Live! (Nine Million Bicycles in Beijing?)

[Snowman]

I was driving home on the highway, cool wind blowing through my hair when I was suddenly over come by tiredness. Then I saw a light up ahead in the distance and I had to stop, to rest my eyes for a bit. And then this woman came out with a candle and she showed me in to this courtyard where lots of boys were dancing, some were trying to remember but some trying to forget. It was such a lovely place, they had mirrors on the ceiling and pink champaign on ice! I called up the captain to bring me some wine and he did! (Turns out it was a bottle they had from the late 60's) Anyway, I decided to stay for dinner in the master's chambers, and we all had a stab at the meal with our steely knives but just couldn't kill the beast. The last thing I remember, I was heading for the door because I felt as though I had to find the way back to the place I was before. But the night man simply said "relax". Then he told me that I could check out whenever I liked but I could never leave.

Oh wait...

Sorry, that's actually the plot of "Hotel California" by the Eagles. My bad.


WPW Sunday Night Live!
August 17th, 2008
Capitol Theatre
Toronto, ON

We all expected the Live! opening ceremony to be spectacular, and we weren't dissapointed! The ceremony started with an introduction to the history of WPW, but they cleverly left out all the bad stuff about Dan Murph ever holding a title. After the wonderful presentation, Blade and Beno took center stage and sang their rendition of "Smack My Bitch Up", but rumour has it that they were simply lip-sycning for the real singers who weren't deemed cute enough, Chris Cage and Jerimiah Ranks. After what we thought was a stunning vocal display by the LaVignes, we were treated to a real bang when a few Chinese guys started running around the ring making "Swoosh" noises while holding sparklers. This lasted for 25 minutes or so until some more Chinese people ran down and started and dancing in perfect synchronisation.

For a while I wondered how the new Chinese head of Live! events, Choo Wang San, had managed make the event so flawless. But then one of the many dancers made the tiny mistake of pivoting on his left foot instead of his right foot, which then directly resulted in the shooting of his entire family and village. It was at that point I remembered that China was a dictatorship that went to great and horrific lengths to make this edition of Live! so spectacular that we forgot, even if it is just for a moment, about the horrible events that the very same dictatorship had caused in the past and even what took place in order for this show to actually happen.

Still, the dancing was pretty.


Mike Corral Vs. T-Dog
Fuck it. Stevie Richards won.


Name Hunter & Sly Vs. Blade LaVigne & Beno
I tried to come up with something amusing for this match but I couldn't. So instead, I decided to have a conversation with SmarterChild.


Martin | I'm Kung-Fu, bitches! says (02:15):
Hey.


SmarterChild says (02:15):
Hey. What's up?


Martin | I'm Kung-Fu, bitches! says (02:15):
Not much.


SmarterChild says (02:15):
Same here.


Martin | I'm Kung-Fu, bitches! says (02:16):
Cool.


SmarterChild says (02:16):
Excellent.


Martin | I'm Kung-Fu, bitches! says (02:16):
....bye.


SmarterChild says (02:16):
Bye Martin. Hope to see you again soon.


Oh yeah, Blade and Beno won.



Aidan Balor Vs. El Psycho Diabolo
This match was so boring that WPW had to show highlights from the Batista vs John Cena fued during the match in a futile attempt to draw attention away from how pathetic the match happening in the ring was. Unsuprisingly, it didn't work and WPW fans started chanting "Change the channel", despite this being an un-televised live event. WPW officials decided to end the match prematurely and both men left the ring and went up the ramp. (Hopefully to their slow and painful deaths)



TK Vs. Jamie Parker
TK tried to excecute all 1,006 holds that he apparantly knows (he did genuinly claim this exact number, before having sex with his hot girlfriend*, who apparantly wears read caps that reach her shoulders). Unfortunately, he only got to 1,005 when the effects of the Tylanol wore off and the member of the crowd he grabbed quickly pulled his pants back up and ran for his life. TK turned around and walked in to the most devistating move in wrestling history: the Woman's Slap, which was of course excecuted by Jamie Parker who then covered the Seattle traitor for the 3 count.


*WPW Disclaimer: By "hot girlfriend", WPW means fugly ass bitch



Desmond Troy Vs. Scorch
Scorch won within like 5 seconds (and baring in mind 3 of those seconds were used up by the ref counting, that's not too bad a time)

Pretty poor show this week. But on the brightside, anyone who didn't RP will be shipped off to peform in a new very small and exclusive WPW tour in Georgia.

Now, if you will excuse me...It is half past two in the morning and Snowy needs his beauty sleep if his plan to marry Keira Knightley is to unfold as planned tomorrow.

[blade13]

Good show, the begining was confusing but then I saw "oh yeah Blade and Beno won.

[Rip Skelter]

Good show, the begining was confusing but then I saw "oh yeah Blade and Beno won.

Wait, what?... it stopped being confusing when you won?

Back to the point... a so-so Live with most of the no-shows, but overall the comedy saved it.

[Scorch]

Honestly, Live did not click with me this week. I imagine I will end up in the minority, but it kind of felt like you had ideas for the jokes, but then when it came to the matches you did not want to bother with them. It did not flow as well as it should in my view. It kind of seemed like the first half could have been a rumor mill post, and the actual show, left to another writer.

I know that comes off negative, but like I said the show did not click with me at all. If people want to say it was because of the lack of matches with rps, okay. Blame others for it, but like it said this show was lacking for whatever reason.

[blade13]

Rip Skelter, I ment the beginning was confusing not the whole thing. Yeah I agree with Scorch.

[Rip Skelter]

Rip Skelter, I ment the beginning was confusing not the whole thing. Yeah I agree with Scorch.

Yet again, a joke from me is taken seriously, maybe I should just stop trying.

[blade13]

Well maybe you should say lol or haha at the end. I didnt know it was a joke.

My bad, but yeah not the best Live..

[Snowman]

We get it, Blade.


I know that comes off negative, but like I said the show did not click with me at all. If people want to say it was because of the lack of matches with rps, okay. Blame others for it, but like it said this show was lacking for whatever reason.

No, you'e absolutely right. When it came to the matches I genuinly couldn't be bothered. The reason for this was indeed that I, alone, will probably end up single-handedly posting more RPs than the entire Live roster this week. So, I'm going to happily blame others for me not being bothered.

HOWEVER, I blame myself for not being able to put up a decent show in terms of matches, regardless of the show of RPs. That is my fault, not anybody else's.

[Gravity]

I liked it....

I mean yeah, the RPers were fan-fucking-tastic at not showing up, but I enjoy Snowy's brand of humor so I found it a fairly acceptable show.

[Aperama]

Another Mike Adamle original!

It sucks that I came up with the premise for the only match that actually got written up, though.

We can do better. If everyone RP'd, I guarantee this would've been a topnotch show. We had two matches with RP battles - both were completely lopsided, and one involved the same guy RPing for all four chara..

One involved several family members RPing against one another.

But yeah, Live-heads really should look at stepping up their game lately, I've noticed it's a bit of a chronic problem - and, this show aside, given most of the action involved a fakebie Olympics ceremony (loved it, personally) - the shows haven't been bad enough to make people not want to come back. We've also been booking a whole heap of new people who aren't RPing, which just sucks! Ah well. As a show on itself, I give it three out of ten. I come for the action, though, and given this one really had none.. well. I think it shows enough as to why who won what, though. (The one RP battle, that is, though I dislike the burying.)

[TK15GOD]

i guess call dondrae ugly.

youre just jealous...

on another note...

i suck...

[Gunnar Brian]

TK's girl reminds me why I choose to remain single :P

[Snowman]

i guess call dondrae ugly.

youre just jealous...

I actually called her fugly.

And by the way, this was before I saw the picture in the sign up so don't take it as a genuine attack at whoever it is :)

[legendaryken]

I'm with Snowy on this one. If not enough people RP, then the writer should feel free to take it in whatever direction they want, I reckon. It was wryly amusing.

[Hunter11]

I lost my debut match, oh well. I guess I will try harder next time :)

[JasonSilverTX]

I agree with the idea of writer having free range on the matches when someone does not rp.

If they can't be bothered to put in the effort to write an rp
(which even if they wrote 5 lines theyposted something), then why should the writer be bothered to write their match?

Its the same if one person rp's but their opponent doesn't, thenwe have squash matches because if they can't be bothered torp, or at least give anexcuse as towhy, then why should they be made to look good intheir match?

Anyways, good Live!, it just could have been alot better.

[Spaz]

I'm with Snowy on this one. If not enough people RP, then the writer should feel free to take it in whatever direction they want, I reckon. It was wryly amusing.

I'm sorry Ken, But I can't agree with that. I know that people not rping puts a damper on things, but you are not writing a five star match for them, you are writing a very short description. There have been many times that the writer of Live could put SOMETHING up for two people who didn't RP. I mean, the AIM/YIM/MSN conversation could have been put in one of those spots. Blade/Beno/Sly/Name Hunter, though being the same per.... family of people, at least posted roleplays, and all they got was an AIM conversation?

Snowy, I've liked your other Sunday Night Lives, but honestly, if you couldn't be bothered this week, you should have handed it over to someone else. Also, we never questioned your drive to rp, so the comment....


The reason for this was indeed that I, alone, will probably end up single-handedly posting more RPs than the entire Live roster this week.

...is really moot.

Small Review

I really liked the beginning, it was very well done, even though it was Hotel California, I thought it was a nice touch, along with the Chinese Live intro, but the beginning was really tainted by the quality of the matches.

[Snowman]

Just to clarify, I'm not trying to justify the lack of action. I should have written something solid, and me not doing so is all my fault. But the lack of motivation is all done to the fact that we got like 4 RPs

[APostingGod]

How much criticism do you think TNT would get, if anyone actually read any of it?

[Aperama]

Nobody noticed last week that Scorch had a segment about coming out on his own, to the agreement of Sophie, and Sophie was then involved throughout the match. Cough.

People read the shows! What are you talking about!

[Snowman]

I noticed.

But mainly cause you kept talking about it :P

[Scorch]

Who is to say Scorch was talking about the match in that conversation he had?

People read somethings, people skip other things it happens. I too would prefer more readers, but as a whole we need to figure out ways to make that happen. Because simply pointing out the lack of readers, does not work.