The Judge
09-05-2007, 03:45 AM
WPW TUESDAY NIGHT TURMOIL
Tuesday 09/04/07
Elba High School Gym
Elba, Alabama
Daniel: Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to another fantastic edition of Tuesday Night Turmoil!
Max: How do you know it's fantastic when it's only about five seconds old?
Daniel: The same way i knew you were an idiot five seconds after i met you. I have a talent for these things.
Max: Pity t's the only talent you have. OHHHH BURN!
Daniel: Right, moving on!
Daniel: Up now……..
Max: Ooooh! That’s cliché number one, Daniel.
Daniel: What do you mean, Max?
Max: I’m fining you a dollar for every cliché you use and statistics prove that 72% of matches that you call start with “Up now”.
Daniel: Well, if we’re playing that game then I’ll fine you a dollar for every crummy gag or mixed metaphor.
Max: I don’t mix metaphors Daniel, just a fiiiiine margherita.
Daniel: That’s a dollar back already. This could be a profitable match. And what a match it is - Brock Goodman versus Gunnar Brian in an action replay from last week’s Live upgraded to prime time on TNT .
Max: And what sort of match does it promise to be?
Daniel: It’s gonna be a slob………..it’s gonna be a…….pretty good wrestling match. Here’s announcer Mina to tell us all about it.
Max: Ah, Mina……a body like a playful dolphin sculpted by Michelangelo.
Daniel: Michelangelo was a homosexual, Max.
Max: That’s not what he told me in bed last night.
Daniel: I’m not even going to try and dissect that one.
Mina: Up next……...
Daniel and Max: You owe us a dollar!
Mina: This match will be decided by one fall or submission and is between, approaching the ring at a weight of 225lbs and hailing from Manchester, England, he is still WPW’s only dyslexic wreslter, Gunnarrrrrrrr Briannnnnnn!!!!!!
‘The Importance of Being Idle’ by Oasis hits the PA and Brian walks out and looks to the sky.
Daniel: Do you think he’s only doing that to annoy Goodman – the man who just happened to be in the ring when Ben Whyndam was taken from us?
Max: Taken from us? He broke his fucking neck!!!
Daniel: The police were satisfied that that was purely a sporting accident and that, after a large donation to the police benevolent society by Carlos Gonzalez, no further proceedings were to take place.
Max: Thank goodness for our honest upright cheap upholders of the law.
Brian completes his entrance with his arms wrapped round himself in the corner of the ring.
Mina: His opponent, weighing in at 295lbs and hailing from Sin City, Utah, he is Brock Goodmannnnn!!!!!!
Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson prickles the hairs on the back of the goths’ necks in the audience as Goodman makes a no nonsense entrance, ignoring his own pyro.
Daniel: I didn’t know it was Sin City, Utah. Did you Max?
Max: No, I thought he meant Hollywood. You live and you learn. Maybe Mina made it up.
Brock doesn’t wait for referee Todd Franklin to complete the formalities, steaming straight in with a shoulder charge. Brian bounces against the ropes and walks straight into a German Suplex. Brock hulks up in the manner of Brock Lesnar. The crowd gives a mixed reception.
Daniel: Well, have we got the old Brock Goodman back in the ring? He didn’t seem to be holding back there. The crowd seems to have picked up on that and is giving him some heat.
The ghost of a smile crosses Goodman’s lips as he turns and applies a half Boston Crab on Brian before he can rise. After punishing Brian for a few seconds, he shifts into position for a Chokeslam which he delivers with a roar.
Max: Solid work from Goodman.
Daniel: Goodman’s work is as solid as Mrs. Justice’s beef gravy and I’m currently using that to hold the bricks together in that outhouse I’m building.
Goodman drops and covers.
1……….…..2……..Brian kicks out.
Goodman thrusts a knee into Brian’s sternum and uses the ropes for leverage to maximize the pain until Todd Franklin warns him. He counts to 5 and hits Goodman’s hand to force him to let go of the ropes. Goodman releases and gets into Franklin’s face. Todd doesn’t back up however and shows Goodman the referee shirt. The argument gives Brian time to recover and when Goodman turns back, Brian’s strong lariat catches him square in the throat. Goodman sinks to his knees struggling to breathe.
Max: Brian is as sharp as a porcupine with its own quill sharpener. That should even things up a little.
Brian follows up with a double underhook DDT and rolls Goodman over to cover.
1……………Goodman throws him off easily but Brian drops an elbow to subdue him again. Goodman gasps so Brian drops another and then goes to the top turnbuckle for a Brian’s Best Moonsault.
Max: Incoming!!!
The moonsault lands and Brian covers again.
1…………2………..Th, no……shoulder up.
Brian complains that the count should have been three but Todd Franklin indicates only two.
Brian returns and drags Goodman up to force him into a Belly to Belly Suplex.
Daniel: Brian started as a porter in a store lifting heavy goods. It was only a short step to WPW – lifting heavy goods. Goodman is 70 lbs heavier than him.
Brian applies a wrist lock while thinking out his next move. Goodman shakes off his discomfort and rises to his feet, twisting his way out of the lock before Brian can react. He chops Brian and follows up with a Big Boot. Brian fails to go down though so he helps him on his way with a Gutwrench Suplex then a Leg Drop. Brian tries to escape but Goodman pulls him back and applies a Cobra Clutch.
Daniel: Don’t let him take you to the top rope, Gunnar, or this one is over. The Cobra Clutch Backbreaker off the top rope is a sure finisher, and it looks like Goodman has lost any inhibitions that he may have had.
Goodman starts to haul Brian upwards but Todd Franklin insists on release as Brian clutches at a rope. Goodman throws Brian face forward in disgust then stomps him square in the back for good measure.
Max: Goodman has done well, considering his severe disability.
Daniel: I didn’t know that he was disabled.
Max: Goodman was born with a complete absence of charisma, Daniel. It took half an hour before his mother and the midwife realized that he was lying there between her legs.
Daniel: That one was quite funny, Max. I’ll not fine you for that one.
Max (to himself) : Wasn’t supposed to be a joke. I had it straight from the maternity home.
Goodman continues his dominance with an stf. Brian yells with the pain but refuses a submission. Franklin asks the question again but Brian shakes his head and his fingertips finally manage to brush a rope. The referee calls for a break. Goodman reluctantly complies. The wrestlers get to their feet and slowly circle each other looking for an opening. Goodman is distracted by a remark from the crowd and Brian hits him with a swift European Uppercut. This brings some blood to Goodman’s bottom lid which he dabs at as Brian chuckles ‘The doctor is in’. Goodman charges unexpectedly and knocks Brian flying with a hefty shoulder. Brian bounces back off the rope and is caught by Goodman in the stance for a C4.
Daniel: Have the paramedics on standby.
Goodman gets a gleam in his eye and a fierce grin on his face while Brian looks terrified. Goodman backflips, pulling Brian with him in the awesome ‘For Now, Sleep’.
Max: Is it finished yet? I don’t wanna look.
Goodman covers. Franklin counts.
1………………….2………………….3!!!!!
Brian lies, twitching occasionally while Goodman rises to accept the stunned applause of the healthy crowd.
Daniel: I thought we had seen the last of that one. To be honest, I thought we had seen the last of Brock Goodman, but he’s back, and by the looks of it he’s badder than ever.
Medics do slide in the ring to check on Brian but he is shakily helped to his feet and manages to stumble his way backstage all the while ignored by Brock Goodman intent on riling the crowd. It is at least two minutes before he exits the ring to make his way backstage.
Johnny Bad Blood is already in the ring stretching as we pan over to Max and Daniel.
Daniel: Here we go with another first round matchup in the Tournament of Champions!
Max: Speaking of champions, this man certainly knows what it takes to be a champion. Jamie Parker is a former tag team champion and he is the curretn Florida State Champion.
Daniel: But it seems Jamie is always wanting more, and this tournament could very well be a fast track ticket to glory.
"The Prisoner" blasts through the arena as Jamie Parker steps out of the curtain with the Florida title over his shoulder making the belt motion around his waist and then he kicks a ball into the crowd and knocks out someone wearing a Royalty t-shirt.
Mina: Here is his opponent, he is the Florida State Champion, this is Jamieeee Parker!!
Parker stares at JBB and sprints towards the ring and opens up with rights and lefts on JBB as Mina runs out of the ring and the ref rings the bell.
Max: Well it looks like some of the anger Parker seemed to have this week has carried over into this match.
Daniel: Well in his eyes, this match is just meaningless and he wants to get to the second round as quickly as possible. He shouldn't count out Johnny Bad Blood though.
Max: Why not?
Parker is beating JBB in the face as Johnny is trying to cover himself up but to no avail. Parker is then pulled off by the referee but Parker stays on the attack by kicking the kidneys of Johnny. The ref is trying to get Jamie to back off, but Jamie isn't listening. Jamie backs up a bit then looks to set up a big punt to the head. As Jamie goes for the kick Johnny lifts his head and grabs the foot of Parker and pulls him to the mat and clamps on the ankle lock suddenly!
Max: How the hell did that happen?
Daniel: I told you not to discount JBB!
JBB stands up and applies lots of pressure on the ankle lock as Jamie is in the center of the ring trying to scramble for the ropes. Jamie looks as if he is going to tap as JBB is jumping up and down screaming and adding more pressure.
Daniel: Huge upset in the making right here!
Max: No freaking way! Not Johnny Bad Blood!
Jamie uses his fists and plants himself on the mat and uses his leg strength to roll through the ankle lock and send JBB to the outside. Jamie tries to shake the pain out of his leg as he just looks fuming at JBB on the outside.
Max: I think all that did was make Parker even angrier.
Daniel: I can't help but agree.
JBB gets up on the ouside and Parker runs at the ropes and baseball slides JBB right in the face and the force send him against the guardrail with his upper body hanging over the guard rail. Jamie then quickly hops up to the top rope and leaps off the top delivering a double stomp to the upper back of JBB as he screams in pain.
Daniel: Ouch that looked pretty brutal.
Max: You can say that again.
Daniel: Ouch that looked pretty brutal.
Max: I hate you with a fire that burns of a thousand suns, you knnow that?
Jamie gets up and senses the end is near for Johnny and grabs his legs and lifts up the lower body of JBB as the front still hangs over the guardrail. Jamie then holds both legs with one arm and delviers a few short elbow strikes to the back of JBB's knees. Parker then lifts both of JBB's legs high in the air and slams them down as both kneecaps crash into the concrete.
Max: Oh my God!
Daniel: That was just vicious! This is certainly a much more aggressive Jamie Parker than we are used to seeing folks.
Max: I guess he is sending a message to everyone else in the tournament that Jamie Parker is a contender.
Parker just laughs and nudges the head of JBB with his boot as he goes back and rolls into the ring. Jamie just sits in the corner as the ref starts his count.
1........................
2........................
3........................
Daniel: Johnny still hasn't moved Max.
Max: I know, but those fans there seem to be trying to encourage him.
Parker gives a mocking yawn in the corner of the ring as the weight of JBB finally brings him off the guardrail as he rolls to the floor.
4.........................
5........................
6........................
JBB is crawling very slowly toward the ring and using the ring skirt to try and pull himself up.
Daniel: Maybe it'd jsut be better for JBB to stay down.
Max: Jamie certainly doesn't seem to believe it.
Jamie uses the ropes to pull himself up and walks towards the ropes to look at JBB pulling himself up.
7.......................
8.......................
JBB gets a leg on the apron and up comes the second one as Parker is jsut shaking his head.
Daniel: He's gonna get back in there! He's going to do it!
Just as JBB is about to pull himself into the ring on his own power, Jamie grabs the head of Johnny and pulls him to the center of the ring. He sets JBB up with his head in between his own legs. Parker then quickly and suddenly nails the Sustitute on the much larger JBB.
Max: Canadian Destroyer! That should do it!
Parker covers JBB and hooks the leg.........1.....................2............... ........3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mina: Here is your winner, Jamie Parker!!!
Daniel: I think Parker just showed why he is a threat to become the first man to simultaneously hold both the Florida State title and the WPW Championship.
Carlos Gonzalez is walking backstage when he happens across a group of wrestlers standing around.
Carlos: Leave, all of you! I want a word with Mr. Dreamer here.
The wrestlers all disperse leaving just Justin Dreamer and Carlos.
Dreamer: Problem?
Carlos: You may recall that last week you spoke to me in a manner that is quite frankly above your station. Perhaps having seen how the leader of the great Resistance was dealt with on that same show, you have something you might want to say to me now, or would you care to go down the same path as The One?
Dreamer: Firstly, It’s in no way above my station to speak to anyone how I choose. That’s my right as an American. Secondly, what you did to the One was despicable, and I hope it blows right back in your face, kind of like how your little Royalty chums do when you lock yourselves in your locker room.
Carlos’ face turns a bright red color and he grabs his tie and loosens it a bit.
Carlos: How dare you! If that’s how you want to play it Dreamer, then you and every other son of a bitch who insists on having a smart mouth will pay, just like The One did. If you watch tonight’s show closely enough, then you’ll see what I mean!
Carlos walks off indignantly as Dreamer looks after him, then just shrugs his shoulders and walks in the other direction.
Suddenly the lights in the arena go out, and for a moment everything is pitch black.
Daniel: What the hell?
Max: Oh no, not another scary person. I’m tired of scary people.
There are muffled voices and whispers in the crowd as ten seconds go by without anything happening. Slowly a few people begin to cheer restlessly, and a few more begin to boo, when finally a noise breaks the silence.
“Beh-Kaaaaah!”
Daniel: That was a chicken noise!
Max: Listen, a new song!
~Who’s the chicken?! Oh yeah! Who’s the chicken?! Who’s the chicken now? ~
~Who’s the chicken?! Oh yeah! Who’s the chicken?! Who’s the chicken nooooowwwww? ~
The song breaks into a rap.
~ Oh yeah, ever since I was a chick, my skills have been uber sick, I’m the king of the roost, now it’s time to cut you loose!~
~You lookin’ yellow son, yeah you better run, there’s a new chicken in town, and I’m takin that royal crown!~
~My moves are ill, I’ll slam you against your will, I was hatched from an egg, and yet I struggle to get a seg….~
~…ment on the show, what the cluck yo? Yall just afraid of the flow, of El Pollo… Negro!~
Suddenly El Pollo appears on the entrance ramp, his feathers all died black, and a mask covering his face as the crowd look on in utter and complete confusion.
~El Pollo! …. El Pollo, Negro!~
~El Pollo! …. El Pollo, Negro!~
Daniel: Why… That’s El Pollo!
Max: No it’s not, it’s El Pollo Negro!
Daniel: Sorry… My Mistake…
El Pollo flaps his wings as he struts down the ramp, then finally gets to the ring apron and flaps his wings jumping up like Bobby Lashley. Barely making it onto the ring apron, El Pollo then acts as if he’s going to fly over the top rope as well and the fans pop. El Pollo then flaps one big wing at them and then climbs through the top and 2nd ropes instead to a chorus of boos from the fans. El Pollo looks quickly to the fans once inside the ring and raises a middle talon yelling “Cluck off!”. The lights turn on and his music dies down as he grabs a microphone from the corner of the ring.
El Pollo: Mic check, one, two…
El Pollo taps the microphone with his wing for a second.
El Pollo: Hello to all my chicks and cocks in Alabama!
The crowd give a somewhat mixed cheer.
El Pollo: This place is much better than that hell hole Kentucky. Fucking bastards up there the lot of them. Anyway, as you may or may not have heard, it’s time for a change here in WPW. Equal treatment has been demanded, and as thus, until I start to see things change around here, I’ve decided to change with the times. Yes, no longer will I be known as my slave name of El Pollo, no. From now on, you will all know me as El Pollo… Negro!
Max: What’s he talking about Daniel?
Daniel: Hell if I know.
The crowd begin to shift a bit not really sure what reaction to give before El Pollo Negro continues.
El Pollo: Yes, times are a changin’, and it’s time for this chicken to shed his old feathers and find a new way of life, so I decided from now on every week I will be inviting any superstar from the back who wants a shot to come down to this ring and challenge me! No attacks from behind, just straight up one on one competition! You all saw the report on WPW’s website earlier in the week, so now I ask who out there is brave enough to take on not El Pollo, but the new and improved El Pollo Negro? Be there a man who can handle a cock like me?
Daniel: Can you handle the cock Max?
Max: Shut up…
El Pollo Negro waits a few seconds, then quickly brings the microphone back up to his lips.
El Pollo: Ah well, no worries then, see you all nex-
Suddenly Tank’s music hits the speakers.
Daniel: It’s Tank! Tank is accepting the challenge!
Max: El Pollo Negro doesn’t look too happy about it Danny boy!
Tank appears on the stage with a big smirk on his face, then suddenly breaks into a run toward the ring. El Pollo Negro drops to the mat and slides under the bottom rope as Tank slides in. Tank raises his arms to the crowd as they cheer him. After a moment El Pollo Negro’s voice breaks through the music of Tank’s entrance theme.
El Pollo: Hey hey… Okay now settle down. Everyone just chill. I’m sorry, hold on, I’m sorry, I was misleading.
The crowd begin to boo as El Pollo pauses, then rolls back under the bottom rope.
El Pollo: Yeah, ok. Anyway. I think I wasn’t clear. This challenge was supposed to be for the light feathered chickens.
Tank’s face starts to cringe with anger and the crowd begin booing as well.
Daniel: Oh fuck, this is gonna get us pulled, quick commercial!
Max: It’s not time yet Daniel!
El Pollo: You see, you and I… We brothers man, we gotta stick together through the hard times, and fight against The Farmer.
Tank words the mouth “The Farmer?”
El Pollo: Sorry, The Man I believe your breed calls him. You know, the big guy holding us all down? We gotta unite man! Not fight! We already lost Kaze to this war when he went Michael Jackson on us, we can’t be fighting each other. What do ya say?
El Pollo Negro puts out a wing for Tank to shake. Tank looks to the wing, looks out to the crowd who are booing, and then runs forward in a burst of energy and clotheslines El Pollo Negro to the mat. The referee rings the bell.
Daniel: Looks like Tank wasn’t interested in making an alliance with the chicken Max!
Max: Who in their right mind would be?
Daniel: A turkey on thanksgiving?
El Pollo Negro gets to his feet and the instant he’s up Tank clotheslines him hard back down again.
Max: Now that I think about it though, this is kinda messed up.
Daniel: Why?
Max: Well, El Pollo Negro was just looking for a friend, a brother, a nest-buddy, why is Tank so mad?
Daniel: It was an open challenge Max. Not Chicken Friend Finder.
El Pollo Negro gets to his feet and as Tank is incoming again, El Pollo quickly raises his foot and rams it into Tank’s abdomen. Tank falls to one knee and El Pollo quickly runs to the ropes to gain some momentum.
Max: Uh oh, I heard about this Daniel, it’s his new finisher?
Daniel: What is?
Max: What he’s doing now. He calls it the Big Black Cock.
Daniel: Good lord…
Tank stands and El Pollo Negro dives at Tank with a spinning wheel kick but Tank catches him in the air. Tank quickly drops to one knee again and this time brings El Pollo Negro’s feathery back right down on top of his knee. El Pollo Negro folds up and lies broken on the mat as Tank quickly hooks the leg.
One
Two
Three!
Daniel: Tank has pinned the new El Pollo Negro!
The crowd erupt in cheers as a huge smile spreads across Tank’s face.
Mina: The winner of this match, Tank!
Max: This is so unfair. El Pollo Negro had to be distracted by that stupid kid from Ocala, Florida that is licking his lips in the front row.
Daniel: You mean Mini Todd Franklin?
Max: That’s not his god damn name.
Tank lets the referee raise his hand as El Pollo Negro rolls to the outside of the ring. He clucks loudly at Mina and she quickly dives out of her chair.
Daniel: Hey, leave her alone!
El Pollo Negro grabs the steel chair she was sitting in and folds it up, then looks back to the ring where Tank’s back is facing him.
Daniel: Hey, what is El Pollo thinking here?
Max: It’s El Pollo Negro, and the answer to that is simple. He wants to prove a point!
El Pollo waits until Tank’s back to close to the ropes, then he pulls the chair back to get maximum impact on his swing when suddenly the chair is ripped from his hands. The camera isn’t fast enough to catch who took the chair, but it does catch a pair of hands and arms swinging the chair at El Pollo Negro and cracking him over the skull.
Daniel: What in the blue hell? What just happened?
Max: El Pollo Negro!
Daniel: Someone just cracked El Pollo Negro right in the face with that chair. Who is it?
Max: It must be that Farmer guy.
Daniel: Can we get another look please?
The camera goes to instant replay and catches the chair being swung just in the corner of the screen. Even slowed down it’s impossible to figure out who swung the chair, and the camera shot soon goes back to a laid out El Pollo Negro.
Daniel: Damnit. We’ll be right back, can someone please work on that camera shot?
Daniel: Okay everybody we’re back, and we’ve been told just a second ago that perhaps we can see a better angle if we look with the second camera at ringside.
Max: When did we get a second camera at ringside?
Daniel: Apparently we’ve had one all along, but the camera man behind it is blind, and he’s under contract for another five years, so he doesn’t typically get very good shots.
Max: Oh yeah, he’s the son of Carlos’ friend right?
Daniel: I think so… He has that website, “What the eye cannot see photography”.
Max: The guy we sent with the camera in the divas locker room telling him it was Scorch’s?
Daniel: Yeah, that’s the guy!
Max: Oh, okay.
Daniel: Anyway, we’re told this time he was actually there though for once, and his camera was pointed right at the action!
Max: Well let’s see it!
After a few moments the replay starts, and shows El Pollo Negro chasing Mina out of her chair. The camera man runs with the camera toward the scene when suddenly a hand reaches out toward the camera.
Daniel: Here we go and… Hey!
Max: What the cluck?
The hand places the lens cap on the camera, and the shot goes black.
Max: Hey! What the hell is that?
The crack of the chair is heard a few seconds later.
Daniel: Someone put the lens cap on!
Max: Yeah obviously, but how’d they know the camera man was blind? I didn’t even know he was an employee, just thought he was some dude who hung around backstage!
Daniel: Well this just keep getting weirder and weirder Max. Anyway, let's just head straight into our next match, which is a very important match for a lot of people.
Mina: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the number one contendership to the WPW Florida State Championship. First making his way to the ring from Canterbury, England, weighing in at 250 pounds, Jason Bennett!
"Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach hits and the crowd boo like crazy. At the point where the music stops, 8 seconds in, a huge explosion followed by a hoarde of fireworks erupts. The smoke clears and we see Jason standing at the entrance, with his back to the fans, in a cross shape.(Like Chris Jerichos entrance). He spins round, looks at the ring and starts to walk towards it, gets to the canvas, jumps up to the edge(like Lesnar did), more pyro's go off then Jason jumps onto the top rope and forward flips into the middle of the ring with his back to the entrance. Then he slowly turns around, takes the coat off and waits for his opponent.
Max: So this is what a jobber looks like.
Daniel: What are you talking about, he is a former WPW Tag Team Champion!
Max: Who recently jobbed the belts away and got dropped by his partner.
Mina: And his opponent, being accompanied by the WPW Tag Team Champions the Judge and James Moriarty Cassius, he is the Royal Knight!
"E-Pro" by Beck hits the speakers and Royal Knight stands out on the entrance ramp flanked by JMC and The Judge, soaking in the reactions. As the lyrics begin, gold fireworks pour onto him. He closes his eyes and looks straight into them. He makes his way to the ring, lifting his arms a la Randy Orton. He climbs the turnbuckle, throwing his arms into an X at the wrists as JMC and The Judge stand outside the ring.
Daniel: Here comes one of Carlos favorite sons.
Max: What makes you say something like that?
Daniel: No matter how many times Royal Knight fails to win the Florida State belt, he keeps getting more chances at it.
Max: That is because he knows this kid is one of the best ever to grace WPW and he should have his own super title. But he is so selfless he will settle for an inferior belt like the Florida State Championship.
Daniel: I think Bennett’s old partner and the current Florida State Champion, Jamie Parker, might disagree with you on that one.
Max: The same Parker who turned his back on Bennett, potentially setting up a battle between the former championship partners.
Royal Knight tells the referee to go check Jason for a weapon, then takes advantage of the distraction to hit Jason with a running forearm shot to the side of the head. He follows up with some right hands to the face as Jason tries to cover up in the corner. Another shot knocks Jason against the turnbuckles and Knight starts to kick away on his chest. Bennett slumps down in the corner as Knight keeps stomping away, ceasing only at the count of four to run back against the ropes then come flying in with a dropkick to the chest. He drags Bennett from the corner and goes for the early cover…
Daniel: A bit of a surprising move here from Royal Knight.
One…
Bennett kicks out without much trouble causing Knight to pull him up to his feet quickly.
Max: Not really, he is a smart wrestler, makes sure Bennett has to use up his energy.
Knight whips him against the ropes and hits a big back body drop as Bennett bounces off the mat back first. Knight hits a hard stomp to the ribs then kneels down with his leg over the throat of Bennett. The referee begins a count
One…
Daniel: Come on now, this is unnecessary, break the hold.
Two…
Max: This is perfectly legal and great strategy.
Three…
Four…
Daniel: It is a cheap tactic used by those who cannot follow the rules.
F…Knight stands up off the throat to break the count, then kneels back down on the throat…
Max: See he broke it before the five count.
One…
Daniel: Only so he could reapply it.
Two…
Three…
Max: Bennett had plenty of time to catch his breath. I bet Royal Knight breaks it again soon.
Four…
Daniel: Only so he can reapply it once again I bet.
Fi…Knight once again breaks the choke and again starts it right back up as soon as the count is broken…
Max: See I told you, he follows the rules.
One…
Daniel: And I told you he would just do it again, this is ridiculous.
Two…
Three…
Four…
Max: Look at Bennett tries to fake his way into some sympathy from the crowd. Pretending to turn blue like that, who does he think he is, Dan Murph?
Fiv… Knight takes his leg off the throat for a third time and flips Bennett over onto his stomach then sits across his back and reaches his arms under Bennett’s head. Knight locks his hands under the chin and starts to wrench Bennett up and back in a camel clutch. The referee leans down to check on Bennett who verbalizes his refusal to tap out so early on in the move and the match. Knight continues to pull back, at times using more force to increase the pressure of the hold as Bennett starts to fade. Bennett reaches out for the ropes but his hand is a few feet away. Knight screams for him to tap out but Bennett refuses and begins to crawl toward the ropes. Knight sees Bennett beginning to reach for the ropes and shouts for the official to check on him again. Bennett reaches out for the ropes, but JMC pulls it away from his former client! Bennett looks shocked at JMC’s antics but he still reaches out and gets the rope anyway! The referee spots this and orders Knight to break the hold…
Daniel: I am not sure I believe what I just saw there, JMC just tried to screw a former friend and client.
Max: Why would that surprise you, Daniel, he took away the same man’s title at ReActivation. Royal Knight is his boy now and he takes care of his own.
Daniel: He should just let Royal Knight try and do it on his own.
One…
Two…
Three…
Four…
Max: I think Jason may tap out to this one.
Fiv…Knight finally releases the hold, rolling Bennett back over and hooking the leg…
Daniel: You idiot you cannot tap to an illegal move, can you?
One…
Two…
Max: Finally, Royal Knight is moments away from his destiny, embrace his greatness I say, embrace it. Parker should just give him the belt, completely with a fresh new shine.
Thre…Bennett rolls his shoulder up to break the count.
Daniel: Not so fast, Max, a phrase you know all too well. We could still see the clash of the J’s.
The Judge gets up on the apron and distracts the referee while JMC holds Bennetts legs allowing Knight to stands on the throat of Bennett. The referee turns back around and starts his count yet again
One…
Two…
Daniel: Now this is just getting redundant now.
Three...
Four…
Max: Your face is getting redundant now.
Daniel: That made no sense whatsoever, Max.
Five…Knight drops down into a pin just in time…
Max: Only to your mom, oh burn.
One…
Two…
Daniel: You need more help than Royal Knight.
Three…NO! Jason Bennett gets the shoulder up. Knight picks him up and runs off the ropes, Bennett ducks a clothes line, Knight rebounds off the ropes and gets stopped by a kick to the midsection. He gets dropped with a quick DDT and Bennett goes for his first cover…
Max: No, he cheated there! Bennett was choking him before that DDT.
One…
Daniel: Do you just make things up as you go?
Two…
Max: Most of the time, sometimes I have notes.
A shocked Royal Knight is able to kick out of the pin, not having taken much punishment in the match.
Bennett stands up off of him and waits to Knight to get up. Bennett with a stiff right to the jaw, knocks Knight back a step. He locks in a front face lock and picks up Knight, dropping him back with a vertical suplex. He turns back and looks at The Judge and JMC and dares them to come to the ring before dropping an elbow and going for a pin.
One…
Two…
Max: That is why Jason Bennett is not as good as the great Royal Knight, he show boats way too much. Royal Knight is all about business, he gets the job done and is humble about his greatness.
Thr…Royal Knight kicks out of the pin attempt.
Daniel: Do you get excited whenever you see Royalty?
Max: I do salute them whenever I can.
Bennett picks him back up and whips him into the corner. He signals for a coming move and charges at Knight, but The Judge pulls his Royalty partner from out of the ring forcing Bennett to hit the turnbuckles chest first while JMC stands on the ring apron distracting the referee with his walking stick in hand. JMC points over to Knight on the outside, holding his ankle and screaming in agony, causing the referee to go check on his well being. Bennett starts to regain his awareness and spots Knight down and seemingly injured. He does not notice JMC getting in the ring behind him. JMC lifts up his walking stick and swings it like a baseball bat across the back of Bennett! He then lifts it up high and brings it down hard over the back of the head of Bennett, knocking him motionless to the mat. JMC rolls out of the ring behind the referee with his walking stick in hand as Knight starts to recover from his apparent injury.
Max: Such bravery being shown by the Royal Knight. Seriously, how can you not love this kid?
Daniel: For one thing, he just cheated and he is faking it.
Max: You sound like my ex.
Knight crawls into the ring and over towards Bennett. He pushes him over onto his back and drapes the arm across…
Daniel: This match has become a farce.
One…
Two…
Three…Royal Knight takes his arm off and mocks surprise that Bennett was able to kick out.
Max: Oh my, perhaps I was wrong about Bennett…look at that will and determination. How was he ever able to kick out of that?
Daniel: Please tell me you are joking.
He then rolls Bennett over and locks in another camel clutch. He screams at Bennett to tap out, but Bennett does not respond causing the referee to check on him. He grabs the arm to check the pulse and calls for the bell.
Max: Wow, I do not believe it, Royal Knight has beaten the odds and defeated Jason Bennett.
Daniel: This was a travesty, JMC knocked out Bennett with his walking stick and now his golden child is getting yet another shot at Jamie Parker.
Mina: Here is your winner by submission and new number one contender to the WPW Florida State Championship, Royal Knight!
Daniel: This is disgusting, please cut to a commercial or backstage or something?
The lights suddenly go out and a single purple light shines on the ring. The arena falls silent and a unfamiliar voices hits the speakers, almost sounds like a elderly man. The word "Soon" shows up on the big screen.
Soon...
This Tournament takes on a new direction. It feels the wrath of the future, and remembers, never forgets the past.
Soon...
It will be all clear. For some the fear will realized, and for the few others it will be time to cheer.
Soon...
the time will finally come, and for your sake... may he have mercy on your soul. Soon...
The lights suddenly flash back on
Max: What the hell was that!
Daniel: Let's please go backstage.
El Pollo Negro can be seen walking quickly through the parking lot. Ethan Frost and a camera crew are running quickly trying to catch up to him.
Ethan: El Pollo! El Pollo come back! We want to know who might possibly be att-
Suddenly El Pollo Negro turns around and pecks Ethan hard in the neck. Ethan falls down and El Pollo Negro stares down at him.
El Pollo: It's El Pollo Negro! This time, the chicken bites back! Now Cluck off!
El Pollo suddenly spreads his wings and runs off into the darkness of the night.
Daniel: ...
Max: ...
Daniel: Whatever... how about that commercial?
Mina: Please be upstanding for an important announcement from WPW’s very own Jokester!!!
A few of the crowd start to sing the opening to ‘I am the Jokester’ anticipating another wacky entrance, but are brought up short when the PA starts to play Jimi Hendrix’s Woodstock version of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’. Confusion reigns before Jokester emerges from behind the curtain in suit and tie. The Bees accompany him, walking smartly two steps behind. They wear tweed calf length skirts, white blouses buttoned to the top, pearl necklaces, no, real pearl necklaces, and have obviously either been to a professional hairdresser or have used enough hair spray to create their own hole in the ozone layer. They are actually smiling.
Daniel: Good Lord, what on earth is this? Have they run out of drugs or something?
Max: I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. Check your billfold, Daniel. Check mine while you’re at it. This has to be one of Jokester’s schemes to part us from our paychecks.
Daniel: I think you could be right, Max. You know, I think he might have had a shave. The sky may be about to fall. Don’t give him a microphone, Mina. Arrrggghhh!! Too late.
Jokester taps the mic, once, twice……….three times, then, to make sure, smashes it off the mat a few times setting off some feedback as the music finishes on the PA.
Jokester: Yeah. It’s OK. I think it’s working. One two. One two.
(some crowd cheers as Jokester surveys the throng)
Jokester: Some of you will be aware of my recent record in a wrestling ring……….not too good, is it?.......sorta like bringing out Octopus’s Garden after the rest of the Beatles’ singles.Well, that record – my wrestling one, not Octopus’s Garden – has forced me to look for a fresh start – a new way of bringing my talents to the people.
Now……’what are those talents?’ I hear you ask……….
Jokester cups an ear waiting for the response. The crowd start to mumble ‘What are those talents?’
Jokester: I can’t hear you.
Crowd: What are those talents?
Jokester: I’m surprised you have to ask. I’m talking about my winning smile (pulls off a grimace)...... my unending supply of clever comebacks…..
Crowd member: You stink!
Jokester opens his mouth, but nothing comes out for a few seconds :……my unquestioned probity…….
The crowd look confused.
Jokester: Look that one up………….and the loyalty of my fans right here in Opp, Alabama. Thumb up.
The crowd cheers wildly and Jokester wipes the sweat from his brow, surprised at having got that right for once.
Jokester: Now where else, other than a wrestling ring, does a man like me belong?
Same crowd member: In the jaws of an angry shark on steroids.
Jokester: What’s that? Hosting Saturday Night Live? Well, you’re too kind, but they just couldn’t afford me. No, the place for a man like me is………..The Nut House! (Connie whispers something in his ear) ……….sorry, the White House!
Daniel: Oh my God, he really has gone insane.
Jokester: Yes, privileged fans, it is my honor to announce my candidacy for the 2008 US Presidential Election.
Sexy Crowd Member: Which party?
Jokester: Party at your house? Yeah, I could make that.
Same girl: No. Which political party?
Jokester: I dunno. What’ya got?
Same girl: Republican or Democrat?
Jokester: Oh, either. It doesn’t matter. I’ll be standing……or sitting…. and winning in the primaries for both parties………and the Independents. I’ll be standing in their primaries too. Yes. By late next year, it will be Jokester’s finger on the nuclear button, Jokester’s cigar in the intern’s panties, Jokester’s face on the two dollar bill…….but, rest assured, my wrestling commitments will be fulfilled. I gotta do something to pass my time. I thank you for your support and now………..if I’m not mistaken, I’ve got a wrestling match to win.
Daniel: Well, there you have it, wrestling fans. Somewhat in the footsteps of Jesse Ventura, our very own Jokester is standing for president of the USA. May the Lord help us all.Your thoughts, Max?
Max: I think we might just have witnessed genius, Daniel. I never liked Jokester with all his inane jokes, his questionable wrestling talent and his fat side women but I’m beginning to think that it’s time we had another clown in the White House. Look at the success the current one is having.
Daniel: That’s one vote in the ballot box for insanity. I have a strange feeling that there might be dozens…….even scores more. Luckily, Max isn’t registered, so there’s hope yet.
Jokester removes his suit and tie to reveal his familiar pink leotard with smilie face though the face wears a ‘Vote Jokester’ button. Vengeance’s music hits…….
Daniel: And we’re set for our second Tournament of Champions 2007 opening round match. And Max, these two guys have history together
Max: Sure, that and chemistry, if you catch my drift
Daniel: I’m sure I don’t. Former tag team rivals square off tonight as Vengeance takes on the Jokester in a match for respect
Max: Actually, I think it’s for the ToC, but who’s counting? Let’s start this baby up!
Jokester is already inside the ring. He’s bouncing off the ropes, intense. “Stronger” hits the speakers. After several seconds of music, Vengeance comes out, looking dark and mysterious. He makes his way to the ring, looking down toward the ground, deep in thought
Mina: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is an opening round Tournament of Champions match! Introducing first: Off the coast of Japan, weighing in at 255 pounds... Vengeance!
Daniel: All this guy wants is to be taken seriously
Max: He got way bent out of shape, thinking that Jokester disrespected him
Daniel: Plus he may still be upset after Fallen lost to Tokester a while back. Anything it takes to bring the motivation
The two men lock eyes in the center of the ring, daring each other to throw the first punch. Jokester looks stern, as if he actually wants to compete. Jokester offers his hand out to Vengeance
Daniel: What’s this?
Max: Has the laughing lunatic gone soft?
Vengeance, looking in shock, stares at the hand of Jokester. He doesn’t move an inch, just keeps looking at the hand
Daniel: A locked gaze
Max: I wonder what he’s looking at
Jokester pulls his hand back, then laughs. He pulls a strap off his wrist, showing a comedy buzzer
Daniel: That trickster!
Max: A hand buzzer? Oh, when will that crazy man learn?
Jokester sets down the buzzer, offering a real handshake. Vengeance, feeling better, reaches for the hand of Jokester. But the Jokester pulls his hand back, and delivers a thumb to the eye
Daniel: Thumb to the eye
Max: So much for growing up
Vengeance stumbles back and blinks his eyes a few times to see. He glares at Jokester, who is holding his arms up and asking “Get it?” Vengeance charges at Jokester, knocking him down with a clothesline
Max: I guess he didn’t
Both men make it back to their feet, but Vengeance is already all over Jokester, with rights and lefts. Jokester pushes the bigger man, allowing him a few seconds to breathe. But Vengeance grabs at the outstretched arm, and takes Jokester down with an arm drag. Vengeance holds onto his submission
Daniel: Vengeance looking for his respect
Max: Imagine the amount he’ll get if he can pull off an upset here against Jokester. Nobody has him pegged to make it past this match
Daniel: Exactly. It’s his time to shine
Jokester hammers away on Vengeance, but it isn’t enough to break the hold. Jokester reaches into his bag of tricks and pulls out – a thumb to the eye
Max: Original
Vengeance releases the hold, favouring his left eye
Daniel: Jokester, trying to blind the bigger man
Max: Why doesn’t he just do the things he did before to win?
Daniel: What do you mean?
Max: Vengeance has been taking it to Jokester this entire match
Daniel: Max, the match has only been going for a few minutes
Max: Has that ever stopped a WPW wrestler from winning before?
Jokester kicks Vengeance hard in the gut, causing him to drop his head. Jokester, seeing the opportunity, bounces off the ropes. He lifts his leg high into the air for a scissors kick. Alas, he only reaches a few inches of height before crashing down. Once he hits the mat, Jokester looks around to see if anybody is laughing. Vengeance definitely isn’t
Max: Interesting offense by Jokester
Daniel: What was even trying to do that for?
Max: Showing off his flexibility in ways which are legal
Vengeance is just staring at Jokester. His eyes look as if they are going to bulge out, and his veins are popping. Jokester stands up, and plants a kiss on the cheek of Vengeance, before retreating to a neutral corner. Vengeance looks ready to snap
Daniel: ...
Max: I’ve got nothing
Vengeance, rolling his eyes back, screams out in anger. He beats his chest, then charges at Jokester, giving up on wrestling and wanting to just hurt him. Jokester rolls out of the way, sending Vengeance chest first into the turnbuckle. He bounces off, and staggers in the ring. Jokester runs back in, and dives head first into the gut of Vengeance. Vengeance continues to stagger. Jokester, on all fours, bites at the shins of his opponent, like a rabid dog
Daniel: And now we see Jokester... biting his opponent
Max: You never know what to happen with this guy
Vengeance falls to his ass, then kicks at the face of the dog. Jokester falls back, getting a nasty shot to the nose. Vengeance makes the cover
One...
Two...
Thr... Kickout!
Daniel: Vengeance looking for a quick win
Jokester rolls out of the ring again, and Vengeance follows suit. The two men come to blows on the outside, trading rights and lefts. The referee begins to count
One...
Jokester and Vengeance are collar tied up, each trying to get an advantage
Two...
Vengeance wins the power struggle
Three...
Vengeance slams down on the neck of the Jokester
Four...
Jokester drops to one knee, while Vengeance continues to pound on the neck
Five...
Jokester grabs the legs of Vengeance, sending him to the ground back first
Six...
Jokester drops an elbow, and hammers with only lefts
Seven...
Jokester punches away, and yells at the referee “Six!”
Five...
Daniel: What?
The referee is confused. Jokester yells out “Four!”
...Three...?
[COLOR=paleturquoise]Max: Oh yeah, we only hire the best and brightest
Jokester yells out “Four!” again. The referee just throws his arms up, yelling “Forget it!” Jokester smiles at his handy work, but is met with a stiff shot to the temple, rolling Vengeance on top of Jokester
Daniel: So I guess now there will be no count outs in this match
Vengeance gets off Jokester, but kicks him in the ribs for good pleasure. Vengeance takes a few steps back, levelling up Jokester
Max: What’s he planning here?
Daniel: Looks like maybe a shot to the head
Max: Please, like that’ll put anybody down
Jokester struggles to his feet, just as Vengeance attacks with a big boot. But Jokester is down just enough to dodge the attack, sending Vengeance directly on his shoulders. Jokester stands up with ease
Daniel: He’s got him high in the air!
Jokester runs at the barricade, throwing his foe over and at the fans.
Daniel: I hope nobody got injured
Most get out of the way, except one. A skinny, red haired white kid in an oversized black t-shirt spills his beer from the impact. He looks down at Vengeance, then at his beer
Max: Say it...
Ginger: DAMN!
The entire crowd pops. Jokester shakes the kid’s hand, then picks up Vengeance from over the barricade. Jokester throws him back into the ring. Jokester climbs to the top rope, and after a few fancy taunts...steps off, not jumping
Daniel: Smart thinking by Jokester
Max: ...wow that sounded weird
Vengeance returns to his feet, but is brought down again with an armbar takedown. Jokester locks in the hold
Daniel: Shades of earlier
Max: That’s what you can remember of earlier?
Vengeance quickly makes it to the ropes, breaking the hold. Jokester signals for the end, waiting for Vengeance to return to his feet. Vengeance makes it up, and Jokester sets him up for his finisher
Daniel: Here is comes
Max: Whoopee Cushion
Jokester is about to execute the move, but stops. He kicks at the buzzer which was left in the ring to right below him. Jokester finishes the powerbomb onto the child’s electric buzzer. The shock sinks into Vengeance. Jokester makes the cover
One... Jokester breaks the hold
Daniel: What was that?
Max: He stopped the pin
Jokester seems shaken, but makes another cover
One... Jokester breaks away again
Daniel: I’m confused
Max: More than normal
Jokester just lets a single finger touch Vengeance, which causes an electric spark. Jokester looks in amazement. He keeps poking at Vengeance, watching the pretty colors
Daniel: Well that certainly is a new one
Vengeance makes it back up to his feet having had plenty of time to rest. He looks at his supercharged body. He shoves at Jokester. The electricity sends Jokester halfway across the ring and chargrilled
Daniel/Max: HOLY SHIT
Vengeance looks at the damage. He smiles. He kicks at Jokester, which causes him to rise off the air.
Daniel: That shock can’t be good for his heart
Max: Well, it can’t be any different than that shock he gets when he has those heart attacks
Vengeance picks up Jokester, who is now being charged with volts, and throws him over the ropes. Jokester is coughing up smoke
Max: Looks like the usual Saturday night for him
Jokester is trying to recover on the outside. Suddenly, he gets an idea. He heads over toward the announce table
Max: Hey, you stay away from me!
Jokester grabs a bottle of water. He returns to the ring, and takes a swig. Vengeance is about to make another punch, when Jokester spits the water into his face. Now Vengeance sizzles, and drops to the mat. Jokester makes the cover. The electro-shock has worn off
One...
Two...
Three...
Mina: Here is your winner... Jokester!
Daniel: Possibly one of the strangest endings I’ve ever seen
Max: I agree this had to be....
The lights shoot out once again and the lights turn to Purple and focus into the ring and the familiar word hits the speakers
Soon...
In this tournament of Champions his voice will be heard. You will know his name once again.
Soon...
Vengeance will be more than just a name, it will be more than a word.
Soon...
You will now what it means, and for you, the man who destroyed his soul, things will never look up again.
Max: What the hell? Twice in one show?
Daniel:I don't know, let's head backstages.
We see Scorch warming up in his locker room, when suddenly the door is opened and in walks Jamie Parker. From the look on Scorch’s face, it’s safe to assume he wasn’t invited. Parker meanwhile has a huge grin on his face.
Parker: Terribly bad news about SiNN, isn’t it?
Scorch: Have you got a reason for being here Parker?
Parker: No, not really, just came to wish you luck I guess. You’re gonna need it. After all, you and SiNN don’t have a great record tagging against Royalty, and well, SiNN aint gonna even be there this time. That added to the fact that the two you’re facing tonight beat me and Jason a few weeks back, and in the weeks before that I beat you and we beat you and The One, things don’t really look too bright for you now, do they?
Scorch: Like I said, any reason for you to be here?
Parker: No, I guess there isn’t. Anyway, chin up! At least there’s only two of them to worry about…. To begin with.
With that Parker walks out of the locker room, leaving Scorch to let out a deep breath and return his attention to his stretches.
The cameras go backstage where Jokester is leaving the arena with the bees. Just as he's about to get to the door to leave Johnny Bad Blood runs up in front of him.
Johnny: Hey! You realize the team of Aftertoke is walking out with a two and one record tonight right?
Jokester stares on at Johnny not saying a word. Connie and Tina are also staring, but more confused than actually ignoring him.
Johnny: Well... Anyway, did you want to go get a drink or something buddy?
Jokester stands silent for a moment, then without a word he, Connie, and Tina all walk past Johnny Bad Blood and out the back door toward the parking lot. Johnny is left standing there for a moment looking confused before the camera returns to the ring.
Daniel: Do we even have a main Event, now?
Max: Why wouldn’t we?
Daniel: You saw what happened Earlier. Royalty decided it would be a fun day to beat the unholy hell out of SiNN! SiNN is completely out fo it, and I don’t know if he’s been taken to the hospital or not but nevertheless he’s gone. Meaning...
Max: That since SiNN was in the main event, are we going to have a forfeit.. or a handicap match?
Daniel: Which is probably what Royalty is hoping for...
In The Ring, Mina is being fed information by a stagehand, she is nodding and soon enough is ready to make an announcement.
Mina: Ladies and Gentlemen.. Due to a backstage incident, SiNN will be unable to compete tonight in the Match of SiNN & Scorch Vs. Cassius and The judge... but Carlos Gonzales has ruled that the match shall continue.. in the exact same form as a handicap match!
Daniel: What?
Max: Oh, crap on a stick!
As soon as this information leaves Mina’s mouth, “Counting bodies Like sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drum” begins to play to a chorus of boos from the audience at this low handed manoeuvre. Cassius and the Judge appear side by side, smiling over at their respective sides of the crowd. Judge taps Cassius on the shoulder and says something that makes him laugh. The two then proceed down the ramp to the ring.
Mina: Introducing to this match first... Representing The Royalty. They are the WPW World Tag Team Champions.... The Judge and James Moriarty Cassius!!
Cassius and Judge have entered the Ring and Judge has charged up the turnbuckle holding out his Tag Team strap. Cassius takes his off his waist and spins on the spot with it outstretched in his arms.
Max: You have to hand it to them, they know how to make a good plan.
Daniel: I don’t have to hand them anything. They probably just killed SiNN all for a win!
“Blisters and Coffee” by The Classic Crime begins to play and the crowd explodes! Scorch, The WPW champion appears, holding out his WPW title in his hands. He shows it to the crowd which they react positively to before palcing it on his shoulder.
Mina: And their opponent... From Tinley Park, Illinois. He is the WPW WORLD CHAMPIONN!!! Scorch!!!!!
Scorch charges down, not stopping to shake any hands, knowing full well what awaits him down there. But he charges in and slides inot the rign with his two opposing wrestlers waiting for him.
The Judge elects to start things off for royalty, and JMC steps to the outside. Scorch looks across the ring to JMC, then turns his attention to Judge standing across from him. Scorch signals for a collar and elbow tie up, but Judge instantly hits a boot to the gut. Scorch bends over and Judge hits a double axe handle into his upper back, before shifting position and taking Scorch to the mat with a side Russian leg sweep. With his opponent down, Judge stands cockily waiting for him to get back, which doesn’t take long as Scorch instantly springs to his feet. Judge looks for a short arm clothesline, but it’s ducked by Scorch who hits a kick to the gut of his own. He grabs the arm of Judge and jerks himself and the Royalty member sideways, but Judge is alert to it and whips Scorch off the ropes.
Daniel: Bit ambitious there by Scorch. I think he might have been looking for the Ignitor so soon into the match.
Max: He’s scared Daniel. He saw what happens to people who disrespect Royalty, so he wants to get out of here as quickly as possible, and preferably in one piece.
Daniel: So, any ideas on who the culprit is?
Max: All I know is it wasn’t me. Although, I have my suspicions that it might be a former sports player.
Daniel: you mean Parker?
Max: No, Scorch!
Daniel: Right, and why would he want to take out his one remaining ally and his partner for tonight?
Max: Look, a flying gorilla!
Daniel: Yes, like that’s going to work to distract me.
Max: Worked on me before. I don’t think I can even mention the consequences on radio.
Daniel: Max, we’re on television, on a wrestling program. Speaking of which, we have a match in progress that we should turn our attention back to.
Max: Yeah, I know, but the wrestling kinda bores me.
Daniel: Amazing how you got booked for this job, isn’t it?
Max: I guess you could say that.
Daniel: Ok, enough! Back to the match!
Scorch comes off the ropes and hits Judge with a flying clothesline before jumping to his feet. He picks Judge up, but Judge charges him back into the corner and makes a tag to JMC. JMC comes in and Judge and Scorch take turns to lay boots into Scorch, until Judge leaves long after the referee’s five count.
Daniel: That was longer than the five count. Royalty should be disqualified
Max: Oh come on, when was the last time a team was actually disqualified for that rule?
Scorch has balled up in the corner, trying to protect himself from Cassius, who continues to strike on his own. JMC slams his foot down hard across the ribs of the champion. Cassius plants his heel on the forehead of Scorch, digging his foot in deep. Scorch clutches at the foot of Cassius, but has no luck taking it off. The referee once again steps in with the five count
One... JMC twists his foot in deeper
Two... Cassius grabs the ropes to plant down his heel
Three... Scorch grabs hold of the nerves around JMC’s ankle, pinching at his tendons. JMC releases the hold, right as the ref calls for 4
Daniel: Royalty really trying to use the clock in illegal ways
Max: Illegal? They get five seconds to do whatever they want
Daniel: Within reason. I don’t think a chokehold counts
Max: It was a stomp to the head, not a choke. And I’m the one who doesn’t know anything about wrestling
JMC takes a step backward, trying to take a bit of pressure off the not-so-damaged foot. Scorch meanwhile is trying to get to his feet, shaking the cobwebs out. Cassius charges at Scorch, and lays him flat with a clothesline. Judge claps in the corner for his partner, as the heavyweight champion grabs his head in agony. JMC glances down at Scorch and then makes his way to his corner to make a tag, but before he gets there, he gets hit with a dropkick to the back from a quickly recovered Scorch. JMC tumbles forward and knocks into judge, sending him sprawling from the apron. Cassius looks down at his partner, then turns round straight into a right hand. Scorch follows up the punch with several more until he is admonished by the ref. Scorch whips Cassius across to the opposite corner and follows up with a jumping knee to the ribs.
Daniel: If SiNN hadn’t been taken out, Scorch would eb able to make a tag right now.
Max: Talk about stating the obvious. SiNN isn’t here, nor is he gonna be here. So, no need to be making pointless statements like that.
Daniel: So, you have no idea who took SiNN out?
Max: I think it was a current second-tier champion
Daniel: Parker?
Max: No, Scorch!
Daniel: but he isn’t a second tier champion, he’s the heavyweight champion of this company!
Max: he sure looks second rate in that ring out there tonight.
Daniel: And I suppose he was the one who took out El Pollo too?
Max: No, that was The Farmer! Do you even watch the stuff you commentate on?
Scorch follows up on a winded Cassius with a DDT, snapping him to the ground. He quickly uses the middle rope to hit a lionsault and hooks the leg.
One
Two
Cassius kicks out, prompting Scorch to get to his feet. Scorch grabs the leg of Cassius and pulls him out from the ropes a bit. He drops to one knee and locks in a half Boston crab on the former WPW champion and waits patiently for JMC to no longer be able to absorb the pain. Cassius makes his way towards the ropes, but Scorch stands up and drags JMC backwards, but gets an unsighted kick to the head from Judge as he does. Scorch collapses to the mat and Judge quickly pulls JMC to the Royalty corner and makes a tag.
Daniel: Well, Cassius said he was going to destroy the Resistance tonight, and with SiNN already in a medical facility and the numbers game catching up on Scorch, he may be right.
Max: Well, despite Scorch’s assurances to the contrary, Resistance has been running around like a headless chicken since The One got fired last week. They may still be moving, but it’s only a matter of time before they die.
Daniel: Under other circumstances I might have congratulated you on the thought process behind that comparison. But Scorch said it best himself when he said Cassius was prone to overlooking him, so I wouldn’t rule out a comeback just yet.
Max: Look to the stage, maybe that will change your mind.
On the ramp, Royal Knight is making his way to ringside, still in his wrestling gear from his victory over Jason Bennett earlier in the night. He walks down to the Royalty corner and confers with James on the outside. Whatever he said is met with approval by the Royalty leader who nods his head, before Royal Knight makes his way back up the ramp.
Daniel: That was strange indeed, not like Royalty to make an exit before they’ve had some interaction with their opponents.
Max: Well, in these circumstances they hardly need Royal Knight anyway. Any more than the two they already have at ringside would simply be bullying.
Judge makes his way over to Scorch following the conference in the corner, but gets taken by surprise as he reaches down to Scorch and gets rolled up.
One
Two
Judge kicks out. Both men get to their feet and have the same idea as they simultaneously hit clotheslines. Both men are down, but Scorch is just a fraction quicker to his feet. Scorch uses the ropes to propel himself forward and hits his trademark stiff clothesline. Scorch again Whips his opponent into his vacant corner and looks for his running knee, but this time Judge catches the knee under his shoulder before it connects. As quick as lighting, Scorch jumps up and places his other foot on Judges other shoulder and twists his body to take Judge to the mat.
Daniel: that’s 492 reasons why The Judge is over-rated.
Max: What? Just cos Scorch hit one move?
Daniel: no, that’s what Scorch calls the move.
Max: Seems a bit ridiculous to name a move just for one wrestler.
Daniel: Idiot, his opponents name is substituted in depending on who it is.
Max: Still seems stupid to me. Look, we have more activity on the ramp.
Royal Knight has again made his way out to the ramp, only this time he has a steel chair. He pauses halfway down the ramp and calls something back up to the stage. From behind the curtain comes Jamie Parker, also brandishing a steel chair. Royal Knight waits and Parker catches up to him, and the two men walk side by side the rest of the way to the ring.
Daniel: What the hell is Parker doing out here? And why is he walking alongside his challenger for the Florida title?
Max: It was Parker! Parker was the one who took out SiNN as an initiation act for Royalty.
Scorch is alerted to the danger by the shouts from the crowd, and turns to face the two men, but they walk round to the Royalty corner instead of entering the ring. Scorch turns back to Judge, but gets met with a low blow. The rule breaking goes unnoticed by the ref who has gone over to try and persuade Parker and Royal Knight to leave ringside. The ref gives up and turns back to the action, just in time to see The Judge slide out of the ring and grab one of the tag titles. Judge climbs back into the ring with the tag belt, but is stopped by the referee, allowing Royal Knight to enter the ring unnoticed. Royal Knight approaches Scorch and lifts the chair above his head. A loud CRACK rings through the arena, but Royal Knight has yet to swing his chair. Turning round, Royal Knight sees JMC crumple to the floor and Parker dropping a chair on the outside. Royal Knight seems confused, which is all the invitation Scorch needs to spring into action and hit the Ignitor.
Daniel: What the hell?
Max: Don’t even bother to ask me, I haven’t got a clue!
Parker slides into the ring just as Judge tosses the referee aside. Judge makes to hit Scorch with the title belt, but as he does, parker jumps and nails a dropkick into the belt, sending it back into Judge’s face. Scorch looks to Parker, and Parker looks to Royal Knight on the ground, then to Judge beside him. Parker motions to Scorch to grab Royal Knight as he grabs The Judge. Both men lift up the respective members of Royalty and Scorch hits a sixth degree burn on the Knight as Parker hits a substitution on The Judge. Suddenly, both men look behind them as the bell rings. The referee is consulting with Mina on the outside.
Mina: the winners of this match, as a result of disqualification, James Moriarty Cassius and The Judge, Royalty!
Scorch looks incredulous at the ref, then shrugs his shoulders as he spots JMC get to his feet on the outside. JMC surverys the scene in the ring, as Parker grabs Scorch’s hand and raises it into the air with a smile on his face as both men glance down at the fallen Royalty members in the ring and their enraged leader on the outside.
Daniel: Did Parker just sign up for the Resistance?
Max: I don’t know. Can anyone explain what just happened out here? Or what the hell has been happening all night?
Daniel: Well, maybe it’s best if we don’t speculate and wait for the explanations and undoubted repercussions next week. We’re out of time, so goodni….
Max: wait, I’ve figured it out!
Daniel: Huh?
Max: El Pollo Negro took out SiNN for all the chicken he eats and Jokester took out El Pollo Negro as a vote-winner in the slave loving south.
Daniel: Good night everyone, and once again my apologies on behalf of my colleague!
Match Graphics
Artist: Mr. Hendrickson
Backstage Segments
Writers: APostingGod, Duff, The Judge
Brock Goodman vs. Gunnar Brian
Writer: Legendaryken
Johnny Bad Blood vs. Jamie Parker
Writer: Mike Adams
El Pollo Open Challenge
Writer: The Judge
Royal Knight vs. Jason Bennett
Writer: Scorch
Vengeance vs. Jokester
Writer: HBK619
Royalty vs. Resistance
Writer: Duff (entrances by Prometheus)
Tuesday 09/04/07
Elba High School Gym
Elba, Alabama
Daniel: Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to another fantastic edition of Tuesday Night Turmoil!
Max: How do you know it's fantastic when it's only about five seconds old?
Daniel: The same way i knew you were an idiot five seconds after i met you. I have a talent for these things.
Max: Pity t's the only talent you have. OHHHH BURN!
Daniel: Right, moving on!
Daniel: Up now……..
Max: Ooooh! That’s cliché number one, Daniel.
Daniel: What do you mean, Max?
Max: I’m fining you a dollar for every cliché you use and statistics prove that 72% of matches that you call start with “Up now”.
Daniel: Well, if we’re playing that game then I’ll fine you a dollar for every crummy gag or mixed metaphor.
Max: I don’t mix metaphors Daniel, just a fiiiiine margherita.
Daniel: That’s a dollar back already. This could be a profitable match. And what a match it is - Brock Goodman versus Gunnar Brian in an action replay from last week’s Live upgraded to prime time on TNT .
Max: And what sort of match does it promise to be?
Daniel: It’s gonna be a slob………..it’s gonna be a…….pretty good wrestling match. Here’s announcer Mina to tell us all about it.
Max: Ah, Mina……a body like a playful dolphin sculpted by Michelangelo.
Daniel: Michelangelo was a homosexual, Max.
Max: That’s not what he told me in bed last night.
Daniel: I’m not even going to try and dissect that one.
Mina: Up next……...
Daniel and Max: You owe us a dollar!
Mina: This match will be decided by one fall or submission and is between, approaching the ring at a weight of 225lbs and hailing from Manchester, England, he is still WPW’s only dyslexic wreslter, Gunnarrrrrrrr Briannnnnnn!!!!!!
‘The Importance of Being Idle’ by Oasis hits the PA and Brian walks out and looks to the sky.
Daniel: Do you think he’s only doing that to annoy Goodman – the man who just happened to be in the ring when Ben Whyndam was taken from us?
Max: Taken from us? He broke his fucking neck!!!
Daniel: The police were satisfied that that was purely a sporting accident and that, after a large donation to the police benevolent society by Carlos Gonzalez, no further proceedings were to take place.
Max: Thank goodness for our honest upright cheap upholders of the law.
Brian completes his entrance with his arms wrapped round himself in the corner of the ring.
Mina: His opponent, weighing in at 295lbs and hailing from Sin City, Utah, he is Brock Goodmannnnn!!!!!!
Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson prickles the hairs on the back of the goths’ necks in the audience as Goodman makes a no nonsense entrance, ignoring his own pyro.
Daniel: I didn’t know it was Sin City, Utah. Did you Max?
Max: No, I thought he meant Hollywood. You live and you learn. Maybe Mina made it up.
Brock doesn’t wait for referee Todd Franklin to complete the formalities, steaming straight in with a shoulder charge. Brian bounces against the ropes and walks straight into a German Suplex. Brock hulks up in the manner of Brock Lesnar. The crowd gives a mixed reception.
Daniel: Well, have we got the old Brock Goodman back in the ring? He didn’t seem to be holding back there. The crowd seems to have picked up on that and is giving him some heat.
The ghost of a smile crosses Goodman’s lips as he turns and applies a half Boston Crab on Brian before he can rise. After punishing Brian for a few seconds, he shifts into position for a Chokeslam which he delivers with a roar.
Max: Solid work from Goodman.
Daniel: Goodman’s work is as solid as Mrs. Justice’s beef gravy and I’m currently using that to hold the bricks together in that outhouse I’m building.
Goodman drops and covers.
1……….…..2……..Brian kicks out.
Goodman thrusts a knee into Brian’s sternum and uses the ropes for leverage to maximize the pain until Todd Franklin warns him. He counts to 5 and hits Goodman’s hand to force him to let go of the ropes. Goodman releases and gets into Franklin’s face. Todd doesn’t back up however and shows Goodman the referee shirt. The argument gives Brian time to recover and when Goodman turns back, Brian’s strong lariat catches him square in the throat. Goodman sinks to his knees struggling to breathe.
Max: Brian is as sharp as a porcupine with its own quill sharpener. That should even things up a little.
Brian follows up with a double underhook DDT and rolls Goodman over to cover.
1……………Goodman throws him off easily but Brian drops an elbow to subdue him again. Goodman gasps so Brian drops another and then goes to the top turnbuckle for a Brian’s Best Moonsault.
Max: Incoming!!!
The moonsault lands and Brian covers again.
1…………2………..Th, no……shoulder up.
Brian complains that the count should have been three but Todd Franklin indicates only two.
Brian returns and drags Goodman up to force him into a Belly to Belly Suplex.
Daniel: Brian started as a porter in a store lifting heavy goods. It was only a short step to WPW – lifting heavy goods. Goodman is 70 lbs heavier than him.
Brian applies a wrist lock while thinking out his next move. Goodman shakes off his discomfort and rises to his feet, twisting his way out of the lock before Brian can react. He chops Brian and follows up with a Big Boot. Brian fails to go down though so he helps him on his way with a Gutwrench Suplex then a Leg Drop. Brian tries to escape but Goodman pulls him back and applies a Cobra Clutch.
Daniel: Don’t let him take you to the top rope, Gunnar, or this one is over. The Cobra Clutch Backbreaker off the top rope is a sure finisher, and it looks like Goodman has lost any inhibitions that he may have had.
Goodman starts to haul Brian upwards but Todd Franklin insists on release as Brian clutches at a rope. Goodman throws Brian face forward in disgust then stomps him square in the back for good measure.
Max: Goodman has done well, considering his severe disability.
Daniel: I didn’t know that he was disabled.
Max: Goodman was born with a complete absence of charisma, Daniel. It took half an hour before his mother and the midwife realized that he was lying there between her legs.
Daniel: That one was quite funny, Max. I’ll not fine you for that one.
Max (to himself) : Wasn’t supposed to be a joke. I had it straight from the maternity home.
Goodman continues his dominance with an stf. Brian yells with the pain but refuses a submission. Franklin asks the question again but Brian shakes his head and his fingertips finally manage to brush a rope. The referee calls for a break. Goodman reluctantly complies. The wrestlers get to their feet and slowly circle each other looking for an opening. Goodman is distracted by a remark from the crowd and Brian hits him with a swift European Uppercut. This brings some blood to Goodman’s bottom lid which he dabs at as Brian chuckles ‘The doctor is in’. Goodman charges unexpectedly and knocks Brian flying with a hefty shoulder. Brian bounces back off the rope and is caught by Goodman in the stance for a C4.
Daniel: Have the paramedics on standby.
Goodman gets a gleam in his eye and a fierce grin on his face while Brian looks terrified. Goodman backflips, pulling Brian with him in the awesome ‘For Now, Sleep’.
Max: Is it finished yet? I don’t wanna look.
Goodman covers. Franklin counts.
1………………….2………………….3!!!!!
Brian lies, twitching occasionally while Goodman rises to accept the stunned applause of the healthy crowd.
Daniel: I thought we had seen the last of that one. To be honest, I thought we had seen the last of Brock Goodman, but he’s back, and by the looks of it he’s badder than ever.
Medics do slide in the ring to check on Brian but he is shakily helped to his feet and manages to stumble his way backstage all the while ignored by Brock Goodman intent on riling the crowd. It is at least two minutes before he exits the ring to make his way backstage.
Johnny Bad Blood is already in the ring stretching as we pan over to Max and Daniel.
Daniel: Here we go with another first round matchup in the Tournament of Champions!
Max: Speaking of champions, this man certainly knows what it takes to be a champion. Jamie Parker is a former tag team champion and he is the curretn Florida State Champion.
Daniel: But it seems Jamie is always wanting more, and this tournament could very well be a fast track ticket to glory.
"The Prisoner" blasts through the arena as Jamie Parker steps out of the curtain with the Florida title over his shoulder making the belt motion around his waist and then he kicks a ball into the crowd and knocks out someone wearing a Royalty t-shirt.
Mina: Here is his opponent, he is the Florida State Champion, this is Jamieeee Parker!!
Parker stares at JBB and sprints towards the ring and opens up with rights and lefts on JBB as Mina runs out of the ring and the ref rings the bell.
Max: Well it looks like some of the anger Parker seemed to have this week has carried over into this match.
Daniel: Well in his eyes, this match is just meaningless and he wants to get to the second round as quickly as possible. He shouldn't count out Johnny Bad Blood though.
Max: Why not?
Parker is beating JBB in the face as Johnny is trying to cover himself up but to no avail. Parker is then pulled off by the referee but Parker stays on the attack by kicking the kidneys of Johnny. The ref is trying to get Jamie to back off, but Jamie isn't listening. Jamie backs up a bit then looks to set up a big punt to the head. As Jamie goes for the kick Johnny lifts his head and grabs the foot of Parker and pulls him to the mat and clamps on the ankle lock suddenly!
Max: How the hell did that happen?
Daniel: I told you not to discount JBB!
JBB stands up and applies lots of pressure on the ankle lock as Jamie is in the center of the ring trying to scramble for the ropes. Jamie looks as if he is going to tap as JBB is jumping up and down screaming and adding more pressure.
Daniel: Huge upset in the making right here!
Max: No freaking way! Not Johnny Bad Blood!
Jamie uses his fists and plants himself on the mat and uses his leg strength to roll through the ankle lock and send JBB to the outside. Jamie tries to shake the pain out of his leg as he just looks fuming at JBB on the outside.
Max: I think all that did was make Parker even angrier.
Daniel: I can't help but agree.
JBB gets up on the ouside and Parker runs at the ropes and baseball slides JBB right in the face and the force send him against the guardrail with his upper body hanging over the guard rail. Jamie then quickly hops up to the top rope and leaps off the top delivering a double stomp to the upper back of JBB as he screams in pain.
Daniel: Ouch that looked pretty brutal.
Max: You can say that again.
Daniel: Ouch that looked pretty brutal.
Max: I hate you with a fire that burns of a thousand suns, you knnow that?
Jamie gets up and senses the end is near for Johnny and grabs his legs and lifts up the lower body of JBB as the front still hangs over the guardrail. Jamie then holds both legs with one arm and delviers a few short elbow strikes to the back of JBB's knees. Parker then lifts both of JBB's legs high in the air and slams them down as both kneecaps crash into the concrete.
Max: Oh my God!
Daniel: That was just vicious! This is certainly a much more aggressive Jamie Parker than we are used to seeing folks.
Max: I guess he is sending a message to everyone else in the tournament that Jamie Parker is a contender.
Parker just laughs and nudges the head of JBB with his boot as he goes back and rolls into the ring. Jamie just sits in the corner as the ref starts his count.
1........................
2........................
3........................
Daniel: Johnny still hasn't moved Max.
Max: I know, but those fans there seem to be trying to encourage him.
Parker gives a mocking yawn in the corner of the ring as the weight of JBB finally brings him off the guardrail as he rolls to the floor.
4.........................
5........................
6........................
JBB is crawling very slowly toward the ring and using the ring skirt to try and pull himself up.
Daniel: Maybe it'd jsut be better for JBB to stay down.
Max: Jamie certainly doesn't seem to believe it.
Jamie uses the ropes to pull himself up and walks towards the ropes to look at JBB pulling himself up.
7.......................
8.......................
JBB gets a leg on the apron and up comes the second one as Parker is jsut shaking his head.
Daniel: He's gonna get back in there! He's going to do it!
Just as JBB is about to pull himself into the ring on his own power, Jamie grabs the head of Johnny and pulls him to the center of the ring. He sets JBB up with his head in between his own legs. Parker then quickly and suddenly nails the Sustitute on the much larger JBB.
Max: Canadian Destroyer! That should do it!
Parker covers JBB and hooks the leg.........1.....................2............... ........3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mina: Here is your winner, Jamie Parker!!!
Daniel: I think Parker just showed why he is a threat to become the first man to simultaneously hold both the Florida State title and the WPW Championship.
Carlos Gonzalez is walking backstage when he happens across a group of wrestlers standing around.
Carlos: Leave, all of you! I want a word with Mr. Dreamer here.
The wrestlers all disperse leaving just Justin Dreamer and Carlos.
Dreamer: Problem?
Carlos: You may recall that last week you spoke to me in a manner that is quite frankly above your station. Perhaps having seen how the leader of the great Resistance was dealt with on that same show, you have something you might want to say to me now, or would you care to go down the same path as The One?
Dreamer: Firstly, It’s in no way above my station to speak to anyone how I choose. That’s my right as an American. Secondly, what you did to the One was despicable, and I hope it blows right back in your face, kind of like how your little Royalty chums do when you lock yourselves in your locker room.
Carlos’ face turns a bright red color and he grabs his tie and loosens it a bit.
Carlos: How dare you! If that’s how you want to play it Dreamer, then you and every other son of a bitch who insists on having a smart mouth will pay, just like The One did. If you watch tonight’s show closely enough, then you’ll see what I mean!
Carlos walks off indignantly as Dreamer looks after him, then just shrugs his shoulders and walks in the other direction.
Suddenly the lights in the arena go out, and for a moment everything is pitch black.
Daniel: What the hell?
Max: Oh no, not another scary person. I’m tired of scary people.
There are muffled voices and whispers in the crowd as ten seconds go by without anything happening. Slowly a few people begin to cheer restlessly, and a few more begin to boo, when finally a noise breaks the silence.
“Beh-Kaaaaah!”
Daniel: That was a chicken noise!
Max: Listen, a new song!
~Who’s the chicken?! Oh yeah! Who’s the chicken?! Who’s the chicken now? ~
~Who’s the chicken?! Oh yeah! Who’s the chicken?! Who’s the chicken nooooowwwww? ~
The song breaks into a rap.
~ Oh yeah, ever since I was a chick, my skills have been uber sick, I’m the king of the roost, now it’s time to cut you loose!~
~You lookin’ yellow son, yeah you better run, there’s a new chicken in town, and I’m takin that royal crown!~
~My moves are ill, I’ll slam you against your will, I was hatched from an egg, and yet I struggle to get a seg….~
~…ment on the show, what the cluck yo? Yall just afraid of the flow, of El Pollo… Negro!~
Suddenly El Pollo appears on the entrance ramp, his feathers all died black, and a mask covering his face as the crowd look on in utter and complete confusion.
~El Pollo! …. El Pollo, Negro!~
~El Pollo! …. El Pollo, Negro!~
Daniel: Why… That’s El Pollo!
Max: No it’s not, it’s El Pollo Negro!
Daniel: Sorry… My Mistake…
El Pollo flaps his wings as he struts down the ramp, then finally gets to the ring apron and flaps his wings jumping up like Bobby Lashley. Barely making it onto the ring apron, El Pollo then acts as if he’s going to fly over the top rope as well and the fans pop. El Pollo then flaps one big wing at them and then climbs through the top and 2nd ropes instead to a chorus of boos from the fans. El Pollo looks quickly to the fans once inside the ring and raises a middle talon yelling “Cluck off!”. The lights turn on and his music dies down as he grabs a microphone from the corner of the ring.
El Pollo: Mic check, one, two…
El Pollo taps the microphone with his wing for a second.
El Pollo: Hello to all my chicks and cocks in Alabama!
The crowd give a somewhat mixed cheer.
El Pollo: This place is much better than that hell hole Kentucky. Fucking bastards up there the lot of them. Anyway, as you may or may not have heard, it’s time for a change here in WPW. Equal treatment has been demanded, and as thus, until I start to see things change around here, I’ve decided to change with the times. Yes, no longer will I be known as my slave name of El Pollo, no. From now on, you will all know me as El Pollo… Negro!
Max: What’s he talking about Daniel?
Daniel: Hell if I know.
The crowd begin to shift a bit not really sure what reaction to give before El Pollo Negro continues.
El Pollo: Yes, times are a changin’, and it’s time for this chicken to shed his old feathers and find a new way of life, so I decided from now on every week I will be inviting any superstar from the back who wants a shot to come down to this ring and challenge me! No attacks from behind, just straight up one on one competition! You all saw the report on WPW’s website earlier in the week, so now I ask who out there is brave enough to take on not El Pollo, but the new and improved El Pollo Negro? Be there a man who can handle a cock like me?
Daniel: Can you handle the cock Max?
Max: Shut up…
El Pollo Negro waits a few seconds, then quickly brings the microphone back up to his lips.
El Pollo: Ah well, no worries then, see you all nex-
Suddenly Tank’s music hits the speakers.
Daniel: It’s Tank! Tank is accepting the challenge!
Max: El Pollo Negro doesn’t look too happy about it Danny boy!
Tank appears on the stage with a big smirk on his face, then suddenly breaks into a run toward the ring. El Pollo Negro drops to the mat and slides under the bottom rope as Tank slides in. Tank raises his arms to the crowd as they cheer him. After a moment El Pollo Negro’s voice breaks through the music of Tank’s entrance theme.
El Pollo: Hey hey… Okay now settle down. Everyone just chill. I’m sorry, hold on, I’m sorry, I was misleading.
The crowd begin to boo as El Pollo pauses, then rolls back under the bottom rope.
El Pollo: Yeah, ok. Anyway. I think I wasn’t clear. This challenge was supposed to be for the light feathered chickens.
Tank’s face starts to cringe with anger and the crowd begin booing as well.
Daniel: Oh fuck, this is gonna get us pulled, quick commercial!
Max: It’s not time yet Daniel!
El Pollo: You see, you and I… We brothers man, we gotta stick together through the hard times, and fight against The Farmer.
Tank words the mouth “The Farmer?”
El Pollo: Sorry, The Man I believe your breed calls him. You know, the big guy holding us all down? We gotta unite man! Not fight! We already lost Kaze to this war when he went Michael Jackson on us, we can’t be fighting each other. What do ya say?
El Pollo Negro puts out a wing for Tank to shake. Tank looks to the wing, looks out to the crowd who are booing, and then runs forward in a burst of energy and clotheslines El Pollo Negro to the mat. The referee rings the bell.
Daniel: Looks like Tank wasn’t interested in making an alliance with the chicken Max!
Max: Who in their right mind would be?
Daniel: A turkey on thanksgiving?
El Pollo Negro gets to his feet and the instant he’s up Tank clotheslines him hard back down again.
Max: Now that I think about it though, this is kinda messed up.
Daniel: Why?
Max: Well, El Pollo Negro was just looking for a friend, a brother, a nest-buddy, why is Tank so mad?
Daniel: It was an open challenge Max. Not Chicken Friend Finder.
El Pollo Negro gets to his feet and as Tank is incoming again, El Pollo quickly raises his foot and rams it into Tank’s abdomen. Tank falls to one knee and El Pollo quickly runs to the ropes to gain some momentum.
Max: Uh oh, I heard about this Daniel, it’s his new finisher?
Daniel: What is?
Max: What he’s doing now. He calls it the Big Black Cock.
Daniel: Good lord…
Tank stands and El Pollo Negro dives at Tank with a spinning wheel kick but Tank catches him in the air. Tank quickly drops to one knee again and this time brings El Pollo Negro’s feathery back right down on top of his knee. El Pollo Negro folds up and lies broken on the mat as Tank quickly hooks the leg.
One
Two
Three!
Daniel: Tank has pinned the new El Pollo Negro!
The crowd erupt in cheers as a huge smile spreads across Tank’s face.
Mina: The winner of this match, Tank!
Max: This is so unfair. El Pollo Negro had to be distracted by that stupid kid from Ocala, Florida that is licking his lips in the front row.
Daniel: You mean Mini Todd Franklin?
Max: That’s not his god damn name.
Tank lets the referee raise his hand as El Pollo Negro rolls to the outside of the ring. He clucks loudly at Mina and she quickly dives out of her chair.
Daniel: Hey, leave her alone!
El Pollo Negro grabs the steel chair she was sitting in and folds it up, then looks back to the ring where Tank’s back is facing him.
Daniel: Hey, what is El Pollo thinking here?
Max: It’s El Pollo Negro, and the answer to that is simple. He wants to prove a point!
El Pollo waits until Tank’s back to close to the ropes, then he pulls the chair back to get maximum impact on his swing when suddenly the chair is ripped from his hands. The camera isn’t fast enough to catch who took the chair, but it does catch a pair of hands and arms swinging the chair at El Pollo Negro and cracking him over the skull.
Daniel: What in the blue hell? What just happened?
Max: El Pollo Negro!
Daniel: Someone just cracked El Pollo Negro right in the face with that chair. Who is it?
Max: It must be that Farmer guy.
Daniel: Can we get another look please?
The camera goes to instant replay and catches the chair being swung just in the corner of the screen. Even slowed down it’s impossible to figure out who swung the chair, and the camera shot soon goes back to a laid out El Pollo Negro.
Daniel: Damnit. We’ll be right back, can someone please work on that camera shot?
Daniel: Okay everybody we’re back, and we’ve been told just a second ago that perhaps we can see a better angle if we look with the second camera at ringside.
Max: When did we get a second camera at ringside?
Daniel: Apparently we’ve had one all along, but the camera man behind it is blind, and he’s under contract for another five years, so he doesn’t typically get very good shots.
Max: Oh yeah, he’s the son of Carlos’ friend right?
Daniel: I think so… He has that website, “What the eye cannot see photography”.
Max: The guy we sent with the camera in the divas locker room telling him it was Scorch’s?
Daniel: Yeah, that’s the guy!
Max: Oh, okay.
Daniel: Anyway, we’re told this time he was actually there though for once, and his camera was pointed right at the action!
Max: Well let’s see it!
After a few moments the replay starts, and shows El Pollo Negro chasing Mina out of her chair. The camera man runs with the camera toward the scene when suddenly a hand reaches out toward the camera.
Daniel: Here we go and… Hey!
Max: What the cluck?
The hand places the lens cap on the camera, and the shot goes black.
Max: Hey! What the hell is that?
The crack of the chair is heard a few seconds later.
Daniel: Someone put the lens cap on!
Max: Yeah obviously, but how’d they know the camera man was blind? I didn’t even know he was an employee, just thought he was some dude who hung around backstage!
Daniel: Well this just keep getting weirder and weirder Max. Anyway, let's just head straight into our next match, which is a very important match for a lot of people.
Mina: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the number one contendership to the WPW Florida State Championship. First making his way to the ring from Canterbury, England, weighing in at 250 pounds, Jason Bennett!
"Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach hits and the crowd boo like crazy. At the point where the music stops, 8 seconds in, a huge explosion followed by a hoarde of fireworks erupts. The smoke clears and we see Jason standing at the entrance, with his back to the fans, in a cross shape.(Like Chris Jerichos entrance). He spins round, looks at the ring and starts to walk towards it, gets to the canvas, jumps up to the edge(like Lesnar did), more pyro's go off then Jason jumps onto the top rope and forward flips into the middle of the ring with his back to the entrance. Then he slowly turns around, takes the coat off and waits for his opponent.
Max: So this is what a jobber looks like.
Daniel: What are you talking about, he is a former WPW Tag Team Champion!
Max: Who recently jobbed the belts away and got dropped by his partner.
Mina: And his opponent, being accompanied by the WPW Tag Team Champions the Judge and James Moriarty Cassius, he is the Royal Knight!
"E-Pro" by Beck hits the speakers and Royal Knight stands out on the entrance ramp flanked by JMC and The Judge, soaking in the reactions. As the lyrics begin, gold fireworks pour onto him. He closes his eyes and looks straight into them. He makes his way to the ring, lifting his arms a la Randy Orton. He climbs the turnbuckle, throwing his arms into an X at the wrists as JMC and The Judge stand outside the ring.
Daniel: Here comes one of Carlos favorite sons.
Max: What makes you say something like that?
Daniel: No matter how many times Royal Knight fails to win the Florida State belt, he keeps getting more chances at it.
Max: That is because he knows this kid is one of the best ever to grace WPW and he should have his own super title. But he is so selfless he will settle for an inferior belt like the Florida State Championship.
Daniel: I think Bennett’s old partner and the current Florida State Champion, Jamie Parker, might disagree with you on that one.
Max: The same Parker who turned his back on Bennett, potentially setting up a battle between the former championship partners.
Royal Knight tells the referee to go check Jason for a weapon, then takes advantage of the distraction to hit Jason with a running forearm shot to the side of the head. He follows up with some right hands to the face as Jason tries to cover up in the corner. Another shot knocks Jason against the turnbuckles and Knight starts to kick away on his chest. Bennett slumps down in the corner as Knight keeps stomping away, ceasing only at the count of four to run back against the ropes then come flying in with a dropkick to the chest. He drags Bennett from the corner and goes for the early cover…
Daniel: A bit of a surprising move here from Royal Knight.
One…
Bennett kicks out without much trouble causing Knight to pull him up to his feet quickly.
Max: Not really, he is a smart wrestler, makes sure Bennett has to use up his energy.
Knight whips him against the ropes and hits a big back body drop as Bennett bounces off the mat back first. Knight hits a hard stomp to the ribs then kneels down with his leg over the throat of Bennett. The referee begins a count
One…
Daniel: Come on now, this is unnecessary, break the hold.
Two…
Max: This is perfectly legal and great strategy.
Three…
Four…
Daniel: It is a cheap tactic used by those who cannot follow the rules.
F…Knight stands up off the throat to break the count, then kneels back down on the throat…
Max: See he broke it before the five count.
One…
Daniel: Only so he could reapply it.
Two…
Three…
Max: Bennett had plenty of time to catch his breath. I bet Royal Knight breaks it again soon.
Four…
Daniel: Only so he can reapply it once again I bet.
Fi…Knight once again breaks the choke and again starts it right back up as soon as the count is broken…
Max: See I told you, he follows the rules.
One…
Daniel: And I told you he would just do it again, this is ridiculous.
Two…
Three…
Four…
Max: Look at Bennett tries to fake his way into some sympathy from the crowd. Pretending to turn blue like that, who does he think he is, Dan Murph?
Fiv… Knight takes his leg off the throat for a third time and flips Bennett over onto his stomach then sits across his back and reaches his arms under Bennett’s head. Knight locks his hands under the chin and starts to wrench Bennett up and back in a camel clutch. The referee leans down to check on Bennett who verbalizes his refusal to tap out so early on in the move and the match. Knight continues to pull back, at times using more force to increase the pressure of the hold as Bennett starts to fade. Bennett reaches out for the ropes but his hand is a few feet away. Knight screams for him to tap out but Bennett refuses and begins to crawl toward the ropes. Knight sees Bennett beginning to reach for the ropes and shouts for the official to check on him again. Bennett reaches out for the ropes, but JMC pulls it away from his former client! Bennett looks shocked at JMC’s antics but he still reaches out and gets the rope anyway! The referee spots this and orders Knight to break the hold…
Daniel: I am not sure I believe what I just saw there, JMC just tried to screw a former friend and client.
Max: Why would that surprise you, Daniel, he took away the same man’s title at ReActivation. Royal Knight is his boy now and he takes care of his own.
Daniel: He should just let Royal Knight try and do it on his own.
One…
Two…
Three…
Four…
Max: I think Jason may tap out to this one.
Fiv…Knight finally releases the hold, rolling Bennett back over and hooking the leg…
Daniel: You idiot you cannot tap to an illegal move, can you?
One…
Two…
Max: Finally, Royal Knight is moments away from his destiny, embrace his greatness I say, embrace it. Parker should just give him the belt, completely with a fresh new shine.
Thre…Bennett rolls his shoulder up to break the count.
Daniel: Not so fast, Max, a phrase you know all too well. We could still see the clash of the J’s.
The Judge gets up on the apron and distracts the referee while JMC holds Bennetts legs allowing Knight to stands on the throat of Bennett. The referee turns back around and starts his count yet again
One…
Two…
Daniel: Now this is just getting redundant now.
Three...
Four…
Max: Your face is getting redundant now.
Daniel: That made no sense whatsoever, Max.
Five…Knight drops down into a pin just in time…
Max: Only to your mom, oh burn.
One…
Two…
Daniel: You need more help than Royal Knight.
Three…NO! Jason Bennett gets the shoulder up. Knight picks him up and runs off the ropes, Bennett ducks a clothes line, Knight rebounds off the ropes and gets stopped by a kick to the midsection. He gets dropped with a quick DDT and Bennett goes for his first cover…
Max: No, he cheated there! Bennett was choking him before that DDT.
One…
Daniel: Do you just make things up as you go?
Two…
Max: Most of the time, sometimes I have notes.
A shocked Royal Knight is able to kick out of the pin, not having taken much punishment in the match.
Bennett stands up off of him and waits to Knight to get up. Bennett with a stiff right to the jaw, knocks Knight back a step. He locks in a front face lock and picks up Knight, dropping him back with a vertical suplex. He turns back and looks at The Judge and JMC and dares them to come to the ring before dropping an elbow and going for a pin.
One…
Two…
Max: That is why Jason Bennett is not as good as the great Royal Knight, he show boats way too much. Royal Knight is all about business, he gets the job done and is humble about his greatness.
Thr…Royal Knight kicks out of the pin attempt.
Daniel: Do you get excited whenever you see Royalty?
Max: I do salute them whenever I can.
Bennett picks him back up and whips him into the corner. He signals for a coming move and charges at Knight, but The Judge pulls his Royalty partner from out of the ring forcing Bennett to hit the turnbuckles chest first while JMC stands on the ring apron distracting the referee with his walking stick in hand. JMC points over to Knight on the outside, holding his ankle and screaming in agony, causing the referee to go check on his well being. Bennett starts to regain his awareness and spots Knight down and seemingly injured. He does not notice JMC getting in the ring behind him. JMC lifts up his walking stick and swings it like a baseball bat across the back of Bennett! He then lifts it up high and brings it down hard over the back of the head of Bennett, knocking him motionless to the mat. JMC rolls out of the ring behind the referee with his walking stick in hand as Knight starts to recover from his apparent injury.
Max: Such bravery being shown by the Royal Knight. Seriously, how can you not love this kid?
Daniel: For one thing, he just cheated and he is faking it.
Max: You sound like my ex.
Knight crawls into the ring and over towards Bennett. He pushes him over onto his back and drapes the arm across…
Daniel: This match has become a farce.
One…
Two…
Three…Royal Knight takes his arm off and mocks surprise that Bennett was able to kick out.
Max: Oh my, perhaps I was wrong about Bennett…look at that will and determination. How was he ever able to kick out of that?
Daniel: Please tell me you are joking.
He then rolls Bennett over and locks in another camel clutch. He screams at Bennett to tap out, but Bennett does not respond causing the referee to check on him. He grabs the arm to check the pulse and calls for the bell.
Max: Wow, I do not believe it, Royal Knight has beaten the odds and defeated Jason Bennett.
Daniel: This was a travesty, JMC knocked out Bennett with his walking stick and now his golden child is getting yet another shot at Jamie Parker.
Mina: Here is your winner by submission and new number one contender to the WPW Florida State Championship, Royal Knight!
Daniel: This is disgusting, please cut to a commercial or backstage or something?
The lights suddenly go out and a single purple light shines on the ring. The arena falls silent and a unfamiliar voices hits the speakers, almost sounds like a elderly man. The word "Soon" shows up on the big screen.
Soon...
This Tournament takes on a new direction. It feels the wrath of the future, and remembers, never forgets the past.
Soon...
It will be all clear. For some the fear will realized, and for the few others it will be time to cheer.
Soon...
the time will finally come, and for your sake... may he have mercy on your soul. Soon...
The lights suddenly flash back on
Max: What the hell was that!
Daniel: Let's please go backstage.
El Pollo Negro can be seen walking quickly through the parking lot. Ethan Frost and a camera crew are running quickly trying to catch up to him.
Ethan: El Pollo! El Pollo come back! We want to know who might possibly be att-
Suddenly El Pollo Negro turns around and pecks Ethan hard in the neck. Ethan falls down and El Pollo Negro stares down at him.
El Pollo: It's El Pollo Negro! This time, the chicken bites back! Now Cluck off!
El Pollo suddenly spreads his wings and runs off into the darkness of the night.
Daniel: ...
Max: ...
Daniel: Whatever... how about that commercial?
Mina: Please be upstanding for an important announcement from WPW’s very own Jokester!!!
A few of the crowd start to sing the opening to ‘I am the Jokester’ anticipating another wacky entrance, but are brought up short when the PA starts to play Jimi Hendrix’s Woodstock version of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’. Confusion reigns before Jokester emerges from behind the curtain in suit and tie. The Bees accompany him, walking smartly two steps behind. They wear tweed calf length skirts, white blouses buttoned to the top, pearl necklaces, no, real pearl necklaces, and have obviously either been to a professional hairdresser or have used enough hair spray to create their own hole in the ozone layer. They are actually smiling.
Daniel: Good Lord, what on earth is this? Have they run out of drugs or something?
Max: I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. Check your billfold, Daniel. Check mine while you’re at it. This has to be one of Jokester’s schemes to part us from our paychecks.
Daniel: I think you could be right, Max. You know, I think he might have had a shave. The sky may be about to fall. Don’t give him a microphone, Mina. Arrrggghhh!! Too late.
Jokester taps the mic, once, twice……….three times, then, to make sure, smashes it off the mat a few times setting off some feedback as the music finishes on the PA.
Jokester: Yeah. It’s OK. I think it’s working. One two. One two.
(some crowd cheers as Jokester surveys the throng)
Jokester: Some of you will be aware of my recent record in a wrestling ring……….not too good, is it?.......sorta like bringing out Octopus’s Garden after the rest of the Beatles’ singles.Well, that record – my wrestling one, not Octopus’s Garden – has forced me to look for a fresh start – a new way of bringing my talents to the people.
Now……’what are those talents?’ I hear you ask……….
Jokester cups an ear waiting for the response. The crowd start to mumble ‘What are those talents?’
Jokester: I can’t hear you.
Crowd: What are those talents?
Jokester: I’m surprised you have to ask. I’m talking about my winning smile (pulls off a grimace)...... my unending supply of clever comebacks…..
Crowd member: You stink!
Jokester opens his mouth, but nothing comes out for a few seconds :……my unquestioned probity…….
The crowd look confused.
Jokester: Look that one up………….and the loyalty of my fans right here in Opp, Alabama. Thumb up.
The crowd cheers wildly and Jokester wipes the sweat from his brow, surprised at having got that right for once.
Jokester: Now where else, other than a wrestling ring, does a man like me belong?
Same crowd member: In the jaws of an angry shark on steroids.
Jokester: What’s that? Hosting Saturday Night Live? Well, you’re too kind, but they just couldn’t afford me. No, the place for a man like me is………..The Nut House! (Connie whispers something in his ear) ……….sorry, the White House!
Daniel: Oh my God, he really has gone insane.
Jokester: Yes, privileged fans, it is my honor to announce my candidacy for the 2008 US Presidential Election.
Sexy Crowd Member: Which party?
Jokester: Party at your house? Yeah, I could make that.
Same girl: No. Which political party?
Jokester: I dunno. What’ya got?
Same girl: Republican or Democrat?
Jokester: Oh, either. It doesn’t matter. I’ll be standing……or sitting…. and winning in the primaries for both parties………and the Independents. I’ll be standing in their primaries too. Yes. By late next year, it will be Jokester’s finger on the nuclear button, Jokester’s cigar in the intern’s panties, Jokester’s face on the two dollar bill…….but, rest assured, my wrestling commitments will be fulfilled. I gotta do something to pass my time. I thank you for your support and now………..if I’m not mistaken, I’ve got a wrestling match to win.
Daniel: Well, there you have it, wrestling fans. Somewhat in the footsteps of Jesse Ventura, our very own Jokester is standing for president of the USA. May the Lord help us all.Your thoughts, Max?
Max: I think we might just have witnessed genius, Daniel. I never liked Jokester with all his inane jokes, his questionable wrestling talent and his fat side women but I’m beginning to think that it’s time we had another clown in the White House. Look at the success the current one is having.
Daniel: That’s one vote in the ballot box for insanity. I have a strange feeling that there might be dozens…….even scores more. Luckily, Max isn’t registered, so there’s hope yet.
Jokester removes his suit and tie to reveal his familiar pink leotard with smilie face though the face wears a ‘Vote Jokester’ button. Vengeance’s music hits…….
Daniel: And we’re set for our second Tournament of Champions 2007 opening round match. And Max, these two guys have history together
Max: Sure, that and chemistry, if you catch my drift
Daniel: I’m sure I don’t. Former tag team rivals square off tonight as Vengeance takes on the Jokester in a match for respect
Max: Actually, I think it’s for the ToC, but who’s counting? Let’s start this baby up!
Jokester is already inside the ring. He’s bouncing off the ropes, intense. “Stronger” hits the speakers. After several seconds of music, Vengeance comes out, looking dark and mysterious. He makes his way to the ring, looking down toward the ground, deep in thought
Mina: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is an opening round Tournament of Champions match! Introducing first: Off the coast of Japan, weighing in at 255 pounds... Vengeance!
Daniel: All this guy wants is to be taken seriously
Max: He got way bent out of shape, thinking that Jokester disrespected him
Daniel: Plus he may still be upset after Fallen lost to Tokester a while back. Anything it takes to bring the motivation
The two men lock eyes in the center of the ring, daring each other to throw the first punch. Jokester looks stern, as if he actually wants to compete. Jokester offers his hand out to Vengeance
Daniel: What’s this?
Max: Has the laughing lunatic gone soft?
Vengeance, looking in shock, stares at the hand of Jokester. He doesn’t move an inch, just keeps looking at the hand
Daniel: A locked gaze
Max: I wonder what he’s looking at
Jokester pulls his hand back, then laughs. He pulls a strap off his wrist, showing a comedy buzzer
Daniel: That trickster!
Max: A hand buzzer? Oh, when will that crazy man learn?
Jokester sets down the buzzer, offering a real handshake. Vengeance, feeling better, reaches for the hand of Jokester. But the Jokester pulls his hand back, and delivers a thumb to the eye
Daniel: Thumb to the eye
Max: So much for growing up
Vengeance stumbles back and blinks his eyes a few times to see. He glares at Jokester, who is holding his arms up and asking “Get it?” Vengeance charges at Jokester, knocking him down with a clothesline
Max: I guess he didn’t
Both men make it back to their feet, but Vengeance is already all over Jokester, with rights and lefts. Jokester pushes the bigger man, allowing him a few seconds to breathe. But Vengeance grabs at the outstretched arm, and takes Jokester down with an arm drag. Vengeance holds onto his submission
Daniel: Vengeance looking for his respect
Max: Imagine the amount he’ll get if he can pull off an upset here against Jokester. Nobody has him pegged to make it past this match
Daniel: Exactly. It’s his time to shine
Jokester hammers away on Vengeance, but it isn’t enough to break the hold. Jokester reaches into his bag of tricks and pulls out – a thumb to the eye
Max: Original
Vengeance releases the hold, favouring his left eye
Daniel: Jokester, trying to blind the bigger man
Max: Why doesn’t he just do the things he did before to win?
Daniel: What do you mean?
Max: Vengeance has been taking it to Jokester this entire match
Daniel: Max, the match has only been going for a few minutes
Max: Has that ever stopped a WPW wrestler from winning before?
Jokester kicks Vengeance hard in the gut, causing him to drop his head. Jokester, seeing the opportunity, bounces off the ropes. He lifts his leg high into the air for a scissors kick. Alas, he only reaches a few inches of height before crashing down. Once he hits the mat, Jokester looks around to see if anybody is laughing. Vengeance definitely isn’t
Max: Interesting offense by Jokester
Daniel: What was even trying to do that for?
Max: Showing off his flexibility in ways which are legal
Vengeance is just staring at Jokester. His eyes look as if they are going to bulge out, and his veins are popping. Jokester stands up, and plants a kiss on the cheek of Vengeance, before retreating to a neutral corner. Vengeance looks ready to snap
Daniel: ...
Max: I’ve got nothing
Vengeance, rolling his eyes back, screams out in anger. He beats his chest, then charges at Jokester, giving up on wrestling and wanting to just hurt him. Jokester rolls out of the way, sending Vengeance chest first into the turnbuckle. He bounces off, and staggers in the ring. Jokester runs back in, and dives head first into the gut of Vengeance. Vengeance continues to stagger. Jokester, on all fours, bites at the shins of his opponent, like a rabid dog
Daniel: And now we see Jokester... biting his opponent
Max: You never know what to happen with this guy
Vengeance falls to his ass, then kicks at the face of the dog. Jokester falls back, getting a nasty shot to the nose. Vengeance makes the cover
One...
Two...
Thr... Kickout!
Daniel: Vengeance looking for a quick win
Jokester rolls out of the ring again, and Vengeance follows suit. The two men come to blows on the outside, trading rights and lefts. The referee begins to count
One...
Jokester and Vengeance are collar tied up, each trying to get an advantage
Two...
Vengeance wins the power struggle
Three...
Vengeance slams down on the neck of the Jokester
Four...
Jokester drops to one knee, while Vengeance continues to pound on the neck
Five...
Jokester grabs the legs of Vengeance, sending him to the ground back first
Six...
Jokester drops an elbow, and hammers with only lefts
Seven...
Jokester punches away, and yells at the referee “Six!”
Five...
Daniel: What?
The referee is confused. Jokester yells out “Four!”
...Three...?
[COLOR=paleturquoise]Max: Oh yeah, we only hire the best and brightest
Jokester yells out “Four!” again. The referee just throws his arms up, yelling “Forget it!” Jokester smiles at his handy work, but is met with a stiff shot to the temple, rolling Vengeance on top of Jokester
Daniel: So I guess now there will be no count outs in this match
Vengeance gets off Jokester, but kicks him in the ribs for good pleasure. Vengeance takes a few steps back, levelling up Jokester
Max: What’s he planning here?
Daniel: Looks like maybe a shot to the head
Max: Please, like that’ll put anybody down
Jokester struggles to his feet, just as Vengeance attacks with a big boot. But Jokester is down just enough to dodge the attack, sending Vengeance directly on his shoulders. Jokester stands up with ease
Daniel: He’s got him high in the air!
Jokester runs at the barricade, throwing his foe over and at the fans.
Daniel: I hope nobody got injured
Most get out of the way, except one. A skinny, red haired white kid in an oversized black t-shirt spills his beer from the impact. He looks down at Vengeance, then at his beer
Max: Say it...
Ginger: DAMN!
The entire crowd pops. Jokester shakes the kid’s hand, then picks up Vengeance from over the barricade. Jokester throws him back into the ring. Jokester climbs to the top rope, and after a few fancy taunts...steps off, not jumping
Daniel: Smart thinking by Jokester
Max: ...wow that sounded weird
Vengeance returns to his feet, but is brought down again with an armbar takedown. Jokester locks in the hold
Daniel: Shades of earlier
Max: That’s what you can remember of earlier?
Vengeance quickly makes it to the ropes, breaking the hold. Jokester signals for the end, waiting for Vengeance to return to his feet. Vengeance makes it up, and Jokester sets him up for his finisher
Daniel: Here is comes
Max: Whoopee Cushion
Jokester is about to execute the move, but stops. He kicks at the buzzer which was left in the ring to right below him. Jokester finishes the powerbomb onto the child’s electric buzzer. The shock sinks into Vengeance. Jokester makes the cover
One... Jokester breaks the hold
Daniel: What was that?
Max: He stopped the pin
Jokester seems shaken, but makes another cover
One... Jokester breaks away again
Daniel: I’m confused
Max: More than normal
Jokester just lets a single finger touch Vengeance, which causes an electric spark. Jokester looks in amazement. He keeps poking at Vengeance, watching the pretty colors
Daniel: Well that certainly is a new one
Vengeance makes it back up to his feet having had plenty of time to rest. He looks at his supercharged body. He shoves at Jokester. The electricity sends Jokester halfway across the ring and chargrilled
Daniel/Max: HOLY SHIT
Vengeance looks at the damage. He smiles. He kicks at Jokester, which causes him to rise off the air.
Daniel: That shock can’t be good for his heart
Max: Well, it can’t be any different than that shock he gets when he has those heart attacks
Vengeance picks up Jokester, who is now being charged with volts, and throws him over the ropes. Jokester is coughing up smoke
Max: Looks like the usual Saturday night for him
Jokester is trying to recover on the outside. Suddenly, he gets an idea. He heads over toward the announce table
Max: Hey, you stay away from me!
Jokester grabs a bottle of water. He returns to the ring, and takes a swig. Vengeance is about to make another punch, when Jokester spits the water into his face. Now Vengeance sizzles, and drops to the mat. Jokester makes the cover. The electro-shock has worn off
One...
Two...
Three...
Mina: Here is your winner... Jokester!
Daniel: Possibly one of the strangest endings I’ve ever seen
Max: I agree this had to be....
The lights shoot out once again and the lights turn to Purple and focus into the ring and the familiar word hits the speakers
Soon...
In this tournament of Champions his voice will be heard. You will know his name once again.
Soon...
Vengeance will be more than just a name, it will be more than a word.
Soon...
You will now what it means, and for you, the man who destroyed his soul, things will never look up again.
Max: What the hell? Twice in one show?
Daniel:I don't know, let's head backstages.
We see Scorch warming up in his locker room, when suddenly the door is opened and in walks Jamie Parker. From the look on Scorch’s face, it’s safe to assume he wasn’t invited. Parker meanwhile has a huge grin on his face.
Parker: Terribly bad news about SiNN, isn’t it?
Scorch: Have you got a reason for being here Parker?
Parker: No, not really, just came to wish you luck I guess. You’re gonna need it. After all, you and SiNN don’t have a great record tagging against Royalty, and well, SiNN aint gonna even be there this time. That added to the fact that the two you’re facing tonight beat me and Jason a few weeks back, and in the weeks before that I beat you and we beat you and The One, things don’t really look too bright for you now, do they?
Scorch: Like I said, any reason for you to be here?
Parker: No, I guess there isn’t. Anyway, chin up! At least there’s only two of them to worry about…. To begin with.
With that Parker walks out of the locker room, leaving Scorch to let out a deep breath and return his attention to his stretches.
The cameras go backstage where Jokester is leaving the arena with the bees. Just as he's about to get to the door to leave Johnny Bad Blood runs up in front of him.
Johnny: Hey! You realize the team of Aftertoke is walking out with a two and one record tonight right?
Jokester stares on at Johnny not saying a word. Connie and Tina are also staring, but more confused than actually ignoring him.
Johnny: Well... Anyway, did you want to go get a drink or something buddy?
Jokester stands silent for a moment, then without a word he, Connie, and Tina all walk past Johnny Bad Blood and out the back door toward the parking lot. Johnny is left standing there for a moment looking confused before the camera returns to the ring.
Daniel: Do we even have a main Event, now?
Max: Why wouldn’t we?
Daniel: You saw what happened Earlier. Royalty decided it would be a fun day to beat the unholy hell out of SiNN! SiNN is completely out fo it, and I don’t know if he’s been taken to the hospital or not but nevertheless he’s gone. Meaning...
Max: That since SiNN was in the main event, are we going to have a forfeit.. or a handicap match?
Daniel: Which is probably what Royalty is hoping for...
In The Ring, Mina is being fed information by a stagehand, she is nodding and soon enough is ready to make an announcement.
Mina: Ladies and Gentlemen.. Due to a backstage incident, SiNN will be unable to compete tonight in the Match of SiNN & Scorch Vs. Cassius and The judge... but Carlos Gonzales has ruled that the match shall continue.. in the exact same form as a handicap match!
Daniel: What?
Max: Oh, crap on a stick!
As soon as this information leaves Mina’s mouth, “Counting bodies Like sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drum” begins to play to a chorus of boos from the audience at this low handed manoeuvre. Cassius and the Judge appear side by side, smiling over at their respective sides of the crowd. Judge taps Cassius on the shoulder and says something that makes him laugh. The two then proceed down the ramp to the ring.
Mina: Introducing to this match first... Representing The Royalty. They are the WPW World Tag Team Champions.... The Judge and James Moriarty Cassius!!
Cassius and Judge have entered the Ring and Judge has charged up the turnbuckle holding out his Tag Team strap. Cassius takes his off his waist and spins on the spot with it outstretched in his arms.
Max: You have to hand it to them, they know how to make a good plan.
Daniel: I don’t have to hand them anything. They probably just killed SiNN all for a win!
“Blisters and Coffee” by The Classic Crime begins to play and the crowd explodes! Scorch, The WPW champion appears, holding out his WPW title in his hands. He shows it to the crowd which they react positively to before palcing it on his shoulder.
Mina: And their opponent... From Tinley Park, Illinois. He is the WPW WORLD CHAMPIONN!!! Scorch!!!!!
Scorch charges down, not stopping to shake any hands, knowing full well what awaits him down there. But he charges in and slides inot the rign with his two opposing wrestlers waiting for him.
The Judge elects to start things off for royalty, and JMC steps to the outside. Scorch looks across the ring to JMC, then turns his attention to Judge standing across from him. Scorch signals for a collar and elbow tie up, but Judge instantly hits a boot to the gut. Scorch bends over and Judge hits a double axe handle into his upper back, before shifting position and taking Scorch to the mat with a side Russian leg sweep. With his opponent down, Judge stands cockily waiting for him to get back, which doesn’t take long as Scorch instantly springs to his feet. Judge looks for a short arm clothesline, but it’s ducked by Scorch who hits a kick to the gut of his own. He grabs the arm of Judge and jerks himself and the Royalty member sideways, but Judge is alert to it and whips Scorch off the ropes.
Daniel: Bit ambitious there by Scorch. I think he might have been looking for the Ignitor so soon into the match.
Max: He’s scared Daniel. He saw what happens to people who disrespect Royalty, so he wants to get out of here as quickly as possible, and preferably in one piece.
Daniel: So, any ideas on who the culprit is?
Max: All I know is it wasn’t me. Although, I have my suspicions that it might be a former sports player.
Daniel: you mean Parker?
Max: No, Scorch!
Daniel: Right, and why would he want to take out his one remaining ally and his partner for tonight?
Max: Look, a flying gorilla!
Daniel: Yes, like that’s going to work to distract me.
Max: Worked on me before. I don’t think I can even mention the consequences on radio.
Daniel: Max, we’re on television, on a wrestling program. Speaking of which, we have a match in progress that we should turn our attention back to.
Max: Yeah, I know, but the wrestling kinda bores me.
Daniel: Amazing how you got booked for this job, isn’t it?
Max: I guess you could say that.
Daniel: Ok, enough! Back to the match!
Scorch comes off the ropes and hits Judge with a flying clothesline before jumping to his feet. He picks Judge up, but Judge charges him back into the corner and makes a tag to JMC. JMC comes in and Judge and Scorch take turns to lay boots into Scorch, until Judge leaves long after the referee’s five count.
Daniel: That was longer than the five count. Royalty should be disqualified
Max: Oh come on, when was the last time a team was actually disqualified for that rule?
Scorch has balled up in the corner, trying to protect himself from Cassius, who continues to strike on his own. JMC slams his foot down hard across the ribs of the champion. Cassius plants his heel on the forehead of Scorch, digging his foot in deep. Scorch clutches at the foot of Cassius, but has no luck taking it off. The referee once again steps in with the five count
One... JMC twists his foot in deeper
Two... Cassius grabs the ropes to plant down his heel
Three... Scorch grabs hold of the nerves around JMC’s ankle, pinching at his tendons. JMC releases the hold, right as the ref calls for 4
Daniel: Royalty really trying to use the clock in illegal ways
Max: Illegal? They get five seconds to do whatever they want
Daniel: Within reason. I don’t think a chokehold counts
Max: It was a stomp to the head, not a choke. And I’m the one who doesn’t know anything about wrestling
JMC takes a step backward, trying to take a bit of pressure off the not-so-damaged foot. Scorch meanwhile is trying to get to his feet, shaking the cobwebs out. Cassius charges at Scorch, and lays him flat with a clothesline. Judge claps in the corner for his partner, as the heavyweight champion grabs his head in agony. JMC glances down at Scorch and then makes his way to his corner to make a tag, but before he gets there, he gets hit with a dropkick to the back from a quickly recovered Scorch. JMC tumbles forward and knocks into judge, sending him sprawling from the apron. Cassius looks down at his partner, then turns round straight into a right hand. Scorch follows up the punch with several more until he is admonished by the ref. Scorch whips Cassius across to the opposite corner and follows up with a jumping knee to the ribs.
Daniel: If SiNN hadn’t been taken out, Scorch would eb able to make a tag right now.
Max: Talk about stating the obvious. SiNN isn’t here, nor is he gonna be here. So, no need to be making pointless statements like that.
Daniel: So, you have no idea who took SiNN out?
Max: I think it was a current second-tier champion
Daniel: Parker?
Max: No, Scorch!
Daniel: but he isn’t a second tier champion, he’s the heavyweight champion of this company!
Max: he sure looks second rate in that ring out there tonight.
Daniel: And I suppose he was the one who took out El Pollo too?
Max: No, that was The Farmer! Do you even watch the stuff you commentate on?
Scorch follows up on a winded Cassius with a DDT, snapping him to the ground. He quickly uses the middle rope to hit a lionsault and hooks the leg.
One
Two
Cassius kicks out, prompting Scorch to get to his feet. Scorch grabs the leg of Cassius and pulls him out from the ropes a bit. He drops to one knee and locks in a half Boston crab on the former WPW champion and waits patiently for JMC to no longer be able to absorb the pain. Cassius makes his way towards the ropes, but Scorch stands up and drags JMC backwards, but gets an unsighted kick to the head from Judge as he does. Scorch collapses to the mat and Judge quickly pulls JMC to the Royalty corner and makes a tag.
Daniel: Well, Cassius said he was going to destroy the Resistance tonight, and with SiNN already in a medical facility and the numbers game catching up on Scorch, he may be right.
Max: Well, despite Scorch’s assurances to the contrary, Resistance has been running around like a headless chicken since The One got fired last week. They may still be moving, but it’s only a matter of time before they die.
Daniel: Under other circumstances I might have congratulated you on the thought process behind that comparison. But Scorch said it best himself when he said Cassius was prone to overlooking him, so I wouldn’t rule out a comeback just yet.
Max: Look to the stage, maybe that will change your mind.
On the ramp, Royal Knight is making his way to ringside, still in his wrestling gear from his victory over Jason Bennett earlier in the night. He walks down to the Royalty corner and confers with James on the outside. Whatever he said is met with approval by the Royalty leader who nods his head, before Royal Knight makes his way back up the ramp.
Daniel: That was strange indeed, not like Royalty to make an exit before they’ve had some interaction with their opponents.
Max: Well, in these circumstances they hardly need Royal Knight anyway. Any more than the two they already have at ringside would simply be bullying.
Judge makes his way over to Scorch following the conference in the corner, but gets taken by surprise as he reaches down to Scorch and gets rolled up.
One
Two
Judge kicks out. Both men get to their feet and have the same idea as they simultaneously hit clotheslines. Both men are down, but Scorch is just a fraction quicker to his feet. Scorch uses the ropes to propel himself forward and hits his trademark stiff clothesline. Scorch again Whips his opponent into his vacant corner and looks for his running knee, but this time Judge catches the knee under his shoulder before it connects. As quick as lighting, Scorch jumps up and places his other foot on Judges other shoulder and twists his body to take Judge to the mat.
Daniel: that’s 492 reasons why The Judge is over-rated.
Max: What? Just cos Scorch hit one move?
Daniel: no, that’s what Scorch calls the move.
Max: Seems a bit ridiculous to name a move just for one wrestler.
Daniel: Idiot, his opponents name is substituted in depending on who it is.
Max: Still seems stupid to me. Look, we have more activity on the ramp.
Royal Knight has again made his way out to the ramp, only this time he has a steel chair. He pauses halfway down the ramp and calls something back up to the stage. From behind the curtain comes Jamie Parker, also brandishing a steel chair. Royal Knight waits and Parker catches up to him, and the two men walk side by side the rest of the way to the ring.
Daniel: What the hell is Parker doing out here? And why is he walking alongside his challenger for the Florida title?
Max: It was Parker! Parker was the one who took out SiNN as an initiation act for Royalty.
Scorch is alerted to the danger by the shouts from the crowd, and turns to face the two men, but they walk round to the Royalty corner instead of entering the ring. Scorch turns back to Judge, but gets met with a low blow. The rule breaking goes unnoticed by the ref who has gone over to try and persuade Parker and Royal Knight to leave ringside. The ref gives up and turns back to the action, just in time to see The Judge slide out of the ring and grab one of the tag titles. Judge climbs back into the ring with the tag belt, but is stopped by the referee, allowing Royal Knight to enter the ring unnoticed. Royal Knight approaches Scorch and lifts the chair above his head. A loud CRACK rings through the arena, but Royal Knight has yet to swing his chair. Turning round, Royal Knight sees JMC crumple to the floor and Parker dropping a chair on the outside. Royal Knight seems confused, which is all the invitation Scorch needs to spring into action and hit the Ignitor.
Daniel: What the hell?
Max: Don’t even bother to ask me, I haven’t got a clue!
Parker slides into the ring just as Judge tosses the referee aside. Judge makes to hit Scorch with the title belt, but as he does, parker jumps and nails a dropkick into the belt, sending it back into Judge’s face. Scorch looks to Parker, and Parker looks to Royal Knight on the ground, then to Judge beside him. Parker motions to Scorch to grab Royal Knight as he grabs The Judge. Both men lift up the respective members of Royalty and Scorch hits a sixth degree burn on the Knight as Parker hits a substitution on The Judge. Suddenly, both men look behind them as the bell rings. The referee is consulting with Mina on the outside.
Mina: the winners of this match, as a result of disqualification, James Moriarty Cassius and The Judge, Royalty!
Scorch looks incredulous at the ref, then shrugs his shoulders as he spots JMC get to his feet on the outside. JMC surverys the scene in the ring, as Parker grabs Scorch’s hand and raises it into the air with a smile on his face as both men glance down at the fallen Royalty members in the ring and their enraged leader on the outside.
Daniel: Did Parker just sign up for the Resistance?
Max: I don’t know. Can anyone explain what just happened out here? Or what the hell has been happening all night?
Daniel: Well, maybe it’s best if we don’t speculate and wait for the explanations and undoubted repercussions next week. We’re out of time, so goodni….
Max: wait, I’ve figured it out!
Daniel: Huh?
Max: El Pollo Negro took out SiNN for all the chicken he eats and Jokester took out El Pollo Negro as a vote-winner in the slave loving south.
Daniel: Good night everyone, and once again my apologies on behalf of my colleague!
Match Graphics
Artist: Mr. Hendrickson
Backstage Segments
Writers: APostingGod, Duff, The Judge
Brock Goodman vs. Gunnar Brian
Writer: Legendaryken
Johnny Bad Blood vs. Jamie Parker
Writer: Mike Adams
El Pollo Open Challenge
Writer: The Judge
Royal Knight vs. Jason Bennett
Writer: Scorch
Vengeance vs. Jokester
Writer: HBK619
Royalty vs. Resistance
Writer: Duff (entrances by Prometheus)