Scorch
12-31-2009, 03:24 AM
WPW's Christmas Santatasticalur*
12-(25ish)-2009
A Magical Place (That Has To Do With Santa)
North Pole, Alaska
The scene opens up with Mike Adams in a red and green suit with a big smile on his face and Jess is there next to him in a red dress with a slight baby bump that is visible standing in front of their Christmas tree.
Adams: Greetings fans, and welcome to the Holiday Edition of WPW Turmoil! Now I say holiday because I know there are other members of our WPW family that don't celebrate Christmas, so I don't want to offend anyone.
Jess: That...and Michael Karver sent you about five or six texts to make sure we recognize "his people."
Adams: Indeed, so Happy Chinese Food and Movie Day as well!
But as part of this special holiday night, all of our titles will be on the line as a gift to our fans! And throughout the night you'll be seeing who ended up on the nice list this year, and who ended up on the naughty list. And I know someone in particular who has a rather sizable place on the latter but I don't want to spoil the surprise.
So from our family to yours, have a great holiday season everyone, and enjoy the show!
Daniel: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to WPW's finale of 2009! This is our christmas special, and boy do we have a great show for you tonight!
Every WPW Championship will be on the line, and no champion's title is safe. Our newest championship, the Pure Championship will be on the line, as Justin Dreamer defends against two newcomers to WPW, Jermaine Daniels and Mark Van Dizzle, as well as former God of Live Champion, Phillip Bennett.
The WPW Tag Team Championship are up for grabs. As the champions could not defeat Jokester and Blade in the time allocated last week on TNT, they will defend their titles against them here tonight, The Judge and Scorch will have a fight on their hands, no doubt.
The WPW Florida State Championship will be defended in an elimination style match, as "The Marvelous" "Lone Wolf" "Main Event" "Queer" ...Oh, thats not one of his nicknames? Well, Trent James defends his Florida State Championship against Shiny Head, Peter Paley, T-dog, John Q Jersey and the man who believes he should now be the WPW World Heavyweight Champion, Sal Karver.
Dan Murph, the man who promises his Apocalypse will reign over WPW Tonight, will defend his WPW World Heavyweight Championship in a Triple Threat Ladder Match. I get the feeling this match will be Triple Threat by name alone, as Dan defends his title against Omar "Bona-Fide" Gibson, and his run-in buddy, Jason Bennett.
But now we start off our show with our first match. As you've probably noticed by now by collegue, Max Stockton is not here with me, that's because he's in the ring, and now I've successfully talked you through his, and Gunnar Brian's entrances, lets go over to Mina Henderson!
Grudge Match
Gunnar Brian vs Max Stockton
Mina: The following contest is scheduled for one fall...
That's as far as Mina gets, as Gunnar immediately attacks the former wrestler and WPW Original Announcer, Max Stockton. Max falls to the ground immediately as Gunnar begins to pummel away at him, ramming his fist into the face of Max over and over again. The referee reluctantly rings the bell, and then tries to get Gunnar off of Max. The referee shouts at Gunnar, but he ignores him and continues to beat on Max, who is trying as best he can to fend off the attack from the crazed former Florida State Champion.
Max tries to fire a right hand at Gunnar, but the demented superstar catches it and pokes him right in the eyes. He then throws Max to the ground, grabbing his shoulders and spinning him around. Gunnar stomps away at Max, who seems to be struggling to protect himself. It is clear to everyone that Max is completely overmatched and in serious danger of being severely injured. At this point Daniel starts to shout for somebody to stop the match, but Gunnar threatens the ref, intimidating him enough to stay back. Gunnar stands on Max’s neck, cutting off his air as Daniel stops calling the match and just starts to plead for an end to the contest.
Daniel finally leaves the table as Max appears defenseless with Gunnar now firing away with rights to the face. The official tries to stop Daniel from coming in, but Gunnar pulls the other announcer in the ring and grabs him with a front face lock. He looks set to deliver a DDT when Max hits him with a chop block from behind. He then drops an elbow and tries for a cover, but Gunnar kicks out before a count can start. Gunnar gets up and slams Max, before turning his attention back to Daniel. As he does, Max slides out of the ring. Gunnar takes Daniel who flails like a girl and slams him down with a vicious over the shoulder slam. He then heads up to the top rope and signals he is ready to end Daniel. As he does, a man in a Max mask pops out from under the ring and hops up onto the apron. He then shoves Gunnar off the top, flipping him over before he crashes into the mat on the way down. The man rolls back out of the ring before the real Max comes in. The crowd is on their feat as Max ascends to the second rope. He then screams out before flying down and crashing his fist into the face of Gunnar. He hooks the leg as the referee quickly counts one, two, three. Max rushes out of the ring, as the official returns a stunned Gunnar’s glare.
Mina: Here is your winner, Max Stockton! And Gunnar, do not forget your shoes.
Mina holds up a pair of elf shoes and tosses them into the ring. Gunnar looks irate as a team of security and several other wrestlers come out from the back to force him to out to fulfill the rest of his obligations. The show then cuts backstage.
We are backstage in the arena, outside Jason Bennett’s locker room. The door opens and Jason can be seen, getting ready for his match tonight. He is looking through his gym bag and retrieves his wrestling attire. He places it on the bench beside him and takes a deep breath. Jason begins pacing as Dan Murph enters his locker room, proudly carrying the WPW Championship over his shoulder. Dan barges past the cameraman and takes a seat on the bench opposite Jason as Jason stops pacing. Jason looks at Dan.
Dan: ...
Jason: What?
Dan: ...
Jason begins pacing again. Dan’s eyes track Jason as he paces.
Jason: So, did you want to talk strategy?
Dan: ...
Jason: Did you want to discuss how we can hurt OBG?
Dan: ...
Jason is getting frustrated as he stops pacing. Dan’s eyes lock onto his opponent tonight.
Jason: What the fuck do you wanna do?
Dan: ...
Jason smirks.
Jason: I know... You wanna discuss what we are going to do after I win the WPW Championship tonight. I think we should get the fuck outta here and head back to my mansion for a party.
Dan twitches, but still remains silent.
Jason: Well? I win the title tonight and you help me celebrate? How does that sound?
Dan stands up off the bench and steps towards Jason. The two men are face to face and Dan finally breaks his silence. Dan takes a deep breath. Before quickly grabbing Jason by the throat and throwing him back towards a locker.
Dan: Jason... You even think about crossing me tonight, and I'll break your fucking neck. Just like I will OBG.
Dan lets go, turns and walks away from Jason.
Jason: All because of some fucking dwarves? Jeez.
Jason turns to his gym bag and resumes pacing as we cut back to the arena.
Florida State Title Santa's Secret Match
Trent James vs T-Dog vs John Q Jersey vs Sal Karver vs Peter Paley
Sal Karver, John Q. Jersey, and T-Dog stand in the ring as they prepare for their next opponent to walk down the ramp. They all look toward the titantron as "Welcome Home" by Coheed and Cambria hits while Peter Paley walks down the ramp wearing a very noticeable bald cap as he struts down the ring while Jersey, T-Dog, and Karver are laughing their asses off. Paley now enters the ring making a belt signal around his waist to his three opponents. But the referee immediately walks up to Paley and removes his bald cap, revealing that he still has not shaven his head. The referee tells Paley that he is disqualified from the match as the frantic Paley starts yelling at everyone and then eventually gets out of the ring and walks up the ramp as his opponents sarcastically wave goodbye to him while they continue to laugh at him.
Peter Paley Eliminated.
As Paley finally walks back into the the curtains as "Voices" by Rev Theory hits and Trent James comes out with his Florida State title on his shoulder. He then gets to the rampway as he holds his title up in the air while he poses so people can take pictures and finally pretends to howl before he stops posing to walk to the ring. Back in the ring, his challengers roll their eyes at Trent, as they look almost embarrassed for him. Trent walks into the ring and poses one more time on the top of the turnbuckle before he gets off it and hands the belt to the referee. The ref holds the Florida State title up in the air, signaling that will be on the line as the bell rings.
*Ding Ding*
Each man staredown each other as they all are near their own corners. After a few moments, Jersey decides to start by running after T-Dog while Karver goes after Trent. But before Karver could get his hands on him, Trent quickly exits the ring and looks on from the sidelines. Karver shrugs his shoulders and decides to join in on the Jersey/T-Dog brawl. Karver sees T-Dog getting the upper hand on Jersey and decides to help the somewhat newcomer by hitting T-Dog from behind as now Karver and Jersey irish whip T-Dog to the turnbuckle. Karver tells Jersey something as he noda a yes to Sal as he now runs at T-Dog and connects with a turnbuckle clothesline. But Jersey is not finished, as he throw the weary T-Dog with another irish whip over to Sal as he delivers a dropkick, which send T-Dog to the floor. They then pick up T-Dog together and decide to hit him with a double suplex. They both get up and Karver offer Jersey a handshake, which he gladly accepts. Karver gives Jersey a grin and then turns around to go after T-Dog, but Jersey makes a quick decision by grabbing the leg of Karver and rolling him for a school boy while the ref makes the count, but only gets a two. Karver and Jersey get up at the same time as they both stare at each other while Sal gives Jersey a little grin but shakes his head while Jersey looks at him with disbelief.
Karver then runs at Jersey with a clothesline, bringing him down to the floor. But as soon as that happens, T-Dog, starts to get to his feet and sees the opening he has on Kaver, he seems to have some momentum building as he connects a bulldog on Sal. T-Dog then goes after Jersey, as he starts to get up on his knees, T-Dog runs at him with hits his face with a high knee, sending Jersey right back down to the floor. Trent continues to circle the ring, trying not to get close to any of his opponents, grinning at Sal who is trying to get up. T-Dog continues his assault on Jersey by picking him up and hitting two belly to belly suplexes, then his T Bone Suplex. T-Dog goes for the cover but only gets a two count. By this point Sal gets up and starts throwing blows at T-Dog until he gets to the ropes, that's when Sal irish whips him to the other side of the ring, where Trent is hanging out by. As T-Dog makes his way over to the other side, Trent decides to grab the leg of T-Dog and trips him. Trent back to where he was before, making it seem like he didn't do anything. Karver gives Trent a very nasty look, apparantly not approving what he did, but then goes over to T-Dog and drags him over to the center of the ring, he seems to be preparing to hit the SSK.
While T-Dog slowly gets up, Sal runs at him, but misses the SSK, as T-Dog, playing possum, ducks, quickly gets up, and gets a hold of Karver from behind, delivering three german suplexes in a row. T-Dog, feeling his second wind already, wants to try for a fourth, but Karver breaks the hold by elbowing the head of T-Dog. Karver and T-Dog then start throwing blows to each other once again, not realizing that behind them, Jersey is managing to get to the top of the turnbuckle and then takes both of them down with a flying Born to Run! The crowd cheers, along with Trent James who is sarcastically clappping, as Jersey gets up, feeling the momentum. But what he doesn't know is Trent is back in the ring and hits Jersey with a running Sleep Walking. He quickly rolls Jersey over for the pin. 1,2,3!
John Q. Jersey Eliminated.
The crowd boos heavily as Trent gets up showing off a grin as he now takes the advantage while his last two opponents are still on the ground. Trent tries to decide which one he wants to hurt first, so he walks over to Karver's body and picks him up and delivers multiple backbreakers. Trent lets go off Karver and lets him drop to the floor, as he is now goes after T-Dog and starts to kick the midsection while he screams in pain. After Trent finishes his beatdown of T-Dog he turns around to Sal only to find out thathe is now up and hits a clothesline to Trent. James gets up quickly though, but Sal runs at him again with another clothesline. But to the amaze of Karver, Trent gets right back up, Sal then runs at Trent and connects with a neckbreaker, hoping that will end it. Sal makes the cover, but gets a 2 and a half count. Karver seems fustrated as he walks over T-Dog to help him up to his feet. He tells something T-Dog and points at Trent on the ground, as they both begin to have the same sadistic look on their faces. They both walk over to Trent, but are still feeling the pain from their backs and midsections from earlier. They both grab Trent by the arms to lift him up, set him up, and connect with a double Impaler! T-Dog then makes the cover as Karver counts with the ref. 1, 2,3!!!!
Trent James Eliminated.
The crowd let's out a huge pop as the ref goes to check on Trent's lifeless body. T-Dog then pays his attention over to Karver, who's on the other side of the ring. Karver is favoring his back right now as T-Dog is holding his stomach in pain. Both men let go of their painful body parts and then go after each other as each men is blocking the punch the other is throwing at them until Karver finally delivers a kick to T-Dog's midsection. T-Dog drops to his knees as then Karver hits T-Dog once again with a kick to the head as he drops down to the ground. Karvers seems to have the upper hand on T-Dog as he now drags near the turnbuckle and climbs the top rope so he can hit The Spectacle. Karver flies off the turnbuckle in a moonsault like fashion, but misses due to T-Dog managing to roll out of the way, as Karver hits the mat while holding his abdomen.
T-Dog seems to have some energy left as he gets back up to his feet and running over to Karver, picking him up and preparing to hit The Truth Hurts. T-Dog is having trouble at the moment though, trying to hook the arms of Karver, but Karver manages to counter it with a big back drop. As T-Dog holds his back in pain, trying to get to his knees, Sal finds this as an opportunity to connect with the SSK, which he does. Sal makes the cover as the refs and drops. 1, 2, 3!!!!!!
T-Dog Eliminated.
Mina: Here is your winner and the NEEWW WPW Florida State Champion, SALLLL KAAAARRRRVERR!!!!
Amy White: Hello Everyone and Happy Holidays! Amy White here to talk to our WPW Pure Champion Justin.......
Amy looks around, not seeing anyone near her. She looks puzzled.
Amy White: Where did he go?
Justin Dreamer: Right here.
Amy jumps in fright as she turns around and sees Justin Dreamer standing very close behind with a sick grin. Amy sighs in relief.
Amy White: Oh Justin you scared me...Haven't got Halloween out of your system yet have you?
Amy giggles while Dreamer takes the grin off his face and gives her a dirty look. She starts to get nervous and stops giggling.
Amy White: Anyway...You have your first title defense of the Pure title in a few minutes, any thoughts on that?
JD: ...Thoughts? When it comes to this match I don't have to think about it much at all, it's a fatal four way match against three nobodies who want to make a name for themselves and they think they can take me down to do that. Well to be honest, there here only to job to me, because that's all they're worth and will ever be....jobbers.
Amy White: But Jermaine Dan.....
JD: Don't talk to me about that Jermaine kid, he's in the same group as thoughs other two. It doesn't matter where he's been, so I'm not intimidated by that, if he's a decent wrestler he thinks he is, he'll show it in that ring.
Amy White: Well thank you and I hope this Christmas day turns out great for you!
Dreamer turns his head slowly to Amy, as he starts to twitch a little bit.
JD: Christmas.....is nothing more than a hoax, hate to break to you. It's just that one night where everyone can pretend to enjoy life...before the big end. See, there will be an end soon, very soon actually. My journey has taken me from Judge to the Pure title to now and now, will happen this very night, "Christmas," a night no one will soon ever forget. Not because of a big red guy or a holy figure millions believe in....but because of me, because I'm Justin Dreamer...and it's going to be a bloody Christmas tonight.....
Dreamer turns away from Amy and looks over at the camera.
JD: The end is near? More like the the end is here tonight.............
Dreamer then turns away and leaves while Amy looks at the camera shaing her head.
Amy White: That guy is gonna get some coal tonight.............
At a local mall in North Pole, Alaska, there is a Santa greeting house smack dab in the middle of it. There is a long line of children, who are jumping for joy, with their parents at their side. The cameraman follows this long line until he gets to the house itself, as upon entering it, are two young and attractive girl elves winking at the cameraman. The cameraman then sees inside none other than the jolly man himself, Santa Clause! Beside him is Gunnar Brian, looking very bored with a Santa hat on, as he then starts to bring children in one at a time. Brian brings in a little girl to sit on Santa's hat.
HO HO HO! What's your name little girl?
Samantha!
HO HO! And what do you want for Christmas Samantha?
I want a barbie, a barbie malibu house, and a barbie barbie dress!
Gunnar whispers to himself.
I'd want some barbie barbwire so I can shut your mouth........
Santa hears this, then turns back to the girl with a jolly laugh.
Well, Santa will get that to you right away Samantha!
The girl runs off happy as ever as Santa turns back to stare at Gunnar. Talking in his normal voice.
Listen, you can't say that stuff near these kids!
Why not? Bout time they learned about barbwire and how you can choke from your own blood.
Just try to not to act psychopathic!
Gunnar gives Santa a sarcastic grin.
I'll try.......
The next child runs in, this time a little boy, and he immediately jumps on Santa's lap. Santa reverts to his jolly voice.
HO HO HO! And what's your name little boy?
Ryan!
HO HO! Well what do you want for Christmas Ryan?
The child gives Santa a puppy dog like face as Gunnar just rolls his eyes.
Santa, I don't want anything for Christmas, I'll I want is for Sophie Cassius to get better....
Gunnar starts to get a little peeved off by that remark as the child then realizes who Gunnar is, jumps off Santa's lap and kicks Gunnar in the shin, then runs out of the house. Santa reverts back to his normal voice once again.
....What did you do?.....
Something that needed to be done....that's all you need to know big boy......
Daniel: Next up, some people’s contender for match of the night.
Max: Yeah, some people in a mental home.
Daniel: Max, don’t be dismissive of a large part of our demographic.
Max: I thought it was just frustrated housewives, insomniacs and delinquent teenagers that watched us.
Daniel: Well………yeah……….them and Vince McMahon, judging by some of the angles that appear on WWE soon after we’ve used them here. Oh, here’s Mina.
WPW Pure Championship Match
Justin Dreamer vs Phill Bennett vs Jermaine Daniels vs Mark VanDizzle
Mina: This next match is for the Pure Wrestling title and is between………..
Mina is interrupted by the appearance on the big screen of a backstage commotion among the four wrestlers involved in the fight - Justin Dreamer, Mark VanDizzle, Phill Bennett and Jermaine Daniels. They are throwing each other into concession stands, slamming opponents into doors and aiming punches at unprotected heads. Current champion, Justin Dreamer grabs a bleeding Jermaine Daniels by the neck and marches him through the curtain and up the ramp into the ring. He floors him with a Dream Street (Styles Clash into Piledriver) and covers.
Referee Todd Franklin calls for the bell to start the match, gets to his knees and slams the mat…..
1.…………………………….........2.…………………………….....thr………..no !!!!!!!!!!
New guy Daniels gets a shoulder up just before Franklin’s hand hits the mat and Franklin bounces up to indicate a two count.
Dreamer bounces up and gets right in Franklin’s face to argue that it was clearly a three count but Franklin stands on his tiptoes to make his point that it was only two and that, though he may be shorter than Dreamer, he is slightly taller if he stands like this. Dreamer turns back into a Headscissors Takedown from Daniels who follows up with some forearms as Dreamer lies supine.
Daniel: Explosive start to this match. I thought it was going to finish right there with a Dream Street but rookie Daniels will want to prove that he is worth his place in a WPW ring.
Max: He sure looks built for the Pure style.
Daniel: I’m not even sure that we know what the Pure Style is yet. I guess we have to follow Dreamer’s lead in this.
Daniels goes for a Flip Mode Lionsault before Dreamer can recover but is a fraction too slow and Dreamer manages to roll away so that Daniels hits bare mat. Dreamer goes to the ropes for a breather, letting Daniels get to his hands and knees, but Dreamer hits him with a kick to the side of the head before he can fully get up. Dreamer hoists him into Piledriver position but Daniels wriggles and overbalances Dreamer. Daniels grabs a leg and asks for the count but Dreamer gets a shoulder up before Franklin can get in position.
Max: Both of these men have had interesting upbringings. Dreamer was briefly involved with the East La Latin Kings mob until they discovered that he wasn’t Hispanic.
Daniel: How did they ever find that out?
Max: The genealogical research division of The Latin Kings turned up some evidence of his Lutheran upbringing and German/Swiss grandfather. That plus his terrible sunburn whenever the temperature hit 75 degrees.
Daniel: And Daniels?
Max: Well, he’s black - of course he doesn’t sunburn easily.
Daniel: No, I meant, what about his upbringing?
Max: Well, it says in his biog that he’s a thug turned pro wrestler but I believe that he’s keeping his ‘Bronx Mathlete of the Year 2001’ prize secret.
Daniel: That’s because he stole it in a break-in in 2002.
Max: Oh.
Back at the wrestling, Daniels and Dreamer have resorted to a stand up fist fight before Daniels whips Dreamer to the ropes and back body drops him on the rebound. He goes for a follow up elbow drop but Dreamer avoids this and twists Daniels into a Just-A-Dreamer Tazzmission with leg scissors. Daniels grabs the rope but Dreamer keeps the hold on until threatened with disqualification by referee Todd Franklin.
Max: Dreamer might as well have been disqualified. He would have kept the title.
Daniel: Yes, but he wouldn’t have had the satisfaction of a victory and wouldn’t have proved his point that the likes of Daniels cannot hope to compete in a ring with himself.
Dreamer releases and uses the far rope for momentum to effect a baseball slide so that Daniels is pushed out of the ring. Daniels groggily gets to his feet on the outside but Dreamer yells in the middle of the ring before launching a Suicide Dive over the top rope. Both man sprawl against the fan railing but Daniels recovers first to club Dreamer several times then roll him back in the ring. He drops him with a Tiger Suplex then goes to the top turnbuckle for the Gunshot Massacre 450 Corkscrew Splash.
Dreamer shifts position in time and Daniels hits the mat.
Dreamer considers a Moonsault but seeing Daniels semiconscious, rolls him over and hooks a leg.
A bloodied Phill Bennett and Mark VanDizzle run from backstage and attempt to enter the ring to prevent the three count but get in each others way, Bennett drop toeholding VanDizzle onto the stairs. Franklin counts.
1.………………………2.……………………..3!!
Ding Ding
Mina: Your winner, and STILL the Pure Championship Title Holder…………Justiiiiiiiiiiiiiin Dreamerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daniel: There you have it - four men in the match but only two made it to the ring. But what entertainment they gave us to go with our Christmas lunch. Max?
Max: Great work from the new guy but Dreamer is a man with a mission - a mission to keep WPW pure.
Daniel: With absolutely no eugenic implications behind that statement.
Max: None whatsoever, even if I had the faintest idea what that meant.
Judge is seen backstage talking on a cell phone. He appears to be deeply engaged in the conversation when Scorch appears in the room. Judge assures him he is ready for the match, but Scorch stays put. Judge again tries to shoo him away but Scorch stands nervously. He then drops a letter on Judge's lap, and stands, his eyes unable to focus. Judge opens the letter and reads, a look of shock coming over his face. He quickly ends the call and looks at Scorch as if to ask if it is some kind of joke. The scene cuts away before Scorch can respond. A voice on the other end of the phone asks: "Paul? Paul what is....are you still...Paul...?"
WPW Tag Team Title Match
Judge & Scorch vs Blade & Jokester
Max: Well here we go, time for some awesome tag team action, championship style!
Daniel: This is a rematch from last week, and quite frankly the only reason Jokester and Blade got this tag title shot is because they lost past the time limit.
Max: Well let's be fair, Daniel. Blade insisted on fighting the majority of the match himself, and when he did get the tag the ref didn't see it. You can't very well win a tag team match if you don't get your partner involved especially against the likes of Scorch and Judge.
Daniel: Make excuses all you want, the bottom line is these guys lost last week and they still get a tag title shot and I don't know if I agree with it.
Max: Well Judge has said before in the past that Jokester gives him the most trouble out of anyone on the roster, you don't think it could be...
"What I've Done" blasts through the arena as Mike Adams comes out through the curtain dressed in a horrendous Christmas sweater. As he is smiling and has several presents and envelopes with him. He hands out presents to the little children at ringside and hands two envelopes to Max and Daniel and takes a seat next to them with headphones on.
Adams: Merry Christmas boys!
Max and Daniel open their envelopes to see Christmas cards with checks inside.
Adams: Enjoy your bonuses boys, you deserve it.
Max: Thanks a lot boss, and thanks for the help earlier.
Adams: Don't know what you're talking about Max, congrats on your first win.
Daniel: So what brings you out here anyway? And what's with the crappy sweater?
Adams: Well as to the sweater, I love it. Jess' grandmother made it for me.
Max: Say no more.
Adams: Heh heh, anyway, well I just wanted to come out and see this match firsthand. I always like watching whatever Jokester has planned for holiday shows like this one. Thank God he funds it himself.
Daniel: So you have no idea what is going to happen right now?
Adams: Nope, Blade was dying to tell me, but I told him to let me be as surprised as the rest of the fans.
"Jingle Bells" can be heard over the loudspeaker as several scantily clad women dressed in Mrs. Claus outfits come prancing to the ring giving candy canes to little children.
Max: Not sure if I'd eat those candy canes there kiddies.
Daniel: Yes, you don't really want to know where Jokester got those women.
The women line up all around ringside and point to the entrance way as the song changes to "Santa Claus is Coming To Town" as Craig Sinders comes walking out with a rein in his mouth and a large plastic red nose on, flanked by Connie and Tina dressed as the largest reindeers you've ever seen as they are all pulling a sleigh with Jokester dressed as Santa Claus and Blade dressed as an elf inside the sleigh throwing out t-shirts and what appear to be condoms out to the crowd.
Adams: Oye...Jokester did stress he wanted everyone to have a safe holiday season.
Daniel: Is Blade really dressed as an elf?
Max: He's wearing fake ears....and are those bells on his curl toed shoes?
Adams: Yes, I'm afraid they are. Well he never ceases to amaze me.
Jokester and Blade both uses the back of the Beedeers as steps into the ring as it appears they are not going to remove their costumes for the start of the match. Jokester gives Mina a huge hug and "accidentally" gropes her as he points to the stage as if to silently introduce the tag team champions.
Daniel: Well I guess Mina's in too much of a shock to introduce the tag champs.
"I Hear Them Calling" echoes through the arena silencing the crowd as the champions come out looking disgusted as the display in front of them. Judge and Scorch try to step over the sleigh, which has a huge bag of toys in the back of it, until they realize it's easier to step around the display.
Max: This entrance is nice for our fans, but it's probably just going to anger the champions.
Adams: I can't help but to agree, these guys have never had the greatest sense of humor.
Daniel: So any predictions for this match boss?
Adams: Well the champs have been pretty dominant but it's Christmas, it's the time for miracles.
Max: Did you just quote Die Hard?
Adams: It's the greatest Christmas movie of all time, of course I did.
Jokester points to the stage as Judge's musci is cut off and we hear Tay Zonday singing a new song with a familiar tune.
"You are mean ones, Judge and Scorch.
You really are the heels!"
Judge and Scorch look around as people are now singing along with the song only replacing Grinch for Judge and Scorch and cover their ears. Jokester and Blade are laughing a bit as the champions enter the ring. The ref takes the belts as the music stops and both Judge and Scorch go to attack the challengers. Scorch sends Blade careening over the top rope as Jokester gets backed into a turnbuckle by Judge. Judge delivers a few shots to the gut as Jokester stands there and laughs, it only take a few punches to realize Jokester's belly is stuffed and he doesn't feel a thing, but as soon as he realizes Jokester boxes the ears of Judge. Judge backs away but Scorch delivers a running knee to the face of Jokester. The referee is trying to get one of the champions out of the ring until Blade comes back in and chop blocks Judge from behind. The ref is clearly losing control as Blade pulls Scorch off of Jokester as both challengers Irish whip Scorch into the opposite turnbuckle. The ref is now trying to get one of the challengers out but no one is listening to the referee's instructions.
Daniel: Wow, I thought we had better refs than this.
Max: He needs to get some order here!
Adams: Or.....
Adams stands up at the announce table with a house mike in his hands.
Adams: You know what, clearly this ref is not doing his job properly, these guys have a little too much bad blood between them, so let's make this a Texas Tornado match! Merry Christmas fans!
Judge gazes at Adams very briefly as Adams flashes a grin before Blade drops an elbow on the back of Judge's neck. Blade then locks on a headlock as Scorch blocks a right from Jokester and connects with one of his own and tries kneeing Jokester in the gut but to no avail. Jokester grins again as Scorch then hits a drop kick to the face of Jokester. Scorch then gets back up quickly and tosses Jokester over the top rope as he lands on his own sleigh with a thud. Scorch then goes over to pull Blade off of Judge. Judge elbows Blade in the gut and steps on his elf shoe. Scorch and Judge now double team Blade and double suplex him. Scorch goes for a cover but only gets a two count. Judge grabs the leg of Blade and hooks him in the single leg crab. Blade is trying to fight for the corner but Scorch then grabs his arms and drives his face into the mat with his knee. The ref is asking Blade if he wants to quit when all of a sudden a giant candy cane smacks Scorch upside the head. Jokester then bashes the candy cane right on top of Judge's head to release the hold. The ref goes to ring the bell.
Daniel: Now wait a minute! How stupid was that?! This is for the tag team championships!
Max: Maybe Jokester thought the health of his protege was more important than the titles!
Adams: Well that has to be it! Clearly such selfless un-Scroogelike actions can't be punished at Christmas time!
Adams stands up again.
Adams: Excuse me Mr. referee, since this is the giving season I'm feeling especially generous today and I want to now make this match, no disqualifications and no count outs! Have a Kwazy Kwanzaa everyone!!
Jokester grins again and drags Judge to the turnbuckle and reaches into his Santa suit to pull out handcuffs. Jokester laughs like Santa and he handcuffs Judge to the ringpost. Judge comes to right after the handcuffs are snatched on as he realizes what Jokester has done. Jokester laughs again and reaches into his suit once more and pulls out a key on a chain and puts it around his neck. He taunts Judge with it by standing just beyond arms length. Judge looks furious as Jokester turns around and helps Blade to his feet, making sure he's ok. Blade nods As Jokester goes to pick up Scorch, Scorch nails Jokester with a low blow.
Daniel: His chestnuts just got scorched!
Max: Did you have to interject with that?
Adams: Clearly he did.
Scorch then slams Jokester to the mat and locks up with Blade. He Irish whips Blade to the ropes and sends him down with a big clothesline, but then Jokester gets back up and Scorch knocks him down with one too. Scorch then notices Judge handcuffed to the post, he runs to the post to try and break the handcuffs by stomping and pulling on them. Judge points to Jokester's neck as Scorch turns his attention on the challenger again. Scorch runs and nails a stiff knee to Blade as he's trying to get up but Blade catches it and Jokester boots Scorch in the face at the same time. Blade immediately goes for a jackknife pin as Scorch hit the mat but Scorch gets out at two. Blade then covers again and Jokester jumps on at the same time but Scorch grabs the rope. Blade then pulls Scorch up and holds him for Jokester. Jokester reaches into his suit again and pulls out his famous joy buzzer. Jokester attaches it so the joy part is on the outside. Jokester then hits a few rights to the face of Scorch, and as he winds up for the Joygasm punch (made up name) Scorch ducks and Blade takes the joy buzzers right to the forehead shocking him sending him stumbling through the middle ropes. Jokester looks in shock as Scorch quick snaps behind Jokester and crushes him with a huge German suplex. Scorch then reaches down and grabs the key from around Jokester's neck.
Adams: Wow, quite a showing here from Scorch somehow he's able to fight off both guys.
Daniel: Well I don't think it's too shocking Blade made a mistake like that.
Max: I swear to God, I wish you'd stop with the puns.
Daniel: Awww come on Max, you know I got your back so get off mine.
Adams: Guys focus, it looks like Scorch has the key to unlock Judge and make this a tag affair again.
Scorch runs over to his partner and tries to unlock the cuffs. Blade is staggering towards the sleigh by where Judge got handcuffed but it doesn't look like he's going to make it as Jokester has gone outside the ring. Judge is screaming for Scorch to hurry, but it seems there's something wrong. Scorch tries both locks again but the handcuffs don't seem to be opening. All of a sudden Judge's screams to his partner are cut off by Jokester on Mina's microphone.
Jokester: Oh Scorchiepoo, don't you think it'd be a little stupid of me to bring out the keys for the same set of handcuffs I brought out?
Scorch looks stunned and turns towards Jokester as Judge looks puzzled as well.
Adams: Wow, what a move. Jokester brought fake keys for real handcuffs.
Daniel: Wow, maybe that was the final trick Blade was planning...
Max: Do you think Blade really came up with that?
Jokester: Yes, Blade was watching Robin Hood: Men in tights and the idea just came to him. Now if you'll kindly turn around I believe you'll see your titles slipping from your grasp!
Scorch turns around but instantly Blade rams his head cover ed with the reindeer antler helmet into Scorch's gut.
Max: Scorch just got run over by a Bladedeer!
Blade grabs Scorch and lifts him up for his gut wrench powerbomb but holds Scorch in the air. Jokester attempts to leap to the apron but Judge grabs him and pulls him down, the two men begin to fight on the outside, as Blade brings the bomb down, Scorch grabs Blades arm as Blade makes the cover and gets him in an armbar, the referee begins to count
1...............2.........................3!!!!!!! !!!!
As the referee's hand hits the mat for the three, Blade begins to tap at the exact same moment. The referee rings the bell, but then realises he's not actually sure who has won the match.
Daniel: New Tag Team Champions! They did it, the Bad Dream Team did it!
Max: No way, the Tag Team Champions Judge and Scorch, the team that really needs a name, have retained!
Daniel: What are you talking about? Blade pinned Scorch clean in the middle of the ring.
Max: It happened after Scorch made Blade tap out.
Daniel: How did he do that with his hands cuffed together?
Max: He is a very resourceful man.
Daniel: Let us let Mina handle this one.
Mina: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have just been informed that it appears Blade tapped out at the same time the three count was made on Scorch, as a result this match is being held up pending further review.
Max: Wow, what a huge move.
Daniel: Held up pending further review, what could that mean?
We're back at the local mall in Santa's Greeting house, as Santa is finishing taking a couple of pictures with a few kids while Gunnar Brian continues to bang his head on the wall out of fustration. As the kids leave the house, Santa turns to Gunnar, using his normal voice.
You know, you can at least try to feel Christmas Spirit...
Gunnar stops banging his head and walk towards Santa.
Listen, I don't want to be here, I dont want to wear this ridiculous hat, and I don't have any "chrismas spirit!"
Shh! Another kid is coming
Another boy walks into the small house as Santa starts speaking in his jolly voice again.
HO HO HO! What's your name little boy?
David!
HO HO David! And what do you want for Christmas?
The child turns over to give a glare at Gunnar Brian.
I want Gunnar Brian out of wrestling! Because he's a very bad man!
Gunnar Brian suddenly snaps as walks over to the little boy.
OK THAT'S IT! I'm done with this shit! Listen, little boy, this guy right here...he's not who you think he is....
Santa then suddenly takes the kid off his knee and confronts Gunnar face to face.
OH OH HOLD ON THERE BUDDY! Don't make Santa have to put a jolly ol' candy cane up your behind!
Gunnar smirks as he cracks his neck, shuckles for a moment. Then suddenly starts pummeling Santa with lefts and rights until he gets to the wall of the room, where Gunnar pushes him through, breaking it! Santa falls to the mall floor on top of shattered wall pieces as children circle around Santa and start to cry.
Gunnar, on the other hand is looking down at Santa from the still standing greeting room, giving sadistic grin as he takes off his Santa hat and throws on the lifeless body of Santa.
Ho....Ho.....Ho to you Santa......
A ladder stands in the middle of the ring, another at the top of the ramp way, and four more surround the ring as the crowd starts to buzz about the start of the WPW Championship match.
WPW World Title Ladder Match
Dan Murph vs OBG vs Jason Bennett
Daniel: Ladies and gents, it's now time for the main event of the evening!
Max: Me beating the hell out of Gunnar Brian wasn't the main event?
Daniel: Having three matches since then really didn't give that away?
Max: ...We've had more matches since?
Daniel: Unnnnnbelievable!
Max: Thank you, I trained really hard.
Mina: The following contenst is your main event and is a Ladder Match for the WPW World Heavyweight Championship!!
OBG is the first one out, and within a few seconds he locks his eyes on the Title, and the Ladder directly below it. He walks up towards the ring, with the crowd in attendance cheering him on. He steps into the ring, and stands near the ladder. OBG grabs the ladder, and looks up, as though he's about to start climbing, but as he puts a foot on the bottom rung of the ladder, Jason Bennett's music hits, and he bursts through the curtain, pointing towards OBG as he walks at spend down the ramp. Jason quickly gets into the ring, as both men fight between themselves to try and get up the ladder, which prompts Dan Murph's music to start playing, and the WPW Champion practically sprints down the ramp towards the ring. Jason and OBG are fighting amongst themselves, Jason pushes OBG away, and begins slowly climbing the ladder, being careful to make sure he doesn't slip. OBG gets on the other side of the ladder, as the WPW Champion somehow manages to get on the same side as Jason. All three men are climbing up the ladder towards the title which is hanging from above.
All three men get towards the top of the ladder, both Dan and Jason reach towards the title at the same time. They both stop, and look at eachother, before beginning to fight amongst themselves near the top of the ladder, both men wanting to grab the title and leave as the WPW Champion. OBG quietly makes his way further up the ladder, eager to make sure he doesn't catch the attention of Dan or Jason, also making sure he doesn't tip the ladder over, as it's carrying an awful lot of weight. OBG gets towards the very top of the ladder, as Dan and Jason are still trading blows on the other side. OBG reaches up, and as he does so Dan manages to see him, as does Jason, and they both begin to punch OBG. OBG tries to fight back, but it's not long before the two men are too much for him. OBG begins to fall down the ladder, one rung at a time. Jason and Dan both also get off the ladder, deciding to beat on OBG for a while before they concentrate on trying to retrieve the title.
Dan throws OBG out of the ring, and both Dan and Jason follow him. OBG looks dazed, and as soon as he turns around Dan Murph is there to level him with a hard right hand to the face, OBG staggers straight into Jason, who also hits him straight in the face with a closed fist. OBG falls to the ground. Jason walks past OBG, past a ladder standing nearby, and now Dan and Jason are on either side of OBG, measuring him up for when he gets to his feet, which he is doing, incredibly slowly. OBG grabs onto a crowd barrier, as the crowd begin cheering him on, he uses the barrier to pull himself to his feet. He slowly moves back from the crowd barrier, and turns around, to see two, big, angry men flying towards him, both in an attempt to clothesline him. OBG thinks quickly, ducks the two men, runs up the ladder, and when Dan and Jason turn around, they're greeted by OBG flying off the ladder and taking them both out with a huge cross body to the crowds delight, now all three men are out on the floor outside the ring.
Once the three men slowly make their way to the ring, Dan and Jason again try to sandwich OBG, but again the man fighting to take the WPW Championship away from the men aiming to kill WPW ducks, and Dan and Jason slam head first into eachother, giving OBG chance to take advantage. He slowly crawls over to the ring, and pulls himself up onto the ring apron with the help of the bottom rope and makes his way into the ring, with Dan and Jason still both trying to clear the cobwebs and make their way up. This is OBG's biggest chance to become the WPW Champion, the fans are cheering him on all the way, he gets into the ring, and begins to climb up the ladder. The fans begin to cheer him on even louder, chanting his name over and over again as he slowly makes his way up the ladder, but soon Jason Bennett is able to get back into the ring, and goes after OBG.
Jason grabs OBG's leg, and the two men begin to fight, with Jason actually climbing up the ladder a bit behind OBG to try and stop him from climbing. The two men continue to fight, with Jason grabbing OBG, trying to bring him back down to the ring, and OBG kicking Jason away, before continuing to crawl his way up the ladder. The WPW Champion is now up, and he slowly makes his way towards the ring, still looking a little worse for ware. Jason and OBG continue to battle on the ladder, with both men now nearing the top, as Dan makes his way into the ring, OBG kicks Jason off of him, Jason falls down to the mat and rolls under the bottom rope. OBG is right near the top of the ladder, as the WPW Title swings past his face, he is so close he can almost literally touch it, but the WPW Champion begins to approach the ladder, looking as though he's ready to push the ladder and any dreams OBG has of becoming the WPW Champion away with it.
OBG looks up at the gold, before looking down at Dan, he literally has just a couple of seconds to decide what to do. The fans are cheering him on, hoping, praying that he can pull down the championship and walk into 2010 as the WPW World Heavyweight Championship. OBG takes one more quick look up at the championship, takes a deep breath, and then dives down towards the WPW Champion!
Daniel: OH MY GOD!!!
Max: No! He's gonna take out the Champion!!!!
OBG lands a cross body on the Champion, but Dan manages to catch him and hold on. OBG tries to riggle free, but he can't. Dan hoists OBG onto his shoulders, and then Cyclones him over the top rope and onto the floor. The crowd begin to boo, as Dan immediately walks up to the ladder, and begins climbing, one rung after another, there is no one there to stop him. Dan gets to the top of the ladder, grabs onto the championship to stop it moving around in mid air, and slowly takes it down from the hook hanging from the ceiling, retaining the WPW World Heavyweight Championship.
Mina: The winner of this match, and STILL The WPW World Heavyweight Champion....DAAAAANNNN MURRRRPHHHHH!!!!!!
Daniel: Damnit! I don't believe it! That son of a bitch has retained the WPW Championship here tonight!!
Max: Woah, some mouth you got on you there Danno, he won this match fair and square!
Daniel: Fair and square? This match was never fair are square! This was only ever a gloryfied handicap match to ensure that Dan Murph would work out as the WPW Champion.
Dan holds the title above his head as the crowd boo, Jason is up on the outside, he holds his head, and looks up at Dan for a second, before he begins to walk around the ring, towards OBG who is lying there, motionless. Dan see's what Jason is doing, and begins to climb down the ladder. Jason grabs OBG, and lifts him up, throwing him under the bottom rope and into the ring. Dan grabs OBG, as Jason gets into the ring. He lifts OBG up, and spits in his face, before lifting him up on his shoulders again, going for another Cyclone. The crowd boo louder and louder, Dan nails the Cyclone on OBG. The crowd boo, but Dan doesn't care, he picks him up again, OBG by this point is dead weight, and he goes for another Cyclone...
T-dog begins to run down the ramp, he slides into the ring and begins fighting with Jason Bennett. Dan puts OBG down on the mat, and T-dog begins to fight off both men, somehow holding his own against the Champion and his run-in buddy. T-dog drops Jason with a drop kick, and does the same to Dan. Jason falls out of the ring, but Dan gets straight back up, T-dog goes for another, but Dan just brushes him off and T-dog falls flat on his face in the middle of the ring. Dan quickly grabs T-dog by the back of the head, and lifts him up, going for another Cyclone.
But before he can, the crowd erupt as a hooded man runs down the ramp towards the ring holding a steel chair in his hand. Dan throws down T-dog, and tells the hooded man to bring it on. The man slides into the ring under the bottom rope, and goes face to face with Dan, but we cannot see who this is. Dan tells him to hit him, he moves back, winds up the chair...
Slams the chair over the head of T-dog, who is now checking on the motionless OBG.
Daniel: What the hell was that?
Max: Woah! I thought he came out here to help out T-dog and OBG!
Daniel: So did I! Could this possibly be the Apocalypse Dan Murph has been talking about?
Max: I'm scared, Danno!
Daniel: I know you are, Max. But please...let go of my leg.
Max: Sorry.
Dan nods approvingly, before picking up T-dog, and holding him for the hooded man. Jason gets back into the ring, turns OBG over, and begins delivering hard rights and lefts, while the hooded man drives the chair straight into the abdomen of T-dog. He drops the chair, before grabbing T-dog, lifting him up into a stylesclash position, and then delivering a huge piledriver onto the steel chair!
Daniel: Oh my god!
Max: Yeah, that was brutal!
Daniel: Indeed it was...but I know that move.
Max: Well so do I, I just saw it...
Daniel: No, I mean I know who's move that is...
Max: Oh...
Dan and the hooded man walk over towards the ropes, quickly followed by Jason. The camera zooms in on the three men, as the man pulls down his hood to reveal...
Daniel: Oh no, I was right, it's...
Max: JUSTIN DREAMER?!?!?!?!?!?
The crowd boo as the show ends, with the camera focused on The Apocalypse.
12-(25ish)-2009
A Magical Place (That Has To Do With Santa)
North Pole, Alaska
The scene opens up with Mike Adams in a red and green suit with a big smile on his face and Jess is there next to him in a red dress with a slight baby bump that is visible standing in front of their Christmas tree.
Adams: Greetings fans, and welcome to the Holiday Edition of WPW Turmoil! Now I say holiday because I know there are other members of our WPW family that don't celebrate Christmas, so I don't want to offend anyone.
Jess: That...and Michael Karver sent you about five or six texts to make sure we recognize "his people."
Adams: Indeed, so Happy Chinese Food and Movie Day as well!
But as part of this special holiday night, all of our titles will be on the line as a gift to our fans! And throughout the night you'll be seeing who ended up on the nice list this year, and who ended up on the naughty list. And I know someone in particular who has a rather sizable place on the latter but I don't want to spoil the surprise.
So from our family to yours, have a great holiday season everyone, and enjoy the show!
Daniel: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to WPW's finale of 2009! This is our christmas special, and boy do we have a great show for you tonight!
Every WPW Championship will be on the line, and no champion's title is safe. Our newest championship, the Pure Championship will be on the line, as Justin Dreamer defends against two newcomers to WPW, Jermaine Daniels and Mark Van Dizzle, as well as former God of Live Champion, Phillip Bennett.
The WPW Tag Team Championship are up for grabs. As the champions could not defeat Jokester and Blade in the time allocated last week on TNT, they will defend their titles against them here tonight, The Judge and Scorch will have a fight on their hands, no doubt.
The WPW Florida State Championship will be defended in an elimination style match, as "The Marvelous" "Lone Wolf" "Main Event" "Queer" ...Oh, thats not one of his nicknames? Well, Trent James defends his Florida State Championship against Shiny Head, Peter Paley, T-dog, John Q Jersey and the man who believes he should now be the WPW World Heavyweight Champion, Sal Karver.
Dan Murph, the man who promises his Apocalypse will reign over WPW Tonight, will defend his WPW World Heavyweight Championship in a Triple Threat Ladder Match. I get the feeling this match will be Triple Threat by name alone, as Dan defends his title against Omar "Bona-Fide" Gibson, and his run-in buddy, Jason Bennett.
But now we start off our show with our first match. As you've probably noticed by now by collegue, Max Stockton is not here with me, that's because he's in the ring, and now I've successfully talked you through his, and Gunnar Brian's entrances, lets go over to Mina Henderson!
Grudge Match
Gunnar Brian vs Max Stockton
Mina: The following contest is scheduled for one fall...
That's as far as Mina gets, as Gunnar immediately attacks the former wrestler and WPW Original Announcer, Max Stockton. Max falls to the ground immediately as Gunnar begins to pummel away at him, ramming his fist into the face of Max over and over again. The referee reluctantly rings the bell, and then tries to get Gunnar off of Max. The referee shouts at Gunnar, but he ignores him and continues to beat on Max, who is trying as best he can to fend off the attack from the crazed former Florida State Champion.
Max tries to fire a right hand at Gunnar, but the demented superstar catches it and pokes him right in the eyes. He then throws Max to the ground, grabbing his shoulders and spinning him around. Gunnar stomps away at Max, who seems to be struggling to protect himself. It is clear to everyone that Max is completely overmatched and in serious danger of being severely injured. At this point Daniel starts to shout for somebody to stop the match, but Gunnar threatens the ref, intimidating him enough to stay back. Gunnar stands on Max’s neck, cutting off his air as Daniel stops calling the match and just starts to plead for an end to the contest.
Daniel finally leaves the table as Max appears defenseless with Gunnar now firing away with rights to the face. The official tries to stop Daniel from coming in, but Gunnar pulls the other announcer in the ring and grabs him with a front face lock. He looks set to deliver a DDT when Max hits him with a chop block from behind. He then drops an elbow and tries for a cover, but Gunnar kicks out before a count can start. Gunnar gets up and slams Max, before turning his attention back to Daniel. As he does, Max slides out of the ring. Gunnar takes Daniel who flails like a girl and slams him down with a vicious over the shoulder slam. He then heads up to the top rope and signals he is ready to end Daniel. As he does, a man in a Max mask pops out from under the ring and hops up onto the apron. He then shoves Gunnar off the top, flipping him over before he crashes into the mat on the way down. The man rolls back out of the ring before the real Max comes in. The crowd is on their feat as Max ascends to the second rope. He then screams out before flying down and crashing his fist into the face of Gunnar. He hooks the leg as the referee quickly counts one, two, three. Max rushes out of the ring, as the official returns a stunned Gunnar’s glare.
Mina: Here is your winner, Max Stockton! And Gunnar, do not forget your shoes.
Mina holds up a pair of elf shoes and tosses them into the ring. Gunnar looks irate as a team of security and several other wrestlers come out from the back to force him to out to fulfill the rest of his obligations. The show then cuts backstage.
We are backstage in the arena, outside Jason Bennett’s locker room. The door opens and Jason can be seen, getting ready for his match tonight. He is looking through his gym bag and retrieves his wrestling attire. He places it on the bench beside him and takes a deep breath. Jason begins pacing as Dan Murph enters his locker room, proudly carrying the WPW Championship over his shoulder. Dan barges past the cameraman and takes a seat on the bench opposite Jason as Jason stops pacing. Jason looks at Dan.
Dan: ...
Jason: What?
Dan: ...
Jason begins pacing again. Dan’s eyes track Jason as he paces.
Jason: So, did you want to talk strategy?
Dan: ...
Jason: Did you want to discuss how we can hurt OBG?
Dan: ...
Jason is getting frustrated as he stops pacing. Dan’s eyes lock onto his opponent tonight.
Jason: What the fuck do you wanna do?
Dan: ...
Jason smirks.
Jason: I know... You wanna discuss what we are going to do after I win the WPW Championship tonight. I think we should get the fuck outta here and head back to my mansion for a party.
Dan twitches, but still remains silent.
Jason: Well? I win the title tonight and you help me celebrate? How does that sound?
Dan stands up off the bench and steps towards Jason. The two men are face to face and Dan finally breaks his silence. Dan takes a deep breath. Before quickly grabbing Jason by the throat and throwing him back towards a locker.
Dan: Jason... You even think about crossing me tonight, and I'll break your fucking neck. Just like I will OBG.
Dan lets go, turns and walks away from Jason.
Jason: All because of some fucking dwarves? Jeez.
Jason turns to his gym bag and resumes pacing as we cut back to the arena.
Florida State Title Santa's Secret Match
Trent James vs T-Dog vs John Q Jersey vs Sal Karver vs Peter Paley
Sal Karver, John Q. Jersey, and T-Dog stand in the ring as they prepare for their next opponent to walk down the ramp. They all look toward the titantron as "Welcome Home" by Coheed and Cambria hits while Peter Paley walks down the ramp wearing a very noticeable bald cap as he struts down the ring while Jersey, T-Dog, and Karver are laughing their asses off. Paley now enters the ring making a belt signal around his waist to his three opponents. But the referee immediately walks up to Paley and removes his bald cap, revealing that he still has not shaven his head. The referee tells Paley that he is disqualified from the match as the frantic Paley starts yelling at everyone and then eventually gets out of the ring and walks up the ramp as his opponents sarcastically wave goodbye to him while they continue to laugh at him.
Peter Paley Eliminated.
As Paley finally walks back into the the curtains as "Voices" by Rev Theory hits and Trent James comes out with his Florida State title on his shoulder. He then gets to the rampway as he holds his title up in the air while he poses so people can take pictures and finally pretends to howl before he stops posing to walk to the ring. Back in the ring, his challengers roll their eyes at Trent, as they look almost embarrassed for him. Trent walks into the ring and poses one more time on the top of the turnbuckle before he gets off it and hands the belt to the referee. The ref holds the Florida State title up in the air, signaling that will be on the line as the bell rings.
*Ding Ding*
Each man staredown each other as they all are near their own corners. After a few moments, Jersey decides to start by running after T-Dog while Karver goes after Trent. But before Karver could get his hands on him, Trent quickly exits the ring and looks on from the sidelines. Karver shrugs his shoulders and decides to join in on the Jersey/T-Dog brawl. Karver sees T-Dog getting the upper hand on Jersey and decides to help the somewhat newcomer by hitting T-Dog from behind as now Karver and Jersey irish whip T-Dog to the turnbuckle. Karver tells Jersey something as he noda a yes to Sal as he now runs at T-Dog and connects with a turnbuckle clothesline. But Jersey is not finished, as he throw the weary T-Dog with another irish whip over to Sal as he delivers a dropkick, which send T-Dog to the floor. They then pick up T-Dog together and decide to hit him with a double suplex. They both get up and Karver offer Jersey a handshake, which he gladly accepts. Karver gives Jersey a grin and then turns around to go after T-Dog, but Jersey makes a quick decision by grabbing the leg of Karver and rolling him for a school boy while the ref makes the count, but only gets a two. Karver and Jersey get up at the same time as they both stare at each other while Sal gives Jersey a little grin but shakes his head while Jersey looks at him with disbelief.
Karver then runs at Jersey with a clothesline, bringing him down to the floor. But as soon as that happens, T-Dog, starts to get to his feet and sees the opening he has on Kaver, he seems to have some momentum building as he connects a bulldog on Sal. T-Dog then goes after Jersey, as he starts to get up on his knees, T-Dog runs at him with hits his face with a high knee, sending Jersey right back down to the floor. Trent continues to circle the ring, trying not to get close to any of his opponents, grinning at Sal who is trying to get up. T-Dog continues his assault on Jersey by picking him up and hitting two belly to belly suplexes, then his T Bone Suplex. T-Dog goes for the cover but only gets a two count. By this point Sal gets up and starts throwing blows at T-Dog until he gets to the ropes, that's when Sal irish whips him to the other side of the ring, where Trent is hanging out by. As T-Dog makes his way over to the other side, Trent decides to grab the leg of T-Dog and trips him. Trent back to where he was before, making it seem like he didn't do anything. Karver gives Trent a very nasty look, apparantly not approving what he did, but then goes over to T-Dog and drags him over to the center of the ring, he seems to be preparing to hit the SSK.
While T-Dog slowly gets up, Sal runs at him, but misses the SSK, as T-Dog, playing possum, ducks, quickly gets up, and gets a hold of Karver from behind, delivering three german suplexes in a row. T-Dog, feeling his second wind already, wants to try for a fourth, but Karver breaks the hold by elbowing the head of T-Dog. Karver and T-Dog then start throwing blows to each other once again, not realizing that behind them, Jersey is managing to get to the top of the turnbuckle and then takes both of them down with a flying Born to Run! The crowd cheers, along with Trent James who is sarcastically clappping, as Jersey gets up, feeling the momentum. But what he doesn't know is Trent is back in the ring and hits Jersey with a running Sleep Walking. He quickly rolls Jersey over for the pin. 1,2,3!
John Q. Jersey Eliminated.
The crowd boos heavily as Trent gets up showing off a grin as he now takes the advantage while his last two opponents are still on the ground. Trent tries to decide which one he wants to hurt first, so he walks over to Karver's body and picks him up and delivers multiple backbreakers. Trent lets go off Karver and lets him drop to the floor, as he is now goes after T-Dog and starts to kick the midsection while he screams in pain. After Trent finishes his beatdown of T-Dog he turns around to Sal only to find out thathe is now up and hits a clothesline to Trent. James gets up quickly though, but Sal runs at him again with another clothesline. But to the amaze of Karver, Trent gets right back up, Sal then runs at Trent and connects with a neckbreaker, hoping that will end it. Sal makes the cover, but gets a 2 and a half count. Karver seems fustrated as he walks over T-Dog to help him up to his feet. He tells something T-Dog and points at Trent on the ground, as they both begin to have the same sadistic look on their faces. They both walk over to Trent, but are still feeling the pain from their backs and midsections from earlier. They both grab Trent by the arms to lift him up, set him up, and connect with a double Impaler! T-Dog then makes the cover as Karver counts with the ref. 1, 2,3!!!!
Trent James Eliminated.
The crowd let's out a huge pop as the ref goes to check on Trent's lifeless body. T-Dog then pays his attention over to Karver, who's on the other side of the ring. Karver is favoring his back right now as T-Dog is holding his stomach in pain. Both men let go of their painful body parts and then go after each other as each men is blocking the punch the other is throwing at them until Karver finally delivers a kick to T-Dog's midsection. T-Dog drops to his knees as then Karver hits T-Dog once again with a kick to the head as he drops down to the ground. Karvers seems to have the upper hand on T-Dog as he now drags near the turnbuckle and climbs the top rope so he can hit The Spectacle. Karver flies off the turnbuckle in a moonsault like fashion, but misses due to T-Dog managing to roll out of the way, as Karver hits the mat while holding his abdomen.
T-Dog seems to have some energy left as he gets back up to his feet and running over to Karver, picking him up and preparing to hit The Truth Hurts. T-Dog is having trouble at the moment though, trying to hook the arms of Karver, but Karver manages to counter it with a big back drop. As T-Dog holds his back in pain, trying to get to his knees, Sal finds this as an opportunity to connect with the SSK, which he does. Sal makes the cover as the refs and drops. 1, 2, 3!!!!!!
T-Dog Eliminated.
Mina: Here is your winner and the NEEWW WPW Florida State Champion, SALLLL KAAAARRRRVERR!!!!
Amy White: Hello Everyone and Happy Holidays! Amy White here to talk to our WPW Pure Champion Justin.......
Amy looks around, not seeing anyone near her. She looks puzzled.
Amy White: Where did he go?
Justin Dreamer: Right here.
Amy jumps in fright as she turns around and sees Justin Dreamer standing very close behind with a sick grin. Amy sighs in relief.
Amy White: Oh Justin you scared me...Haven't got Halloween out of your system yet have you?
Amy giggles while Dreamer takes the grin off his face and gives her a dirty look. She starts to get nervous and stops giggling.
Amy White: Anyway...You have your first title defense of the Pure title in a few minutes, any thoughts on that?
JD: ...Thoughts? When it comes to this match I don't have to think about it much at all, it's a fatal four way match against three nobodies who want to make a name for themselves and they think they can take me down to do that. Well to be honest, there here only to job to me, because that's all they're worth and will ever be....jobbers.
Amy White: But Jermaine Dan.....
JD: Don't talk to me about that Jermaine kid, he's in the same group as thoughs other two. It doesn't matter where he's been, so I'm not intimidated by that, if he's a decent wrestler he thinks he is, he'll show it in that ring.
Amy White: Well thank you and I hope this Christmas day turns out great for you!
Dreamer turns his head slowly to Amy, as he starts to twitch a little bit.
JD: Christmas.....is nothing more than a hoax, hate to break to you. It's just that one night where everyone can pretend to enjoy life...before the big end. See, there will be an end soon, very soon actually. My journey has taken me from Judge to the Pure title to now and now, will happen this very night, "Christmas," a night no one will soon ever forget. Not because of a big red guy or a holy figure millions believe in....but because of me, because I'm Justin Dreamer...and it's going to be a bloody Christmas tonight.....
Dreamer turns away from Amy and looks over at the camera.
JD: The end is near? More like the the end is here tonight.............
Dreamer then turns away and leaves while Amy looks at the camera shaing her head.
Amy White: That guy is gonna get some coal tonight.............
At a local mall in North Pole, Alaska, there is a Santa greeting house smack dab in the middle of it. There is a long line of children, who are jumping for joy, with their parents at their side. The cameraman follows this long line until he gets to the house itself, as upon entering it, are two young and attractive girl elves winking at the cameraman. The cameraman then sees inside none other than the jolly man himself, Santa Clause! Beside him is Gunnar Brian, looking very bored with a Santa hat on, as he then starts to bring children in one at a time. Brian brings in a little girl to sit on Santa's hat.
HO HO HO! What's your name little girl?
Samantha!
HO HO! And what do you want for Christmas Samantha?
I want a barbie, a barbie malibu house, and a barbie barbie dress!
Gunnar whispers to himself.
I'd want some barbie barbwire so I can shut your mouth........
Santa hears this, then turns back to the girl with a jolly laugh.
Well, Santa will get that to you right away Samantha!
The girl runs off happy as ever as Santa turns back to stare at Gunnar. Talking in his normal voice.
Listen, you can't say that stuff near these kids!
Why not? Bout time they learned about barbwire and how you can choke from your own blood.
Just try to not to act psychopathic!
Gunnar gives Santa a sarcastic grin.
I'll try.......
The next child runs in, this time a little boy, and he immediately jumps on Santa's lap. Santa reverts to his jolly voice.
HO HO HO! And what's your name little boy?
Ryan!
HO HO! Well what do you want for Christmas Ryan?
The child gives Santa a puppy dog like face as Gunnar just rolls his eyes.
Santa, I don't want anything for Christmas, I'll I want is for Sophie Cassius to get better....
Gunnar starts to get a little peeved off by that remark as the child then realizes who Gunnar is, jumps off Santa's lap and kicks Gunnar in the shin, then runs out of the house. Santa reverts back to his normal voice once again.
....What did you do?.....
Something that needed to be done....that's all you need to know big boy......
Daniel: Next up, some people’s contender for match of the night.
Max: Yeah, some people in a mental home.
Daniel: Max, don’t be dismissive of a large part of our demographic.
Max: I thought it was just frustrated housewives, insomniacs and delinquent teenagers that watched us.
Daniel: Well………yeah……….them and Vince McMahon, judging by some of the angles that appear on WWE soon after we’ve used them here. Oh, here’s Mina.
WPW Pure Championship Match
Justin Dreamer vs Phill Bennett vs Jermaine Daniels vs Mark VanDizzle
Mina: This next match is for the Pure Wrestling title and is between………..
Mina is interrupted by the appearance on the big screen of a backstage commotion among the four wrestlers involved in the fight - Justin Dreamer, Mark VanDizzle, Phill Bennett and Jermaine Daniels. They are throwing each other into concession stands, slamming opponents into doors and aiming punches at unprotected heads. Current champion, Justin Dreamer grabs a bleeding Jermaine Daniels by the neck and marches him through the curtain and up the ramp into the ring. He floors him with a Dream Street (Styles Clash into Piledriver) and covers.
Referee Todd Franklin calls for the bell to start the match, gets to his knees and slams the mat…..
1.…………………………….........2.…………………………….....thr………..no !!!!!!!!!!
New guy Daniels gets a shoulder up just before Franklin’s hand hits the mat and Franklin bounces up to indicate a two count.
Dreamer bounces up and gets right in Franklin’s face to argue that it was clearly a three count but Franklin stands on his tiptoes to make his point that it was only two and that, though he may be shorter than Dreamer, he is slightly taller if he stands like this. Dreamer turns back into a Headscissors Takedown from Daniels who follows up with some forearms as Dreamer lies supine.
Daniel: Explosive start to this match. I thought it was going to finish right there with a Dream Street but rookie Daniels will want to prove that he is worth his place in a WPW ring.
Max: He sure looks built for the Pure style.
Daniel: I’m not even sure that we know what the Pure Style is yet. I guess we have to follow Dreamer’s lead in this.
Daniels goes for a Flip Mode Lionsault before Dreamer can recover but is a fraction too slow and Dreamer manages to roll away so that Daniels hits bare mat. Dreamer goes to the ropes for a breather, letting Daniels get to his hands and knees, but Dreamer hits him with a kick to the side of the head before he can fully get up. Dreamer hoists him into Piledriver position but Daniels wriggles and overbalances Dreamer. Daniels grabs a leg and asks for the count but Dreamer gets a shoulder up before Franklin can get in position.
Max: Both of these men have had interesting upbringings. Dreamer was briefly involved with the East La Latin Kings mob until they discovered that he wasn’t Hispanic.
Daniel: How did they ever find that out?
Max: The genealogical research division of The Latin Kings turned up some evidence of his Lutheran upbringing and German/Swiss grandfather. That plus his terrible sunburn whenever the temperature hit 75 degrees.
Daniel: And Daniels?
Max: Well, he’s black - of course he doesn’t sunburn easily.
Daniel: No, I meant, what about his upbringing?
Max: Well, it says in his biog that he’s a thug turned pro wrestler but I believe that he’s keeping his ‘Bronx Mathlete of the Year 2001’ prize secret.
Daniel: That’s because he stole it in a break-in in 2002.
Max: Oh.
Back at the wrestling, Daniels and Dreamer have resorted to a stand up fist fight before Daniels whips Dreamer to the ropes and back body drops him on the rebound. He goes for a follow up elbow drop but Dreamer avoids this and twists Daniels into a Just-A-Dreamer Tazzmission with leg scissors. Daniels grabs the rope but Dreamer keeps the hold on until threatened with disqualification by referee Todd Franklin.
Max: Dreamer might as well have been disqualified. He would have kept the title.
Daniel: Yes, but he wouldn’t have had the satisfaction of a victory and wouldn’t have proved his point that the likes of Daniels cannot hope to compete in a ring with himself.
Dreamer releases and uses the far rope for momentum to effect a baseball slide so that Daniels is pushed out of the ring. Daniels groggily gets to his feet on the outside but Dreamer yells in the middle of the ring before launching a Suicide Dive over the top rope. Both man sprawl against the fan railing but Daniels recovers first to club Dreamer several times then roll him back in the ring. He drops him with a Tiger Suplex then goes to the top turnbuckle for the Gunshot Massacre 450 Corkscrew Splash.
Dreamer shifts position in time and Daniels hits the mat.
Dreamer considers a Moonsault but seeing Daniels semiconscious, rolls him over and hooks a leg.
A bloodied Phill Bennett and Mark VanDizzle run from backstage and attempt to enter the ring to prevent the three count but get in each others way, Bennett drop toeholding VanDizzle onto the stairs. Franklin counts.
1.………………………2.……………………..3!!
Ding Ding
Mina: Your winner, and STILL the Pure Championship Title Holder…………Justiiiiiiiiiiiiiin Dreamerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daniel: There you have it - four men in the match but only two made it to the ring. But what entertainment they gave us to go with our Christmas lunch. Max?
Max: Great work from the new guy but Dreamer is a man with a mission - a mission to keep WPW pure.
Daniel: With absolutely no eugenic implications behind that statement.
Max: None whatsoever, even if I had the faintest idea what that meant.
Judge is seen backstage talking on a cell phone. He appears to be deeply engaged in the conversation when Scorch appears in the room. Judge assures him he is ready for the match, but Scorch stays put. Judge again tries to shoo him away but Scorch stands nervously. He then drops a letter on Judge's lap, and stands, his eyes unable to focus. Judge opens the letter and reads, a look of shock coming over his face. He quickly ends the call and looks at Scorch as if to ask if it is some kind of joke. The scene cuts away before Scorch can respond. A voice on the other end of the phone asks: "Paul? Paul what is....are you still...Paul...?"
WPW Tag Team Title Match
Judge & Scorch vs Blade & Jokester
Max: Well here we go, time for some awesome tag team action, championship style!
Daniel: This is a rematch from last week, and quite frankly the only reason Jokester and Blade got this tag title shot is because they lost past the time limit.
Max: Well let's be fair, Daniel. Blade insisted on fighting the majority of the match himself, and when he did get the tag the ref didn't see it. You can't very well win a tag team match if you don't get your partner involved especially against the likes of Scorch and Judge.
Daniel: Make excuses all you want, the bottom line is these guys lost last week and they still get a tag title shot and I don't know if I agree with it.
Max: Well Judge has said before in the past that Jokester gives him the most trouble out of anyone on the roster, you don't think it could be...
"What I've Done" blasts through the arena as Mike Adams comes out through the curtain dressed in a horrendous Christmas sweater. As he is smiling and has several presents and envelopes with him. He hands out presents to the little children at ringside and hands two envelopes to Max and Daniel and takes a seat next to them with headphones on.
Adams: Merry Christmas boys!
Max and Daniel open their envelopes to see Christmas cards with checks inside.
Adams: Enjoy your bonuses boys, you deserve it.
Max: Thanks a lot boss, and thanks for the help earlier.
Adams: Don't know what you're talking about Max, congrats on your first win.
Daniel: So what brings you out here anyway? And what's with the crappy sweater?
Adams: Well as to the sweater, I love it. Jess' grandmother made it for me.
Max: Say no more.
Adams: Heh heh, anyway, well I just wanted to come out and see this match firsthand. I always like watching whatever Jokester has planned for holiday shows like this one. Thank God he funds it himself.
Daniel: So you have no idea what is going to happen right now?
Adams: Nope, Blade was dying to tell me, but I told him to let me be as surprised as the rest of the fans.
"Jingle Bells" can be heard over the loudspeaker as several scantily clad women dressed in Mrs. Claus outfits come prancing to the ring giving candy canes to little children.
Max: Not sure if I'd eat those candy canes there kiddies.
Daniel: Yes, you don't really want to know where Jokester got those women.
The women line up all around ringside and point to the entrance way as the song changes to "Santa Claus is Coming To Town" as Craig Sinders comes walking out with a rein in his mouth and a large plastic red nose on, flanked by Connie and Tina dressed as the largest reindeers you've ever seen as they are all pulling a sleigh with Jokester dressed as Santa Claus and Blade dressed as an elf inside the sleigh throwing out t-shirts and what appear to be condoms out to the crowd.
Adams: Oye...Jokester did stress he wanted everyone to have a safe holiday season.
Daniel: Is Blade really dressed as an elf?
Max: He's wearing fake ears....and are those bells on his curl toed shoes?
Adams: Yes, I'm afraid they are. Well he never ceases to amaze me.
Jokester and Blade both uses the back of the Beedeers as steps into the ring as it appears they are not going to remove their costumes for the start of the match. Jokester gives Mina a huge hug and "accidentally" gropes her as he points to the stage as if to silently introduce the tag team champions.
Daniel: Well I guess Mina's in too much of a shock to introduce the tag champs.
"I Hear Them Calling" echoes through the arena silencing the crowd as the champions come out looking disgusted as the display in front of them. Judge and Scorch try to step over the sleigh, which has a huge bag of toys in the back of it, until they realize it's easier to step around the display.
Max: This entrance is nice for our fans, but it's probably just going to anger the champions.
Adams: I can't help but to agree, these guys have never had the greatest sense of humor.
Daniel: So any predictions for this match boss?
Adams: Well the champs have been pretty dominant but it's Christmas, it's the time for miracles.
Max: Did you just quote Die Hard?
Adams: It's the greatest Christmas movie of all time, of course I did.
Jokester points to the stage as Judge's musci is cut off and we hear Tay Zonday singing a new song with a familiar tune.
"You are mean ones, Judge and Scorch.
You really are the heels!"
Judge and Scorch look around as people are now singing along with the song only replacing Grinch for Judge and Scorch and cover their ears. Jokester and Blade are laughing a bit as the champions enter the ring. The ref takes the belts as the music stops and both Judge and Scorch go to attack the challengers. Scorch sends Blade careening over the top rope as Jokester gets backed into a turnbuckle by Judge. Judge delivers a few shots to the gut as Jokester stands there and laughs, it only take a few punches to realize Jokester's belly is stuffed and he doesn't feel a thing, but as soon as he realizes Jokester boxes the ears of Judge. Judge backs away but Scorch delivers a running knee to the face of Jokester. The referee is trying to get one of the champions out of the ring until Blade comes back in and chop blocks Judge from behind. The ref is clearly losing control as Blade pulls Scorch off of Jokester as both challengers Irish whip Scorch into the opposite turnbuckle. The ref is now trying to get one of the challengers out but no one is listening to the referee's instructions.
Daniel: Wow, I thought we had better refs than this.
Max: He needs to get some order here!
Adams: Or.....
Adams stands up at the announce table with a house mike in his hands.
Adams: You know what, clearly this ref is not doing his job properly, these guys have a little too much bad blood between them, so let's make this a Texas Tornado match! Merry Christmas fans!
Judge gazes at Adams very briefly as Adams flashes a grin before Blade drops an elbow on the back of Judge's neck. Blade then locks on a headlock as Scorch blocks a right from Jokester and connects with one of his own and tries kneeing Jokester in the gut but to no avail. Jokester grins again as Scorch then hits a drop kick to the face of Jokester. Scorch then gets back up quickly and tosses Jokester over the top rope as he lands on his own sleigh with a thud. Scorch then goes over to pull Blade off of Judge. Judge elbows Blade in the gut and steps on his elf shoe. Scorch and Judge now double team Blade and double suplex him. Scorch goes for a cover but only gets a two count. Judge grabs the leg of Blade and hooks him in the single leg crab. Blade is trying to fight for the corner but Scorch then grabs his arms and drives his face into the mat with his knee. The ref is asking Blade if he wants to quit when all of a sudden a giant candy cane smacks Scorch upside the head. Jokester then bashes the candy cane right on top of Judge's head to release the hold. The ref goes to ring the bell.
Daniel: Now wait a minute! How stupid was that?! This is for the tag team championships!
Max: Maybe Jokester thought the health of his protege was more important than the titles!
Adams: Well that has to be it! Clearly such selfless un-Scroogelike actions can't be punished at Christmas time!
Adams stands up again.
Adams: Excuse me Mr. referee, since this is the giving season I'm feeling especially generous today and I want to now make this match, no disqualifications and no count outs! Have a Kwazy Kwanzaa everyone!!
Jokester grins again and drags Judge to the turnbuckle and reaches into his Santa suit to pull out handcuffs. Jokester laughs like Santa and he handcuffs Judge to the ringpost. Judge comes to right after the handcuffs are snatched on as he realizes what Jokester has done. Jokester laughs again and reaches into his suit once more and pulls out a key on a chain and puts it around his neck. He taunts Judge with it by standing just beyond arms length. Judge looks furious as Jokester turns around and helps Blade to his feet, making sure he's ok. Blade nods As Jokester goes to pick up Scorch, Scorch nails Jokester with a low blow.
Daniel: His chestnuts just got scorched!
Max: Did you have to interject with that?
Adams: Clearly he did.
Scorch then slams Jokester to the mat and locks up with Blade. He Irish whips Blade to the ropes and sends him down with a big clothesline, but then Jokester gets back up and Scorch knocks him down with one too. Scorch then notices Judge handcuffed to the post, he runs to the post to try and break the handcuffs by stomping and pulling on them. Judge points to Jokester's neck as Scorch turns his attention on the challenger again. Scorch runs and nails a stiff knee to Blade as he's trying to get up but Blade catches it and Jokester boots Scorch in the face at the same time. Blade immediately goes for a jackknife pin as Scorch hit the mat but Scorch gets out at two. Blade then covers again and Jokester jumps on at the same time but Scorch grabs the rope. Blade then pulls Scorch up and holds him for Jokester. Jokester reaches into his suit again and pulls out his famous joy buzzer. Jokester attaches it so the joy part is on the outside. Jokester then hits a few rights to the face of Scorch, and as he winds up for the Joygasm punch (made up name) Scorch ducks and Blade takes the joy buzzers right to the forehead shocking him sending him stumbling through the middle ropes. Jokester looks in shock as Scorch quick snaps behind Jokester and crushes him with a huge German suplex. Scorch then reaches down and grabs the key from around Jokester's neck.
Adams: Wow, quite a showing here from Scorch somehow he's able to fight off both guys.
Daniel: Well I don't think it's too shocking Blade made a mistake like that.
Max: I swear to God, I wish you'd stop with the puns.
Daniel: Awww come on Max, you know I got your back so get off mine.
Adams: Guys focus, it looks like Scorch has the key to unlock Judge and make this a tag affair again.
Scorch runs over to his partner and tries to unlock the cuffs. Blade is staggering towards the sleigh by where Judge got handcuffed but it doesn't look like he's going to make it as Jokester has gone outside the ring. Judge is screaming for Scorch to hurry, but it seems there's something wrong. Scorch tries both locks again but the handcuffs don't seem to be opening. All of a sudden Judge's screams to his partner are cut off by Jokester on Mina's microphone.
Jokester: Oh Scorchiepoo, don't you think it'd be a little stupid of me to bring out the keys for the same set of handcuffs I brought out?
Scorch looks stunned and turns towards Jokester as Judge looks puzzled as well.
Adams: Wow, what a move. Jokester brought fake keys for real handcuffs.
Daniel: Wow, maybe that was the final trick Blade was planning...
Max: Do you think Blade really came up with that?
Jokester: Yes, Blade was watching Robin Hood: Men in tights and the idea just came to him. Now if you'll kindly turn around I believe you'll see your titles slipping from your grasp!
Scorch turns around but instantly Blade rams his head cover ed with the reindeer antler helmet into Scorch's gut.
Max: Scorch just got run over by a Bladedeer!
Blade grabs Scorch and lifts him up for his gut wrench powerbomb but holds Scorch in the air. Jokester attempts to leap to the apron but Judge grabs him and pulls him down, the two men begin to fight on the outside, as Blade brings the bomb down, Scorch grabs Blades arm as Blade makes the cover and gets him in an armbar, the referee begins to count
1...............2.........................3!!!!!!! !!!!
As the referee's hand hits the mat for the three, Blade begins to tap at the exact same moment. The referee rings the bell, but then realises he's not actually sure who has won the match.
Daniel: New Tag Team Champions! They did it, the Bad Dream Team did it!
Max: No way, the Tag Team Champions Judge and Scorch, the team that really needs a name, have retained!
Daniel: What are you talking about? Blade pinned Scorch clean in the middle of the ring.
Max: It happened after Scorch made Blade tap out.
Daniel: How did he do that with his hands cuffed together?
Max: He is a very resourceful man.
Daniel: Let us let Mina handle this one.
Mina: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have just been informed that it appears Blade tapped out at the same time the three count was made on Scorch, as a result this match is being held up pending further review.
Max: Wow, what a huge move.
Daniel: Held up pending further review, what could that mean?
We're back at the local mall in Santa's Greeting house, as Santa is finishing taking a couple of pictures with a few kids while Gunnar Brian continues to bang his head on the wall out of fustration. As the kids leave the house, Santa turns to Gunnar, using his normal voice.
You know, you can at least try to feel Christmas Spirit...
Gunnar stops banging his head and walk towards Santa.
Listen, I don't want to be here, I dont want to wear this ridiculous hat, and I don't have any "chrismas spirit!"
Shh! Another kid is coming
Another boy walks into the small house as Santa starts speaking in his jolly voice again.
HO HO HO! What's your name little boy?
David!
HO HO David! And what do you want for Christmas?
The child turns over to give a glare at Gunnar Brian.
I want Gunnar Brian out of wrestling! Because he's a very bad man!
Gunnar Brian suddenly snaps as walks over to the little boy.
OK THAT'S IT! I'm done with this shit! Listen, little boy, this guy right here...he's not who you think he is....
Santa then suddenly takes the kid off his knee and confronts Gunnar face to face.
OH OH HOLD ON THERE BUDDY! Don't make Santa have to put a jolly ol' candy cane up your behind!
Gunnar smirks as he cracks his neck, shuckles for a moment. Then suddenly starts pummeling Santa with lefts and rights until he gets to the wall of the room, where Gunnar pushes him through, breaking it! Santa falls to the mall floor on top of shattered wall pieces as children circle around Santa and start to cry.
Gunnar, on the other hand is looking down at Santa from the still standing greeting room, giving sadistic grin as he takes off his Santa hat and throws on the lifeless body of Santa.
Ho....Ho.....Ho to you Santa......
A ladder stands in the middle of the ring, another at the top of the ramp way, and four more surround the ring as the crowd starts to buzz about the start of the WPW Championship match.
WPW World Title Ladder Match
Dan Murph vs OBG vs Jason Bennett
Daniel: Ladies and gents, it's now time for the main event of the evening!
Max: Me beating the hell out of Gunnar Brian wasn't the main event?
Daniel: Having three matches since then really didn't give that away?
Max: ...We've had more matches since?
Daniel: Unnnnnbelievable!
Max: Thank you, I trained really hard.
Mina: The following contenst is your main event and is a Ladder Match for the WPW World Heavyweight Championship!!
OBG is the first one out, and within a few seconds he locks his eyes on the Title, and the Ladder directly below it. He walks up towards the ring, with the crowd in attendance cheering him on. He steps into the ring, and stands near the ladder. OBG grabs the ladder, and looks up, as though he's about to start climbing, but as he puts a foot on the bottom rung of the ladder, Jason Bennett's music hits, and he bursts through the curtain, pointing towards OBG as he walks at spend down the ramp. Jason quickly gets into the ring, as both men fight between themselves to try and get up the ladder, which prompts Dan Murph's music to start playing, and the WPW Champion practically sprints down the ramp towards the ring. Jason and OBG are fighting amongst themselves, Jason pushes OBG away, and begins slowly climbing the ladder, being careful to make sure he doesn't slip. OBG gets on the other side of the ladder, as the WPW Champion somehow manages to get on the same side as Jason. All three men are climbing up the ladder towards the title which is hanging from above.
All three men get towards the top of the ladder, both Dan and Jason reach towards the title at the same time. They both stop, and look at eachother, before beginning to fight amongst themselves near the top of the ladder, both men wanting to grab the title and leave as the WPW Champion. OBG quietly makes his way further up the ladder, eager to make sure he doesn't catch the attention of Dan or Jason, also making sure he doesn't tip the ladder over, as it's carrying an awful lot of weight. OBG gets towards the very top of the ladder, as Dan and Jason are still trading blows on the other side. OBG reaches up, and as he does so Dan manages to see him, as does Jason, and they both begin to punch OBG. OBG tries to fight back, but it's not long before the two men are too much for him. OBG begins to fall down the ladder, one rung at a time. Jason and Dan both also get off the ladder, deciding to beat on OBG for a while before they concentrate on trying to retrieve the title.
Dan throws OBG out of the ring, and both Dan and Jason follow him. OBG looks dazed, and as soon as he turns around Dan Murph is there to level him with a hard right hand to the face, OBG staggers straight into Jason, who also hits him straight in the face with a closed fist. OBG falls to the ground. Jason walks past OBG, past a ladder standing nearby, and now Dan and Jason are on either side of OBG, measuring him up for when he gets to his feet, which he is doing, incredibly slowly. OBG grabs onto a crowd barrier, as the crowd begin cheering him on, he uses the barrier to pull himself to his feet. He slowly moves back from the crowd barrier, and turns around, to see two, big, angry men flying towards him, both in an attempt to clothesline him. OBG thinks quickly, ducks the two men, runs up the ladder, and when Dan and Jason turn around, they're greeted by OBG flying off the ladder and taking them both out with a huge cross body to the crowds delight, now all three men are out on the floor outside the ring.
Once the three men slowly make their way to the ring, Dan and Jason again try to sandwich OBG, but again the man fighting to take the WPW Championship away from the men aiming to kill WPW ducks, and Dan and Jason slam head first into eachother, giving OBG chance to take advantage. He slowly crawls over to the ring, and pulls himself up onto the ring apron with the help of the bottom rope and makes his way into the ring, with Dan and Jason still both trying to clear the cobwebs and make their way up. This is OBG's biggest chance to become the WPW Champion, the fans are cheering him on all the way, he gets into the ring, and begins to climb up the ladder. The fans begin to cheer him on even louder, chanting his name over and over again as he slowly makes his way up the ladder, but soon Jason Bennett is able to get back into the ring, and goes after OBG.
Jason grabs OBG's leg, and the two men begin to fight, with Jason actually climbing up the ladder a bit behind OBG to try and stop him from climbing. The two men continue to fight, with Jason grabbing OBG, trying to bring him back down to the ring, and OBG kicking Jason away, before continuing to crawl his way up the ladder. The WPW Champion is now up, and he slowly makes his way towards the ring, still looking a little worse for ware. Jason and OBG continue to battle on the ladder, with both men now nearing the top, as Dan makes his way into the ring, OBG kicks Jason off of him, Jason falls down to the mat and rolls under the bottom rope. OBG is right near the top of the ladder, as the WPW Title swings past his face, he is so close he can almost literally touch it, but the WPW Champion begins to approach the ladder, looking as though he's ready to push the ladder and any dreams OBG has of becoming the WPW Champion away with it.
OBG looks up at the gold, before looking down at Dan, he literally has just a couple of seconds to decide what to do. The fans are cheering him on, hoping, praying that he can pull down the championship and walk into 2010 as the WPW World Heavyweight Championship. OBG takes one more quick look up at the championship, takes a deep breath, and then dives down towards the WPW Champion!
Daniel: OH MY GOD!!!
Max: No! He's gonna take out the Champion!!!!
OBG lands a cross body on the Champion, but Dan manages to catch him and hold on. OBG tries to riggle free, but he can't. Dan hoists OBG onto his shoulders, and then Cyclones him over the top rope and onto the floor. The crowd begin to boo, as Dan immediately walks up to the ladder, and begins climbing, one rung after another, there is no one there to stop him. Dan gets to the top of the ladder, grabs onto the championship to stop it moving around in mid air, and slowly takes it down from the hook hanging from the ceiling, retaining the WPW World Heavyweight Championship.
Mina: The winner of this match, and STILL The WPW World Heavyweight Champion....DAAAAANNNN MURRRRPHHHHH!!!!!!
Daniel: Damnit! I don't believe it! That son of a bitch has retained the WPW Championship here tonight!!
Max: Woah, some mouth you got on you there Danno, he won this match fair and square!
Daniel: Fair and square? This match was never fair are square! This was only ever a gloryfied handicap match to ensure that Dan Murph would work out as the WPW Champion.
Dan holds the title above his head as the crowd boo, Jason is up on the outside, he holds his head, and looks up at Dan for a second, before he begins to walk around the ring, towards OBG who is lying there, motionless. Dan see's what Jason is doing, and begins to climb down the ladder. Jason grabs OBG, and lifts him up, throwing him under the bottom rope and into the ring. Dan grabs OBG, as Jason gets into the ring. He lifts OBG up, and spits in his face, before lifting him up on his shoulders again, going for another Cyclone. The crowd boo louder and louder, Dan nails the Cyclone on OBG. The crowd boo, but Dan doesn't care, he picks him up again, OBG by this point is dead weight, and he goes for another Cyclone...
T-dog begins to run down the ramp, he slides into the ring and begins fighting with Jason Bennett. Dan puts OBG down on the mat, and T-dog begins to fight off both men, somehow holding his own against the Champion and his run-in buddy. T-dog drops Jason with a drop kick, and does the same to Dan. Jason falls out of the ring, but Dan gets straight back up, T-dog goes for another, but Dan just brushes him off and T-dog falls flat on his face in the middle of the ring. Dan quickly grabs T-dog by the back of the head, and lifts him up, going for another Cyclone.
But before he can, the crowd erupt as a hooded man runs down the ramp towards the ring holding a steel chair in his hand. Dan throws down T-dog, and tells the hooded man to bring it on. The man slides into the ring under the bottom rope, and goes face to face with Dan, but we cannot see who this is. Dan tells him to hit him, he moves back, winds up the chair...
Slams the chair over the head of T-dog, who is now checking on the motionless OBG.
Daniel: What the hell was that?
Max: Woah! I thought he came out here to help out T-dog and OBG!
Daniel: So did I! Could this possibly be the Apocalypse Dan Murph has been talking about?
Max: I'm scared, Danno!
Daniel: I know you are, Max. But please...let go of my leg.
Max: Sorry.
Dan nods approvingly, before picking up T-dog, and holding him for the hooded man. Jason gets back into the ring, turns OBG over, and begins delivering hard rights and lefts, while the hooded man drives the chair straight into the abdomen of T-dog. He drops the chair, before grabbing T-dog, lifting him up into a stylesclash position, and then delivering a huge piledriver onto the steel chair!
Daniel: Oh my god!
Max: Yeah, that was brutal!
Daniel: Indeed it was...but I know that move.
Max: Well so do I, I just saw it...
Daniel: No, I mean I know who's move that is...
Max: Oh...
Dan and the hooded man walk over towards the ropes, quickly followed by Jason. The camera zooms in on the three men, as the man pulls down his hood to reveal...
Daniel: Oh no, I was right, it's...
Max: JUSTIN DREAMER?!?!?!?!?!?
The crowd boo as the show ends, with the camera focused on The Apocalypse.