WUCW Radio part II

[TheMainMan25]

The scene opens at WUCW radio-your first, best source of news from the world of professional wrestling. Seated at the mic is the host Terry Travis. Instead of his usual Hawaiian shirt attire, he is dressed in a cowboy shirt, tight boots and cowboy boots. Next to him is some confetti, and a Kazoo. Instead of tacky, he just looks plain goofy.

Terry:
Welcome everyone to WUCW Radio! We have a very special show for you today. We have Grand Master Sexay from the WWE on the show today, returning from a nearly 2 year hiatus-we'll talk to him later. But first, we have the uCw World Champion in the house with us today, (cheesy music) The Main Man!

"Rockstar by N.E.R.D. hits the airwaves as the Main Man enters. The Main Man is wearing sunglasses, which he doesn't take off. Terry throws some confetti in the air and blows his Kazoo as the Main Man gets seated.

Terry:
Welcome Champ! Let me be the first one to congratulate the first ever uCw World Champion! (cues cheesy music)

TMM:
Thank you, Larry.

Terry:
It's Terry.

TMM:
Thank you, Terry. The Main Man appreciates your adulation. You obviously know "the greatest" when you see it.

Terry:
I sure do. So, is that a new nickname? I know that you're the Warden of Whupass, The Baron of Beatdown, the Bronze Adonis Himself!!!!

TMM:
You look like you got a little too excited there, Barry.

Terry:
TERRY!

TMM:
That's what the Main Man said.

Terry:
So, are you going to add this new nickname to that list?

TMM:
It's certainly appropriate, don't you think?

Terry:
Hey, no argument from me! But I wonder what the boys backstage think about that? If uCw is known for anything, it's the HUGE egos backstage.

TMM:
Since when has the Main Man EVER cared what the boys backstage think? The Main Man doesn't care about their little insignificant egos, their little petty squabbles! The Main Man is above all of that, and this World Title proves it. He told all of them from the beginning that he doesn't care about their respect. He never asked for it! Why is that? Because the Main Man knows that without him, this company becomes like Death Valley-a pathetic wasteland where you go to die. Or in this case, end your career in obscurity.

Terry:
Now, I know that the guys backstage are gonna have something to say about that! Especially the True Kings, who we won't address now.

TMM:
Why not?

Terry:
Well, I just...look at what they did to you last week!!!

TMM:
And what did they do? Destroy the Main Man? He's still here, still standing. Sure, his head still hurts when he looks at the lights. But he's here, not even a week after the True Kings tried to do their worst. But what they did was jump "uCw's Greatest" while he was trying to celebrate. It took 3 men to lay out the Main Man. What does that tell you, Terry?

Terry:
It's Terr...hey! You got my name right! Rock on!

TMM:
What does that tell you Terry?

Terry:
It tells me that you're a tough son of a...

TMM:
No, wrong. It tells you that any attempt to take the Main Man head-on, one-on-one, mano-a-mano is a wasted effort. The Main Man is unbeatable, borderline invincible, in the ring. The only matches he's lost in the company have been due to other people, or nancy-boys that can't hold up their end of the match. Hell, the Main Man went head-to-head with Biohazard or as the Main Man likes to call him, "the strongest Gorilla in the zoo",and would've come out on top if it hadn't been for Mr. Hahn, his "bosom buddy".

Terry:
Speaking of Biohazard, he has a number-one contender's match this upcoming Revolution against his former teammate, Dust. Any thoughts on who you'd like to face?

TMM:
You haven't been listening have you, Carrey? The Main Man doesn't care if he faces Dust, Biohazard, the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, the Trick's Rabbit, or George W. Bush in the ring! The result is going to be the same. The ref is going to raise the Bronze Adonis' hand in victory as the EMT's take some nancy-boy to emergency room, and the janitors sweep the bowel movements from the ring. The crowds will cheer, and the boys in the back will hate it.

Terry:
Why would they hate it?

TMM:
Because they hate the Main Man. Wouldn't you if the was someone like the Main Man outshining you on the radio? Of course, you would. The Main Man can see it in your face. He's outshining you right now. Let's take some phone calls.

Terry:
Well, we have to take a break first, champ.

TMM:
Okay, let's take a break.

Terry:
You got it. We'll be right back with more of the Main Man, here on WUCW radio.

--------------Commercial break-------------

[TheMainMan25]

Terry:
Welcome back! For those of you who are just tuning in, we are speaking with the first ever uCw World Champion-the Main Man. Before we get to some phone calls, let me ask you about Dust's actions at In Demand. What did you think of him hurting D-Dogg's wife?

TMM:
That was a pure bitch move in the Main Man's opinion. If the Main Man wants to hurt you, then he's going to hurt YOU. Not your wife, not your cousin, not your sister-well, if your sister is fine enough, the Main Man will put a hurting on her.

Terry:
Ha Ha! You sounded like Mykal Adams just then.

TMM:
Who?

Terry:
All joking aside Champ, the are a lot of people that say that if Dust hadn't distracted himself in the match at In Demand he would be the uCw World Champion right now.

TMM:
Which people?

Terry:
Oh you know, people...critics.

TMM:
The Main Man listens to only one critic-himself. The rest of them can kiss the Main Man's ass. Check that. They're not worthy of the Main Man's ass. They can lick his boot. And as far as Dust beating the Main Man at In Demand, it was never going to happen. Look at the record books. That nancy-boy has NEVER beaten the Main Man one-on-one. Not in the IOWF and not here. Dust can say that he's the greatest wrestler alive all he wants, but the Main Man knows differently. Dust is the Ringo Starr of the uCw-he's nothing without his buddies. If he didn't lead the True Kings around by the nose, would anybody even realize that he exists? Not a chance in hell! So if Dust is in a hurry to get the living piss stomped out of him, then he can meet the Main Man in the ring alone. The Main Man dares him because what will follow will be one of the most spectacular ass-beatings in uCw history. The Main Man's sick of talking about that pansy. Let's take some phone calls.

Terry:
Great. First up we have Raymond from Long Island. Ray, you're on with the Main Man.

Ray:
Hi, I just wanted to say congratulations to the Main Man. My wife is a huge fan of yours and she wanted to know if she could get an autographed t-shirt with your face on it or something.

TMM:
Sure thing. What should the Main Man write on it?

Ray:
Just sign your name and put a heart around it.

TMM:
Who should the Main Man make it out to?

Ray:
Um....Raymond.

Terry:
You're wife's name is Raymond???

There is silence followed by heavy breathing.

TMM:
That's just gross. Next caller.

Terry:
Sorry Raymond. Go take a shower. Next up we have Jim from Manchester, England. Jim, you're on with the Main Man.

Jim:
Hello? Yes, Main Man you deserved every second of that beating that the True Kings gave you last week. And you'll probably be the shortest termed champion ever after Dust gets through with you.

TMM:
Get the hell outta here, ya French bastard.

Jim:
French? I'm British you ass.............

Terry:
Goodbye Jim! Gotta keep it clean. I will say this Champ, you instill strong reactions from the fans.

TMM:
Either you worship the Main Man, like Raymond's gay ass, or you hate him. But one way or another, you will respond. The Main Man's too big for you not to.

Terry:
Agreed. Let's get one more phone call. This guy didn't give his name. Caller you're on with the Main Man.

Caller:
.................

Terry:
Caller, you're on the air with the Main Man. Are you there?

Caller:
Oh yes, I'm here. I wonder, does "the Main Man" recognize my voice?

TMM:
The Main Man talks to lots of guys in the course of a week. Of course he doesn't remember.

Caller:
That's unfortunate. I remember you. I remember the man who defeated me, the man who took everything away from me, the man who ruined my life. I remember you.

TMM:
Is there a point to all of this, Princess?

Caller:
Still the comedian I see. Yes, there is a point and that point is this: I have returned. I have returned to do to you what you did to me. I'm going to take everything from you. I'm going to ruin your life.

TMM:
What in the hell are you talking about? If the Main Man beat the crap out of you sometime in the past, he's sorry. Check that. No he's not. You probably had it coming. If you want another ass beating, be the Main Man's guest. The Warden of Whupass will be happy to oblige.

Caller:
No, not now. Not yet. You see, I saw you on television last week after you were beaten mercilessly by the True Kings and I realized something. This facade that you call "the Main Man" is unbeatable. You can attack "the Main Man" forever and he will keep getting up, keep coming back for more. Yes, "the Main Man" is unbeatable. The man beneath the facade....is not. And that is who I'm going to attack-the man. I wait until exactly the right moment and then, when you are broken, I will finish you and take that which matters most to you. I mean to deprive you of your fame, your wealth, your title, and then I will deprive you of your life. (click)

Terry:
Caller? Caller? What the hell was that all about?

TMM:
The Main Man doesn't know and doesn't care. Just another loony who wants what he can't have.

Terry:
Well, that's all of the time we have today. I'd like to thank the champ for another...THRILLING segment. We'll be right back.

---------------End--------------