Snowman
02-05-2009, 02:09 AM
This week's Live started off a little weird, to say the least. I got to the arena and there was some guy waiting for me at the door who went by the name of "Ethan Frost... No, wait! I mean Jack... Yeah, that's it... Jack!". The guy gave me a folder filled with rather shocking pictures of one of WPW's biggest stars and, even though I find it hard to believe that they aren't fake, It's an exclusive story so I had to share it.
These pics seems to show that none other than the asshole off MTV, Ashton Kutcher, is apparantly legendary WPW superstar El Pollo. Like I said, I dunno if this is fact or fiction but one thing is for sure: The guy who handed me these pics must have really wanted El Pollo's street cred to take a hit.
WPW Tuesday Night
Live!
February 3rd, 2009
Freebird
Jacksonville Beach, FL
Christopher Asmodeus v Beno
With this match being only the second of the somewhat unfortunately named Christopher Asmodeus and also a chance for Beno to make up for recent losses, both men were looking to come away from the match with a clear victory. Sadly for them, the match was a little bit closer than that. The match started out with Beno being sort of afriad to touch his opponent, and who'd blame him? Beno kept asking the referree if "it was safe?" but ref Todd Franklin kept assuring him that it was indeed okay to touch the monster and not catch anything. After Beno overcame his rational fear, the match was underway with most of the action balancing back and forth until Asmodeus dodged a clothesline at one point and quickly turned around to face Beno, which shocked him greatly. Terrified by the sight infront of him, Beno was frozen in his spot which allowed Christopher to deliver a HellFire Chokeslam (described by his brother as an "Ultimate Chokeslam", which apparantly involves a little sneaky rear groping). The North Korean-born Asmodeus covered Beno to get his second win after moveing here to the nicey nice pleasantland of USAVille Americaworld.
Blake Baker v James Moriarty Cassius
Perhaps with the morale support of his sister at ringside, Blake could have caused a huge upset here but sadly for him the hype that follows JMC around is there for a reason and the former WPW champion proved too much for young Blake alone. That being said, this match was an impressive one with Blake putting up quite a challenge against Cassius, but slipping up enough times for James to take advantage of a few school boy errors and get the advantage on several occasions. Blake even looked as though he might be able to pick up a win after he delivered a Blake Breaker (Carlito's Back Cracker) but loose pin attempt made it easier for JMC to roll out and buy some time before making a quick comeback and catching Blake in the Cassius Sharpshooter. Cassius dragged Baker to the middle of the ring to make sure an escape would not be easy and after a few failed attempts to break free from the hold, Blake couldn't take the pain anymore and had no choice but to tap out.
Van Risen v Brock Goodman
This match was fairly one sided throughout, in the favour of Van Risen, but Brock gave a few mean looks to referee Todd Franklin, so it wasn't total dominaton. Van started out by working on Goodman's back early on in the match which paid off as it slowed ex-murder down quite a bit for the rest of the fight. With most of his attacks focusing on Brock's back, Risen hit an array of various suplexes to weaken him down and hopefully remove any energy that would allow him to kick out or submit. Luckily for Van, his tactics paid off as Brock was rarely able to get a punch in to break the constant attacks which meant it was downhill for Brock from the starting bell. It was all over when Risen threw a right boot in the the gut of Goodman and quickly excecuted a devistating Tiger Driver like move, "He Is Risen" (pedigree piledriver), before covering Brock and getting the 1 2 3.
Frank 'The American Ninja' v El Pollo
This match... Well.... This match never really happened. Frank came out to greet El Pollo with a great big hug, and then pointed up to the ramp where two midgets (dressed as Frank and El Pollo) entered. Frank then explained that he could never fight the cock that saved him from jail time, to which El Pollo turned to sky and cried "I WILL NOT FIGHT MY BROTHER!!!". Frank then continued to suggest that the match should be settled through the medium of midgets... And so it was! Lil' Frank and Micro Cock went at it like crazy, put on one hell of a show. It really was incredible, I didn't even know a cock that small could cause that much damage! But what really mattered was the outcome of the match, and the might of Micro Cock was not enough to contest with the sneaky sneakyness of Lil' Frank. Lil' Frank managed to roll up the little cock in to a tiny little package and get the three count, earning big Frank the win over his friend and still soccer practice partner, El Pollo. The two celebrated in the ring with a good old dance before making their way up the ramp.
Non-Title Match
Sudden Impact(c) v N-815 & Pepsi™ Man
This match was pretty one sided, and from an un-suspected side aswell. The new team of N-815 and Pepsi™Man seemed to catch Sudden Impact out with each and every move, surprising the tag champs at every turn. In fact, the match was headed towards a loss for SI pretty smoothly until Pepsi™ accidently charged in to ref Todd Franklin. Despite having Cage ready to be pinned, Pepsi™ lost control of the situation when, out of no where, Adams slid in to the ring with a steel chair and took out N-815 with a cold, hard shot to the head. Pepsi™ sprinted at Adams as Mike turned around, Pepsi™ collided head on with the chair, knocking himself out. Adams tried to help Cage to his feet and it looked as though Sudden Impact might steal a win until none other than El Pollo and Frank the American Ninja sprinted down the ramp to save the day. El Pollo took a rising Cage down with a spear while Frank ducked a chair shot from Mike and knocked him out by dropkicking the metal back in to Adams' face. Time came to call for the bell when Frank pulled Pepsi™ on to Cage and EP helped Todd Franklin to his feet, allowing him to make the three count.
After the match was over and the clutter that is Mike Adams and Chris Cage were cleared from the ring by that guy who brushes the mat at house shows with a big broom, the show went on a final little spot which was pretty cool. As Mina announced the winners of the match, El Pollo, Frank, Pepsi™Man and N-815 stood tall in the center of the ring holding each others arms in the air in victory, much to the delight of the crowd.
Quick Results
Chris Something def. Beno
JMC def. Blake Baker (via Submission)
Van Risen def. Brock Goodman
Frank def. El Pollo (via Midgets)
N-815 & Pepsi™ Man def. Sudden Impact
These pics seems to show that none other than the asshole off MTV, Ashton Kutcher, is apparantly legendary WPW superstar El Pollo. Like I said, I dunno if this is fact or fiction but one thing is for sure: The guy who handed me these pics must have really wanted El Pollo's street cred to take a hit.
WPW Tuesday Night
Live!
February 3rd, 2009
Freebird
Jacksonville Beach, FL
Christopher Asmodeus v Beno
With this match being only the second of the somewhat unfortunately named Christopher Asmodeus and also a chance for Beno to make up for recent losses, both men were looking to come away from the match with a clear victory. Sadly for them, the match was a little bit closer than that. The match started out with Beno being sort of afriad to touch his opponent, and who'd blame him? Beno kept asking the referree if "it was safe?" but ref Todd Franklin kept assuring him that it was indeed okay to touch the monster and not catch anything. After Beno overcame his rational fear, the match was underway with most of the action balancing back and forth until Asmodeus dodged a clothesline at one point and quickly turned around to face Beno, which shocked him greatly. Terrified by the sight infront of him, Beno was frozen in his spot which allowed Christopher to deliver a HellFire Chokeslam (described by his brother as an "Ultimate Chokeslam", which apparantly involves a little sneaky rear groping). The North Korean-born Asmodeus covered Beno to get his second win after moveing here to the nicey nice pleasantland of USAVille Americaworld.
Blake Baker v James Moriarty Cassius
Perhaps with the morale support of his sister at ringside, Blake could have caused a huge upset here but sadly for him the hype that follows JMC around is there for a reason and the former WPW champion proved too much for young Blake alone. That being said, this match was an impressive one with Blake putting up quite a challenge against Cassius, but slipping up enough times for James to take advantage of a few school boy errors and get the advantage on several occasions. Blake even looked as though he might be able to pick up a win after he delivered a Blake Breaker (Carlito's Back Cracker) but loose pin attempt made it easier for JMC to roll out and buy some time before making a quick comeback and catching Blake in the Cassius Sharpshooter. Cassius dragged Baker to the middle of the ring to make sure an escape would not be easy and after a few failed attempts to break free from the hold, Blake couldn't take the pain anymore and had no choice but to tap out.
Van Risen v Brock Goodman
This match was fairly one sided throughout, in the favour of Van Risen, but Brock gave a few mean looks to referee Todd Franklin, so it wasn't total dominaton. Van started out by working on Goodman's back early on in the match which paid off as it slowed ex-murder down quite a bit for the rest of the fight. With most of his attacks focusing on Brock's back, Risen hit an array of various suplexes to weaken him down and hopefully remove any energy that would allow him to kick out or submit. Luckily for Van, his tactics paid off as Brock was rarely able to get a punch in to break the constant attacks which meant it was downhill for Brock from the starting bell. It was all over when Risen threw a right boot in the the gut of Goodman and quickly excecuted a devistating Tiger Driver like move, "He Is Risen" (pedigree piledriver), before covering Brock and getting the 1 2 3.
Frank 'The American Ninja' v El Pollo
This match... Well.... This match never really happened. Frank came out to greet El Pollo with a great big hug, and then pointed up to the ramp where two midgets (dressed as Frank and El Pollo) entered. Frank then explained that he could never fight the cock that saved him from jail time, to which El Pollo turned to sky and cried "I WILL NOT FIGHT MY BROTHER!!!". Frank then continued to suggest that the match should be settled through the medium of midgets... And so it was! Lil' Frank and Micro Cock went at it like crazy, put on one hell of a show. It really was incredible, I didn't even know a cock that small could cause that much damage! But what really mattered was the outcome of the match, and the might of Micro Cock was not enough to contest with the sneaky sneakyness of Lil' Frank. Lil' Frank managed to roll up the little cock in to a tiny little package and get the three count, earning big Frank the win over his friend and still soccer practice partner, El Pollo. The two celebrated in the ring with a good old dance before making their way up the ramp.
Non-Title Match
Sudden Impact(c) v N-815 & Pepsi™ Man
This match was pretty one sided, and from an un-suspected side aswell. The new team of N-815 and Pepsi™Man seemed to catch Sudden Impact out with each and every move, surprising the tag champs at every turn. In fact, the match was headed towards a loss for SI pretty smoothly until Pepsi™ accidently charged in to ref Todd Franklin. Despite having Cage ready to be pinned, Pepsi™ lost control of the situation when, out of no where, Adams slid in to the ring with a steel chair and took out N-815 with a cold, hard shot to the head. Pepsi™ sprinted at Adams as Mike turned around, Pepsi™ collided head on with the chair, knocking himself out. Adams tried to help Cage to his feet and it looked as though Sudden Impact might steal a win until none other than El Pollo and Frank the American Ninja sprinted down the ramp to save the day. El Pollo took a rising Cage down with a spear while Frank ducked a chair shot from Mike and knocked him out by dropkicking the metal back in to Adams' face. Time came to call for the bell when Frank pulled Pepsi™ on to Cage and EP helped Todd Franklin to his feet, allowing him to make the three count.
After the match was over and the clutter that is Mike Adams and Chris Cage were cleared from the ring by that guy who brushes the mat at house shows with a big broom, the show went on a final little spot which was pretty cool. As Mina announced the winners of the match, El Pollo, Frank, Pepsi™Man and N-815 stood tall in the center of the ring holding each others arms in the air in victory, much to the delight of the crowd.
Quick Results
Chris Something def. Beno
JMC def. Blake Baker (via Submission)
Van Risen def. Brock Goodman
Frank def. El Pollo (via Midgets)
N-815 & Pepsi™ Man def. Sudden Impact