Snowman
07-07-2008, 04:50 PM
Sorry for the delay, there have been a few problems this week.
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Serving Suggestion
Have you tried reading WPW Live in the voice of Christopher Walken?
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Dear people of the interweb,
In the beginning, life was dull. Then God created WPW Live and there was much rejoicing. By taking elements of the past and elements of the future and combining them to make something not quite as good as either, WPW Live revolutionised entertainment and changed the course of human history itself. Now through the miracle of Internet Explorer, Firefox or even Safari for all the young students with facial hair, you can now witness Live in all of its disturbingly beautiful glory. Get ready to bare witness and possibly stand up in court and testify against such WPW superstars as Scorch, Mike Corral, Salvador Karver and Frank "The American Ninja" (rumoured to be God's personal favourite).
So prepare yourself as we enter the magical realm of WPW Live in order to satisfy that compulsion for spontanious singing and/or story telling that has you in thrall. Oh and there is also some wrestling involved.
Sincerely,
That voice in your head who talks to you when you read stuff.
WPW Sunday Night Live!
July 7th, 2008
Billy Gebbie Arena
Alexandra, ON
Psymon Starks Vs. Jason Silver
Live started off extremely well this week with this match being a nice surprise for all the fans in attendance. It seemed as though the two men really built up a lot of drive trough the week because both were determined to win, and neither was willing to loose. Psymon got the upper hand very early on as he took advantage of a distracted Silver (confused by the fans bursting in to song and repeatedly reciting lines from Rihanna's smash hit "Umbrella". It was later realised that we were just in Canada and the word "Eh" gets thrown around alot.) Psymon went to work on Silver and used the early advantage to pull of some high risk moves wich payed off big. Starks connected with a series of leg drops, sentons and even moonsaults. But the turning point in the match came when Starks tried to take risk-taking to an even higher level when he went up top in hope of pulling off his trademark Psycho-Hurricane (720 DDT) but Silver quickly caught his opponent in mid air and drove him head-first in to the mat with sickening force in what appeared to be a poorly delivered one-armed slam. From that point onward it only went downhill for Starks. Jason tried to make up for the previous botched move by connecting with a series of perfect suplexes (not perfect-plexes!), followed by a beautifully executed lifting DDT. Silver made sure there was no way Starks would get back up or break a 3 count and delivered his finishing move, The Psychotic Episode. But Jason didn't pin his opponent then and there, instead he decided to make his point with an added exclamation mark. He climbed the turnbuckle and took a massive risk of his own as his body spiraled through the air and connected with Best Corkscrew Moonsault Ever before covering Psymon for the 1-2-3.
Frank 'The American Ninja' Vs Chris Cage
This match was a quick and exciting one, that went back and forth with both men getting the upper hand several times and then loosing it shortly after. The end came rather abruptly when Frank connected with a superkick, knocking Cage off of his feet. With Cage recovering, Frank walked over to the corner of the ring and pulled out a small plastic bag full of white powder and tried to snort it through his ninja mask and failed miserably. Cage, using the ring ropes, managed to pull himself up in time to try and take advantage of his distracted opponent but as he turned Frank around, the white powder flied through the air and in to his eyes, blinding him for a few moments. Frank, rather confused as to what just happened, quickly grabbed Cage as he tried to escape the ring and rolled him up in a School Boy Pin getting a quick 3 count and picking up the win.
Justin Dreamer Vs. Sal Karver
This match seemed to pass very quickly and wasn't quite as exciting as some of the fans had hoped it would have been. But luckily for WPW, the fans at this particular event were Canadian so they just distracted the audiance with some shiny metallic objects while Karver and Dreamer battled it out in the ring. By the time I realised that the magical item a security guard was showing me was in fact not some mystical object given to WPW management by God himself, but simply a spoon, I noticed that Karver appeared to be covering Dreamer for the pin. I'm not entirely sure what happened during the match but I do know two things.
1) It was Karver's hand that was raised at the end of the match.
2) Spoons have the ability to make things appear larger than the actually are. So watch out for that.
WPWCGCRRLBTFtFSTiC Match
Ryuu Tsukigami Vs. Spaz
Ryuu made his way from the back to a mixed reception from the crowd, who appeared to have used up all their Asian chants in cheering on Frank, who was oblivious to them anyway. Ryuu bowed to a Japanese couple in the crowd who were, unsurprisingly, taking lots of photographs of everything. God knows they needed something to take photos of in Canada with there being nothing else of interest. Anyway, as Ryuu posed for photos with the Japanese couple, Spaz tried a sneak attack, but just as he was about to club Ryuu in the back, the flash from the camera momentarily blinded him, and the garbled ranting of the Japanese couple alerted Ryuu to Spaz’s presence. Ryuu turned and grabbed Spaz by the nape of the neck and rolled him into the ring. He followed him in by vaulting over the ropes and landed a leg drop on his opponent as he came in. Ryuu stood and flipped off the rest of the crowd, but bowed again to his Japanese compatriots. He then turned and picked Spaz up into a scoop slam. He headed to the top rope and showed remarkable agility for a man of his size by hitting a crossbody onto Spaz as he was getting to his feet. Spazz rolled through the move into a pin attempt, but was unable to gain any serious leverage and Ryuu kicked out easily. After Ryuu had practically dominated the entirety of the match, he grabbed Spaz in a wrist lock suplex, rushed him to the turnbuckle, crashing his back into it. He then let go of the hold, and placed Spaz on the top rope, jumped to the middle rope and German Suplexed Spaz back to the mat, jumping down on top of his opponent to secure the pinfall and his first win in the Florida Title Tournament, or WPWCGRRLBTFtFSTiC for short.
WPWCGCRRLBTFtFSTiC Match
Gunnar Brian Vs. Forsaken
With both entrances complete, Gunnar and Forsaken stood across the ring from each other, Gunnar still with a bandage covering a small portion of his head. Both men took tentative steps towards each other, before Gunnar charged into Forsaken and took him to the mat in a heap. The two men rolled around trading punches, until Forsaken got the advantage and hit a heavy blow to the bandaged head of Gunnar. Forsaken took the chance to roll out of the ring and gather his thoughts, while Gunnar sat in the ring glaring at his opponent. Forsaken climbed back onto the apron, only to see Gunnar jump up and attempt to clothesline him off. Forsaken had it scouted, however, and ducked under it driving his shoulder into the solar plexus of Gunnar instead. Forsaken jumped over the top rope and delivered an elbow to the back of Gunnar’s neck, dropping him to the mat. Forsaken dragged his opponent to the middle of the ring and used the calmness he had been talking about to work over the elbow of Gunnar, alternating between locking in elbow bars and stomping on the elbow. One blow, however, proved to be a step too far as it enraged Gunnar into a flurry of activity which left Forsaken on the mat sporting a bust nose following a vicious looking headbutt. Gunnar picks up a dazed Forsaken and hits him with a “Raven Coloured Streak” to pick up the pinfall victory. The Japanese couple in the crowd are none too pleased as they take pictures of Gunnar standing over Forsaken, and are even less so when Gunnar moves towards them and grabs their camera, smashing it to the ground.
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INTERMISSION
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Who's that Pokemon?
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INTERMISSION
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Scorch Vs. Mike Corral
Following a short recess, Scorch made his way to the ring, where Mike Corral was already waiting, holding up one finger on each hand to signify that the score was 1 win each in their previous encounters. Scorch seemed totally unfazed, either by that or the less than courteous reception from the retarded, sorry I mean Canadian, fans. The match started with the fans continually reminding Scorch of the acts of sexual gratification they believed him to impart on James Cassius. Scorch was quick to reinforce why he was the firm favourite in the match as he took the early advantage, bringing Mike to the mat with a series of hiptosses as Corral charged him repeatedly. After his third grounding, Corral lay on his back and held his ribs, evidently finding it difficult to breath. This was all the invitation Scorch needed as he proceeded to work away on the ribs of his opponent with a series of punches and stomps. As the referee dragged Scorch away, Corral forced himself to his knees, leaning over heavily and struggling for breath. Scorch stepped between the ropes and stood facing the ring for a moment as Corral got to his feet. Then, Scorch turned and started to walk up the ramp. He only made it a few paces, however, before he was floored by Mike Corral launching himself over the top rope. Corral winced as he picked Scorch up and rolled him back into the ring. Corral stepped between the ropes and climbed to the top turnbuckle, before coming off with a 720 splash that connected straight into Scorch’s chest. It was unclear who had suffered more from the impact though, as Corral was unable to move the few feet to cover the former WPW champion. Finally, he was able to manoeuvre himself into position, but Scorch kicked out easily after only a one count. Scorch was the first to get to his feet, and he whipped Corral into the corner, before following up with the “Spark”, a running knee lift that was delivered into straight into the ribs of Corral. Scorch pulled Mike to the middle of the ring, and went back to the corner, climbing to the top rope. When he came off, he hit a perfect firebomb. With Corral howling in pain as Scorch’s knee and elbow hit his ribs, Scorch dropped to the mat for a cover, but broke the count on two, before getting up and walking to the back, the referee reaching a ten count just as Scorch disappeared behind the curtain. The crowd reaction roused Corral from his state on the floor, and he bravely stood and held one arm aloft, the other covering his battered ribcage.
Credits
First 3 matches: Snowman
Last 3 matches: Duff
Poor attempts at comedy: Snowman
Ooh look, tinfoil. Shiny.
__________________________________________________
Serving Suggestion
Have you tried reading WPW Live in the voice of Christopher Walken?
__________________________________________________
Dear people of the interweb,
In the beginning, life was dull. Then God created WPW Live and there was much rejoicing. By taking elements of the past and elements of the future and combining them to make something not quite as good as either, WPW Live revolutionised entertainment and changed the course of human history itself. Now through the miracle of Internet Explorer, Firefox or even Safari for all the young students with facial hair, you can now witness Live in all of its disturbingly beautiful glory. Get ready to bare witness and possibly stand up in court and testify against such WPW superstars as Scorch, Mike Corral, Salvador Karver and Frank "The American Ninja" (rumoured to be God's personal favourite).
So prepare yourself as we enter the magical realm of WPW Live in order to satisfy that compulsion for spontanious singing and/or story telling that has you in thrall. Oh and there is also some wrestling involved.
Sincerely,
That voice in your head who talks to you when you read stuff.
WPW Sunday Night Live!
July 7th, 2008
Billy Gebbie Arena
Alexandra, ON
Psymon Starks Vs. Jason Silver
Live started off extremely well this week with this match being a nice surprise for all the fans in attendance. It seemed as though the two men really built up a lot of drive trough the week because both were determined to win, and neither was willing to loose. Psymon got the upper hand very early on as he took advantage of a distracted Silver (confused by the fans bursting in to song and repeatedly reciting lines from Rihanna's smash hit "Umbrella". It was later realised that we were just in Canada and the word "Eh" gets thrown around alot.) Psymon went to work on Silver and used the early advantage to pull of some high risk moves wich payed off big. Starks connected with a series of leg drops, sentons and even moonsaults. But the turning point in the match came when Starks tried to take risk-taking to an even higher level when he went up top in hope of pulling off his trademark Psycho-Hurricane (720 DDT) but Silver quickly caught his opponent in mid air and drove him head-first in to the mat with sickening force in what appeared to be a poorly delivered one-armed slam. From that point onward it only went downhill for Starks. Jason tried to make up for the previous botched move by connecting with a series of perfect suplexes (not perfect-plexes!), followed by a beautifully executed lifting DDT. Silver made sure there was no way Starks would get back up or break a 3 count and delivered his finishing move, The Psychotic Episode. But Jason didn't pin his opponent then and there, instead he decided to make his point with an added exclamation mark. He climbed the turnbuckle and took a massive risk of his own as his body spiraled through the air and connected with Best Corkscrew Moonsault Ever before covering Psymon for the 1-2-3.
Frank 'The American Ninja' Vs Chris Cage
This match was a quick and exciting one, that went back and forth with both men getting the upper hand several times and then loosing it shortly after. The end came rather abruptly when Frank connected with a superkick, knocking Cage off of his feet. With Cage recovering, Frank walked over to the corner of the ring and pulled out a small plastic bag full of white powder and tried to snort it through his ninja mask and failed miserably. Cage, using the ring ropes, managed to pull himself up in time to try and take advantage of his distracted opponent but as he turned Frank around, the white powder flied through the air and in to his eyes, blinding him for a few moments. Frank, rather confused as to what just happened, quickly grabbed Cage as he tried to escape the ring and rolled him up in a School Boy Pin getting a quick 3 count and picking up the win.
Justin Dreamer Vs. Sal Karver
This match seemed to pass very quickly and wasn't quite as exciting as some of the fans had hoped it would have been. But luckily for WPW, the fans at this particular event were Canadian so they just distracted the audiance with some shiny metallic objects while Karver and Dreamer battled it out in the ring. By the time I realised that the magical item a security guard was showing me was in fact not some mystical object given to WPW management by God himself, but simply a spoon, I noticed that Karver appeared to be covering Dreamer for the pin. I'm not entirely sure what happened during the match but I do know two things.
1) It was Karver's hand that was raised at the end of the match.
2) Spoons have the ability to make things appear larger than the actually are. So watch out for that.
WPWCGCRRLBTFtFSTiC Match
Ryuu Tsukigami Vs. Spaz
Ryuu made his way from the back to a mixed reception from the crowd, who appeared to have used up all their Asian chants in cheering on Frank, who was oblivious to them anyway. Ryuu bowed to a Japanese couple in the crowd who were, unsurprisingly, taking lots of photographs of everything. God knows they needed something to take photos of in Canada with there being nothing else of interest. Anyway, as Ryuu posed for photos with the Japanese couple, Spaz tried a sneak attack, but just as he was about to club Ryuu in the back, the flash from the camera momentarily blinded him, and the garbled ranting of the Japanese couple alerted Ryuu to Spaz’s presence. Ryuu turned and grabbed Spaz by the nape of the neck and rolled him into the ring. He followed him in by vaulting over the ropes and landed a leg drop on his opponent as he came in. Ryuu stood and flipped off the rest of the crowd, but bowed again to his Japanese compatriots. He then turned and picked Spaz up into a scoop slam. He headed to the top rope and showed remarkable agility for a man of his size by hitting a crossbody onto Spaz as he was getting to his feet. Spazz rolled through the move into a pin attempt, but was unable to gain any serious leverage and Ryuu kicked out easily. After Ryuu had practically dominated the entirety of the match, he grabbed Spaz in a wrist lock suplex, rushed him to the turnbuckle, crashing his back into it. He then let go of the hold, and placed Spaz on the top rope, jumped to the middle rope and German Suplexed Spaz back to the mat, jumping down on top of his opponent to secure the pinfall and his first win in the Florida Title Tournament, or WPWCGRRLBTFtFSTiC for short.
WPWCGCRRLBTFtFSTiC Match
Gunnar Brian Vs. Forsaken
With both entrances complete, Gunnar and Forsaken stood across the ring from each other, Gunnar still with a bandage covering a small portion of his head. Both men took tentative steps towards each other, before Gunnar charged into Forsaken and took him to the mat in a heap. The two men rolled around trading punches, until Forsaken got the advantage and hit a heavy blow to the bandaged head of Gunnar. Forsaken took the chance to roll out of the ring and gather his thoughts, while Gunnar sat in the ring glaring at his opponent. Forsaken climbed back onto the apron, only to see Gunnar jump up and attempt to clothesline him off. Forsaken had it scouted, however, and ducked under it driving his shoulder into the solar plexus of Gunnar instead. Forsaken jumped over the top rope and delivered an elbow to the back of Gunnar’s neck, dropping him to the mat. Forsaken dragged his opponent to the middle of the ring and used the calmness he had been talking about to work over the elbow of Gunnar, alternating between locking in elbow bars and stomping on the elbow. One blow, however, proved to be a step too far as it enraged Gunnar into a flurry of activity which left Forsaken on the mat sporting a bust nose following a vicious looking headbutt. Gunnar picks up a dazed Forsaken and hits him with a “Raven Coloured Streak” to pick up the pinfall victory. The Japanese couple in the crowd are none too pleased as they take pictures of Gunnar standing over Forsaken, and are even less so when Gunnar moves towards them and grabs their camera, smashing it to the ground.
__________________________________________________
INTERMISSION
__________________________________________________
Who's that Pokemon?
__________________________________________________
INTERMISSION
__________________________________________________
Scorch Vs. Mike Corral
Following a short recess, Scorch made his way to the ring, where Mike Corral was already waiting, holding up one finger on each hand to signify that the score was 1 win each in their previous encounters. Scorch seemed totally unfazed, either by that or the less than courteous reception from the retarded, sorry I mean Canadian, fans. The match started with the fans continually reminding Scorch of the acts of sexual gratification they believed him to impart on James Cassius. Scorch was quick to reinforce why he was the firm favourite in the match as he took the early advantage, bringing Mike to the mat with a series of hiptosses as Corral charged him repeatedly. After his third grounding, Corral lay on his back and held his ribs, evidently finding it difficult to breath. This was all the invitation Scorch needed as he proceeded to work away on the ribs of his opponent with a series of punches and stomps. As the referee dragged Scorch away, Corral forced himself to his knees, leaning over heavily and struggling for breath. Scorch stepped between the ropes and stood facing the ring for a moment as Corral got to his feet. Then, Scorch turned and started to walk up the ramp. He only made it a few paces, however, before he was floored by Mike Corral launching himself over the top rope. Corral winced as he picked Scorch up and rolled him back into the ring. Corral stepped between the ropes and climbed to the top turnbuckle, before coming off with a 720 splash that connected straight into Scorch’s chest. It was unclear who had suffered more from the impact though, as Corral was unable to move the few feet to cover the former WPW champion. Finally, he was able to manoeuvre himself into position, but Scorch kicked out easily after only a one count. Scorch was the first to get to his feet, and he whipped Corral into the corner, before following up with the “Spark”, a running knee lift that was delivered into straight into the ribs of Corral. Scorch pulled Mike to the middle of the ring, and went back to the corner, climbing to the top rope. When he came off, he hit a perfect firebomb. With Corral howling in pain as Scorch’s knee and elbow hit his ribs, Scorch dropped to the mat for a cover, but broke the count on two, before getting up and walking to the back, the referee reaching a ten count just as Scorch disappeared behind the curtain. The crowd reaction roused Corral from his state on the floor, and he bravely stood and held one arm aloft, the other covering his battered ribcage.
Credits
First 3 matches: Snowman
Last 3 matches: Duff
Poor attempts at comedy: Snowman
Ooh look, tinfoil. Shiny.