El Pollo
03-23-2007, 02:54 AM
The scene opens in the WPW locker room. There are various guys sitting around and then the camera spins round the room and sees a chicken who looks up at the camera and nods to it.
Isn’t it funny that WPW’s two biggest jobbers got lumped together on one team? Who would have thought that when the names were being drawn from the hat that Beno and Blade would be once again aligned? The LaVigne dynasty, reunited once again to valiantly stride to the ring and get their asses pinned to the mat for a whole 3 seconds. In fact, I can’t even see the point in either of these guys being on the roster.
Now, obviously, these words will seem laughable to the vast majority of those familiar in WPW, coming from the chicken man that is routinely seen as only being in the fed to allow the commentators and my opponents to make lame chicken jokes. Yet, many of those same people that were quick to come up with the jokes are now agreed on one thing; The jokes are wearing thin and there isn’t really very much left to do in the way of humour for me. Well, I must admit, I never thought the day would come when people ran out of chicken jokes, but I’m relieved it has. Finally, people might look beyond my costume and see more than a side-show, more than WPW’s gift to the jokers of this world. Through PCW and now in WPW, I have had moderate success, even winning the PCW hardcore title, a belt that either of my opponents this week would feel honoured to hold. I may have a lot of losses in my career, but these have nearly always been hard fought battles where I have narrowly lost out. Take a few weeks ago on TNT as an example. Phill Bennett, for all his money and arrogance met a challenge that he wasn’t expecting and very nearly paid the price. Yes, the win will be notched on his post but the important thing is that I know. I know now that when it comes down to it, I can go with just about anyone in this fed and hold my beak up high.
This week will be no different. When Beno and Blade walk out to that ring, they will see nothing but a camel and a chicken, two freaks that will be easy to take down. Yes, Blade holds a victory over PCW champion Mike Adams, as he is so inclined to remind us. Yet, what kind of career is it when all you have to boast about is one win? I’ve tasted gold, albeit very briefly. I liked it you know, much better than my usual diet of grain and seed. Beno, have you carried gold? I don’t quite remember much of your tenure in PCW as it was, how shall I put this, laughable. Now, again this may seem hypocritical coming from me, but the difference is I was supposed to be laughable, that was my role. You were laughable in spite of your best efforts. This week, I dare you to come to ringside and laugh at my partner and I. I dare you to find out what this man in a chicken suit is really capable of. I dare you to make the usual KFC jokes and throw out the odd quip about wings and breast or whatever else. Most of all I dare you to look into my eyes and see the steel looking back at you. Then we’ll see who is truly a chicken.
Isn’t it funny that WPW’s two biggest jobbers got lumped together on one team? Who would have thought that when the names were being drawn from the hat that Beno and Blade would be once again aligned? The LaVigne dynasty, reunited once again to valiantly stride to the ring and get their asses pinned to the mat for a whole 3 seconds. In fact, I can’t even see the point in either of these guys being on the roster.
Now, obviously, these words will seem laughable to the vast majority of those familiar in WPW, coming from the chicken man that is routinely seen as only being in the fed to allow the commentators and my opponents to make lame chicken jokes. Yet, many of those same people that were quick to come up with the jokes are now agreed on one thing; The jokes are wearing thin and there isn’t really very much left to do in the way of humour for me. Well, I must admit, I never thought the day would come when people ran out of chicken jokes, but I’m relieved it has. Finally, people might look beyond my costume and see more than a side-show, more than WPW’s gift to the jokers of this world. Through PCW and now in WPW, I have had moderate success, even winning the PCW hardcore title, a belt that either of my opponents this week would feel honoured to hold. I may have a lot of losses in my career, but these have nearly always been hard fought battles where I have narrowly lost out. Take a few weeks ago on TNT as an example. Phill Bennett, for all his money and arrogance met a challenge that he wasn’t expecting and very nearly paid the price. Yes, the win will be notched on his post but the important thing is that I know. I know now that when it comes down to it, I can go with just about anyone in this fed and hold my beak up high.
This week will be no different. When Beno and Blade walk out to that ring, they will see nothing but a camel and a chicken, two freaks that will be easy to take down. Yes, Blade holds a victory over PCW champion Mike Adams, as he is so inclined to remind us. Yet, what kind of career is it when all you have to boast about is one win? I’ve tasted gold, albeit very briefly. I liked it you know, much better than my usual diet of grain and seed. Beno, have you carried gold? I don’t quite remember much of your tenure in PCW as it was, how shall I put this, laughable. Now, again this may seem hypocritical coming from me, but the difference is I was supposed to be laughable, that was my role. You were laughable in spite of your best efforts. This week, I dare you to come to ringside and laugh at my partner and I. I dare you to find out what this man in a chicken suit is really capable of. I dare you to make the usual KFC jokes and throw out the odd quip about wings and breast or whatever else. Most of all I dare you to look into my eyes and see the steel looking back at you. Then we’ll see who is truly a chicken.