APostingGod
09-18-2008, 01:33 AM
Todd Franklin: Look, are you sure that’s gonna be enough? We can’t have him running around like he usually does. We need him………….mellow.
Guy in Big Game Hunter gear: Sir, I’ve been doing this sort of thing for 27 years. You need a rhino sedated to have its toenails clipped? – I’m your man. You want a rabid grizzly to dance Swan Lake? I can do that. This is child’s play.
Todd: Quick. Here he comes.
Game hunter pulls out a 12 bore shotgun and loads 2 cartridges labeled ‘Ketamine triple strength’. They hide behind a locker.
Killing Joke emerges from the shower area, a towel thankfully covering his lower half. We see a tattoo on his back - a smiley face with a knife sticking in the skull. He sees a $100 bill under a fake dog turd. He bends over and his towel drops, exposing a wide expanse of hairy ass. Game hunter lets blast with the shotgun and, after the smoke clears, we see KJ standing up again, two red marks on his ass cheeks.
Killing Joke: Oooooh. That smarts. Still, I’ve had worse.
He keels over and Todd Franklin comes over with a huge syringe labeled 100% pure cannabis oil.
Todd: Now for the kicker.
He injects KJ into a handy vein on the arm and KJ’s unconscious frown turns upside down.
Todd: Now we’re ready. Let’s get this show on the road.
WPW Hall of Fame 2008
Fireworks shoot from the rafters and confetti shoots onto the fans, as they erupt in excitement for the very special show. The camera pans around the ring and the fans, then focusing on the two commentators, Daniel and Max.
Daniel: Here we are Max! The first ever WPW Hall of Fame show! With the introduction of The Dream looming, and PCW being remembered... Lord knows who else will be achieving the most significant of honors in this companies history.
Max: So what matches will we be having tonight?
Daniel: That's the thing Max, all match are being kept secret... and even the competitors don't know. All we know is that each match will be to celebrate the new Hall of Fame entrant. For example, PCW will have it's own match as will The Dream.
Max: Like the Ben Whyndam show?
Daniel: Exactly.
Max: So who is the first entrant into the Hall of Fame?
Daniel: Let's go to Mina and find out.
Mina: Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman! Welcome to the WPW Hall of Fame Show! Now, would you please turn your attention to the Big Screen as the onmious voice will introduce the very first entrant to the WPW Hall of Fame!
“It was several years ago that the face of the professional wrestling landscape was changed forever. A small independent federation was formed that was soon to become one of the biggest wrestling companies in North America. Featuring innovative wrestlers and matches, it would go on to be the foundation upon which WPW was built. Following it’s demise, many of its star performers made their way here to WPW and continued to build on that legacy. Therefore, it is with great pride that the WPW Hall of Fame inducts Professional Championship Wrestling.”
Mina: WPW is honored to enter into Hall of Fame... Professional Championship Wrestling! To induct PCW, please welcome Former PCW Champion, and the man who signifies PCW... Mike Adams!
“What I’ve Done” by Linkin Park blasts through the loudspeaker as Mike Adams stands up from his chair and smile and waves to the crowd a bit and steps up to the podium on the stage. Adams clears his throat a bit as the music dies down.
Mike: Wow. I don’t know which is more shocking, the fact that this rinky-dink promotion is actually having a Hall of Fame or that they need my star power to induct PCW into it?
All joking aside, I’m coming to all of you tonight not as Mike Adams professional wrestler but under my birth name Mike Rohrssen, some guy who was chosen to try and guide a fed to the best of his ability. But first before I get into all that, let me talk about PCW.
Now I know PCW wasn’t a perfect place. It wasn’t perfect before I started there, it wasn’t perfect while Paul ran it, and it sure as hell wasn’t perfect when I ran it.
But let’s face facts…PCW is the reason we are all here. All of us.
Everyone from James Cassius to the Karvers to Beno. All of us are here because of what PCW was and what PCW wasn’t.
Now I’m here to do to at least put forth an attempt to try and summarize what PCW was for everyone, and quite frankly I can’t do that. But I can tell you all what PCW meant for me.
PCW was a place for wrestling fans like us could get together and have fun. Sure we fought a lot but through it all, I’d like to think a lot of us had fun with what we were doing and believed in the product we put out. When I first started, I was a young idealist like everyone who starts out. I mean when I first came in I was a young naïve kid who already thought he was the shit and though he deserved to play with the big boys immediately. Hell when Martin Cameron first came in, he played with puppets. Dan Murph was a potato farmer. James Cassius was a manager. Scorch was an asshole. Okay well I guess some things don’t change.
Adams laughs a little bit as the camera pans to Scorch he has a disgusted look on his face but eventually cracks a smile and just shakes his head.
Adams: What I mean to say is that without PCW where would any of us be? I mean sure, there are other feds out there. But regardless of its flaws I still think PCW had something special. PCW took a lot of really raw wrestlers and changed them completely. It helped expose one of the most creative men I know in this business and that’s Paul or Judge whatever you want to call him. It was his mind that brought us the Suicide Chamber and one of the first inter-fed wars that I’ve ever been involved with. Not to mention all the intricate storylines and gimmicks he helped create and manufacture for just about everyone in PCW. And it was because of him that he handed me the reins of PCW.
Adams looks around at everyone in the arena.
Adams: Contain your groans.
I’d like to say that my time running PCW was at times very trying but there was a job to do and I was the only one deemed to do it. PCW was a byproduct of what we all made of it. Now I’m not saying I never made mistakes and I’m not saying but PCW was perfect but after I took control, I feel that we prospered in many more ways.
We got one of the greatest heels in the twilight of PCW in the Killing Joke, the meteoric rise of WPW Hall of Fame nominee The Dream, and to be honest, regardless of what he will say, but opening the career of James Moriarty Cassius. The new concept matches of the X-Cell and the Five Floors of Hell were also instituted under my reign. And PCW had a whole legion of new stars that started and are now blossoming in WPW.
So while a lot of you may look back at PCW as a failed experiment, the source for many years of being underutilized and under appreciated, or where all of you got your start in this sweet science we call professional wrestling, we are here to honor and respect Professional Championship Wrestling.
So Professional Championship Wrestling, I proudly and respectfully induct you and all of your flaws and triumphs into the WPW Hall of Fame.
Mike Adams leaves the stage as two old faces head down to the ring.
Daniel: Well, since this is a match for PCW we will be handing the reigns over to the PCW commentators John Elliot and Nathan Scott. We like to welcome them tonight after the "unpleasantness" of When Worlds Collide. So good luck guys.
John: Thank you Daniel, well Max nothing says ‘Party’ like a 12 man PCW Gimmick Battle Royal, Nathan.
Nathan: Actually, I think you’ll find a crate of vodka, a naked women’s soccer team and a paddling pool of KY jelly say ‘Party’ pretty damn well.
John (Doesn’t realize the camera is on him and high fives Nathan) : That’s a terrible thing to say, Nathan. I’m sure that Stephanie O’Donnell and all our female viewers would like an apology.
Nathan (Also doesn’t realize that the camera is on him and does some obscene pelvic thrusts) : You’re absolutely right, John. I don’t know what came over me.
John: OK, let’s explain the match. It’s an over the top Battle Royal – I’m sure I don’t have to explain that to you, unless you’re completely new to the world of Sports Entertainment. And if you are……well, look it up. We’ve got a show to get through.
Six men are in the ring, making space for themselves, testing the ropes and eyeing up the unfamiliar costumes that they wear. Ethan is in the centre of the ring.
PCW Dedication Match
PCW Battle Royal
Ethan:……..Our next contestant, weighing in at 926 lbs……if this match was taking place on Uranus…….Beno!!!!!!!!!!!
WPW stalwart Beno comes from behind the curtains in a loin cloth and stack heels that make him about eight feet tall.
John: That’s not Beno surely…..in the spirit of this PCW memorial match, that looks like the world’s joint tallest athlete, Mammoth.
Nathan: ‘Athlete’ is stretching things a bit, John. Anyway – Mammoth – I thought he was tragically struck down by a terminal case of dandruff, yet here he is to thrill us once again with………..um……his mastery of the Mongolian Chop.
Beno falls over three times on the way to the ring and has to be helped back to his feet, then through the ropes. He leans back against the top rope and topples, doing a back somersault to the outside.
John: Is that him out? I think that’s him out.
But the match has not officially started and so Beno discards the huge boots and is allowed back into the ring.
Ethan: Your next………..um…………this is taking too long………Your next three contestants, Sky Ryder, Xavier Ray and Mike Corral!!!
On The Good Ship Lollipop by Shirley Temple plays as the three wrestlers stumble out confused and arguing who is to be introduced first.
Ryder is in religiose gear and fauns over Mike Corral who does a One-like God – Like – Pose. Ray poses with a skull and has frilly cuffs and hose on. He seems to be mimicking PCW era Shakespearean groupie, JMC.
Nathan: Whose music is that, John? I can’t remember it from the old days.
John: Well, I didn’t think we would find any of the old music, Nathan, so I just dug that one out of my CD collection. I think it’s time for a Temple revival.
Nathan: Yeah, her career was never the same after it was revealed that she was a 47 year old female midget called Mary.
The music changes as these three get to the ring making it a little crowded there. This time we get an oriental mash-up that sounds like a herd of yak being sodomized by a range of kitchen implements festooned with tambourine bells.
Ethan: Your next contestant, hailing on this occasion from West of Java, Psymon Starks.
Starks comes out wearing Kabuki make up and trying to come down the ramp on a set of stilts.
John: It’s KRAKATOA!!!
Nathan: It’s not.
John: It’s not, but it’s the uncanniest impersonation of the eight foot tall volcano that I’ve ever seen.
Nathan: It’s not. It’s Psymon Starks on stilts.
John: OK. You’re right.
Ethan: Your final contestant, accompanied by original PCW superstar and the only wrestling pork based product except Connie Bee, Hammm, it’s The Royal Knight!
The Royal Knight comes out to Sinn’s old music holding a leg of ham at arms length. The lack of maggots suggest that this is not the original partner of Sinn, but a recently purchased facsimile. A few of the crowd boo.
Royal Knight gets in the ring and brandishes Ham to keep Blade Lavigne at bay. Blade , confusingly, has an old Wales Rugby shirt on and is jumping around like former PCW Champion Rhys Saunders.
Nathan: Who is Jerimiah Ranks trying to be? The Invisible man? Black is so last year’s color.
John: Well, he’s The Black Man in Black, taking the concept just a little further.
Ethan: And, as my little treat, I’m making this a Frost First…..
John: Good Lord……..
Ethan: This match is going to be an over the top rope Battle Royal…….Lumberjill match!!!!!
John: What the??? What’s the point of lumberjills? Once you’re over the rope, you’re out!
Nathan: Oooooh, trust me, John. There’s every point…..and here comes a round dozen of em……
Six women in very tight T-shirts emerge from backstage, waving to the fans. They are (deep breath) Michelle Keibler, Dana Dameson, Lisa Scott Lee, Stephanie O’Donnell, Carmela DeCaesere and Vannah Long. They pout and blow kisses to fans then bend over the announce table allowing a cameraman to go along a row of six peaches exposed under short identical skirts.
Nathan: It’s official, John. There is a God.
Nathan rises as if to bury his face in a selection of breasts but the girls pull away and wag their fingers. They arrange themselves around the ring and start to shout for their own favorite WPW/PCW wrestler.
Guest PCW referee Kenny Mitchell calls for the bell and the action begins with an exchange of punches between the four men who complete the line-up : Ryuu Tsukigami as Weirdo, The Main Man as the yet to be defeated, as far as we know, T-Dog and Johnny Tapia and Jason Silver as those Nazis who turned out to be Ice Cream Men, Bruno and Gunther aka Ben and Jerry.
Johnny Tapia and Silver pound their opponents in unison while throwing in a few ironic goosesteps to show off the famed German sense of humor. Ryuu and The Main Man go back against the ropes and Tapia and Silver come at them with synchronized clotheslines but their opponents duck and the two fake Germans go over the top rope. They each manage to grab it however and prevent their feet from hitting the ground. They pull themselves back up and use their shoulders to stop Ryuu and Main Man from finishing the job.
In a corner of the ring, Beno and Psymon Starks try to recreate the Mammoth/KRAKATOA experience by swapping chops. This meets with the same crowd response as the original legendary contest that ended with PCW’s credibility in tatters. Beno decides a different approach is required and, abandoning character, German Suplexes Starks.
Nathan:……………king assholes. Oh, we’re back on.
John: Yes, in a tribute to the much loved…..um…..home made ethos at PCW, we were experiencing some technical difficulties with the microphones there, but I’m assured that everything’s back to normal.
Nathan: Well, ‘normal’ is just a relative term at PCW.
John: Anyhoo….Beno and Starks seem to have abandoned their impersonations of PCW’s two eight footers and are back to some real wrestling.
Beno follows up with an elbow drop then pulls Starks to his feet before whipping him across the ring….where he clatters into Mike Corral still posing as The One. Corral turns and stares holes into Starks. Starks wilts and is then brought down from behind by a chop-block from Sky Ryder. Ryder, Corral and Beno then stomp the proverbial mudhole in Psymon Starks.
Suddenly Starks grabs Ryder’s foot and pushes him backwards into the air. He twists Corral’s knee, bringing him down into a leg lock and at the same time, kicks Beno in the face with his free foot.
John: Oooh! KRAKATOA just erupted!
Beno goes back to the ropes where he is helped over by a backhand by Jerimiah Ranks. Beno hits the floor.
BENO OUT!
John: No PCW show truly gets going until Beno is beat down. He shows his glittering career at PCW is still on the same track here at WPW.
Nathan: Beno gets my vote for next year’s Hall of Fame, that’s for sure.
The Royal Knight is swinging Ham at anyone who comes within two feet but Blade Lavigne ducks under and catches RK with a Rock Bottom. He springs up again and grabs Ham who has fallen from RK’s grasp. He throws Ham over the top rope where it is set upon by lumberjills Lisa Scott Lee and Carmella De Caesare.
Nathan: Oh, look at these poor girls. When did they last eat?
John: Not since PCW’s last show over a year and a half ago. No job, no food. Anyway, I wonder if this means that The Royal Knight is out as Ham definitely went over the top rope there.
The Royal Knight swiftly follows Ham as Blade Lavigne throws him with a simple Scoop Slam to the outside.
John: No need for a ruling on that. RK hits the floor and we’ve got ten men left.
ROYAL KNIGHT OUT!
Xavier Ray is hunched over in the corner yelling ‘A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!’
Nathan: Is that Richard the Third?
John: No, it’s Xavier Ray pretending to be JMC pretending to be Richard the Third.
Nathan: Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.
John: Good quote, Nathan. Shame it wasn’t Shakespeare.
Nathan: You’re shitting me, John!
John: Strangely enough, that was Shakespeare.
Ray catches a passing Johnny Tapia with a spinning heel kick but this just attracts the attention of his partner for the evening, Jason Silver. He comes in with a double leg takedown and Tapia motions Silver to hoist him up on his shoulders. Silver starts to do so but Ray swings round and drops Silver with a DDT then back flips Tapia over the top rope as he comes in for revenge.
JOHNNY TAPIA OUT!
Silver gets up and tries to spear Ray, but Ray is ready and steps aside for Silver to go shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Silver staggers back but Ray grabs his arm and whips him over the rope.
SILVER OUT!
John: Two more men out, including rising superstar, Johnny Tapia. Speaking of which, I wonder why The Shockmaster wasn’t included in this match?
Nathan: Apparently he’s been banned from a 10 mile radius of this hall after that disgusting display of flatulence last week. They had to empty WPW headquarters for defumigation after that performance.
John: A bit like the reaction to your commentary at the last PCW Brawl for it All then?
Nathan: My commentary saved that company.
John: Yet, another success story there Nathan.
Nathan: Don't worry John, we'll be back doing this every week as soon as When World's Collides 2 Electric Bungaloo comes around. We've just been give WPW false confidence for the last 17 months.
Meanwhile in the ring as the confusing entrants fight it out, Jerimiah Ranks is far too occupied the cleavage around the ring. He reaches over the ropes and yells something about black thunder and being electrified to Vannah Long, but as he begins to get his mack on Ryuu comes from behind and throws the MiB Impersonator over.
JERIMIAH RANKS OUT
Ryuu celebrates for a moment, but from behind him comes the Main Man as T-Dog to throw him out in a slight domino effect. Main man then starts rambling about be Undefeated or something.
RYUU OUT!
John: We lose the Man in Black, and the Man that's Weirdo all in one brief moment.
Nathan: Oh My God! Jeremiah Ranks was the man in black! I knew it! And you thought it was the jokester for all of those years Johny boy.
John: Only quality from the PCW side of things, sheer quality....
In the ring Starks stands tall and try to push around his opponents to mimmick his PCW "counterpart" KRAKATOA, however being lost in the moment of being a untalented storyline giant, he forgets he doesn't weight 500 pounds... so as he trys to lift Blade Lavigne abd Mike Corral at the same time, he fails and picked up by both men and launched over the top rope onto three of the lumberjills. Starks lays on top of the women, having lost... but winning at the same time.
PSYMON STARKS OUT
In the ring Mike Corral looks onto Xavier Ray and they stare each other down as reminesent of the old One versus JMC battles, however unknown to him Sky Ryder as Number 2 comes from behind and hits the JMC version of Xavier ray in the back of the head with forarm. Corral and Ryder look at eachother and nod their heads, and take brass knuckles out of their trucks and wallop the Cassius Ray in the head at the same time!
John: The Original ONE 2 PUNCH!
Nathan: Thank god those two losers never went on to do anything.
Xavier Ray plummets to the ground and Corral and Ryder high five... Corral then does a God Like Pose and grabs Ryder by the head and throws him out of the ring.
SKY RYDER OUT!
John: Four men now remain in the ring, Blade as Saunders, Corral as The One, Xavier as JMC, and Main Man as T-Dog.
Nathan: But wait one second.
Out comes Carlos Gonzales as Mike Adams!?!?!?!?!?!?
John: What the Hell why is the owner of WPW coming out dressed like Mike Adams, and why is he getting in the ring?
Carlos with mic in hand enters the ring and all four men stand at opposite corners confused and flustered.
Carlos "Unstoppable" GonAdamez: Due to unknown forces, we have to declare a winner for this match early, and for storyline purposes we will not be taking your efforts into this decision. Thank you. Ethan, take this and announce the predetermined winner.
Carlos walks over to Ethan and hands her a card and the Mic, he heads back over to the middle of the ring... and the four stars just look on confused. Mina looks down at the paper and hesitates before reading the results...
Ethan: Ladies and Gentleman the winner of the PCW Battle Royal..... WPW owner "Unstoppable" Carlos GonAdamez............
John: What? that's inane.
Nathan: Ah... the memories.
Meanwhile in the ring all for men circle Carlos, and Main Man grabs him and throws him over the top rope to the delight of the fans! Mike Corral and Xavier Ray as One and JMC climb the top rope and start chanting PCW PCW PCW PCW, and the crowd start to join in. Blade as Saunders tells the women to get into the ring and Main Man motion to Nathan and John to come in and join them.
John: I guess they want us in the ring Nathan.
Nathan: Well let's go celebrate PCW one more time!
John: Congradulations Profesional Championship Wrestling!
John and Nathan enter the ring and everyone in the ring, including the eliminated superstars join in with the fans with a chant of "PCW PCW PCW" as the we shift to a promo air earlier in the week.
The One: They say we have to look to our past, to see into our future, and on that account, when the few remaining originals take their leave, and decide to rest in history along side the others who have moved along. When we decide to take the burden of remembering this place's history off our shoulders, and hand it to people like Jason Silver, Sky Ryder, and David Nicholls, we will give them this Hall of Fame to help remember the men who built where they now are able to prosper. With that and everything else, this Hall of Fame is not just about remembering who we were, but it’s so the young lions, the new faces never forget who we are, how we struggled and what it takes to do what’s right for this company, this history we have built.
A year ago for the battle of PCW and WPW, I asked my fellow wrestlers to unite under the banner of WPW for survival, I asked us all to fight for something better, something that we deserved. For one moment, I became the general of WPW, And now I ask all of you again to join in this idea. Some of you friends, most of you foes, I ask you to unite for one night and celebrate what we have built, what those men we give tribute to, built. Not for your own personal gains or victories but for an idea, a better way, a better way in which they have given us, in which we have given us. Tuesday September 9th, we will fight, we will struggle and we will succeed.
And in the end…
We will thank them when it’s over.
The One bows his head, and the camera pans out to a wide view of the small area and the WPW ring. The camera slowly fades to black.
Daniel: Nice words from the WPW superstar, and what a great ending to the PCW match! I like to thank Nathan and John for their time, but now it's time to move on to the next induction to the hall of fame...
Max: Come on Pollo....
Mina: Would you please again focus your attention again to the big screen for the next entrant into the WPW Hall of Fame.
“At the height of PCW’s popularity, there were two men that epitomized fan favorites. Their legendary antics, both in and out of the ring kept fans amused for many years. They formed arguably the greatest tag team even seen in professional wrestling, and would win the PCW Tag Team Titles on several occasions. As PCW closed it’s doors for the final time, it was only fitting that this man was it’s champion, having been assisted in his quest by his former tag team partner. However, upon the move to WPW, his prior dealings with the Nicaraguan Death Squad finally caught up with him and he was to soon disappear from our screens. Last seen in a Nicaraguan Work Camp, WPW is proud to induct The Dream into the Hall of Fame.
Mina: Please give around of applause for our next induction into the Hall of Fame Former PCW Tag Team Champion and former PCW World Champion THE DREAMMMMM! To induct The Dream, now standing at the podium his tag team partner The Jokester!!!!
Daniel: Like Mina said next up, to induct perhaps the star attraction in PCW, and a WPW wrestler for an all too brief period, we have gone to considerable trouble to bring this man back to you. He might not last for long so, ladies and gentlemen…..the Jokester!
Confusion from the crowd but ‘I am the Jokester’, his doctored version of ‘I Am The Walrus’ plays and Jokester comes onto the stage.
Jokester: Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m the big evil bastard that stabbed The Dream in the back more than once, but give me the right drugs and I’ll give anyone an award.
I remember the first time I saw The Dream. His first words to me were ‘Hey! I used to have a wallet like that’.
Once I regained consciousness, we became good friends and I learned of his fascination with three things…..Mr Kipling’s Battenburg Fancies, Herman and the Hermits debut album and Lavender flavor washing up liquid….
Sorry, wrong list. That’s for the 7-11 tonight.
No, 70’s UK wrestler Les Kellett, media prankster Chris Morris and Charlie K’s High Street Recreational Supplies Emporium. It was some weird violent carnal mash-up mix of these that led to the birth of El Sueno, The Dream, hit man for the Nicaraguan Death Squad, part time professional wrestler and full time lamp-post hanger outside Croydon’s finest Primary Schools.
His Tesco car park showdown with Steve ‘Saxy Boy’ Sachs is the stuff of legends, luckily captured by a poorly angled security camera. Roll VT.
30 seconds of footage is shown, the occasional arm or leg cartwheeling through the static camera shot while a 10 year old boy sits on a Volvo, eating crisps (that’s UK potato chips) and picking his nose. It finishes with a 300 lb security guard puffing his way into shot after two fleeing wrestlers. Giving up the chase, he cuffs the 10 year old and steals his bag of crisps.
It was stunning action like this that brought The Dream to the attention of the men with the big budgets, the visionaries of the wrestling world, the pioneers of top quality violence……..and Jeffrey O’Donnell.
His offer of complete character development control, freedom from America’s oppressive drug and statutory rape laws, and a promise to import Waitrose’s own brand pork pies were more than a match for Vince McMahon’s six figure offer.
The Dream signed for O’Donnell’s fledgling PCW organization where he was soon teamed with a handsome genius from Chuckletown, New Mexico, who finally carried him to a six month unbeaten run as PCW tag team champions. This was the legendary Dream Team, still banned from 43 States of the Union, most of Canada, and any Midwest town with a Taco Bell.
Sadly, this team imploded as first his partner, then the Dream himself won the PCW championship.
Always an easy winner in any fan popularity contest when The Jokester was excluded, it is my great pleasure to induct into WPW’s Hall of Fame, it’s first and finest wrestler……
THE DREAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A-MER-I-CA hits and The Dream appears at the back of the hall in the old Dream Team motorcycle and sidecar combo, its monster wheels crushing the heads of the fans in the cheap seats. He gets to the stage and falls off the bike. Jokester goes to offer him a hand to get up. At the last moment, they withdraw their hands and do the familiar thumb to nose gesture, fingers waggling furiously as if in a belly dance contest.
The Dream stops all of sudden though and points right to Jokester and smile, and grabs the mic from Jokester in a playful manner.
The Dream: It's a honor to be the first humanoid inductee into the Hall of Fame, and I will remember every moment I was hitting people square in the nuts fondly, but I even have a greater honor tonight and that is to induct this man into the Hall of Fame....
The screen starts to flicker... and the ominous voice begins to speak...
The Dream Team was not only about The Dream but about his Partner, the unique, charismatic man who’s humor and unique ability of storytelling would drive to the early success of PCW, and would become the genius behind the most talked about storyline in the history of our business “The Man in Black” saga, a plot that lead to a heel turn, the dissembling of The Dream Team, and possibly the most sinister man ever to lay a foot in our ring. Yet, all of this didn’t come to a head until this man won his World Championship and become known as a legend from that day on. However, it didn’t stop there as PCW closed it’s doors he carried on his tradition of off the wall storytelling with the likes of Tokester and X-P*c, and his brief but influential run in politics. It is everyone in WPW’s honor to induct the man who is loved by all as a Comedian, and still loved by all as a Killer…. Please rise to your feet as we induct the Legendary…. JOKESTER!
Mina: Stand up for the next entrant into the WPW Hall of Fame... The Jokester!!!!!
Jokester looks shocked for a moment, and smiles at Dream and bows his heads to the fans who all stand in ovation of The Dream Team. Both men nod at each other and head towards the ring.
Dream Team Dedication Match
Dream Team vs. Sudden Impact
Mina: And the match to follow these inductions will be a tag match, and introducing first... The Greatest Tag Team of All Time.... THE DREEEEAAAAMAMMM TEAMMMMM!!!!!!!
Daniel: Wow we get to see the legendary dream team in action here tonight Max.
Max: And that doesn't look good for their opponents, as I think the jolly Jokester has left us, because that sneer looks like Killing Joke!
Daniel: So it's the Killing Joke and Dream... this should be interesting.
Mina: And the their opponents.... Former PCW Tag Team Champions... Sudden Impact!
'Down With The Sickness' hit's the speakers and both men come running down to the ring with a chorus of boos.
Adams has rolled into the ring but Dream wastes no time as he runs at his enemy and hits a hard, swift kick before Mike even reaches his feet! The crowd boo at Adams and cheers The Dream with his first piece of offense in many a month, but he just flips them off as he attempts to go to work on Mike, but the ref gets in the way of Adams and admonishes him, telling him that he has to reach his feet first before the match can properly begin. Dream then moves over to Adams nonetheless, pushing past the referee. But he doesn’t attack Adams, instead helping him up. Dream them points to Adams feet, and then to the referee, signaling he is up.. Before bringing him down again with a Russian Leg Sweep.
Daniel: The Dream is back, losing very little of his spark.
Max: He’s still a douche to me.
Dream gets up and starts to nail Mike with a series of chops and punches as Adams lies stunned on the ground. He gets up off Adams after the Referee once again forces him off. Dream charges at Adams and hit a knee drop. He tries once more and this time it does not go according to plan. Mike moves his legs and brings Dream down in a Drop Toe Hold. Dream’s head falls and hits the ropes, bouncing off them before coming to teeter on the edge of it. The Dream lies there for a moment, as if it were almost cozy to him… Before Chris Cage Drops a foot right to his temple, bouncing him harshly into reality, then as harshly out of it again. Mike Seizes his chance and goes for a pin
1………………..
2...
No, Dream kicks out.
Daniel: Near fall by Adams.
Max: I never knew Cage and Adams were a tag team once upon a time!
Mike Adams, making his first ‘real’ return to the ring in a very long time, takes this opportunity to stretch and attempt to gain his bearings once more. Dream does the same, Both men quickly stand but Adams once again gains the upper hand as he charges Dream and hits him with another kick to the gut. Adams grabs him in a front face lock and drags him back toward his own corner to tag in his near-brother, Chris Cage, while still keeping Dream in the hold. Adams lets The Dream go as he climbs out of the ring and Cage gets in but as he makes a dash for Dream, he lowers his head and lifts Cage by the legs to flip him up and over his head in a high angle back body drop.
Daniel: Chris Cage is learning that while the dReam ahs been away, he’s not lsot all his cunning.
Max: Where did he go? Was he kidnapped in Nicaragua again?
Daniel: I’m not sure. But it is awfully nice of his captors to let him go for this night if he is!
Cage quickly gets to his feet and turns to face The Dream who wraps his arm around his opponent and pulls himself down to perform an arm drag takedown. Cage stands in his corner and looks at Shadow with a wary glance, then turns and slaps Adams on the chest making the tag. Adams is back in. Adams gets in and locks up with The Dream, They begin to circle before one gets an advantage. Dream loses his footing and soon has his head scooped under Mike’s arm in a DDT position. Dream kicks out from under himself and attains a nearly perfect horizontal shape, before planting his feet down. Adams spins around, trying to keep The Dream under Control. But ass son as he does. The Jokester enters the Ring and levels Adams with a Clothesline to the back.
Max: Now wait, what?
Daniel: You know what? I think I know what happened!
Max: Jokester interfered for no good reason, that’s what!
Daniel: No. When Dream went all horizontal, he kicked out at Jokester, who must have used it as a chance to tag.
It seems so, and the referee must have seen it as he shows no sign of stopping it. The two drop a leg each on Adams before preparing him for the next move. With nearly painful vigor, each man grabs onto a leg of Mike and pulls it up, before yanking them down in a double wishbone that seems to end Adams married life.
Killing Jokester goes for the Pin.
1……………………..
2……..
Kickout!
KJ seems to be ready and launches a devastating blow to the teeth within seconds of Adams kickout. Even The dream cringes at this.
Daniel: It seems that The Dream is still a little offput by The Killing Joke aspect of his partners nature.
Max: Whiny crybaby.
Daniel (Ignoring): It’s an interesting conundrum. I mean The Dream should know nothing but dislike for The Killing Joke due to their feud.. But it is the same man as The Jokester, who is just a huge aspect of his life.
KJ picks up Mike and throws him into the ropes, As mike returns for a big boot, he ducks and Mike is able to worm his way out of the move. But Rather than hitting the ropes again, Mike is able to pull a rather stunning neckbreaker. The crowd jump at this and Mike seizes his opportunity, He immediately launches the straight Jacket on KJ, but is powered out of it. KJ is about to get up, before he is met with a big boot onto his own face, knocking him down.
Max: Mike Adams has also been out of the retrace of Wrestling too, and he’s doing a fine Job!
Daniel: He is. And don’t forget that The Killing Joke is a Number one Contender too! … Well at least, one of them!
Mike grabs KJ and pulls him towards Cage. The two tag over and Mike Leaves the ring, throwing KJ into Cage’s capable hands. Cage pulls Killing Joke to his feet and then still holding onto his arm whips him across the ring into the ropes. KJ bounces off the ropes as Cage lunges for her but he drops down and slides between his legs. Very nimble, we must admit. Cage turns around as KJ quickly stands and Cage is caught right in the chest by a hard knife edge chop from Mr. Joke. A smile spreads across his face as KJ reels it back and nails Cage across the chest with a second knife edge chop turning him completely around. Joke charges as Cage spins and extends to nail him in the throat with a clothesline as the crowd actually give a small pop, surprising for the ferocity of the attack.
KJ let's go of Cage, who stumbles out to the center of the ring, and flops. KJ stands over his Sudden Impact Enemy, and then he looks out to the crowd with his right hand balled up in a fist. The Killing Joke has a sadistic look in his eyes. Cage uses this time to crawl over to the corner, and he sticks his hand out, attempting to reach Adams to stop with the beating. KJ just shakes his head. Cage pulls himself up with the ropes, and as KJ gets closer to him, Chris Cage rakes the eyes of Scorch. He follows up with a chop block on his right leg, and KJ falls in pain.
Daniel: Chris Cage is certainly getting back into the Game here and now.
Max: What do you expect from a future Tag Team Champion?
Daniel: True. Well not that true. He’s still got to defeat Cameron & The One.
Cage then hoists up The Killing Joke and throws him at the turnbuckle. Or rather, close to the turnbuckle where he runs into Mike Adams. Adams is ready and pulls his head down before lifting KJ up. Cage runs over too and as Adams drops him for a power bomb, Cage performs a backstabber on KJ, bringing him down with ferocity!
Daniel: The Sudden Impact!
Cage goes for the pinfall.
1……………….
2……………………
THRE
No! Killing Joke Kicks out.
As soon as Cage gets up however, he is met with a devastating Nicaraguan Kick from The Dream, who had entered into this match rather illegally. Adams also charges in now, to right this wrong, jumping over Dream and collecting the two of them, throwing them over the ropes. All four men are now down.
Daniel: This might not be a good time to mention it, but this is a good example of PCW’s inter-relativity.
Max: Not a good time?
Daniel: Well, they’re all out cold, Max.
Max: True.
Daniel: All Three of the last PCW Champions before the companies Demise are in there. First off as The Killing Joke. Not The Jokester. Who won it at PCW’s last version of their “Redemption”, their big show.
Max: What was it called?
Daniel: Can’t remember.. I wasn’t there. Then Came The Dream, Who won it From The Killing Joke. Who then lost it to Mike Adams who had a briefcase.
Max: Ah, they had a Sell Your Soul Match too?
Daniel: No, they called it a “Money In The Bank” Briefcase. They were a lot more willing to admit they stole the idea from Eric Bischoff.
Max: Or they couldn’t come up with a name!
Daniel: And then The Dream won it yet again after winning the Second Ever Tournament of Champions.
Adams and Dream have started to brawl on the outside. Adams gets an advantage and throws the Dream into the barricade. Dream topples over and half into the crowd, teetering on the edge like a car on a cliff. Adams pulls him back and his jaw clips the metal fence as he violently re enters the battle arena.
The Dream gets hoisted up groggily by Mike Adams, who turns to throw Dream into the ringpost. But as he does son, Dream shifts his weight and sends Adams right into the Ringpost. Adams drops like a stone before dream charges and drops him completely with a Spinal Tap!
Daniel: Mike is down, flalign to his own move, reversed unto him.
Max: What poetic crap!
Dream Charges into the ring, where Cage had recently gotten an upper hand over The Killing Jokester. He had draped his arm over KJ and the count had started.
1……………
2……………..
No! Dream gets there in time.
The Dream is now on a mission after helping KJ up by leaning over and pressing his boot into Cage’s neck. KJ shrugs it off like he needed no help and sees that He and the dream are up. Dream looks stupidly excited and the fans. Specifically those who wear vintage PCW attire, begin to go equally as stupid.
Max: What’s going on?
Daniel: You don’t wanna know. Neither will Chris Cage!
The Dream is now towering the Turnbuckle as The Killing “Jokester” hoists up Cage in a Powerbomb position. The Dream stand on the top, facing outwards as he signals to the crowd who, even if they are unaware of “Contain the Bees” Can see something awesome about to happen. The dream Then sails off the turnbuckle and starts to Moonsault away, But as He does, he grabs the Head of his enemy, Chris Cage. Cage si them brought down in a Moonsauting DDT/Powerbomb position known as Contain the Bees!
KJ Hooks the leg.
1…………………….
2……………………
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Ding Ding*
Daniel: The Contain the Bees for the ending.
Max: And I’m glad that the real bees didn’t get inducted into the Hall of fame. You know they used to sexually abuse the old PCW Commentators.
Mina: Here are your winners… THE DREAM TEAM!!!
KJ looks smug at this adequate and successful victory as The Dream, returning to his wrestling roots, is going spack. He jumps out of the ring and begins to overdo the idea of getting the crowd on your side, almost throwing himself over the railings to high-five the fans in row ‘A’ to row ‘G’
Daniel: Two wins for The Dream Team this week. First off inducted into the Hall of Fame by one another, and now one win over Sudden Impact, their oldest enemies.
Max: I'm being told we have another promo to get to.
Guy in Big Game Hunter gear: Sir, I’ve been doing this sort of thing for 27 years. You need a rhino sedated to have its toenails clipped? – I’m your man. You want a rabid grizzly to dance Swan Lake? I can do that. This is child’s play.
Todd: Quick. Here he comes.
Game hunter pulls out a 12 bore shotgun and loads 2 cartridges labeled ‘Ketamine triple strength’. They hide behind a locker.
Killing Joke emerges from the shower area, a towel thankfully covering his lower half. We see a tattoo on his back - a smiley face with a knife sticking in the skull. He sees a $100 bill under a fake dog turd. He bends over and his towel drops, exposing a wide expanse of hairy ass. Game hunter lets blast with the shotgun and, after the smoke clears, we see KJ standing up again, two red marks on his ass cheeks.
Killing Joke: Oooooh. That smarts. Still, I’ve had worse.
He keels over and Todd Franklin comes over with a huge syringe labeled 100% pure cannabis oil.
Todd: Now for the kicker.
He injects KJ into a handy vein on the arm and KJ’s unconscious frown turns upside down.
Todd: Now we’re ready. Let’s get this show on the road.
WPW Hall of Fame 2008
Fireworks shoot from the rafters and confetti shoots onto the fans, as they erupt in excitement for the very special show. The camera pans around the ring and the fans, then focusing on the two commentators, Daniel and Max.
Daniel: Here we are Max! The first ever WPW Hall of Fame show! With the introduction of The Dream looming, and PCW being remembered... Lord knows who else will be achieving the most significant of honors in this companies history.
Max: So what matches will we be having tonight?
Daniel: That's the thing Max, all match are being kept secret... and even the competitors don't know. All we know is that each match will be to celebrate the new Hall of Fame entrant. For example, PCW will have it's own match as will The Dream.
Max: Like the Ben Whyndam show?
Daniel: Exactly.
Max: So who is the first entrant into the Hall of Fame?
Daniel: Let's go to Mina and find out.
Mina: Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman! Welcome to the WPW Hall of Fame Show! Now, would you please turn your attention to the Big Screen as the onmious voice will introduce the very first entrant to the WPW Hall of Fame!
“It was several years ago that the face of the professional wrestling landscape was changed forever. A small independent federation was formed that was soon to become one of the biggest wrestling companies in North America. Featuring innovative wrestlers and matches, it would go on to be the foundation upon which WPW was built. Following it’s demise, many of its star performers made their way here to WPW and continued to build on that legacy. Therefore, it is with great pride that the WPW Hall of Fame inducts Professional Championship Wrestling.”
Mina: WPW is honored to enter into Hall of Fame... Professional Championship Wrestling! To induct PCW, please welcome Former PCW Champion, and the man who signifies PCW... Mike Adams!
“What I’ve Done” by Linkin Park blasts through the loudspeaker as Mike Adams stands up from his chair and smile and waves to the crowd a bit and steps up to the podium on the stage. Adams clears his throat a bit as the music dies down.
Mike: Wow. I don’t know which is more shocking, the fact that this rinky-dink promotion is actually having a Hall of Fame or that they need my star power to induct PCW into it?
All joking aside, I’m coming to all of you tonight not as Mike Adams professional wrestler but under my birth name Mike Rohrssen, some guy who was chosen to try and guide a fed to the best of his ability. But first before I get into all that, let me talk about PCW.
Now I know PCW wasn’t a perfect place. It wasn’t perfect before I started there, it wasn’t perfect while Paul ran it, and it sure as hell wasn’t perfect when I ran it.
But let’s face facts…PCW is the reason we are all here. All of us.
Everyone from James Cassius to the Karvers to Beno. All of us are here because of what PCW was and what PCW wasn’t.
Now I’m here to do to at least put forth an attempt to try and summarize what PCW was for everyone, and quite frankly I can’t do that. But I can tell you all what PCW meant for me.
PCW was a place for wrestling fans like us could get together and have fun. Sure we fought a lot but through it all, I’d like to think a lot of us had fun with what we were doing and believed in the product we put out. When I first started, I was a young idealist like everyone who starts out. I mean when I first came in I was a young naïve kid who already thought he was the shit and though he deserved to play with the big boys immediately. Hell when Martin Cameron first came in, he played with puppets. Dan Murph was a potato farmer. James Cassius was a manager. Scorch was an asshole. Okay well I guess some things don’t change.
Adams laughs a little bit as the camera pans to Scorch he has a disgusted look on his face but eventually cracks a smile and just shakes his head.
Adams: What I mean to say is that without PCW where would any of us be? I mean sure, there are other feds out there. But regardless of its flaws I still think PCW had something special. PCW took a lot of really raw wrestlers and changed them completely. It helped expose one of the most creative men I know in this business and that’s Paul or Judge whatever you want to call him. It was his mind that brought us the Suicide Chamber and one of the first inter-fed wars that I’ve ever been involved with. Not to mention all the intricate storylines and gimmicks he helped create and manufacture for just about everyone in PCW. And it was because of him that he handed me the reins of PCW.
Adams looks around at everyone in the arena.
Adams: Contain your groans.
I’d like to say that my time running PCW was at times very trying but there was a job to do and I was the only one deemed to do it. PCW was a byproduct of what we all made of it. Now I’m not saying I never made mistakes and I’m not saying but PCW was perfect but after I took control, I feel that we prospered in many more ways.
We got one of the greatest heels in the twilight of PCW in the Killing Joke, the meteoric rise of WPW Hall of Fame nominee The Dream, and to be honest, regardless of what he will say, but opening the career of James Moriarty Cassius. The new concept matches of the X-Cell and the Five Floors of Hell were also instituted under my reign. And PCW had a whole legion of new stars that started and are now blossoming in WPW.
So while a lot of you may look back at PCW as a failed experiment, the source for many years of being underutilized and under appreciated, or where all of you got your start in this sweet science we call professional wrestling, we are here to honor and respect Professional Championship Wrestling.
So Professional Championship Wrestling, I proudly and respectfully induct you and all of your flaws and triumphs into the WPW Hall of Fame.
Mike Adams leaves the stage as two old faces head down to the ring.
Daniel: Well, since this is a match for PCW we will be handing the reigns over to the PCW commentators John Elliot and Nathan Scott. We like to welcome them tonight after the "unpleasantness" of When Worlds Collide. So good luck guys.
John: Thank you Daniel, well Max nothing says ‘Party’ like a 12 man PCW Gimmick Battle Royal, Nathan.
Nathan: Actually, I think you’ll find a crate of vodka, a naked women’s soccer team and a paddling pool of KY jelly say ‘Party’ pretty damn well.
John (Doesn’t realize the camera is on him and high fives Nathan) : That’s a terrible thing to say, Nathan. I’m sure that Stephanie O’Donnell and all our female viewers would like an apology.
Nathan (Also doesn’t realize that the camera is on him and does some obscene pelvic thrusts) : You’re absolutely right, John. I don’t know what came over me.
John: OK, let’s explain the match. It’s an over the top Battle Royal – I’m sure I don’t have to explain that to you, unless you’re completely new to the world of Sports Entertainment. And if you are……well, look it up. We’ve got a show to get through.
Six men are in the ring, making space for themselves, testing the ropes and eyeing up the unfamiliar costumes that they wear. Ethan is in the centre of the ring.
PCW Dedication Match
PCW Battle Royal
Ethan:……..Our next contestant, weighing in at 926 lbs……if this match was taking place on Uranus…….Beno!!!!!!!!!!!
WPW stalwart Beno comes from behind the curtains in a loin cloth and stack heels that make him about eight feet tall.
John: That’s not Beno surely…..in the spirit of this PCW memorial match, that looks like the world’s joint tallest athlete, Mammoth.
Nathan: ‘Athlete’ is stretching things a bit, John. Anyway – Mammoth – I thought he was tragically struck down by a terminal case of dandruff, yet here he is to thrill us once again with………..um……his mastery of the Mongolian Chop.
Beno falls over three times on the way to the ring and has to be helped back to his feet, then through the ropes. He leans back against the top rope and topples, doing a back somersault to the outside.
John: Is that him out? I think that’s him out.
But the match has not officially started and so Beno discards the huge boots and is allowed back into the ring.
Ethan: Your next………..um…………this is taking too long………Your next three contestants, Sky Ryder, Xavier Ray and Mike Corral!!!
On The Good Ship Lollipop by Shirley Temple plays as the three wrestlers stumble out confused and arguing who is to be introduced first.
Ryder is in religiose gear and fauns over Mike Corral who does a One-like God – Like – Pose. Ray poses with a skull and has frilly cuffs and hose on. He seems to be mimicking PCW era Shakespearean groupie, JMC.
Nathan: Whose music is that, John? I can’t remember it from the old days.
John: Well, I didn’t think we would find any of the old music, Nathan, so I just dug that one out of my CD collection. I think it’s time for a Temple revival.
Nathan: Yeah, her career was never the same after it was revealed that she was a 47 year old female midget called Mary.
The music changes as these three get to the ring making it a little crowded there. This time we get an oriental mash-up that sounds like a herd of yak being sodomized by a range of kitchen implements festooned with tambourine bells.
Ethan: Your next contestant, hailing on this occasion from West of Java, Psymon Starks.
Starks comes out wearing Kabuki make up and trying to come down the ramp on a set of stilts.
John: It’s KRAKATOA!!!
Nathan: It’s not.
John: It’s not, but it’s the uncanniest impersonation of the eight foot tall volcano that I’ve ever seen.
Nathan: It’s not. It’s Psymon Starks on stilts.
John: OK. You’re right.
Ethan: Your final contestant, accompanied by original PCW superstar and the only wrestling pork based product except Connie Bee, Hammm, it’s The Royal Knight!
The Royal Knight comes out to Sinn’s old music holding a leg of ham at arms length. The lack of maggots suggest that this is not the original partner of Sinn, but a recently purchased facsimile. A few of the crowd boo.
Royal Knight gets in the ring and brandishes Ham to keep Blade Lavigne at bay. Blade , confusingly, has an old Wales Rugby shirt on and is jumping around like former PCW Champion Rhys Saunders.
Nathan: Who is Jerimiah Ranks trying to be? The Invisible man? Black is so last year’s color.
John: Well, he’s The Black Man in Black, taking the concept just a little further.
Ethan: And, as my little treat, I’m making this a Frost First…..
John: Good Lord……..
Ethan: This match is going to be an over the top rope Battle Royal…….Lumberjill match!!!!!
John: What the??? What’s the point of lumberjills? Once you’re over the rope, you’re out!
Nathan: Oooooh, trust me, John. There’s every point…..and here comes a round dozen of em……
Six women in very tight T-shirts emerge from backstage, waving to the fans. They are (deep breath) Michelle Keibler, Dana Dameson, Lisa Scott Lee, Stephanie O’Donnell, Carmela DeCaesere and Vannah Long. They pout and blow kisses to fans then bend over the announce table allowing a cameraman to go along a row of six peaches exposed under short identical skirts.
Nathan: It’s official, John. There is a God.
Nathan rises as if to bury his face in a selection of breasts but the girls pull away and wag their fingers. They arrange themselves around the ring and start to shout for their own favorite WPW/PCW wrestler.
Guest PCW referee Kenny Mitchell calls for the bell and the action begins with an exchange of punches between the four men who complete the line-up : Ryuu Tsukigami as Weirdo, The Main Man as the yet to be defeated, as far as we know, T-Dog and Johnny Tapia and Jason Silver as those Nazis who turned out to be Ice Cream Men, Bruno and Gunther aka Ben and Jerry.
Johnny Tapia and Silver pound their opponents in unison while throwing in a few ironic goosesteps to show off the famed German sense of humor. Ryuu and The Main Man go back against the ropes and Tapia and Silver come at them with synchronized clotheslines but their opponents duck and the two fake Germans go over the top rope. They each manage to grab it however and prevent their feet from hitting the ground. They pull themselves back up and use their shoulders to stop Ryuu and Main Man from finishing the job.
In a corner of the ring, Beno and Psymon Starks try to recreate the Mammoth/KRAKATOA experience by swapping chops. This meets with the same crowd response as the original legendary contest that ended with PCW’s credibility in tatters. Beno decides a different approach is required and, abandoning character, German Suplexes Starks.
Nathan:……………king assholes. Oh, we’re back on.
John: Yes, in a tribute to the much loved…..um…..home made ethos at PCW, we were experiencing some technical difficulties with the microphones there, but I’m assured that everything’s back to normal.
Nathan: Well, ‘normal’ is just a relative term at PCW.
John: Anyhoo….Beno and Starks seem to have abandoned their impersonations of PCW’s two eight footers and are back to some real wrestling.
Beno follows up with an elbow drop then pulls Starks to his feet before whipping him across the ring….where he clatters into Mike Corral still posing as The One. Corral turns and stares holes into Starks. Starks wilts and is then brought down from behind by a chop-block from Sky Ryder. Ryder, Corral and Beno then stomp the proverbial mudhole in Psymon Starks.
Suddenly Starks grabs Ryder’s foot and pushes him backwards into the air. He twists Corral’s knee, bringing him down into a leg lock and at the same time, kicks Beno in the face with his free foot.
John: Oooh! KRAKATOA just erupted!
Beno goes back to the ropes where he is helped over by a backhand by Jerimiah Ranks. Beno hits the floor.
BENO OUT!
John: No PCW show truly gets going until Beno is beat down. He shows his glittering career at PCW is still on the same track here at WPW.
Nathan: Beno gets my vote for next year’s Hall of Fame, that’s for sure.
The Royal Knight is swinging Ham at anyone who comes within two feet but Blade Lavigne ducks under and catches RK with a Rock Bottom. He springs up again and grabs Ham who has fallen from RK’s grasp. He throws Ham over the top rope where it is set upon by lumberjills Lisa Scott Lee and Carmella De Caesare.
Nathan: Oh, look at these poor girls. When did they last eat?
John: Not since PCW’s last show over a year and a half ago. No job, no food. Anyway, I wonder if this means that The Royal Knight is out as Ham definitely went over the top rope there.
The Royal Knight swiftly follows Ham as Blade Lavigne throws him with a simple Scoop Slam to the outside.
John: No need for a ruling on that. RK hits the floor and we’ve got ten men left.
ROYAL KNIGHT OUT!
Xavier Ray is hunched over in the corner yelling ‘A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!’
Nathan: Is that Richard the Third?
John: No, it’s Xavier Ray pretending to be JMC pretending to be Richard the Third.
Nathan: Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.
John: Good quote, Nathan. Shame it wasn’t Shakespeare.
Nathan: You’re shitting me, John!
John: Strangely enough, that was Shakespeare.
Ray catches a passing Johnny Tapia with a spinning heel kick but this just attracts the attention of his partner for the evening, Jason Silver. He comes in with a double leg takedown and Tapia motions Silver to hoist him up on his shoulders. Silver starts to do so but Ray swings round and drops Silver with a DDT then back flips Tapia over the top rope as he comes in for revenge.
JOHNNY TAPIA OUT!
Silver gets up and tries to spear Ray, but Ray is ready and steps aside for Silver to go shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Silver staggers back but Ray grabs his arm and whips him over the rope.
SILVER OUT!
John: Two more men out, including rising superstar, Johnny Tapia. Speaking of which, I wonder why The Shockmaster wasn’t included in this match?
Nathan: Apparently he’s been banned from a 10 mile radius of this hall after that disgusting display of flatulence last week. They had to empty WPW headquarters for defumigation after that performance.
John: A bit like the reaction to your commentary at the last PCW Brawl for it All then?
Nathan: My commentary saved that company.
John: Yet, another success story there Nathan.
Nathan: Don't worry John, we'll be back doing this every week as soon as When World's Collides 2 Electric Bungaloo comes around. We've just been give WPW false confidence for the last 17 months.
Meanwhile in the ring as the confusing entrants fight it out, Jerimiah Ranks is far too occupied the cleavage around the ring. He reaches over the ropes and yells something about black thunder and being electrified to Vannah Long, but as he begins to get his mack on Ryuu comes from behind and throws the MiB Impersonator over.
JERIMIAH RANKS OUT
Ryuu celebrates for a moment, but from behind him comes the Main Man as T-Dog to throw him out in a slight domino effect. Main man then starts rambling about be Undefeated or something.
RYUU OUT!
John: We lose the Man in Black, and the Man that's Weirdo all in one brief moment.
Nathan: Oh My God! Jeremiah Ranks was the man in black! I knew it! And you thought it was the jokester for all of those years Johny boy.
John: Only quality from the PCW side of things, sheer quality....
In the ring Starks stands tall and try to push around his opponents to mimmick his PCW "counterpart" KRAKATOA, however being lost in the moment of being a untalented storyline giant, he forgets he doesn't weight 500 pounds... so as he trys to lift Blade Lavigne abd Mike Corral at the same time, he fails and picked up by both men and launched over the top rope onto three of the lumberjills. Starks lays on top of the women, having lost... but winning at the same time.
PSYMON STARKS OUT
In the ring Mike Corral looks onto Xavier Ray and they stare each other down as reminesent of the old One versus JMC battles, however unknown to him Sky Ryder as Number 2 comes from behind and hits the JMC version of Xavier ray in the back of the head with forarm. Corral and Ryder look at eachother and nod their heads, and take brass knuckles out of their trucks and wallop the Cassius Ray in the head at the same time!
John: The Original ONE 2 PUNCH!
Nathan: Thank god those two losers never went on to do anything.
Xavier Ray plummets to the ground and Corral and Ryder high five... Corral then does a God Like Pose and grabs Ryder by the head and throws him out of the ring.
SKY RYDER OUT!
John: Four men now remain in the ring, Blade as Saunders, Corral as The One, Xavier as JMC, and Main Man as T-Dog.
Nathan: But wait one second.
Out comes Carlos Gonzales as Mike Adams!?!?!?!?!?!?
John: What the Hell why is the owner of WPW coming out dressed like Mike Adams, and why is he getting in the ring?
Carlos with mic in hand enters the ring and all four men stand at opposite corners confused and flustered.
Carlos "Unstoppable" GonAdamez: Due to unknown forces, we have to declare a winner for this match early, and for storyline purposes we will not be taking your efforts into this decision. Thank you. Ethan, take this and announce the predetermined winner.
Carlos walks over to Ethan and hands her a card and the Mic, he heads back over to the middle of the ring... and the four stars just look on confused. Mina looks down at the paper and hesitates before reading the results...
Ethan: Ladies and Gentleman the winner of the PCW Battle Royal..... WPW owner "Unstoppable" Carlos GonAdamez............
John: What? that's inane.
Nathan: Ah... the memories.
Meanwhile in the ring all for men circle Carlos, and Main Man grabs him and throws him over the top rope to the delight of the fans! Mike Corral and Xavier Ray as One and JMC climb the top rope and start chanting PCW PCW PCW PCW, and the crowd start to join in. Blade as Saunders tells the women to get into the ring and Main Man motion to Nathan and John to come in and join them.
John: I guess they want us in the ring Nathan.
Nathan: Well let's go celebrate PCW one more time!
John: Congradulations Profesional Championship Wrestling!
John and Nathan enter the ring and everyone in the ring, including the eliminated superstars join in with the fans with a chant of "PCW PCW PCW" as the we shift to a promo air earlier in the week.
The One: They say we have to look to our past, to see into our future, and on that account, when the few remaining originals take their leave, and decide to rest in history along side the others who have moved along. When we decide to take the burden of remembering this place's history off our shoulders, and hand it to people like Jason Silver, Sky Ryder, and David Nicholls, we will give them this Hall of Fame to help remember the men who built where they now are able to prosper. With that and everything else, this Hall of Fame is not just about remembering who we were, but it’s so the young lions, the new faces never forget who we are, how we struggled and what it takes to do what’s right for this company, this history we have built.
A year ago for the battle of PCW and WPW, I asked my fellow wrestlers to unite under the banner of WPW for survival, I asked us all to fight for something better, something that we deserved. For one moment, I became the general of WPW, And now I ask all of you again to join in this idea. Some of you friends, most of you foes, I ask you to unite for one night and celebrate what we have built, what those men we give tribute to, built. Not for your own personal gains or victories but for an idea, a better way, a better way in which they have given us, in which we have given us. Tuesday September 9th, we will fight, we will struggle and we will succeed.
And in the end…
We will thank them when it’s over.
The One bows his head, and the camera pans out to a wide view of the small area and the WPW ring. The camera slowly fades to black.
Daniel: Nice words from the WPW superstar, and what a great ending to the PCW match! I like to thank Nathan and John for their time, but now it's time to move on to the next induction to the hall of fame...
Max: Come on Pollo....
Mina: Would you please again focus your attention again to the big screen for the next entrant into the WPW Hall of Fame.
“At the height of PCW’s popularity, there were two men that epitomized fan favorites. Their legendary antics, both in and out of the ring kept fans amused for many years. They formed arguably the greatest tag team even seen in professional wrestling, and would win the PCW Tag Team Titles on several occasions. As PCW closed it’s doors for the final time, it was only fitting that this man was it’s champion, having been assisted in his quest by his former tag team partner. However, upon the move to WPW, his prior dealings with the Nicaraguan Death Squad finally caught up with him and he was to soon disappear from our screens. Last seen in a Nicaraguan Work Camp, WPW is proud to induct The Dream into the Hall of Fame.
Mina: Please give around of applause for our next induction into the Hall of Fame Former PCW Tag Team Champion and former PCW World Champion THE DREAMMMMM! To induct The Dream, now standing at the podium his tag team partner The Jokester!!!!
Daniel: Like Mina said next up, to induct perhaps the star attraction in PCW, and a WPW wrestler for an all too brief period, we have gone to considerable trouble to bring this man back to you. He might not last for long so, ladies and gentlemen…..the Jokester!
Confusion from the crowd but ‘I am the Jokester’, his doctored version of ‘I Am The Walrus’ plays and Jokester comes onto the stage.
Jokester: Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m the big evil bastard that stabbed The Dream in the back more than once, but give me the right drugs and I’ll give anyone an award.
I remember the first time I saw The Dream. His first words to me were ‘Hey! I used to have a wallet like that’.
Once I regained consciousness, we became good friends and I learned of his fascination with three things…..Mr Kipling’s Battenburg Fancies, Herman and the Hermits debut album and Lavender flavor washing up liquid….
Sorry, wrong list. That’s for the 7-11 tonight.
No, 70’s UK wrestler Les Kellett, media prankster Chris Morris and Charlie K’s High Street Recreational Supplies Emporium. It was some weird violent carnal mash-up mix of these that led to the birth of El Sueno, The Dream, hit man for the Nicaraguan Death Squad, part time professional wrestler and full time lamp-post hanger outside Croydon’s finest Primary Schools.
His Tesco car park showdown with Steve ‘Saxy Boy’ Sachs is the stuff of legends, luckily captured by a poorly angled security camera. Roll VT.
30 seconds of footage is shown, the occasional arm or leg cartwheeling through the static camera shot while a 10 year old boy sits on a Volvo, eating crisps (that’s UK potato chips) and picking his nose. It finishes with a 300 lb security guard puffing his way into shot after two fleeing wrestlers. Giving up the chase, he cuffs the 10 year old and steals his bag of crisps.
It was stunning action like this that brought The Dream to the attention of the men with the big budgets, the visionaries of the wrestling world, the pioneers of top quality violence……..and Jeffrey O’Donnell.
His offer of complete character development control, freedom from America’s oppressive drug and statutory rape laws, and a promise to import Waitrose’s own brand pork pies were more than a match for Vince McMahon’s six figure offer.
The Dream signed for O’Donnell’s fledgling PCW organization where he was soon teamed with a handsome genius from Chuckletown, New Mexico, who finally carried him to a six month unbeaten run as PCW tag team champions. This was the legendary Dream Team, still banned from 43 States of the Union, most of Canada, and any Midwest town with a Taco Bell.
Sadly, this team imploded as first his partner, then the Dream himself won the PCW championship.
Always an easy winner in any fan popularity contest when The Jokester was excluded, it is my great pleasure to induct into WPW’s Hall of Fame, it’s first and finest wrestler……
THE DREAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A-MER-I-CA hits and The Dream appears at the back of the hall in the old Dream Team motorcycle and sidecar combo, its monster wheels crushing the heads of the fans in the cheap seats. He gets to the stage and falls off the bike. Jokester goes to offer him a hand to get up. At the last moment, they withdraw their hands and do the familiar thumb to nose gesture, fingers waggling furiously as if in a belly dance contest.
The Dream stops all of sudden though and points right to Jokester and smile, and grabs the mic from Jokester in a playful manner.
The Dream: It's a honor to be the first humanoid inductee into the Hall of Fame, and I will remember every moment I was hitting people square in the nuts fondly, but I even have a greater honor tonight and that is to induct this man into the Hall of Fame....
The screen starts to flicker... and the ominous voice begins to speak...
The Dream Team was not only about The Dream but about his Partner, the unique, charismatic man who’s humor and unique ability of storytelling would drive to the early success of PCW, and would become the genius behind the most talked about storyline in the history of our business “The Man in Black” saga, a plot that lead to a heel turn, the dissembling of The Dream Team, and possibly the most sinister man ever to lay a foot in our ring. Yet, all of this didn’t come to a head until this man won his World Championship and become known as a legend from that day on. However, it didn’t stop there as PCW closed it’s doors he carried on his tradition of off the wall storytelling with the likes of Tokester and X-P*c, and his brief but influential run in politics. It is everyone in WPW’s honor to induct the man who is loved by all as a Comedian, and still loved by all as a Killer…. Please rise to your feet as we induct the Legendary…. JOKESTER!
Mina: Stand up for the next entrant into the WPW Hall of Fame... The Jokester!!!!!
Jokester looks shocked for a moment, and smiles at Dream and bows his heads to the fans who all stand in ovation of The Dream Team. Both men nod at each other and head towards the ring.
Dream Team Dedication Match
Dream Team vs. Sudden Impact
Mina: And the match to follow these inductions will be a tag match, and introducing first... The Greatest Tag Team of All Time.... THE DREEEEAAAAMAMMM TEAMMMMM!!!!!!!
Daniel: Wow we get to see the legendary dream team in action here tonight Max.
Max: And that doesn't look good for their opponents, as I think the jolly Jokester has left us, because that sneer looks like Killing Joke!
Daniel: So it's the Killing Joke and Dream... this should be interesting.
Mina: And the their opponents.... Former PCW Tag Team Champions... Sudden Impact!
'Down With The Sickness' hit's the speakers and both men come running down to the ring with a chorus of boos.
Adams has rolled into the ring but Dream wastes no time as he runs at his enemy and hits a hard, swift kick before Mike even reaches his feet! The crowd boo at Adams and cheers The Dream with his first piece of offense in many a month, but he just flips them off as he attempts to go to work on Mike, but the ref gets in the way of Adams and admonishes him, telling him that he has to reach his feet first before the match can properly begin. Dream then moves over to Adams nonetheless, pushing past the referee. But he doesn’t attack Adams, instead helping him up. Dream them points to Adams feet, and then to the referee, signaling he is up.. Before bringing him down again with a Russian Leg Sweep.
Daniel: The Dream is back, losing very little of his spark.
Max: He’s still a douche to me.
Dream gets up and starts to nail Mike with a series of chops and punches as Adams lies stunned on the ground. He gets up off Adams after the Referee once again forces him off. Dream charges at Adams and hit a knee drop. He tries once more and this time it does not go according to plan. Mike moves his legs and brings Dream down in a Drop Toe Hold. Dream’s head falls and hits the ropes, bouncing off them before coming to teeter on the edge of it. The Dream lies there for a moment, as if it were almost cozy to him… Before Chris Cage Drops a foot right to his temple, bouncing him harshly into reality, then as harshly out of it again. Mike Seizes his chance and goes for a pin
1………………..
2...
No, Dream kicks out.
Daniel: Near fall by Adams.
Max: I never knew Cage and Adams were a tag team once upon a time!
Mike Adams, making his first ‘real’ return to the ring in a very long time, takes this opportunity to stretch and attempt to gain his bearings once more. Dream does the same, Both men quickly stand but Adams once again gains the upper hand as he charges Dream and hits him with another kick to the gut. Adams grabs him in a front face lock and drags him back toward his own corner to tag in his near-brother, Chris Cage, while still keeping Dream in the hold. Adams lets The Dream go as he climbs out of the ring and Cage gets in but as he makes a dash for Dream, he lowers his head and lifts Cage by the legs to flip him up and over his head in a high angle back body drop.
Daniel: Chris Cage is learning that while the dReam ahs been away, he’s not lsot all his cunning.
Max: Where did he go? Was he kidnapped in Nicaragua again?
Daniel: I’m not sure. But it is awfully nice of his captors to let him go for this night if he is!
Cage quickly gets to his feet and turns to face The Dream who wraps his arm around his opponent and pulls himself down to perform an arm drag takedown. Cage stands in his corner and looks at Shadow with a wary glance, then turns and slaps Adams on the chest making the tag. Adams is back in. Adams gets in and locks up with The Dream, They begin to circle before one gets an advantage. Dream loses his footing and soon has his head scooped under Mike’s arm in a DDT position. Dream kicks out from under himself and attains a nearly perfect horizontal shape, before planting his feet down. Adams spins around, trying to keep The Dream under Control. But ass son as he does. The Jokester enters the Ring and levels Adams with a Clothesline to the back.
Max: Now wait, what?
Daniel: You know what? I think I know what happened!
Max: Jokester interfered for no good reason, that’s what!
Daniel: No. When Dream went all horizontal, he kicked out at Jokester, who must have used it as a chance to tag.
It seems so, and the referee must have seen it as he shows no sign of stopping it. The two drop a leg each on Adams before preparing him for the next move. With nearly painful vigor, each man grabs onto a leg of Mike and pulls it up, before yanking them down in a double wishbone that seems to end Adams married life.
Killing Jokester goes for the Pin.
1……………………..
2……..
Kickout!
KJ seems to be ready and launches a devastating blow to the teeth within seconds of Adams kickout. Even The dream cringes at this.
Daniel: It seems that The Dream is still a little offput by The Killing Joke aspect of his partners nature.
Max: Whiny crybaby.
Daniel (Ignoring): It’s an interesting conundrum. I mean The Dream should know nothing but dislike for The Killing Joke due to their feud.. But it is the same man as The Jokester, who is just a huge aspect of his life.
KJ picks up Mike and throws him into the ropes, As mike returns for a big boot, he ducks and Mike is able to worm his way out of the move. But Rather than hitting the ropes again, Mike is able to pull a rather stunning neckbreaker. The crowd jump at this and Mike seizes his opportunity, He immediately launches the straight Jacket on KJ, but is powered out of it. KJ is about to get up, before he is met with a big boot onto his own face, knocking him down.
Max: Mike Adams has also been out of the retrace of Wrestling too, and he’s doing a fine Job!
Daniel: He is. And don’t forget that The Killing Joke is a Number one Contender too! … Well at least, one of them!
Mike grabs KJ and pulls him towards Cage. The two tag over and Mike Leaves the ring, throwing KJ into Cage’s capable hands. Cage pulls Killing Joke to his feet and then still holding onto his arm whips him across the ring into the ropes. KJ bounces off the ropes as Cage lunges for her but he drops down and slides between his legs. Very nimble, we must admit. Cage turns around as KJ quickly stands and Cage is caught right in the chest by a hard knife edge chop from Mr. Joke. A smile spreads across his face as KJ reels it back and nails Cage across the chest with a second knife edge chop turning him completely around. Joke charges as Cage spins and extends to nail him in the throat with a clothesline as the crowd actually give a small pop, surprising for the ferocity of the attack.
KJ let's go of Cage, who stumbles out to the center of the ring, and flops. KJ stands over his Sudden Impact Enemy, and then he looks out to the crowd with his right hand balled up in a fist. The Killing Joke has a sadistic look in his eyes. Cage uses this time to crawl over to the corner, and he sticks his hand out, attempting to reach Adams to stop with the beating. KJ just shakes his head. Cage pulls himself up with the ropes, and as KJ gets closer to him, Chris Cage rakes the eyes of Scorch. He follows up with a chop block on his right leg, and KJ falls in pain.
Daniel: Chris Cage is certainly getting back into the Game here and now.
Max: What do you expect from a future Tag Team Champion?
Daniel: True. Well not that true. He’s still got to defeat Cameron & The One.
Cage then hoists up The Killing Joke and throws him at the turnbuckle. Or rather, close to the turnbuckle where he runs into Mike Adams. Adams is ready and pulls his head down before lifting KJ up. Cage runs over too and as Adams drops him for a power bomb, Cage performs a backstabber on KJ, bringing him down with ferocity!
Daniel: The Sudden Impact!
Cage goes for the pinfall.
1……………….
2……………………
THRE
No! Killing Joke Kicks out.
As soon as Cage gets up however, he is met with a devastating Nicaraguan Kick from The Dream, who had entered into this match rather illegally. Adams also charges in now, to right this wrong, jumping over Dream and collecting the two of them, throwing them over the ropes. All four men are now down.
Daniel: This might not be a good time to mention it, but this is a good example of PCW’s inter-relativity.
Max: Not a good time?
Daniel: Well, they’re all out cold, Max.
Max: True.
Daniel: All Three of the last PCW Champions before the companies Demise are in there. First off as The Killing Joke. Not The Jokester. Who won it at PCW’s last version of their “Redemption”, their big show.
Max: What was it called?
Daniel: Can’t remember.. I wasn’t there. Then Came The Dream, Who won it From The Killing Joke. Who then lost it to Mike Adams who had a briefcase.
Max: Ah, they had a Sell Your Soul Match too?
Daniel: No, they called it a “Money In The Bank” Briefcase. They were a lot more willing to admit they stole the idea from Eric Bischoff.
Max: Or they couldn’t come up with a name!
Daniel: And then The Dream won it yet again after winning the Second Ever Tournament of Champions.
Adams and Dream have started to brawl on the outside. Adams gets an advantage and throws the Dream into the barricade. Dream topples over and half into the crowd, teetering on the edge like a car on a cliff. Adams pulls him back and his jaw clips the metal fence as he violently re enters the battle arena.
The Dream gets hoisted up groggily by Mike Adams, who turns to throw Dream into the ringpost. But as he does son, Dream shifts his weight and sends Adams right into the Ringpost. Adams drops like a stone before dream charges and drops him completely with a Spinal Tap!
Daniel: Mike is down, flalign to his own move, reversed unto him.
Max: What poetic crap!
Dream Charges into the ring, where Cage had recently gotten an upper hand over The Killing Jokester. He had draped his arm over KJ and the count had started.
1……………
2……………..
No! Dream gets there in time.
The Dream is now on a mission after helping KJ up by leaning over and pressing his boot into Cage’s neck. KJ shrugs it off like he needed no help and sees that He and the dream are up. Dream looks stupidly excited and the fans. Specifically those who wear vintage PCW attire, begin to go equally as stupid.
Max: What’s going on?
Daniel: You don’t wanna know. Neither will Chris Cage!
The Dream is now towering the Turnbuckle as The Killing “Jokester” hoists up Cage in a Powerbomb position. The Dream stand on the top, facing outwards as he signals to the crowd who, even if they are unaware of “Contain the Bees” Can see something awesome about to happen. The dream Then sails off the turnbuckle and starts to Moonsault away, But as He does, he grabs the Head of his enemy, Chris Cage. Cage si them brought down in a Moonsauting DDT/Powerbomb position known as Contain the Bees!
KJ Hooks the leg.
1…………………….
2……………………
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Ding Ding*
Daniel: The Contain the Bees for the ending.
Max: And I’m glad that the real bees didn’t get inducted into the Hall of fame. You know they used to sexually abuse the old PCW Commentators.
Mina: Here are your winners… THE DREAM TEAM!!!
KJ looks smug at this adequate and successful victory as The Dream, returning to his wrestling roots, is going spack. He jumps out of the ring and begins to overdo the idea of getting the crowd on your side, almost throwing himself over the railings to high-five the fans in row ‘A’ to row ‘G’
Daniel: Two wins for The Dream Team this week. First off inducted into the Hall of Fame by one another, and now one win over Sudden Impact, their oldest enemies.
Max: I'm being told we have another promo to get to.