Prometheus
06-04-2008, 01:40 AM
WPW Tuesday Night Turmoil
June 3rd, 2008
Hilton Hotel Crystal Ballroom
Vancouver, BC
The typical TNT show highlight package has been cut for the addition of live camera footage of a rabid Canadian crowd. As the camera zooms all over, showcasing as many rabid Canucks as possible, they zoom up, showing the incredibly high roof of the Crystal Ballroom, then zoom down to Max Stockton and Daniel Justice, sitting live at commentary.
Daniel: Welcome, everybody, to WPW's first ever show in Canada!
Max: These Canadians sure know how to have a good time, Danny. I had no idea. They've got so much food. It's like American food. Only fattier! I really.. I never would have guessed that the Canadians would be even worse eaters than us!
Daniel: I think it's that they exercise more. Anyway.. what a show we've got for the Canadian fans tonight! Tonight's theme? Redemption.
Max: ... From Redemption! I mean, except for the first match. Two returnees, neither of which made it to the show. Lazy bastards.
Daniel: Nick Comoroto and Mike Corral were backstage, I'll have you know - and they want a piece of each other. But.. I think it's going to be more interesting to see how the crowd reacts to our new Canadian champion, Sky Ryder, going against the man who almost cinched the title away from him at Redemption, Canada's own.. Spaz!
Max: Yeah, that match will be a train wreck. Uh. I mean.. a good train wreck. Anyway. After that.. uh.. Smike and Parker. What's that about, anyway?
Daniel: I hear it's Carlos' way of seeing how far removed Parker is from the Florida State division, by putting him in a match with.. well, one of the former number one contenders to the gold! But.. The match after it is one I think a lot of people will be dying to see.
Max: Gunnar Brian and Mykal Adams. I've gotta admit, I'm excited, too.
Daniel: You actually know? What's got you more excited? The competition? The spirit? The energy?
Max: The chance to see Mykal Adams never appear on this show again! LIVE! Man, Carlos cracks me up sometimes. Wait, we were talking about Redemption?
Daniel: That's for sure. Tag match. One side.. Karver, Inc. Michael Karver and Sal Karver both lost last week.. to who? Their opponents tonight, the tag team of Martin Cameron and The One! I've been hearing a little backstage chatter that maybe The One and Martin Cameron have been looking to tag up together anyway, so this'll definitely be one worth recording, folks.
Max: One, two, three, four.. Okay, so that's five matches, so that's our main event?
Daniel: No! It's our first show in Canada, so we want to pull it off with a bang, with some zazz.. SIX matches tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Our main event? The man who Sold his Soul.. Dan Murph.. faces the one, the only..
Max: EL POLLO?!??
Daniel: SCORCH! This is another match you don't see every week, folks, because Scorch.. well, he's bloodthirsty of late. But he's got an absolute giant to take down in Dan Murph.. and Dan Murph's looking to prove himself!
Max: Anyway, that's enough chatter for now. Let's go to the lovely Mina Henderson.. Aw, shit, that's your line.
Daniel: And what a match we’ve got to celebrate our first ever show North of the border. Two returning superstars – Nick Comoroto and Mike ‘The Saint’ Corral.
Max: Who? Never heard of ‘em. We’re coming off the biggest night of the year with another glorious JMC victory and our opening match is John Doe versus Barry Has been. It’s not good enough, I tells ya.
Daniel: That’s not fair. These two men will be anxious to show why they used to thrill the Florida crowds, Corral with his mastery of a hundred different finishers, none of them the Bronco Buster, and Comoroto with whatever he used to do.
Here’s Mina to introduce our two contestants.
Mina: Our opening match is to be decided by one fall and is between, weighing in at 243lbs and hailing from San Diego, California, Mike……the Saint…..Corral!
Triumph by the Wu Tang Clan hits and Corral emerges, not in his usual ‘Enlightenment’ T shirt, but in a Maple Leaf shirt which encourages some cheers from the unfamiliar crowd.
Mike sighs a little, expecting a bit more from his return to WPW. He walks to the ring, not interacting with the fans that do try and make contact. He slides under the bottom rope and climbs the turnbuckle much the same as he did in his previous run with the company.
Mina: His opponent, weighing in at 235lbs and hailing from Trenton New Jersey……no……the Heart of Canada, he is Niiiiiick Comorooooooooto!
Riot by Three Days Grace starts up for a few seconds but Como only emerges to poke his head through the curtain and say ‘No- Not that one’
The music stops and within a couple of seconds a new tune starts – the overture from 2112 by Canada’s favorite’s, Rush.
The crowd goes wild and Nick Comoroto steps through the curtain in full Mountie uniform.
Daniel: Welcome back, Nick Comoroto, the eternal crowd pleaser.
Como slaps hands with every fan on the railing as he makes his way to the ring.
Mike Corral gets up from his crouch in the corner and exchanges some words with referee Todd Franklin, presumably about the time that Comoroto is taking to get to the ring. Franklin shrugs and indicates that he can’t count Comoroto out until the bell rings. He eventually gets to the ropes and takes off his ever present golden locket and hands it to his friend and manager figure, Harry Alanson, then strips off his Mountie uniform.
As Alanson exits the ring, Corral’s patience finally snaps and he charges at Comoroto, clubbing him on the back as he hands his jacket to the timekeeper.
Ding Ding
Corral grabs Comoroto and lands a Belly to Back Suplex, then strips off his Mountie pants, winds them round Como’s neck and uses them as a garrote.
Todd Franklin warns Corral and starts a five count, but Corral discards the pants at the count of three and applies a Rear Naked Choke instead. Como struggles for a while then manages to rise and pull Corral over his shoulder.
Daniel: And we’re off! Nick Comoroto was in trouble but managed to reverse and neither of these men have forgotten the tricks of their trade.
Max: Thank the Lord that Nick Comoroto didn’t forget his wrestling tights. I’m not sure that my stomach could stand that after that Mexican burrito. I didn’t know you could get authentic Mexican food in Canada. I thought it’d be all the old American favorites like pizza or chop suey.
Como drops an elbow then pulls Corral to his feet with a wrist lock. He hyperextends the wrist, then twists, facing Corral to flip over rather than break his arm. Corral manages to wrench his arm free and sweeps Comoroto’s legs from under him. He hits the mat with a loud thump. Corral scrabbles to try and grab Como’s legs but Como spider walks away and uses the ropes to get back to his feet.
Daniel: Both these men are students of the game. I don’t know if anyone else in WPW has more ability than Mike Corral or Nick Comoroto.
Max: You need more than ability to win titles, Daniel. You need strength, you need luck and you need a small yellow warthog named Kenneth.
Daniel: Brain skipped a track there, Max. Too much coffee with that burrito.
Como goes for a Running High Knee but Corral has time to step aside and Como’s leg goes over the top rope. Corral Gets him in a headlock and DDT’s him to the mat, following up with a cover.
1…………….2…….Comoroto gets a shoulder up.
Corral doesn’t persist with the cover, instead pulling Como up by the neck then delivering an XXX-Plex (A Cross Arm German Suplex)
Comoroto bounces off the mat and escapes under the bottom rope.
Daniel: This Canadian crowd is beginning to warm to the WPW experience. How soon can it be before they forget the words Montreal and screwjob.
Max: Why? What happened there?
Daniel: You’re supposed to be the expert, Max. Surely you know the story of The Hitman and the Heartbreak Kid?
Max: Is that the one about the magic beans and the giant with the super sense of smell?
Como sees Comoroto slowly get to his feet and decides on a Heat Seeking Missile Dive to the outside. He catches Como on the upper body and Como’s head bounces off the thin mat that covers the concrete ring surround.
Daniel: High risk move from Corral, but it paid off. He just needs to get Como back in the ring and the fat lady will start singing.
Franklin starts his count-out just giving Corral enough time to recover and roll Como back in the ring. Corral goes to the top rope and launches a Charger-sault – a High Elevation Moonsault Legdrop. Como seems to react with a sixth sense and rolls away at the last second so that Corral hits bare mat twisting his knee in the process. Corral grabs his right leg and Como spots the reaction so goes straight for a Boston Crab, dropping the left leg to concentrate on the damaged right leg.
Corral yells in pain.
Daniel: There’s that momentum shift Comoroto was looking for. He looked dead and buried but now it’s Corral who is on the edge of defeat.
Comoroto applies more pressure and Todd Franklin asks Corral the question. He shakes his head and stretches his fingertips to their extremities until……..finally…….he just brushes the bottom rope and Franklin calls for a break.
Como eventually agrees to release but, as Corral gets back up, he goes straight for a Single Leg Takedown. Corral stays on his back and plants his boot on Como’s forehead to thrust him away. Como looses his grip and flies backwards, rebounds off the rope and walks straight back into a Mafia Kick.
Daniel: That was with his injured leg! Both men giving their all to shine in their return to WPW.
Como again rebounds off the rope and Corral catches him with the Triple X – Release Dragon Suplex into an Unprettier. Como flops over and Corral covers.
1………………
2………………
3………………
Ding Ding
Mina: Your winner, Mike ……the Saint…….Corral.
The crowd give a muted response to Corral’s victory as Harry Alanson gets in the ring to check on his fallen employer. Corral snatches his raised hand back from Todd Franklin and quickly gets out rather than face the monster manager. He shows off his Maple Leaf shirt as he makes his way backstage and gets some applause while the Wu Tang Clan track plays on the PA.
Daniel: Fine start to the program. What can I do to make your evening more complete now, Max?
Max: A camera backstage in the diva’s locker room?
Daniel: Your wish is my command.
Backstage, Sophie Cassius enters the divas’ locker room with Sexxxie Goregous and Amanda Rhyme. A huge glass of fruit smoothie festooned with ribbons and cocktail sticks sits on a table. Sophie picks up the card lying against the glass and reads:
‘For the lovely Sophie. Passion Fruit and Papaya – your favorite. Enjoy!
XOXOXO – a mystery admirer.’
Sophie: Wow! Fabulous! Look girls, I’m gonna enjoy this and I’ll catch you later. Okay?
Amanda: Yeah, sure. See ya later!
Sophie takes several long draws on the straw before putting the glass back on the table. She goes to undo a few buttons but then clutches her throat and falls to the ground gasping. A female assistant comes in, sees Sophie struggling and screams. She disappears then some paramedics rush in with a gurney.
Daniel: What was going on there? Looks like Sophie Cassius was having some medical difficulties. I hope that situation gets resolved soon.
Daniel: The following match is a rematch of sorts from Redemption, pitting the newly crowned Canadian Champion, Sky Ryder, against one of his opponents from the assimilation match, Spaz.
Max: What an honor to see the newest championship defended in its own backyard, huh Danny boy?
Daniel: You do realize the Canadian title isn’t on the line in this match, right?
Max: …I meant my championship. You know, the Canadian hot dog eating championship? Where did you think I was during that last commercial, anyway?
“Given Up” by Linkin Park hits the speakers, and a very determined Spaz steps out through the curtain. His focus is solely on the ring as he makes his way down the ramp, not even noticing the fans that are shouting in his direction.
Mina: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Now entering the ring – from Canada, weighing 245 pounds, SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!
The crowd pops to the mention of their home country, though it quickly dies down once they receive a glare from Spaz who is definitely the opposite of appreciative. Spaz’s face noticeably seems to be lacking its usual cockiness as he moves into the corner to begin stretching out on the ropes.
Max: These Canadian fans will cheer anything that’s from Canada, won’t they? Worst fans in the business, seriously.
Daniel: Now, now, we need to be nice to our newest fanbase, Max. …Even if they do decide to cheer the faces and boo the heels… and make calling matches unnecessarily difficult…
Max: See? Say it, I’m right. Say it!
Daniel: I plead the fifth.
“On The Outside” breaks the awkward silence, and the fans begin to boo. Sky Ryder makes his way into the arena, the boos growing in volume the further down the ramp he comes. Something is obviously bothering Ryder, though – and it’s not just the fans. He’s simply not his usual hyper self, instead strolling slowly down the ramp toward the ring, his Canadian Championship Belt haphazardly fastened around his waist by only one buckle.
Mina: And his opponent, he is the NEW Canadian Champion… From Dallas, Texas… Weighing 230 pounds… SKYYYYYY RYYYYYYYYYDER!
The fans boo even louder to the mention of an American city, and quite possibly to the fact that an American holds the Canadian title. Sky Ryder slides under the bottom rope, his Canadian Title unknowingly falling off beneath the bottom rope. He stands in the opposite corner from Spaz, looking a little bit spacey as if something else has his attention.
Daniel: What's up with Ryder tonight? You think he's thinking too much about Letty?
Max: Come on, this is wrestling… the only thing that should ever be in your mind is winning your match!
Daniel: Oh come on, Max, that’s being extremely disrespectful… she’s his wife, for God sakes… not that you would know anything about love.
Max: Sure I do. I cried for about twenty minutes when I lost my clean, crisp $500 bill at the blackjack table the other night.
Referee Chris Kay gives Sky Ryder a bit of a look as he picks up his Canadian Title, walking it over to the timekeeper’s table. Spaz watches it pass, disgusted, then turns back to his opponent as Kay calls for the bell.
*Ding Ding Ding*
Sky Ryder seems jolted back to reality by the bell, and looks around the ring for Spaz who is nowhere to be found. He soon realizes why, however, as Spaz appears behind him outside of the ring. He grabs Ryder by his boots and trips him up, dragging him to the outside with a THUD.
Daniel: Now there was no call for that, why resort to dirty tactics at the beginning of a match?
Max: You would complain no matter when he did that, and you know it.
Daniel: … Shut up, would you?
Spaz kneels down next to Ryder, cradles his head in his left hand, and begins delivering devastating punches one after the other to the face of the stunned Ryder. He slowly lifts Ryder up by the hair and drives his knee into his gut before pushing him forcefully into the steel guardrails. Spaz slides into the ring to break the count, then rolls back out, stomping heavily upon the chest of Ryder a few times.
Daniel: Looks like something’s gotten into Spaz tonight, huh Max? He claims he’s above the division he’s placed in, and what’s a better way to prove it than to defeat the champion of that division in Sky Ryder?
Max: **buuuuuurp**
Daniel: …Please, could you try to be a little professional? Just once?
Max: Yes, sir… mister Daniel sir.
Daniel: Now see? That was nice, thank you.
Max: **buuuuuuuurp**
Daniel: …So much for professional huh?
Max: You said once, that was once.
Spaz has Ryder back to his feet once again and slams his face into the ring apron, Ryder coming to rest upon it. Spaz’s smirk returns as he grabs Ryder by the waist, rolling him into the ring just at the 8 count from referee Chris Kay. Spaz rolls him onto his back, and expecting the easy victory, simply lays his back against Ryder’s side. Kay gets into position...
1…
2…
….SHOULDER UP!
Daniel: It won’t be that easy, Spaz! He’s the champion for a reason, you’re going to have to earn it tonight.
Max: He better not take too long to earn it, those nachos are NOT sitting well.
Spaz rolls over onto his knees and looks at Ryder, a little surprised at the life shown. However, he seems unaffected and lifts Ryder up, sending him into the nearest corner with a simple toss by the head. He climbs up onto the middle rope and once again grabs Ryder by the head, delivering the mandatory nine-punch, followed by a very strong tenth punch, which sends Ryder collapsing to the mat. Spaz turns and sits on the top turnbuckle, pausing to admire the damaged caused to his opponent.
Daniel: Hey now, don’t be too sure of yourself Spaz…
Max: And why not? Look at Ryder, no way he’s getting up.
Spaz slowly makes his way down from the turnbuckle and kicks Ryder in the ribcage cockily. He laughs a little bit and does it again, but this time Ryder is ready for it and grabs his ankle, sending him off-balance. Ryder grabs ahold of Spaz’s leg and wrenches as much as he can until Spaz falls to the mat in surprise – but unluckily for him, Spaz falls against the ropes and Chris Kay has to call for a clean break.
Daniel: See! Sky Ryder is never out of a match, no matter how beaten down he may be.
Max: We’ll see about that, won’t we?
Daniel: But he just … oh, never mind.
Spaz slides out of the ring, once again surprised that his opposition is putting up more of a fight than expected. He adjusts his boots and glares into the ring, reassessing his gameplan. He wipes his nose with his arm, stretches out a little and slides back into the ring. Spaz walks a circle around the weakened Ryder, contemplating, then picks him up by the hair once again. After a short reprimand by Chris Kay (which, as you might expect, falls upon deaf ears), Spaz whips Ryder across the ring and attempts a clothesline on the rebound. Ryder’s instincts apparently kick in, however, and he ducks the attack. His momentum carries him into the opposite rope, and he springs off in an attempted cross body, but Spaz has this well scouted and side-steps the attack, sending Ryder rolling across the ring.
Max: Your boy doesn’t look to good, now does he?
Daniel: I’m not about to count him out, not by a long shot. Even though he may not be all mentally there, a good wrestler has instincts, and he’s definitely showing them here tonight.
Max: $5 says he doesn’t get another offensive move in?
Daniel: … I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but… you’re on!
Spaz collects himself again and does a slight calculation in his head, looking at both Sky Ryder and either side of the ring. He decides the left side is the better way to go and bolts towards the ropes to the left of Ryder, springboarding backwards off of them in a textbook Lionsault. His momentum carries him through and onto his knees, but he falls forward and hooks the leg of Ryder to keep them away from the ropes.
1…
2…
……KICKOUT!
Daniel: There’s still some life left in the tank of old Sky Ryder! Spaz can’t believe it!
Max: Neither can I! My intestines are about to explode, damn it! End this already!
Spaz pounds the mat, the frustration beginning to build. He returns to his original gameplan and drags Ryder to the bottom rope, forcing the heel of his boot to the back of his neck, choking him upon the rope. Referee Chris Kay begins his five-count, and Spaz lets go just before the count of five. Spaz lifts Ryder up, who is struggling for breath, and drops him down on his head with a strong, forceful DDT. Spaz looks over at Ryder, his eyes telling him not to kick out as he goes for the cover.
Max: This is it! Five bucks, dude!
1…
2…
…2.5….
……KICKOUT!
Daniel: I can’t believe my eyes! Sky Ryder WILL NOT quit here tonight! What is it going to take to put him away?
Max: Here’s the plan: Nachos, beer, chili, and a massage chair.
Daniel: Excuse me?
Max: Simple. Spaz force-feeds him the chili and nachos, sticks him on the massage chair, and waits. Sooner or later, Ryder will have to go to the bathroom LIKE SOMEBODY HERE, and will be forced to take the count-out loss. Brilliant, no?
Daniel: You’ll only get this inside analysis here in WPW. Max Stockton, ladies and gentlemen.
Back in the ring, Spaz is having a very heated discussion with referee Chris Kay about the speed of his counts. Behind his back and out of view, Sky Ryder has managed to get up to his knees. He musters up all he can and delivers a strong forearm to the small of the back of Spaz, who screams out in pain from the surprise attack, dropping down to his knees.
Sky Ryder realizes this may be his best chance to walk away with a victory, and slowly crawls towards the nearest corner. He climbs up to the second turnbuckle and stalks Spaz from behind as he slowly makes his way to his feet.
Daniel: He’s going for it all here! If he connects with this, it’s lights out!
Max: Please don’t notice the club to the back, pleeeease don’t notice the club to the back…
Daniel: …and you owe me five dollars.
Max: …Shit.
Ryder waits until Spaz is in prime positioning for the J-S-K-O, takes a deep breath, and dives off of the turnbuckle. Spaz hears the clinking of the turnbuckle, however, and catches a glimpse of the man flying at him. Spaz’s first reaction is to grab the extended arm of Sky Ryder, and they both fall to the mat. Carrying Ryder’s forward momentum, Spaz keeps his tight grip upon the arm of Ryder and rolls through into a bridge, locking on a one-armed version of the Ascension!
Daniel: What a brutal takedown, and what athleticism and where-with-all shown by Spaz! He’s got that Ascension mostly locked on, and Sky Ryder has to use that free arm if he has any chance of escaping!
Sky Ryder battles, his left arm making long, wide strikes at the side of Spaz who each time attempts to trap his arm. Spaz wrenches back harder after Ryder’s third strike and Ryder screams out, his next attempted punch falling short of its mark. Spaz seizes the opportunity and locks his left arm in a chicken-wing, leaving Sky Ryder with little chance to escape. He continues to fight, however, his legs both kicking against the mat, desperately attempting to free himself from the excruciating hold.
Soon, the kicking subsides, and Ryder’s body is left lifeless, face down on the mat and in the arms of Spaz. Spaz screams “CHECK HIM!” to referee Chris Kay, who obliges by grabbing Ryders arm.
He lifts it up once … and it drops to the mat in a thud.
Daniel: Ryder is totally out of it!
Spaz wrenches back on the hold again and Chris Kay lifts his arm a second time … and it falls back to the mat once again.
Daniel: One more of those and this match is over! … Wait, something’s missing…
Spaz’s eyes light up in confidence and he bridges his body as far as it will go, screaming out himself as he contorts his body in an attempt to keep Sky Ryder subdued for another count. Chris Kay lifts Sky Ryder’s arm up into the air, his other hand forming a “three”. He lets go and the hand of Ryder falls lifelessly back to the mat! Chris Kay waves his arms and calls for the bell!
Mina: The winner of this match, by submission… SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!
Daniel: That’s it! Sky Ryder put up as much of a fight as he possibly could, but in the end, it was Spaz who came to the show more prepared this week. Something tells me Sky Ryder was never mentally in this match, but in the end, it’s only the loss that will go in the record books for him. Anything to add, Max? …. Max?
Spaz exits the ring and grabs the Canadian Title from the timekeeper. He rolls back into the ring and shakes his head, dropping the title on Sky Ryder’s chest. He places his foot upon the title and raises his arms in the air, once again showing his smirk. The crowd is torn, whether to cheer the victory of their Canadian brethren or to boo the blatant disrespect of the Canadian title. The resulting noise is that of slow clapping, and random groans.
Daniel: Spaz may think that beating the champion puts him above this division, but that’s not his call to make. I would love to see these two face off another day down the road where both men are focused on the match, but that’s just me. … Max! Where the hell were you?
Max: Whatever you do, don’t use the third stall in the bathroom near the entrance. Trust me.
Daniel: … And on that note.. let's.. go to break. Quickly.
“Ten Thousand Fists” by Disturbed hits and all of the lights in the arena go out. As the drums to the song kick in, deep, dark red lights begin to flash in time with them. When “SURVIVOR!” is heard, all of the lights turn a brighter red and Smike slowly walks out through the curtains.. He walks forward and pauses at the end of the entrance way, waiting for the second “SURVIVOR!” where he raises both his arms to his side and the fans cheer.
Daniel: And there he is, I have to say going into this match the odds on favorite has to...............what the hell are you doing..
Max: Im a survivor, Im not gonna give up, Im not........huh? Im singing the song, duh......
Daniel: His song is by Disturbed, not Destiny's Child.
Max: Well it should be, because a great wrestler needs a great theme song!
Daniel: ......I'm just going to shut up for now..
Once the first verse of the song kicks in, dark and brighter red spotlights flash randomly throughout the arena at a fast pace as Smike begins his walk down the ramp in sync with the music. He acknowledges the fans with a slight grin and a nod, but doesn’t get close enough to shake hands. He walks up the steps and pauses on the apron, looking out into the crowd as if to both silently thank them, and to remind himself that he’s doing what he loves. He gets into the ring and moves towards the nearest corner, he steps onto the second turnbuckle and eyes the crowd once more, and as he begins to raises his arms, his musics cuts out abruptly leaving Smike looking around confused.
Mina: Introducing first.. He weighs in tonight at two hundred and thirty three pounds, from Tampa, F.. er.. Ontario, Canada.. He is... SMIKE!
"The Prisoner" by Iron Maiden kicks in from the beginning. Wasting no time for the song setup, Jamie Parker comes out from behind the curtains in his soccer kit. He is sporting a small bandage across his forehead and he is holding a soccer ball.
Max: See! Now THAT IS A THEME SONG!!
Daniel: .....Anyways, it looks like Parker is still a little banged up from that Substitution by Scorch he took onto a chair at Redemption.
Parker sets the ball on the stage and looks out around the arena. He is getting some boos, but they seem to be canceled out by a fat lady in the front row who is wearing a shirt 3x too small judging by the fat rolls hanging out. The shirt reads 'Parker got me pregnant.' Giving a glance in the womans direction, Parkers eyes widen almost in horror as he quickly kicks the soccer ball nailing her in the head and sending her crashing back on top of 3 small children.
Max: O THE HORROR!!!
Daniel: I know! I cannot believe Parker would do something like that to a fan!
Max: What?
Daniel: The fan..he hit with the ball?....just now!?
Max: He hit a fan!? I was worried about the fat cow that just fell back on those little kids! They had nachos in their hands!
Daniel: ............You really are an ass aren't you?
Max: O look she rolled over, they are saved!
Mina: And, coming down to the ring.. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and thirty six pounds.. He is 'the number one Florida State Champion from 2007'.. From Harchester, England, he is.. JAMIE... PARKER!
By now Parker has made his way down the ramp with a grin on his face again as he climbs up the steps to the ring and climbs through the ropes. Parkers music fades out and the bell rings to start the match, Smike shakes his head slowly as Parker turns and looks out to the crowd raising his arms. At this moment, Smike runs up quickly and grabs Parker between his legs and around his waist pulling him backwards into a schoolboy pin.
Max: Cheater!!!
Daniel: Its a schoolboy pin Max!
1....2...kick out.
Smike rolls off of Parker and both men are quickly up to their feet. Parker doesn't seem happy and as Smike turns around he gets met by a hard right hook from Parker sending Smike stumbling into the ropes. Bouncing back off the ropes, Parker throws another right hand sending Smike down on his back. Parker quickly reaches down pulling Smike to his feet and pushes him back into the nearest corner. Parker holds Smike for a moment before stepping back and throwing a hard slap in the face of Smike.
Daniel: Oh come on, a total show of disrespect by Parker!!
Max: Well you're not supposed to hit ladies Daniel, but slaps are ok.
Smike stands in the corner now, holding his face for a moment and watching Parker who is taking a couple of steps back now. Smike runs forwards and Parker quickly ducks a clothesline attempt. Smike stops quickly and turns in time to catch Parker with a back elbow as he turns. Parker stumbles back holding his face and the crowd cheers. Smike quickly grabs Parker and whips him across the ring into the ropes and as he comes back, Smike quickly flips Parker onto his back with a hip toss. Parker is quick to roll back up to his feet only to recieve another hiptoss and Smike then drops for a quick cover.
1.....Kick out.
Max: QUICK COUNT!!!! THE REFEREE IS CHEATING!!!
Daniel: Cheating? It was a one count.
Max: Exactly, Parker obviously had his shoulders up before the one count!
Smike is standing, looking slightly tired from having moved around so much already. Parker is getting to his hands and knees now and Smike begins to pull him up, as he does, Parker quickly brings his right arm up, sending a european uppercut right into the jaw of Smike sending him stumbling back. Smike tries to approach Parker again, only to get laid out by a hard clothesline sending him down on his back. Parker stands over Smike and looks around the the crowd with a smile befor dropping down on Smike with a hard elbow drop followed by a pin.
1.......2.....Kick out.
Smike manages to lift his shoulder off the canvas and Parker sits up quickly looking down at Smike. Shaking his head, Parker pulls Smike up to his feet slowly but gets cut off as Smike throws a hard punch to the gut of Parker. Parker pauses and bends over, still holding onto Smikes head only to recieve another punch to the gut by Smike. Parkers grip lightens up and Smike slowly stands now, throwing one more punch that sends Parker back a few steps. Smike looks around now as the fans are begining to cheer, he quickly runs and rebounds off the ropes, flying back at Parker with a clothesline but Parker quickly ducks it. Smike stumbles trying not to fall but as he turns back to Parker he is met with a foot as Parker nails a step-up enziguiri. Smike drops to the canvas and holds his head as Parker is already climbing back up to his feet. Parker looks down to Smike then quickly runs towards the nearest ropes and jumps up to the second rope and dives into a moonsault towards Smike. Parker lands ontop of Smike landing a perfect lionsault and Parker quickly hooks Smikes legs going for the pin.
1........2......kick out.
Daniel: Wow perfectly executed lionsault by Parker and still only a two count!
Max: It was a three count! The referee is cheating, I told you this al......o look a peanut...
Daniel: Your not going to...
Max: <munch, munch, munch>
Daniel: You are......
Parker sits up looking upset as he quickly stands to his feet shooting a cold stare to the fans around the arena. Parker moves to the corner and climbs up onto the second rope looking around once more then glancing down at Smike. Parker jumps form the second rope and extends his legs but at the last minute Smike rolls out of the way of Parker who went for a second rope leg drop.
Daniel: And Smike lives!!!!!!
Max: <munch, munch munch>
Daniel: What the...what are you eating now!?
Max: <munch> mm...theres this stick <munch, munch> stuff under the table <munch>
Daniel: ............
Parker rolls holding his ass and Smike is slowly climbing back to his feet only moments before Parker is getting back up on his own as well. Parker turns in Smikes direction and throws a right hand only to have Smike duck it and catch him around the waist from behind. Smike lifts and drops back nailing Parker with a good old fashion standard backdrop. Parker hits but is quick to roll and climb to his feet holding his back, as he stands, Smike stands as well and catches a stumbling Parker around the waist again and lifts him up then drops down into a hard sidewalk slam. Smike hooks Parkers legs and pulls as best he can going for a pin. Smike doesn't even get a one count now as Parker already kicks out and is moving towards the corner in a crawl. Smike slowly stands up, trying to catch his breathe as he looks to be tired from the match going at such a fast pace. Parker pulls himself up in the corner and as he does, Smike quickly runs forward and dives at Parker who quickly jumps up and over Smike who was attempting a corner spear. Smike drops down into the second turnbuckle with his head and he quickly bounces back to his feet holding his face. Smike slowly stumbles back and Parker reaches forward to turn him around a deliver a hard kick to the gut of Smike, bending him over.
Daniel: Ouch, after that fall into the turnbuckle, it looks like Parker has control in this match again!
Max: And thats the way it should be!!!!
Parker looks around now and pulls Smike's head between his legs and hooks him by the waist. Parker pulls Smike up in a rotation fashion until he is resting ontop of Parkers shoulders, but something goes wrong and Smike continues rotating until he rolls over Parkers head and drops down behind him barely landing on his feet. Both men turn but Smike quickly steps forward and with everything he has, extends his arm and delivers a huge stiff clothesline to Parker sending him spinning off of his feet.
Daniel: And thats it, 'Just Stop!'
Max: But I didn't do anything??
Daniel: No the....oh nevermind!
Smike stumbles and drops down, rolling Parker over onto his back and making the cover.
1.........2...........3!
Mina: Here is Your Winner...... SMIKE!
Daniel: Well there you have it. Smike has successfully beaten the self proclaimed ‘Best Florida State Champion”
Max: Guess that doesn’t count for much in Canada, does it?
Parker rolls from the ring and ends up on the outside on his feet. Pissed as all bloody hell! He moves to the announcing table, and proceeds to pull out a steel chair and a microphone. Smike has not yet noticed, nor has the referee, despite the noise of the crowd. Smike turns and is greeted with steel to his face. The Crowd voice their disgust at Parker - and Parker, in return, voices his.
Parker: You know, I might have a reputation as someone who isn’t exactly fair. But The way I see it. Fair is not what the world is about. If the world were fair, I’d have been World Champion a long time ago. Fair, right? So as talking and complaining doesn’t seem to work, I’m going to try a new Strategy... Punctuation.
I want a World Title shot. And Perhaps if I put a few *He taps his chair* Exclamation points across Smike’s, The Apparent Future of the Company, knees.. Then Perhaps Carlos listens. And Cassius loses to me! Fairness Restor...
“Falls Apart” by Hurt begins to Play over the speakers and out Comes Carlos Gonzales. He gets a slight pop as he looks over at Parker, a slight smile on his face.
Carlos: Of all the two-bit, attention seeking ways to get a Title, Jamie Parker, Yours is honestly the worst! The Dumbest way I have ever seen! Do you think I care about Smike’s well-being. That I would lose a day of sleep if you broke his foot or his knee right now? I tell you what.. You want to be in a Contenders match? You want to have a change against JMC?
You got it.
But don’t think its because you’re holding me at gunpoint. You’re not blackmailing me... In Fact, Hit Smike For me, would you?
Max: What?
Daniel: Don’t do it!
Parker looks confused, looking between Smike and Carlos.
Carlos: Do it! Or I’ll revoke your Title shot!
Parker raises the chair and brings it Down on Smike’s Back!
Carlos: Brilliant! Do it again!
Parker joins in with Carlos, Laughing as he hits Smike a second Time!
Carlos: Great stuff. Now, meet your opponent in the number one Contenders match.. Smike’s best friend!
Parker’s face plummets as the crowd go crazy. Passing by Carlos is the blur of David Nicolls. Nicolls runs headfirst into the ring as Parker begins to panic.
Max: Haha, Carlos sure got you tricked, Parker!
Daniel: Jamie Sure bit of more than he can chew!
Parker throws a swing with the chair at Nicolls and Connects. Down goes Nicolls... But he gets back up again, Nicolls legs seem to swerve from under him and he falls over again but gets up and makes a beeline for Parker. Jamie, stunned by this retreats from the ring, still looking threatening with the chair. Nicolls, still concussed but standing starts talking trash at Parker.. Only he is not facing Parker. He realises and moves around and starts telling him to come ‘get some’.
Daniel: There you have it! Next Week, Number One Contender’s match. Parker and Nicolls. And Nicolls with some reason to hate Parker!
Max: If he remembers any of the past 10 minutes.. Or three Years! God, I’ve seen healthier looking stoners! Hey, just to change tradition.. I'm going to call the ad break for once! So, up yours, Daniel Justice!
Max: Welcome back to Tuesday Night Turmoil!!
Daniel: Are you happy now, I finally let you do an intro and an outro?
Max: Yes, sir!!
Daniel: Ok, good. Folks, in our next match, we have a man who was speared through a steel cage only a week ago at Redemption during the brutal Sell Your Soul match, going one on one with the returning Mykal Adams!
Max: Mike Adams?
Daniel: No, not Mike Adams, haven't we been through this enough times in the past, Max?
Max: I guess not.
Daniel: Right, well anyway. The former Florida State Champion Mykal Adams returned during our Redemption Pay-Per-View last week, in an attempt to save The Stallion from Royalty.
Max: So why the hell is he facing Gunnar Brian?
Daniel: I guess you'll have to ask the bookers that one Max.
Max: Yeah, like they know what they're doing.
Daniel: You don't like having a job, huh Max?
Max: Meh, its ok.
Daniel: Anyway, lets go over to Mina.
Mina: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
"Just close your eyes" hits and the lights are yellow, and out walks Mykal Adams to the center of the stage dressed in his wresting attire with a black and gold hoodie on. He looks to the crowd, pulls the hood off of his head, spins around, and the pyro goes off from behind him. He points to the crowd (and especially acknowledges the ladies in attendance) as he makes his way to the ring. He slides under the ring, goes to the turnbuckle, climbs it and then removes his hoodie. He looks for a "hot looking female" in the front row to throw his hoodie to, and once he finds her, he throws the hoodie to the girl he selected.
Max: Who the hell does this guy think he is? Val Venis?
Daniel: Good god Max, we haven't held him down that badly!
Max: Aha, funny guy.
Daniel: Thank you. Anyhoo, Mykal Adams has already said this week that if he loses here tonight in his first match back in WPW, he will only be elligable to be booked on Live for the next two years.
Max: So what you're saying is that if he loses tonight, he'll be facing Beno every week for the next two years?
Daniel: Yeah, probably.
Max: And he won't get a pay cut or anything like that?
Daniel: Well I don't see why he would, why?
Max: Then I guess Mykal Adams is throwing the match this week, huh?
Daniel: What? Why the hell do you say that?
Max: Well he said if he loses he's going to be booked on Live for the next two years. Live has easier opponents, he won't get a pay cut, and he's probably already bet heavilly that he'll lose tonight. So basically he has far more to gain in defeat tonight than he does by winning.
Daniel: I don't think everyone quite thinks like you Max. Not everyone is looking for the easy way out. And I have no doubt that Mykal Adams is not looking for the easy route in WPW. If he were I really doubt he would piss off Royalty on his first night back!
Max: That's true I guess.
Mina: First, from Destin, Florida. Weighing in at two hundred and fourty pounds, Please welcome back....MYYYYYYKALLLLLL ADDDDDDDDDDAMMMMMSS!!!
The lights fade and the music begins to play, Gunnar walks out as he looks towards the sky. He pauses for a moment as he holds his hands out. He then looks down at the floor as the lights come back on. H reaches out to the fans before sharply pulling away pointing to himself and mouthing 'You all love me, but I hate you all' He walks down to the ring and slides under the bottom rope. Once he is in the ring he gets to his knees, and raises his arms upwards. He takes off the unoffical Gunnar shirt stating 'I hate WPW alot, but I hate you more'
Daniel: This man was very unfortunate to be eliminated when he was at Redemption last week, being speared through the steel cage by David Nicolls. But believe me when I tell you that Gunnar Brian opened the eyes of a lot of the WPW higher ups in that Sell Your Soul match.
Max: Yeah, and he shut the eyes of the crowd in attendance.
Daniel: Max, do you like anyone?
Max: Of course I do, Mina is hot!
Daniel: Right.
Max: But c'mon Danno, this guy is boring. He talks an average game, and he competes less than that. He's never even held a title in WPW, so why hes held in such high regard is totally beyond me.
Daniel: As are quite a few of the goings on in WPW.
Max: And what is that supposed to mean?
Daniel: Don't worry your little head over it Max. Just try to do the job that none of us can believe you've maintained for the past two years.
Mina: And his opponent, from Manchester, England. Weighing in at two hundred and twenty five pounds....GUNNNNNNNARRRRR BRIIIIIAAANNNN!!!
The referee rings the bell, and immediately Gunnar Brian rushes Mykal Adams. He backs him into the corner and begins punching him down, completely taking Adams by surprise. Adams tries to fight back early on, but Gunnar continues to get in some hard shots, including a couple of knees to the head as Adams goes down, seating himself in the corner. Gunnar begins to stomp his opponent in the corner of the ring, the referee shouting at him, but being completely ignored. Gunnar puts his foot into the throat of Adams and begins to choke him out as the referee begins to count. The referee gets to four, and realises that Gunnar is still ignoring him, so he pulls Gunnar away.
Max: Wow, what the hell was that all about?
Daniel: I don't know. Maybe Gunnar Brian is trying to prove a point.
Max: I guess.
Daniel: Or maybe he overheard your comments about him, and is gonna come for you next.
Max: Yeah right, like he could do a thing to me.
Daniel: So what you're saying is you would be totally fine to face Gunnar Brian next week on TNT?
Max: I don't remember saying that...
Daniel: You implied it.
Max: Implied?
Daniel: Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting the Dan Murph of the commentary booth!
Max: What?
Daniel: Nevermind, I'm sure someone will get it.
The referee tells Gunnar off, wagging his finger to show his authority. (Ohhh scary!) The referee turns around to walk towards Adams to see if hes ok, but as soon as he turns Gunnar flies by him, sprinting towards Adams before he can get up. Gunnar gets down to his knees in the corner, and begins to punch Adams in the face. Gunnar is totally relentless, not giving Adams a chance to get up, or a moment to catch his breath. The referee tries to pull Gunnar away, but Gunnar shoves him down, and again goes to work on his opponent, now having him in a headlock, and puching him in the side of the face. The referee gets up, and thinks about disqualifying Gunnar, but he doesn't, instead he attempts one more time to pull Gunnar away from Adams. He grabs at the waist of Gunnar, and begins to pull him away, using up all his strength in the process. Eventually he peals Gunnar away. Gunnar instantly gets to his feet, and turns towards the referee and begins shouting at him, asking what the hell is problem is.
Max: He's right. What the hell is your problem ref?
Daniel: What? You were just saying what a waste of space Gunnar Brian is, and now you're taking his side?
Max: Yes, Yes I am!! The way hes approached this match, the intensity hes shown. How can you not love it?
Daniel: Well I'm sure the referee doesn't, hes damn near disqualified him twice already, and if Gunnar isn't careful hes going to lose this match very soon.
Max: Yeah, like thats anything new in the life of Gunnar Brian!
Daniel: WHAT?!?! You just said that you like how hes approaching this match!! Will you stop switching sides already and just pick one!
Max: I have!
Daniel: Ok good, whos?
Max: I'm not telling!!
Daniel: Oh, thats real mature, Max!
Gunnar is really angry with the referee, infact his face has turned bright red. Shouting at him telling him to stop trying to hold Gunnar down, and instead doing his job! Gunnar turns around from the now scared to death referee, and is about to go on the assault again, but as he turns Mykal Adams bombs out of the corner with a vicious spear! Taking Gunnar straight down, and this time unloading with rights and lefts of his own to the face of Gunnar. This time the referee doesn't do anything, he just stands there and watches, letting Adams do whatever he wants to Gunnar. I guess he took the verbal assault by Gunnar personally.
Daniel: And now its Mykal Adams turn to assault Gunnar Brian!
Max: What the hell is the referee doing? Why the heck isn't he stopping this?
Daniel: Maybe because Gunnar Brian doesn't seem to see why the rules should be inforced?
Max: Well if hes going to inforce the rules for Gunnar, shouldn't he inforce them for Adams too?
Daniel: He should, but after Gunnar decided to take the law into his own hands, I can't say I blame him for not doing so now.
Gunnar pushes Mykal off of him at last. He gets straight to his feet and hits a couple of punches, but Adams kicks him in the abdomen and begins to fight back with a couple of rights and lefts in return. Adams whips Gunnar into the ropes and gives him a big times clothesline, knocking him down onto the mat. Gunnar holds the back of his head as he looks up at Adams with a look of fury in his eyes. Gunnar gets back up and tries to assault Adams, but he fails miserably again, as Adams ducks and when Gunnar turns around Adams catches him off guard with the Kiss of Death!! (Iron claw)
Daniel: The Kiss of Death!!
Max: Oh boy!!
Daniel: It's not an actual kiss, Max...Don't get too exicted.
Max: I know that!! What do you mean don't get too excited? What do you think I am?
Daniel: I would tell you, but I don't think I'm allowed to use that kind of language on the show.
Max: That language? What language can't we use on the show?
Daniel: French.
Max: What? Why can't we use French?
Daniel: *sigh* Nevermind, Max, Nevermind.
Gunnar tries to resist the kiss of death as long as he possibly can. But hes begining to fade, you can see it in his face. This has to be the end of this match, and for Gunnar tonight on TNT. Adams is putting all of his might into this move, and now with some clear leverage over Gunnar, there can't be any way out of this move, can there? Gunnar makes one last attempt at getting out of the move, as he forces his way to his feet. He tries to break the grip of Adams, but he has no such luck. Adams pushes down with the claw, as Gunnar tries to resist, knowing that if he doesn't he is surely in for another defeat. Gunnar begins to fade once more though, but with a desperate, last ditch, survival attempt. Gunnar kicks Adams in the knee. It seems to have helped a little. Adams holds on, but Gunnar kicks him in the knee again, and again. Gunnar has loosened the grip, so he now begins to punch the arm of Adams, finally breaking his grip, and the hold.
Daniel: Great work from Gunnar Brian there, I'm really surprised he was able to get out of that move, I thought he was a gonner.
Max: I didn't, I knew Gunnar could get out of this, and now hes going to go on to win this match!
Daniel: So you've finally picked a side then?
Max: What are you talking about? I've been rooting for Gunnar all the way through this match!
Daniel: No you haven't!
Max: I have so!
As Adams falls down to one knee, Gunnar sees this as his golden opportunity. He climbs through the ropes, and stands on the ring apron, looking straight at Adams, waiting for the right moment to strike. Adams doesn't move too quickly, but Gunnar is stalking him, he doesn't want to rush this, if he goes for him at the right moment, he will almost definately walk out of vancouver and the first edition of Canadian TNT with a victory. And in the process doom Mykal Adams to a long stint on Live. Adams finally, slowly gets to his feet. He steadys himself, holding his knee. Adams turns around, and Gunnar immediately springboards onto the top rope and goes for the Gundanium (720 DDT) Gunnar spins and lands it, NO! Adams moves out of the way and Gunnar lands in the ring, flat on his face. Adams shakes the cobwebs, and then looks down at Gunnar. He grabs Gunnar by the leg, hooking his own leg around it. He shouts out "YOU ARE MY BITCH!!" and then locks in the "YOU'RE MY BITCH" (STF). Gunnar begins to scream in pain, but hes in the centre of the ring, and it doesn't seem like he has any route out of this. He struggles to try and get towards the ropes, and actually manages to move towards it a little. But he just can't get close enough, Adams has the move locked in. Gunnar screams in pain, until he can't take the pressure anymore. Gunnar hesitantly taps out, the referee rings the bell. And Adams lets go of the hold.
Mina: The winner of this match, by submission...MYYYYYYKALLLLLL ADDDDDAAAMMMMMMS!!!!
June 3rd, 2008
Hilton Hotel Crystal Ballroom
Vancouver, BC
The typical TNT show highlight package has been cut for the addition of live camera footage of a rabid Canadian crowd. As the camera zooms all over, showcasing as many rabid Canucks as possible, they zoom up, showing the incredibly high roof of the Crystal Ballroom, then zoom down to Max Stockton and Daniel Justice, sitting live at commentary.
Daniel: Welcome, everybody, to WPW's first ever show in Canada!
Max: These Canadians sure know how to have a good time, Danny. I had no idea. They've got so much food. It's like American food. Only fattier! I really.. I never would have guessed that the Canadians would be even worse eaters than us!
Daniel: I think it's that they exercise more. Anyway.. what a show we've got for the Canadian fans tonight! Tonight's theme? Redemption.
Max: ... From Redemption! I mean, except for the first match. Two returnees, neither of which made it to the show. Lazy bastards.
Daniel: Nick Comoroto and Mike Corral were backstage, I'll have you know - and they want a piece of each other. But.. I think it's going to be more interesting to see how the crowd reacts to our new Canadian champion, Sky Ryder, going against the man who almost cinched the title away from him at Redemption, Canada's own.. Spaz!
Max: Yeah, that match will be a train wreck. Uh. I mean.. a good train wreck. Anyway. After that.. uh.. Smike and Parker. What's that about, anyway?
Daniel: I hear it's Carlos' way of seeing how far removed Parker is from the Florida State division, by putting him in a match with.. well, one of the former number one contenders to the gold! But.. The match after it is one I think a lot of people will be dying to see.
Max: Gunnar Brian and Mykal Adams. I've gotta admit, I'm excited, too.
Daniel: You actually know? What's got you more excited? The competition? The spirit? The energy?
Max: The chance to see Mykal Adams never appear on this show again! LIVE! Man, Carlos cracks me up sometimes. Wait, we were talking about Redemption?
Daniel: That's for sure. Tag match. One side.. Karver, Inc. Michael Karver and Sal Karver both lost last week.. to who? Their opponents tonight, the tag team of Martin Cameron and The One! I've been hearing a little backstage chatter that maybe The One and Martin Cameron have been looking to tag up together anyway, so this'll definitely be one worth recording, folks.
Max: One, two, three, four.. Okay, so that's five matches, so that's our main event?
Daniel: No! It's our first show in Canada, so we want to pull it off with a bang, with some zazz.. SIX matches tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Our main event? The man who Sold his Soul.. Dan Murph.. faces the one, the only..
Max: EL POLLO?!??
Daniel: SCORCH! This is another match you don't see every week, folks, because Scorch.. well, he's bloodthirsty of late. But he's got an absolute giant to take down in Dan Murph.. and Dan Murph's looking to prove himself!
Max: Anyway, that's enough chatter for now. Let's go to the lovely Mina Henderson.. Aw, shit, that's your line.
Daniel: And what a match we’ve got to celebrate our first ever show North of the border. Two returning superstars – Nick Comoroto and Mike ‘The Saint’ Corral.
Max: Who? Never heard of ‘em. We’re coming off the biggest night of the year with another glorious JMC victory and our opening match is John Doe versus Barry Has been. It’s not good enough, I tells ya.
Daniel: That’s not fair. These two men will be anxious to show why they used to thrill the Florida crowds, Corral with his mastery of a hundred different finishers, none of them the Bronco Buster, and Comoroto with whatever he used to do.
Here’s Mina to introduce our two contestants.
Mina: Our opening match is to be decided by one fall and is between, weighing in at 243lbs and hailing from San Diego, California, Mike……the Saint…..Corral!
Triumph by the Wu Tang Clan hits and Corral emerges, not in his usual ‘Enlightenment’ T shirt, but in a Maple Leaf shirt which encourages some cheers from the unfamiliar crowd.
Mike sighs a little, expecting a bit more from his return to WPW. He walks to the ring, not interacting with the fans that do try and make contact. He slides under the bottom rope and climbs the turnbuckle much the same as he did in his previous run with the company.
Mina: His opponent, weighing in at 235lbs and hailing from Trenton New Jersey……no……the Heart of Canada, he is Niiiiiick Comorooooooooto!
Riot by Three Days Grace starts up for a few seconds but Como only emerges to poke his head through the curtain and say ‘No- Not that one’
The music stops and within a couple of seconds a new tune starts – the overture from 2112 by Canada’s favorite’s, Rush.
The crowd goes wild and Nick Comoroto steps through the curtain in full Mountie uniform.
Daniel: Welcome back, Nick Comoroto, the eternal crowd pleaser.
Como slaps hands with every fan on the railing as he makes his way to the ring.
Mike Corral gets up from his crouch in the corner and exchanges some words with referee Todd Franklin, presumably about the time that Comoroto is taking to get to the ring. Franklin shrugs and indicates that he can’t count Comoroto out until the bell rings. He eventually gets to the ropes and takes off his ever present golden locket and hands it to his friend and manager figure, Harry Alanson, then strips off his Mountie uniform.
As Alanson exits the ring, Corral’s patience finally snaps and he charges at Comoroto, clubbing him on the back as he hands his jacket to the timekeeper.
Ding Ding
Corral grabs Comoroto and lands a Belly to Back Suplex, then strips off his Mountie pants, winds them round Como’s neck and uses them as a garrote.
Todd Franklin warns Corral and starts a five count, but Corral discards the pants at the count of three and applies a Rear Naked Choke instead. Como struggles for a while then manages to rise and pull Corral over his shoulder.
Daniel: And we’re off! Nick Comoroto was in trouble but managed to reverse and neither of these men have forgotten the tricks of their trade.
Max: Thank the Lord that Nick Comoroto didn’t forget his wrestling tights. I’m not sure that my stomach could stand that after that Mexican burrito. I didn’t know you could get authentic Mexican food in Canada. I thought it’d be all the old American favorites like pizza or chop suey.
Como drops an elbow then pulls Corral to his feet with a wrist lock. He hyperextends the wrist, then twists, facing Corral to flip over rather than break his arm. Corral manages to wrench his arm free and sweeps Comoroto’s legs from under him. He hits the mat with a loud thump. Corral scrabbles to try and grab Como’s legs but Como spider walks away and uses the ropes to get back to his feet.
Daniel: Both these men are students of the game. I don’t know if anyone else in WPW has more ability than Mike Corral or Nick Comoroto.
Max: You need more than ability to win titles, Daniel. You need strength, you need luck and you need a small yellow warthog named Kenneth.
Daniel: Brain skipped a track there, Max. Too much coffee with that burrito.
Como goes for a Running High Knee but Corral has time to step aside and Como’s leg goes over the top rope. Corral Gets him in a headlock and DDT’s him to the mat, following up with a cover.
1…………….2…….Comoroto gets a shoulder up.
Corral doesn’t persist with the cover, instead pulling Como up by the neck then delivering an XXX-Plex (A Cross Arm German Suplex)
Comoroto bounces off the mat and escapes under the bottom rope.
Daniel: This Canadian crowd is beginning to warm to the WPW experience. How soon can it be before they forget the words Montreal and screwjob.
Max: Why? What happened there?
Daniel: You’re supposed to be the expert, Max. Surely you know the story of The Hitman and the Heartbreak Kid?
Max: Is that the one about the magic beans and the giant with the super sense of smell?
Como sees Comoroto slowly get to his feet and decides on a Heat Seeking Missile Dive to the outside. He catches Como on the upper body and Como’s head bounces off the thin mat that covers the concrete ring surround.
Daniel: High risk move from Corral, but it paid off. He just needs to get Como back in the ring and the fat lady will start singing.
Franklin starts his count-out just giving Corral enough time to recover and roll Como back in the ring. Corral goes to the top rope and launches a Charger-sault – a High Elevation Moonsault Legdrop. Como seems to react with a sixth sense and rolls away at the last second so that Corral hits bare mat twisting his knee in the process. Corral grabs his right leg and Como spots the reaction so goes straight for a Boston Crab, dropping the left leg to concentrate on the damaged right leg.
Corral yells in pain.
Daniel: There’s that momentum shift Comoroto was looking for. He looked dead and buried but now it’s Corral who is on the edge of defeat.
Comoroto applies more pressure and Todd Franklin asks Corral the question. He shakes his head and stretches his fingertips to their extremities until……..finally…….he just brushes the bottom rope and Franklin calls for a break.
Como eventually agrees to release but, as Corral gets back up, he goes straight for a Single Leg Takedown. Corral stays on his back and plants his boot on Como’s forehead to thrust him away. Como looses his grip and flies backwards, rebounds off the rope and walks straight back into a Mafia Kick.
Daniel: That was with his injured leg! Both men giving their all to shine in their return to WPW.
Como again rebounds off the rope and Corral catches him with the Triple X – Release Dragon Suplex into an Unprettier. Como flops over and Corral covers.
1………………
2………………
3………………
Ding Ding
Mina: Your winner, Mike ……the Saint…….Corral.
The crowd give a muted response to Corral’s victory as Harry Alanson gets in the ring to check on his fallen employer. Corral snatches his raised hand back from Todd Franklin and quickly gets out rather than face the monster manager. He shows off his Maple Leaf shirt as he makes his way backstage and gets some applause while the Wu Tang Clan track plays on the PA.
Daniel: Fine start to the program. What can I do to make your evening more complete now, Max?
Max: A camera backstage in the diva’s locker room?
Daniel: Your wish is my command.
Backstage, Sophie Cassius enters the divas’ locker room with Sexxxie Goregous and Amanda Rhyme. A huge glass of fruit smoothie festooned with ribbons and cocktail sticks sits on a table. Sophie picks up the card lying against the glass and reads:
‘For the lovely Sophie. Passion Fruit and Papaya – your favorite. Enjoy!
XOXOXO – a mystery admirer.’
Sophie: Wow! Fabulous! Look girls, I’m gonna enjoy this and I’ll catch you later. Okay?
Amanda: Yeah, sure. See ya later!
Sophie takes several long draws on the straw before putting the glass back on the table. She goes to undo a few buttons but then clutches her throat and falls to the ground gasping. A female assistant comes in, sees Sophie struggling and screams. She disappears then some paramedics rush in with a gurney.
Daniel: What was going on there? Looks like Sophie Cassius was having some medical difficulties. I hope that situation gets resolved soon.
Daniel: The following match is a rematch of sorts from Redemption, pitting the newly crowned Canadian Champion, Sky Ryder, against one of his opponents from the assimilation match, Spaz.
Max: What an honor to see the newest championship defended in its own backyard, huh Danny boy?
Daniel: You do realize the Canadian title isn’t on the line in this match, right?
Max: …I meant my championship. You know, the Canadian hot dog eating championship? Where did you think I was during that last commercial, anyway?
“Given Up” by Linkin Park hits the speakers, and a very determined Spaz steps out through the curtain. His focus is solely on the ring as he makes his way down the ramp, not even noticing the fans that are shouting in his direction.
Mina: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Now entering the ring – from Canada, weighing 245 pounds, SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!
The crowd pops to the mention of their home country, though it quickly dies down once they receive a glare from Spaz who is definitely the opposite of appreciative. Spaz’s face noticeably seems to be lacking its usual cockiness as he moves into the corner to begin stretching out on the ropes.
Max: These Canadian fans will cheer anything that’s from Canada, won’t they? Worst fans in the business, seriously.
Daniel: Now, now, we need to be nice to our newest fanbase, Max. …Even if they do decide to cheer the faces and boo the heels… and make calling matches unnecessarily difficult…
Max: See? Say it, I’m right. Say it!
Daniel: I plead the fifth.
“On The Outside” breaks the awkward silence, and the fans begin to boo. Sky Ryder makes his way into the arena, the boos growing in volume the further down the ramp he comes. Something is obviously bothering Ryder, though – and it’s not just the fans. He’s simply not his usual hyper self, instead strolling slowly down the ramp toward the ring, his Canadian Championship Belt haphazardly fastened around his waist by only one buckle.
Mina: And his opponent, he is the NEW Canadian Champion… From Dallas, Texas… Weighing 230 pounds… SKYYYYYY RYYYYYYYYYDER!
The fans boo even louder to the mention of an American city, and quite possibly to the fact that an American holds the Canadian title. Sky Ryder slides under the bottom rope, his Canadian Title unknowingly falling off beneath the bottom rope. He stands in the opposite corner from Spaz, looking a little bit spacey as if something else has his attention.
Daniel: What's up with Ryder tonight? You think he's thinking too much about Letty?
Max: Come on, this is wrestling… the only thing that should ever be in your mind is winning your match!
Daniel: Oh come on, Max, that’s being extremely disrespectful… she’s his wife, for God sakes… not that you would know anything about love.
Max: Sure I do. I cried for about twenty minutes when I lost my clean, crisp $500 bill at the blackjack table the other night.
Referee Chris Kay gives Sky Ryder a bit of a look as he picks up his Canadian Title, walking it over to the timekeeper’s table. Spaz watches it pass, disgusted, then turns back to his opponent as Kay calls for the bell.
*Ding Ding Ding*
Sky Ryder seems jolted back to reality by the bell, and looks around the ring for Spaz who is nowhere to be found. He soon realizes why, however, as Spaz appears behind him outside of the ring. He grabs Ryder by his boots and trips him up, dragging him to the outside with a THUD.
Daniel: Now there was no call for that, why resort to dirty tactics at the beginning of a match?
Max: You would complain no matter when he did that, and you know it.
Daniel: … Shut up, would you?
Spaz kneels down next to Ryder, cradles his head in his left hand, and begins delivering devastating punches one after the other to the face of the stunned Ryder. He slowly lifts Ryder up by the hair and drives his knee into his gut before pushing him forcefully into the steel guardrails. Spaz slides into the ring to break the count, then rolls back out, stomping heavily upon the chest of Ryder a few times.
Daniel: Looks like something’s gotten into Spaz tonight, huh Max? He claims he’s above the division he’s placed in, and what’s a better way to prove it than to defeat the champion of that division in Sky Ryder?
Max: **buuuuuurp**
Daniel: …Please, could you try to be a little professional? Just once?
Max: Yes, sir… mister Daniel sir.
Daniel: Now see? That was nice, thank you.
Max: **buuuuuuuurp**
Daniel: …So much for professional huh?
Max: You said once, that was once.
Spaz has Ryder back to his feet once again and slams his face into the ring apron, Ryder coming to rest upon it. Spaz’s smirk returns as he grabs Ryder by the waist, rolling him into the ring just at the 8 count from referee Chris Kay. Spaz rolls him onto his back, and expecting the easy victory, simply lays his back against Ryder’s side. Kay gets into position...
1…
2…
….SHOULDER UP!
Daniel: It won’t be that easy, Spaz! He’s the champion for a reason, you’re going to have to earn it tonight.
Max: He better not take too long to earn it, those nachos are NOT sitting well.
Spaz rolls over onto his knees and looks at Ryder, a little surprised at the life shown. However, he seems unaffected and lifts Ryder up, sending him into the nearest corner with a simple toss by the head. He climbs up onto the middle rope and once again grabs Ryder by the head, delivering the mandatory nine-punch, followed by a very strong tenth punch, which sends Ryder collapsing to the mat. Spaz turns and sits on the top turnbuckle, pausing to admire the damaged caused to his opponent.
Daniel: Hey now, don’t be too sure of yourself Spaz…
Max: And why not? Look at Ryder, no way he’s getting up.
Spaz slowly makes his way down from the turnbuckle and kicks Ryder in the ribcage cockily. He laughs a little bit and does it again, but this time Ryder is ready for it and grabs his ankle, sending him off-balance. Ryder grabs ahold of Spaz’s leg and wrenches as much as he can until Spaz falls to the mat in surprise – but unluckily for him, Spaz falls against the ropes and Chris Kay has to call for a clean break.
Daniel: See! Sky Ryder is never out of a match, no matter how beaten down he may be.
Max: We’ll see about that, won’t we?
Daniel: But he just … oh, never mind.
Spaz slides out of the ring, once again surprised that his opposition is putting up more of a fight than expected. He adjusts his boots and glares into the ring, reassessing his gameplan. He wipes his nose with his arm, stretches out a little and slides back into the ring. Spaz walks a circle around the weakened Ryder, contemplating, then picks him up by the hair once again. After a short reprimand by Chris Kay (which, as you might expect, falls upon deaf ears), Spaz whips Ryder across the ring and attempts a clothesline on the rebound. Ryder’s instincts apparently kick in, however, and he ducks the attack. His momentum carries him into the opposite rope, and he springs off in an attempted cross body, but Spaz has this well scouted and side-steps the attack, sending Ryder rolling across the ring.
Max: Your boy doesn’t look to good, now does he?
Daniel: I’m not about to count him out, not by a long shot. Even though he may not be all mentally there, a good wrestler has instincts, and he’s definitely showing them here tonight.
Max: $5 says he doesn’t get another offensive move in?
Daniel: … I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but… you’re on!
Spaz collects himself again and does a slight calculation in his head, looking at both Sky Ryder and either side of the ring. He decides the left side is the better way to go and bolts towards the ropes to the left of Ryder, springboarding backwards off of them in a textbook Lionsault. His momentum carries him through and onto his knees, but he falls forward and hooks the leg of Ryder to keep them away from the ropes.
1…
2…
……KICKOUT!
Daniel: There’s still some life left in the tank of old Sky Ryder! Spaz can’t believe it!
Max: Neither can I! My intestines are about to explode, damn it! End this already!
Spaz pounds the mat, the frustration beginning to build. He returns to his original gameplan and drags Ryder to the bottom rope, forcing the heel of his boot to the back of his neck, choking him upon the rope. Referee Chris Kay begins his five-count, and Spaz lets go just before the count of five. Spaz lifts Ryder up, who is struggling for breath, and drops him down on his head with a strong, forceful DDT. Spaz looks over at Ryder, his eyes telling him not to kick out as he goes for the cover.
Max: This is it! Five bucks, dude!
1…
2…
…2.5….
……KICKOUT!
Daniel: I can’t believe my eyes! Sky Ryder WILL NOT quit here tonight! What is it going to take to put him away?
Max: Here’s the plan: Nachos, beer, chili, and a massage chair.
Daniel: Excuse me?
Max: Simple. Spaz force-feeds him the chili and nachos, sticks him on the massage chair, and waits. Sooner or later, Ryder will have to go to the bathroom LIKE SOMEBODY HERE, and will be forced to take the count-out loss. Brilliant, no?
Daniel: You’ll only get this inside analysis here in WPW. Max Stockton, ladies and gentlemen.
Back in the ring, Spaz is having a very heated discussion with referee Chris Kay about the speed of his counts. Behind his back and out of view, Sky Ryder has managed to get up to his knees. He musters up all he can and delivers a strong forearm to the small of the back of Spaz, who screams out in pain from the surprise attack, dropping down to his knees.
Sky Ryder realizes this may be his best chance to walk away with a victory, and slowly crawls towards the nearest corner. He climbs up to the second turnbuckle and stalks Spaz from behind as he slowly makes his way to his feet.
Daniel: He’s going for it all here! If he connects with this, it’s lights out!
Max: Please don’t notice the club to the back, pleeeease don’t notice the club to the back…
Daniel: …and you owe me five dollars.
Max: …Shit.
Ryder waits until Spaz is in prime positioning for the J-S-K-O, takes a deep breath, and dives off of the turnbuckle. Spaz hears the clinking of the turnbuckle, however, and catches a glimpse of the man flying at him. Spaz’s first reaction is to grab the extended arm of Sky Ryder, and they both fall to the mat. Carrying Ryder’s forward momentum, Spaz keeps his tight grip upon the arm of Ryder and rolls through into a bridge, locking on a one-armed version of the Ascension!
Daniel: What a brutal takedown, and what athleticism and where-with-all shown by Spaz! He’s got that Ascension mostly locked on, and Sky Ryder has to use that free arm if he has any chance of escaping!
Sky Ryder battles, his left arm making long, wide strikes at the side of Spaz who each time attempts to trap his arm. Spaz wrenches back harder after Ryder’s third strike and Ryder screams out, his next attempted punch falling short of its mark. Spaz seizes the opportunity and locks his left arm in a chicken-wing, leaving Sky Ryder with little chance to escape. He continues to fight, however, his legs both kicking against the mat, desperately attempting to free himself from the excruciating hold.
Soon, the kicking subsides, and Ryder’s body is left lifeless, face down on the mat and in the arms of Spaz. Spaz screams “CHECK HIM!” to referee Chris Kay, who obliges by grabbing Ryders arm.
He lifts it up once … and it drops to the mat in a thud.
Daniel: Ryder is totally out of it!
Spaz wrenches back on the hold again and Chris Kay lifts his arm a second time … and it falls back to the mat once again.
Daniel: One more of those and this match is over! … Wait, something’s missing…
Spaz’s eyes light up in confidence and he bridges his body as far as it will go, screaming out himself as he contorts his body in an attempt to keep Sky Ryder subdued for another count. Chris Kay lifts Sky Ryder’s arm up into the air, his other hand forming a “three”. He lets go and the hand of Ryder falls lifelessly back to the mat! Chris Kay waves his arms and calls for the bell!
Mina: The winner of this match, by submission… SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!
Daniel: That’s it! Sky Ryder put up as much of a fight as he possibly could, but in the end, it was Spaz who came to the show more prepared this week. Something tells me Sky Ryder was never mentally in this match, but in the end, it’s only the loss that will go in the record books for him. Anything to add, Max? …. Max?
Spaz exits the ring and grabs the Canadian Title from the timekeeper. He rolls back into the ring and shakes his head, dropping the title on Sky Ryder’s chest. He places his foot upon the title and raises his arms in the air, once again showing his smirk. The crowd is torn, whether to cheer the victory of their Canadian brethren or to boo the blatant disrespect of the Canadian title. The resulting noise is that of slow clapping, and random groans.
Daniel: Spaz may think that beating the champion puts him above this division, but that’s not his call to make. I would love to see these two face off another day down the road where both men are focused on the match, but that’s just me. … Max! Where the hell were you?
Max: Whatever you do, don’t use the third stall in the bathroom near the entrance. Trust me.
Daniel: … And on that note.. let's.. go to break. Quickly.
“Ten Thousand Fists” by Disturbed hits and all of the lights in the arena go out. As the drums to the song kick in, deep, dark red lights begin to flash in time with them. When “SURVIVOR!” is heard, all of the lights turn a brighter red and Smike slowly walks out through the curtains.. He walks forward and pauses at the end of the entrance way, waiting for the second “SURVIVOR!” where he raises both his arms to his side and the fans cheer.
Daniel: And there he is, I have to say going into this match the odds on favorite has to...............what the hell are you doing..
Max: Im a survivor, Im not gonna give up, Im not........huh? Im singing the song, duh......
Daniel: His song is by Disturbed, not Destiny's Child.
Max: Well it should be, because a great wrestler needs a great theme song!
Daniel: ......I'm just going to shut up for now..
Once the first verse of the song kicks in, dark and brighter red spotlights flash randomly throughout the arena at a fast pace as Smike begins his walk down the ramp in sync with the music. He acknowledges the fans with a slight grin and a nod, but doesn’t get close enough to shake hands. He walks up the steps and pauses on the apron, looking out into the crowd as if to both silently thank them, and to remind himself that he’s doing what he loves. He gets into the ring and moves towards the nearest corner, he steps onto the second turnbuckle and eyes the crowd once more, and as he begins to raises his arms, his musics cuts out abruptly leaving Smike looking around confused.
Mina: Introducing first.. He weighs in tonight at two hundred and thirty three pounds, from Tampa, F.. er.. Ontario, Canada.. He is... SMIKE!
"The Prisoner" by Iron Maiden kicks in from the beginning. Wasting no time for the song setup, Jamie Parker comes out from behind the curtains in his soccer kit. He is sporting a small bandage across his forehead and he is holding a soccer ball.
Max: See! Now THAT IS A THEME SONG!!
Daniel: .....Anyways, it looks like Parker is still a little banged up from that Substitution by Scorch he took onto a chair at Redemption.
Parker sets the ball on the stage and looks out around the arena. He is getting some boos, but they seem to be canceled out by a fat lady in the front row who is wearing a shirt 3x too small judging by the fat rolls hanging out. The shirt reads 'Parker got me pregnant.' Giving a glance in the womans direction, Parkers eyes widen almost in horror as he quickly kicks the soccer ball nailing her in the head and sending her crashing back on top of 3 small children.
Max: O THE HORROR!!!
Daniel: I know! I cannot believe Parker would do something like that to a fan!
Max: What?
Daniel: The fan..he hit with the ball?....just now!?
Max: He hit a fan!? I was worried about the fat cow that just fell back on those little kids! They had nachos in their hands!
Daniel: ............You really are an ass aren't you?
Max: O look she rolled over, they are saved!
Mina: And, coming down to the ring.. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and thirty six pounds.. He is 'the number one Florida State Champion from 2007'.. From Harchester, England, he is.. JAMIE... PARKER!
By now Parker has made his way down the ramp with a grin on his face again as he climbs up the steps to the ring and climbs through the ropes. Parkers music fades out and the bell rings to start the match, Smike shakes his head slowly as Parker turns and looks out to the crowd raising his arms. At this moment, Smike runs up quickly and grabs Parker between his legs and around his waist pulling him backwards into a schoolboy pin.
Max: Cheater!!!
Daniel: Its a schoolboy pin Max!
1....2...kick out.
Smike rolls off of Parker and both men are quickly up to their feet. Parker doesn't seem happy and as Smike turns around he gets met by a hard right hook from Parker sending Smike stumbling into the ropes. Bouncing back off the ropes, Parker throws another right hand sending Smike down on his back. Parker quickly reaches down pulling Smike to his feet and pushes him back into the nearest corner. Parker holds Smike for a moment before stepping back and throwing a hard slap in the face of Smike.
Daniel: Oh come on, a total show of disrespect by Parker!!
Max: Well you're not supposed to hit ladies Daniel, but slaps are ok.
Smike stands in the corner now, holding his face for a moment and watching Parker who is taking a couple of steps back now. Smike runs forwards and Parker quickly ducks a clothesline attempt. Smike stops quickly and turns in time to catch Parker with a back elbow as he turns. Parker stumbles back holding his face and the crowd cheers. Smike quickly grabs Parker and whips him across the ring into the ropes and as he comes back, Smike quickly flips Parker onto his back with a hip toss. Parker is quick to roll back up to his feet only to recieve another hiptoss and Smike then drops for a quick cover.
1.....Kick out.
Max: QUICK COUNT!!!! THE REFEREE IS CHEATING!!!
Daniel: Cheating? It was a one count.
Max: Exactly, Parker obviously had his shoulders up before the one count!
Smike is standing, looking slightly tired from having moved around so much already. Parker is getting to his hands and knees now and Smike begins to pull him up, as he does, Parker quickly brings his right arm up, sending a european uppercut right into the jaw of Smike sending him stumbling back. Smike tries to approach Parker again, only to get laid out by a hard clothesline sending him down on his back. Parker stands over Smike and looks around the the crowd with a smile befor dropping down on Smike with a hard elbow drop followed by a pin.
1.......2.....Kick out.
Smike manages to lift his shoulder off the canvas and Parker sits up quickly looking down at Smike. Shaking his head, Parker pulls Smike up to his feet slowly but gets cut off as Smike throws a hard punch to the gut of Parker. Parker pauses and bends over, still holding onto Smikes head only to recieve another punch to the gut by Smike. Parkers grip lightens up and Smike slowly stands now, throwing one more punch that sends Parker back a few steps. Smike looks around now as the fans are begining to cheer, he quickly runs and rebounds off the ropes, flying back at Parker with a clothesline but Parker quickly ducks it. Smike stumbles trying not to fall but as he turns back to Parker he is met with a foot as Parker nails a step-up enziguiri. Smike drops to the canvas and holds his head as Parker is already climbing back up to his feet. Parker looks down to Smike then quickly runs towards the nearest ropes and jumps up to the second rope and dives into a moonsault towards Smike. Parker lands ontop of Smike landing a perfect lionsault and Parker quickly hooks Smikes legs going for the pin.
1........2......kick out.
Daniel: Wow perfectly executed lionsault by Parker and still only a two count!
Max: It was a three count! The referee is cheating, I told you this al......o look a peanut...
Daniel: Your not going to...
Max: <munch, munch, munch>
Daniel: You are......
Parker sits up looking upset as he quickly stands to his feet shooting a cold stare to the fans around the arena. Parker moves to the corner and climbs up onto the second rope looking around once more then glancing down at Smike. Parker jumps form the second rope and extends his legs but at the last minute Smike rolls out of the way of Parker who went for a second rope leg drop.
Daniel: And Smike lives!!!!!!
Max: <munch, munch munch>
Daniel: What the...what are you eating now!?
Max: <munch> mm...theres this stick <munch, munch> stuff under the table <munch>
Daniel: ............
Parker rolls holding his ass and Smike is slowly climbing back to his feet only moments before Parker is getting back up on his own as well. Parker turns in Smikes direction and throws a right hand only to have Smike duck it and catch him around the waist from behind. Smike lifts and drops back nailing Parker with a good old fashion standard backdrop. Parker hits but is quick to roll and climb to his feet holding his back, as he stands, Smike stands as well and catches a stumbling Parker around the waist again and lifts him up then drops down into a hard sidewalk slam. Smike hooks Parkers legs and pulls as best he can going for a pin. Smike doesn't even get a one count now as Parker already kicks out and is moving towards the corner in a crawl. Smike slowly stands up, trying to catch his breathe as he looks to be tired from the match going at such a fast pace. Parker pulls himself up in the corner and as he does, Smike quickly runs forward and dives at Parker who quickly jumps up and over Smike who was attempting a corner spear. Smike drops down into the second turnbuckle with his head and he quickly bounces back to his feet holding his face. Smike slowly stumbles back and Parker reaches forward to turn him around a deliver a hard kick to the gut of Smike, bending him over.
Daniel: Ouch, after that fall into the turnbuckle, it looks like Parker has control in this match again!
Max: And thats the way it should be!!!!
Parker looks around now and pulls Smike's head between his legs and hooks him by the waist. Parker pulls Smike up in a rotation fashion until he is resting ontop of Parkers shoulders, but something goes wrong and Smike continues rotating until he rolls over Parkers head and drops down behind him barely landing on his feet. Both men turn but Smike quickly steps forward and with everything he has, extends his arm and delivers a huge stiff clothesline to Parker sending him spinning off of his feet.
Daniel: And thats it, 'Just Stop!'
Max: But I didn't do anything??
Daniel: No the....oh nevermind!
Smike stumbles and drops down, rolling Parker over onto his back and making the cover.
1.........2...........3!
Mina: Here is Your Winner...... SMIKE!
Daniel: Well there you have it. Smike has successfully beaten the self proclaimed ‘Best Florida State Champion”
Max: Guess that doesn’t count for much in Canada, does it?
Parker rolls from the ring and ends up on the outside on his feet. Pissed as all bloody hell! He moves to the announcing table, and proceeds to pull out a steel chair and a microphone. Smike has not yet noticed, nor has the referee, despite the noise of the crowd. Smike turns and is greeted with steel to his face. The Crowd voice their disgust at Parker - and Parker, in return, voices his.
Parker: You know, I might have a reputation as someone who isn’t exactly fair. But The way I see it. Fair is not what the world is about. If the world were fair, I’d have been World Champion a long time ago. Fair, right? So as talking and complaining doesn’t seem to work, I’m going to try a new Strategy... Punctuation.
I want a World Title shot. And Perhaps if I put a few *He taps his chair* Exclamation points across Smike’s, The Apparent Future of the Company, knees.. Then Perhaps Carlos listens. And Cassius loses to me! Fairness Restor...
“Falls Apart” by Hurt begins to Play over the speakers and out Comes Carlos Gonzales. He gets a slight pop as he looks over at Parker, a slight smile on his face.
Carlos: Of all the two-bit, attention seeking ways to get a Title, Jamie Parker, Yours is honestly the worst! The Dumbest way I have ever seen! Do you think I care about Smike’s well-being. That I would lose a day of sleep if you broke his foot or his knee right now? I tell you what.. You want to be in a Contenders match? You want to have a change against JMC?
You got it.
But don’t think its because you’re holding me at gunpoint. You’re not blackmailing me... In Fact, Hit Smike For me, would you?
Max: What?
Daniel: Don’t do it!
Parker looks confused, looking between Smike and Carlos.
Carlos: Do it! Or I’ll revoke your Title shot!
Parker raises the chair and brings it Down on Smike’s Back!
Carlos: Brilliant! Do it again!
Parker joins in with Carlos, Laughing as he hits Smike a second Time!
Carlos: Great stuff. Now, meet your opponent in the number one Contenders match.. Smike’s best friend!
Parker’s face plummets as the crowd go crazy. Passing by Carlos is the blur of David Nicolls. Nicolls runs headfirst into the ring as Parker begins to panic.
Max: Haha, Carlos sure got you tricked, Parker!
Daniel: Jamie Sure bit of more than he can chew!
Parker throws a swing with the chair at Nicolls and Connects. Down goes Nicolls... But he gets back up again, Nicolls legs seem to swerve from under him and he falls over again but gets up and makes a beeline for Parker. Jamie, stunned by this retreats from the ring, still looking threatening with the chair. Nicolls, still concussed but standing starts talking trash at Parker.. Only he is not facing Parker. He realises and moves around and starts telling him to come ‘get some’.
Daniel: There you have it! Next Week, Number One Contender’s match. Parker and Nicolls. And Nicolls with some reason to hate Parker!
Max: If he remembers any of the past 10 minutes.. Or three Years! God, I’ve seen healthier looking stoners! Hey, just to change tradition.. I'm going to call the ad break for once! So, up yours, Daniel Justice!
Max: Welcome back to Tuesday Night Turmoil!!
Daniel: Are you happy now, I finally let you do an intro and an outro?
Max: Yes, sir!!
Daniel: Ok, good. Folks, in our next match, we have a man who was speared through a steel cage only a week ago at Redemption during the brutal Sell Your Soul match, going one on one with the returning Mykal Adams!
Max: Mike Adams?
Daniel: No, not Mike Adams, haven't we been through this enough times in the past, Max?
Max: I guess not.
Daniel: Right, well anyway. The former Florida State Champion Mykal Adams returned during our Redemption Pay-Per-View last week, in an attempt to save The Stallion from Royalty.
Max: So why the hell is he facing Gunnar Brian?
Daniel: I guess you'll have to ask the bookers that one Max.
Max: Yeah, like they know what they're doing.
Daniel: You don't like having a job, huh Max?
Max: Meh, its ok.
Daniel: Anyway, lets go over to Mina.
Mina: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
"Just close your eyes" hits and the lights are yellow, and out walks Mykal Adams to the center of the stage dressed in his wresting attire with a black and gold hoodie on. He looks to the crowd, pulls the hood off of his head, spins around, and the pyro goes off from behind him. He points to the crowd (and especially acknowledges the ladies in attendance) as he makes his way to the ring. He slides under the ring, goes to the turnbuckle, climbs it and then removes his hoodie. He looks for a "hot looking female" in the front row to throw his hoodie to, and once he finds her, he throws the hoodie to the girl he selected.
Max: Who the hell does this guy think he is? Val Venis?
Daniel: Good god Max, we haven't held him down that badly!
Max: Aha, funny guy.
Daniel: Thank you. Anyhoo, Mykal Adams has already said this week that if he loses here tonight in his first match back in WPW, he will only be elligable to be booked on Live for the next two years.
Max: So what you're saying is that if he loses tonight, he'll be facing Beno every week for the next two years?
Daniel: Yeah, probably.
Max: And he won't get a pay cut or anything like that?
Daniel: Well I don't see why he would, why?
Max: Then I guess Mykal Adams is throwing the match this week, huh?
Daniel: What? Why the hell do you say that?
Max: Well he said if he loses he's going to be booked on Live for the next two years. Live has easier opponents, he won't get a pay cut, and he's probably already bet heavilly that he'll lose tonight. So basically he has far more to gain in defeat tonight than he does by winning.
Daniel: I don't think everyone quite thinks like you Max. Not everyone is looking for the easy way out. And I have no doubt that Mykal Adams is not looking for the easy route in WPW. If he were I really doubt he would piss off Royalty on his first night back!
Max: That's true I guess.
Mina: First, from Destin, Florida. Weighing in at two hundred and fourty pounds, Please welcome back....MYYYYYYKALLLLLL ADDDDDDDDDDAMMMMMSS!!!
The lights fade and the music begins to play, Gunnar walks out as he looks towards the sky. He pauses for a moment as he holds his hands out. He then looks down at the floor as the lights come back on. H reaches out to the fans before sharply pulling away pointing to himself and mouthing 'You all love me, but I hate you all' He walks down to the ring and slides under the bottom rope. Once he is in the ring he gets to his knees, and raises his arms upwards. He takes off the unoffical Gunnar shirt stating 'I hate WPW alot, but I hate you more'
Daniel: This man was very unfortunate to be eliminated when he was at Redemption last week, being speared through the steel cage by David Nicolls. But believe me when I tell you that Gunnar Brian opened the eyes of a lot of the WPW higher ups in that Sell Your Soul match.
Max: Yeah, and he shut the eyes of the crowd in attendance.
Daniel: Max, do you like anyone?
Max: Of course I do, Mina is hot!
Daniel: Right.
Max: But c'mon Danno, this guy is boring. He talks an average game, and he competes less than that. He's never even held a title in WPW, so why hes held in such high regard is totally beyond me.
Daniel: As are quite a few of the goings on in WPW.
Max: And what is that supposed to mean?
Daniel: Don't worry your little head over it Max. Just try to do the job that none of us can believe you've maintained for the past two years.
Mina: And his opponent, from Manchester, England. Weighing in at two hundred and twenty five pounds....GUNNNNNNNARRRRR BRIIIIIAAANNNN!!!
The referee rings the bell, and immediately Gunnar Brian rushes Mykal Adams. He backs him into the corner and begins punching him down, completely taking Adams by surprise. Adams tries to fight back early on, but Gunnar continues to get in some hard shots, including a couple of knees to the head as Adams goes down, seating himself in the corner. Gunnar begins to stomp his opponent in the corner of the ring, the referee shouting at him, but being completely ignored. Gunnar puts his foot into the throat of Adams and begins to choke him out as the referee begins to count. The referee gets to four, and realises that Gunnar is still ignoring him, so he pulls Gunnar away.
Max: Wow, what the hell was that all about?
Daniel: I don't know. Maybe Gunnar Brian is trying to prove a point.
Max: I guess.
Daniel: Or maybe he overheard your comments about him, and is gonna come for you next.
Max: Yeah right, like he could do a thing to me.
Daniel: So what you're saying is you would be totally fine to face Gunnar Brian next week on TNT?
Max: I don't remember saying that...
Daniel: You implied it.
Max: Implied?
Daniel: Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting the Dan Murph of the commentary booth!
Max: What?
Daniel: Nevermind, I'm sure someone will get it.
The referee tells Gunnar off, wagging his finger to show his authority. (Ohhh scary!) The referee turns around to walk towards Adams to see if hes ok, but as soon as he turns Gunnar flies by him, sprinting towards Adams before he can get up. Gunnar gets down to his knees in the corner, and begins to punch Adams in the face. Gunnar is totally relentless, not giving Adams a chance to get up, or a moment to catch his breath. The referee tries to pull Gunnar away, but Gunnar shoves him down, and again goes to work on his opponent, now having him in a headlock, and puching him in the side of the face. The referee gets up, and thinks about disqualifying Gunnar, but he doesn't, instead he attempts one more time to pull Gunnar away from Adams. He grabs at the waist of Gunnar, and begins to pull him away, using up all his strength in the process. Eventually he peals Gunnar away. Gunnar instantly gets to his feet, and turns towards the referee and begins shouting at him, asking what the hell is problem is.
Max: He's right. What the hell is your problem ref?
Daniel: What? You were just saying what a waste of space Gunnar Brian is, and now you're taking his side?
Max: Yes, Yes I am!! The way hes approached this match, the intensity hes shown. How can you not love it?
Daniel: Well I'm sure the referee doesn't, hes damn near disqualified him twice already, and if Gunnar isn't careful hes going to lose this match very soon.
Max: Yeah, like thats anything new in the life of Gunnar Brian!
Daniel: WHAT?!?! You just said that you like how hes approaching this match!! Will you stop switching sides already and just pick one!
Max: I have!
Daniel: Ok good, whos?
Max: I'm not telling!!
Daniel: Oh, thats real mature, Max!
Gunnar is really angry with the referee, infact his face has turned bright red. Shouting at him telling him to stop trying to hold Gunnar down, and instead doing his job! Gunnar turns around from the now scared to death referee, and is about to go on the assault again, but as he turns Mykal Adams bombs out of the corner with a vicious spear! Taking Gunnar straight down, and this time unloading with rights and lefts of his own to the face of Gunnar. This time the referee doesn't do anything, he just stands there and watches, letting Adams do whatever he wants to Gunnar. I guess he took the verbal assault by Gunnar personally.
Daniel: And now its Mykal Adams turn to assault Gunnar Brian!
Max: What the hell is the referee doing? Why the heck isn't he stopping this?
Daniel: Maybe because Gunnar Brian doesn't seem to see why the rules should be inforced?
Max: Well if hes going to inforce the rules for Gunnar, shouldn't he inforce them for Adams too?
Daniel: He should, but after Gunnar decided to take the law into his own hands, I can't say I blame him for not doing so now.
Gunnar pushes Mykal off of him at last. He gets straight to his feet and hits a couple of punches, but Adams kicks him in the abdomen and begins to fight back with a couple of rights and lefts in return. Adams whips Gunnar into the ropes and gives him a big times clothesline, knocking him down onto the mat. Gunnar holds the back of his head as he looks up at Adams with a look of fury in his eyes. Gunnar gets back up and tries to assault Adams, but he fails miserably again, as Adams ducks and when Gunnar turns around Adams catches him off guard with the Kiss of Death!! (Iron claw)
Daniel: The Kiss of Death!!
Max: Oh boy!!
Daniel: It's not an actual kiss, Max...Don't get too exicted.
Max: I know that!! What do you mean don't get too excited? What do you think I am?
Daniel: I would tell you, but I don't think I'm allowed to use that kind of language on the show.
Max: That language? What language can't we use on the show?
Daniel: French.
Max: What? Why can't we use French?
Daniel: *sigh* Nevermind, Max, Nevermind.
Gunnar tries to resist the kiss of death as long as he possibly can. But hes begining to fade, you can see it in his face. This has to be the end of this match, and for Gunnar tonight on TNT. Adams is putting all of his might into this move, and now with some clear leverage over Gunnar, there can't be any way out of this move, can there? Gunnar makes one last attempt at getting out of the move, as he forces his way to his feet. He tries to break the grip of Adams, but he has no such luck. Adams pushes down with the claw, as Gunnar tries to resist, knowing that if he doesn't he is surely in for another defeat. Gunnar begins to fade once more though, but with a desperate, last ditch, survival attempt. Gunnar kicks Adams in the knee. It seems to have helped a little. Adams holds on, but Gunnar kicks him in the knee again, and again. Gunnar has loosened the grip, so he now begins to punch the arm of Adams, finally breaking his grip, and the hold.
Daniel: Great work from Gunnar Brian there, I'm really surprised he was able to get out of that move, I thought he was a gonner.
Max: I didn't, I knew Gunnar could get out of this, and now hes going to go on to win this match!
Daniel: So you've finally picked a side then?
Max: What are you talking about? I've been rooting for Gunnar all the way through this match!
Daniel: No you haven't!
Max: I have so!
As Adams falls down to one knee, Gunnar sees this as his golden opportunity. He climbs through the ropes, and stands on the ring apron, looking straight at Adams, waiting for the right moment to strike. Adams doesn't move too quickly, but Gunnar is stalking him, he doesn't want to rush this, if he goes for him at the right moment, he will almost definately walk out of vancouver and the first edition of Canadian TNT with a victory. And in the process doom Mykal Adams to a long stint on Live. Adams finally, slowly gets to his feet. He steadys himself, holding his knee. Adams turns around, and Gunnar immediately springboards onto the top rope and goes for the Gundanium (720 DDT) Gunnar spins and lands it, NO! Adams moves out of the way and Gunnar lands in the ring, flat on his face. Adams shakes the cobwebs, and then looks down at Gunnar. He grabs Gunnar by the leg, hooking his own leg around it. He shouts out "YOU ARE MY BITCH!!" and then locks in the "YOU'RE MY BITCH" (STF). Gunnar begins to scream in pain, but hes in the centre of the ring, and it doesn't seem like he has any route out of this. He struggles to try and get towards the ropes, and actually manages to move towards it a little. But he just can't get close enough, Adams has the move locked in. Gunnar screams in pain, until he can't take the pressure anymore. Gunnar hesitantly taps out, the referee rings the bell. And Adams lets go of the hold.
Mina: The winner of this match, by submission...MYYYYYYKALLLLLL ADDDDDAAAMMMMMMS!!!!